Nobody Wins [stand alone]
Title - Nobody Wins
Author - Me.
Rating - PG, R for language and drugs?
Pairing - Rydon
POV - 1st, Brendon. Bold is Ryan.
Summary - Look what you've missed, living like this. Nobody Wins.
Disclaimer - Lyrics owned by Jess adn Lisa Origliasso, The Veronicas. They boys own themselves. Kapeesh?
Author Notes - I love this song sososo much, I had the idea to do this when walking home. I hope you enjoy it. n_n
yus, I know I'm probably getting all the theres and theirs wrong but its late and I haven't had much sleep -___-
---------------------
Hold your head up high
You're never wrong
Somewhere in the right you belong
You would rather fight than walk away
What a lonely way to breathe the air
What an unlovely way to say you care
Now we're too far gone for me to save
And I never thought that we'd come to this
---------------------
You sigh as you watch Ryan's retreaing back after one of your, now many, fights. At first, it had begun as small argument over which songs should be on the new album. Then, it became more personal. The verbal attacks started becoming more vicious, more hurtful.
Each word that was screamed out across the room cut through each other like a jagged knife. When Ryan had started talking about how he doesn't blame your mother for thinking of you as a dissapointment you know that every word he is speaking is the truth. You kind of die a little inside when he walks out.
When you look back at when you first met Ryan, you never thought everything would end up this way. You never faught the way you did now. It seems that is all you do now. Fight about whether you should record back in Vegas. Fight about what you should be doing each night. Fight about who is talking to who. After each fight, you know it's getting closer.
---------------------
Maybe there's beauty in goodbye
(no one's wrong or right, you would rather fight, then you walk away)
There's just no reason left to try
(now it's gone too far, look at where we are)
You push me away
Another black day
Let's count up the reasons to cry
Look what you've missed, living like this
Nobody wins (nobody wins)
---------------------
You had always seen a sort of beauty in heartbreak. It was such a raw emotion, it inspired so many great songs, stories, peices of art. You could feel so many emotions all at once. Sadness, anger, betrayed. You could learn about yourself.
The closer you could feel it ending, the less you start to try. You and Ryan weren't who you were a few years ago. You haven't changed much. But Ryan, Ryan had changed. He wasn't the same, shy and nerdy kid that Brendon first met. He wasn't the same Ryan that was inspired by My Chemical Romance and wanted to be different. The same Ryan that would stick his middle finger up to the world because, yeah, he just didn't give a fuck.
---------------------
Searching for the truth in your eyes
Found myself so lost don't recognize
The person now that you, you claim to be
Don't know when to stop, or where to start
You're just so caught up in who you are
Now you're far too high for me to see
I'd never thought that we'd come to this
---------------------
You grab your car key's and head through the loungeroom to the front door. Seeing Brendon sitting on the couch with a book, you feel the guilt washing over you. Your scared, even though you've done this a million times.
"Bren," you say. "I'm just gonna go see Spencer for a bit."
Brendon looks up from the couch and yeah, he knows. He knows you aren't going to see Spencer. You see his heart slowly breaking a little more and you just want to see that smile back on his face. He hasn't smiled in a while.
---------------------
"Bren, I'm just gonna go see Spencer for a bit." Ryan says, walking through the loungeroom of the apartment you shared.
You look up from the couch and you can already tell that no, Ryan is not going to see Spencer. You'll definatly know for sure when you get a call later in the afternoon from a wasted Ryan Ross telling you about the magic carpet he is flying on with Aladdin.
"Okay," you say quietly.
Ryan looks at you and you find yourself lost in his eyes, because it's when you realize that this isn't your Ryan.
"Are you alright, B?" Ryan ask's and all you can do is nod.
He looks at you with a satisfied smile and says "I'll see you tonight." With just a squeezw of your shoulder, he walks out the door and your left alone with only your thoughts for company. You found this happening a lot more then you realize. You think about the old days of you and Ryan. When Ryan was yours and you were his. When you were both young and immature. When it was okay just to stay in your old, shitty apartment for the day because it meant you were together. Now, you didn't know who this Ryan was. He was always out. He was always getting high. Always with Alex fucking Greenwald and Z Berg. He wasn't your Ryan, and you weren't even sure if he ever was.
---------------------
Maybe there's beauty in goodbye
(no one's wrong or right, you're about fly, then you walk away)
There's just no reason left to try
(now it's gone too far, look at where we are)
You push me away
Another black day
Let's count up the reasons to cry
Look what you've missed, living like this
Nobody wins (nobody wins)
---------------------
You watch Alex do a line and start giggling. Because you are Ryan Ryan Ross Rumbug Rumbug Roo Bear. And you, well you love Brenny Bren Bren Bear Boo. Then you remember Brenny Bren Bren Bear Boo's face as you left the castle. Your small castle. The one that Brenny Bren Bren Bear Boo found for you both. You start giggling some more. You're flying. Flying. On a magic carper. Oh yes. Aladdin is flying with you. Thinking of Brenny Bren Bren Bear Boo you pick up your phone and you put it to your ear.
"Hey Ry," Brendon says.
"Brenny Bren Bren Bear Boo! I love you." You yell into the phone.
You hear Brendon sigh. "Yeah, love you too."
"I'm flying." You squeel, bursting into fits of giggles. "Oh my shitface! I nearly fell off!"
"Be careful." Brendon says, and you don't notice the sadness in his voice.
"Aladdin says hi."
