(no subject)
After you called last night I couldn't sleep..... I kept tossing and turning and getting that sick to my stomach feeling I get when I know something bad is going to happen. I'm suprised I held it together enough to not cry myself to sleep, but somehow I did. And somehow I crawled out of bed this morning and went on with my day as if everything was normal.
I feel like something's wrong. Like maybe you'll do what you said you would. And that picture in my head makes me want to puke. It's was one thing to do when we weren't in a relationship. It's completely different now that you've dedicated yourself to me. It kills me when you say things that hurt as if they are just words.
My body hurts. And after 155 days of dealing with this.... I'm ready to be done. Please don't make me worry about you or this anymore. Because, love, you'll end up killing me in the end.