I'm a party animal: an ostrich.
My roommate's soccer friends are here and there's maybe 15 people in our kitchen. Why am I more interested in reading a book than standing in my kitchen with all these people? I've never been comfortable in a room of strangers. I have no idea what to talk about, and no idea who to look at. Worse, I have trouble understanding some people when there's a lot of background noise. Which makes conversation difficult. This number of people just make me nervous, especially when they're having multiple conversations. I have no idea how to navigate between groups. I was supposed to go dancing tonight, which is a social context I understand. Maybe I missed partying when I was younger and now I'm doomed to a lifetime of ducking out at the first opportunity. Or is this why I skipped partying when I was younger?
I know that I felt miserable at the grad student Halloween dance party the other weekend. I even knew some of those people and had a decent time last year. This year, I hated the music, none of which I'd ever heard before (since all I hear is the 80s classic station in the kennel at work and I don't pursue popular music on my own). The interactions seemed fake. Usually I just dance and generally ignore the people, but with uninspiring music, I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt profoundly alone, even though Brandi was there, as though this thing was somehow making it hard even to connect with her.
Am I becoming a hermit in a quarter age crisis?
I know that I felt miserable at the grad student Halloween dance party the other weekend. I even knew some of those people and had a decent time last year. This year, I hated the music, none of which I'd ever heard before (since all I hear is the 80s classic station in the kennel at work and I don't pursue popular music on my own). The interactions seemed fake. Usually I just dance and generally ignore the people, but with uninspiring music, I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt profoundly alone, even though Brandi was there, as though this thing was somehow making it hard even to connect with her.
Am I becoming a hermit in a quarter age crisis?