The Deepest Colors(2/?)
New Jersey was a small place so I should have been prepared in the case I ran into my nameless prince but I wasn’t. It never crossed my mind, as long as I sat in that corner every Saturday I never had to face him.
The heat washed over me in rolling waves as I tried to enjoy the afternoon at one of the few private dog parks in the city. The green trees had a shadow of browning leaves much like most of New York. People lead me to believe it was flawless here, but I put very little trust in the place I called home. It was beautiful here but its secrets of desperation and failure made it much to sinister as It decayed your soul one day at a time.
“Charlie” I called out figuring she had enough exercise and I had enough time in the dark part of my brain. “C’mon lady, Aunty M should be here soon.” The pink army print leash I connected to her collar,never ceased to muster a chuckle at my horrible fashion sense in high school. “I can finally sing some real Karaoke “
It was hotter by the time Mercedes appeared at my door only long enough to throw her bag in and pull me out of the small apartment claiming New Jersey needed her attention. My skinny jeans stuck to my legs do to the dampness and the normal looking blue t-shirt stuck to my back as my brown hair sat messily on my head.
“Mercedes, I know you enjoy coming every summer but couldn’t you consider coming during the winter? So I could hibernate in my air-conditioned apartment?” She scoffed walking into one of the small shops set up for tourists. A distant hum of boats and water playing as background music to our adventure.
“Man up Hummel!” she walked to her left, her eyes big in amazements at all the trinkets.
“You come here every year, how can you still be amazed at the stupid little objects”
“They are not stupid!” she protested with her hands on her hips and a stern look in her eyes. I rolled my eyes in good nature, shaking my head.
“I agree” both of our heads snapped to find the owner of the intruding voice. “Not to impose” I had never seen him smile, not like that. He often gave a polite lip up gesture to the waitress as he excited but never had I seen his face light up the way it did that second.
I wasn’t sure if they could here the loud pulse of my blood in my ear but as his mouth moved I found my eyes trained on his lips forgetting I didn’t have darkness to shield me. He wore jeans with a button up blue shirt and a dark blue hoodie, his hair neatly trimmed and styled. My eyes trailed down his body before I realized some one was calling for my attention.
“Kurt? Kurt!” I blinked a few times, clearing my throat in the process.
“Sorry, sorry” his hazel eyes watched me cautiously but his smile stayed on his face, surrounded by a very faint stubble it almost wasn‘t there. “My manners, forgive me” I ignored the stares Mercedes was giving me as I held out my hand. “I’m Kurt”
“Nice to meet you Kurt” I had never dreamed of my name leaving his lips. His eyebrow went up in an arch as his pink lips curled around the syllables of my name. “I’m Blaine”
“Blaine, nice name” I commented, feeling as if he could see right through me. My heart was beating much faster then normal and my breath was coming out short but I hid it with a smile.
“Well I have to get going” he gave a nod to Mercedes, his eyes lingering on me for a second before walking out of the store.
“Kurt are you-”
“it was him” I said in one shallow breath. My lip quivering.
“HIM” her voice becoming more understanding and soothing.
“yes” I said with my eyes still on the door.
I felt like a fool. This confirmed it, even if I met him on the streets I could never be enough for him. I could never be perfect enough for Blaine .
“C’mon, I think its almost time for the matinee show and we need to make it across the river.” as we walked out, I couldn’t help but do a sweep of the area hoping I could catch one more glimpse of him.
You’re an Idiot Hummel, go watch your stupid little play, with your stupid little friend from high school and leave the world alone. Your gay. You’re a nuisance. You’re a washed up Broadway star. No one could ever love you.