Ear Infection
I have an ear infection. Honestly, I don't think I've ever had one before...but this. Hurts. In my job I travel a lot, and the last flight I took was excruciatingly painful. My ears were popping and I had pain that originated in my inner ear and traveled all the way down my throat. It hurt...and has continued hurting, although significantly less, through the weekend all the way to today. I went to the doctor and got medicine for it....so now....we wait. Generally I feel comfortable in saying that this sucks.
On a lighter note...Ray (the guy that moved to Alaska) and I are friends. I think for real this time, and I am sincerely glad. I don't know exactly what makes me feel some kind of bond with him. But I feel it, and I love him. All of him....all of his many flaws...all of his high points....all of his mistakes...and all of his potential for good things.
I have decided that I love Chris too. In a little bit of a different way though. I love all of him too, but...what makes it different is that I trust him with some things I don't trust Ray with. When it comes to how I want a guy to treat me...he's got that down. But when it comes to what I look for in a guy. In a husband. He has a lot of it, but a few key things missing. He's very giving, trusting, trustworthy, forgiving, understanding, considerate, selfless to a degree, shares his feelings, respectful, likes me, loves me, finds me attractive, he's nice, gentlemanly, organized, good with money, goal oriented, motivated to reach his goals, seems like he'd be good in bed, attentive, looks ok, nice family, loyal, takes initiative, and many other good things. The only things I can think of that I don't like are that we aren't in the same place with God and he's not very disciplined and sometimes irrational. These don't seem like big things to many people, but God is really important to me. I want to be with someone who will support me in that and help me grow with God. Everyone deals with God in their own way, but I don't think he can do that for me. I think your husband should compliment and support you in all of the ways you think are important. That is huge for me, and he can't be there for me...the discipline thing is ok for now. BUT. Children learn from their parents so many of their habits and they kind of take on their flaws. Discipline is something huge that I lack, and he doesn't compliment me there either. So...we wait...see what happens next.
It's crazy. I am so flawed, and I think we are just both waiting to see what happens.
On a lighter note...Ray (the guy that moved to Alaska) and I are friends. I think for real this time, and I am sincerely glad. I don't know exactly what makes me feel some kind of bond with him. But I feel it, and I love him. All of him....all of his many flaws...all of his high points....all of his mistakes...and all of his potential for good things.
I have decided that I love Chris too. In a little bit of a different way though. I love all of him too, but...what makes it different is that I trust him with some things I don't trust Ray with. When it comes to how I want a guy to treat me...he's got that down. But when it comes to what I look for in a guy. In a husband. He has a lot of it, but a few key things missing. He's very giving, trusting, trustworthy, forgiving, understanding, considerate, selfless to a degree, shares his feelings, respectful, likes me, loves me, finds me attractive, he's nice, gentlemanly, organized, good with money, goal oriented, motivated to reach his goals, seems like he'd be good in bed, attentive, looks ok, nice family, loyal, takes initiative, and many other good things. The only things I can think of that I don't like are that we aren't in the same place with God and he's not very disciplined and sometimes irrational. These don't seem like big things to many people, but God is really important to me. I want to be with someone who will support me in that and help me grow with God. Everyone deals with God in their own way, but I don't think he can do that for me. I think your husband should compliment and support you in all of the ways you think are important. That is huge for me, and he can't be there for me...the discipline thing is ok for now. BUT. Children learn from their parents so many of their habits and they kind of take on their flaws. Discipline is something huge that I lack, and he doesn't compliment me there either. So...we wait...see what happens next.
It's crazy. I am so flawed, and I think we are just both waiting to see what happens.