unsure
i started this jornal because i was hoping people would run accross it and give me some advice. i am a christian, but i am gay. i have loved guys as long as i can remember. when i was in middle school and my friends and i looked through playboy magazines, i would always flip to the spreads with guys in them with the women. i don't know how to rectify this situation, and i don't know how to find love. i am tired of reading about other people's experiences with love and being left out in the cold. i am afraid that everything in my life, including my job, my friends, and my family, will come crumbling down around me if i ever come out. what do i do?