---------------------
After the call from Ryan, you start thinking about how little you saw of him these days. He missed out on a lot. He still hadn't seen that new song you wrote a few weeks ago. He hadn't seen the new trick you taught Bogart. He hadn't seen the new guitar you had got him. You know he is pushing you away, and now your sick of pushing back. You're letting him go. Why? You don't even know.
All you know is that nobody wins.
---------------------
You never say you're sorry
Try to tell me that you love me
But don't - it's too late to take it there
---------------------
You can't believe what you had done the night before. You didn't remember it, but it had been caught on Alex's camera. You and Z. You holding the phone. Brendon.
You stop at your bedroom door and listen to the soft music that is making its way through the apartment. You hear Brendon's voice, it's mesmerising. You can hear every emotion he was feeling in that song. You can hear the sadness, the lonliness. You can hear every bit of dissapointment, everything thats gone wrong. It brings tears to your eyes.
It's like you've been paralized. You can't move. You want to. You want to wrap your arms around Brendon and make it all better.
Your legs seem to work on there own and your sitting on the bed beside Brendon. You look down at your hands, sitting in your lap, and look up at Brendon.
"I love you." You say.
Brendon just shakes his head and you don't blame him.
---------------------
You keep hearing that stupid phone call in your head. You could still remember the sounds of Ryan moaning, Ryan saying Z's name over and over. You could still here the lips crashing.
You play your guitar like you've never played before. Every little thing went into that song. Every time Ryan had said something about you when you fought. Every single word that your mother had said about you. Everything the kids at school had said, even your sisters, your brothers. Everything. Every single emotion you were feeling. You let it all out in that one song.
You weren't singing Ryan's words, you were singing your own. They were what you were thinking. What you were feeling.
You place the guitar by your feet and don't look up as you see Ryan sit beside you on the bed.
"I love you," he says and all you can do is shake your head.
---------------------
Maybe there's beauty in goodbye
(no one's wrong or right, you're about fly, then you walk away)
There's just no reason left to try
(now it's gone too far, look at where we are)
You push me away
Another black day
Let's count up the reasons to cry
Look what you've missed, living like this
Nobody wins
---------------------
The band splits. Ryan and Jon go there way, you and Spencer go yours. You throw yourself into your music. It's all you do. You write, you play. You don't do much else. You don't want to do anything else. You don't want to think, you don't want to talk. Not just yet.
Someone told you a few years ago that this would of happened, you would've laughed in their face. Because this was Ryan's dream and it was your dream and Spencer's and Jon's dream. Now that it's happened, you don't know what to do. You feel like you've lost a part of yourself.
You here your phone ringing and your heart sinks a little when it's only Pete calling.
Nobody wins.
---------------------
You know that it's gone too far. You know that but you really wish you didn't know that at all. When you write songs you still think about what Brendon would sound like singing, or Spencer would think about the lyrics. That's when you realize that Brendon won't be singing your words and no, Spencer won't be talking to you about the lyrics anymore.
You wish you still had Brendon there, with his bright smile and that infectious laugh. When had things become so screwed, you don't remember. You remember the old days of you and Brendon, of RyanandBrendon and you kind of die a little inside.
Nobody wins.
---------------------
Nobody wins.
---------------------
Nobody wins.
---------------------
Nobody wins.
---------------------
Author - Me.
Rating - PG, R for language and drugs?
Pairing - Rydon
POV - 1st, Brendon. Bold is Ryan.
Summary - Look what you've missed, living like this. Nobody Wins.
Disclaimer - Lyrics owned by Jess adn Lisa Origliasso, The Veronicas. They boys own themselves. Kapeesh?
Author Notes - I love this song sososo much, I had the idea to do this when walking home. I hope you enjoy it. n_n
yus, I know I'm probably getting all the theres and theirs wrong but its late and I haven't had much sleep -___-
---------------------
Hold your head up high
You're never wrong
Somewhere in the right you belong
You would rather fight than walk away
What a lonely way to breathe the air
What an unlovely way to say you care
Now we're too far gone for me to save
And I never thought that we'd come to this
---------------------
You sigh as you watch Ryan's retreaing back after one of your, now many, fights. At first, it had begun as small argument over which songs should be on the new album. Then, it became more personal. The verbal attacks started becoming more vicious, more hurtful.
Each word that was screamed out across the room cut through each other like a jagged knife. When Ryan had started talking about how he doesn't blame your mother for thinking of you as a dissapointment you know that every word he is speaking is the truth. You kind of die a little inside when he walks out.
When you look back at when you first met Ryan, you never thought everything would end up this way. You never faught the way you did now. It seems that is all you do now. Fight about whether you should record back in Vegas. Fight about what you should be doing each night. Fight about who is talking to who. After each fight, you know it's getting closer.
---------------------
Maybe there's beauty in goodbye
(no one's wrong or right, you would rather fight, then you walk away)
There's just no reason left to try
(now it's gone too far, look at where we are)
You push me away
Another black day
Let's count up the reasons to cry
Look what you've missed, living like this
Nobody wins (nobody wins)
---------------------
You had always seen a sort of beauty in heartbreak. It was such a raw emotion, it inspired so many great songs, stories, peices of art. You could feel so many emotions all at once. Sadness, anger, betrayed. You could learn about yourself.
The closer you could feel it ending, the less you start to try. You and Ryan weren't who you were a few years ago. You haven't changed much. But Ryan, Ryan had changed. He wasn't the same, shy and nerdy kid that Brendon first met. He wasn't the same Ryan that was inspired by My Chemical Romance and wanted to be different. The same Ryan that would stick his middle finger up to the world because, yeah, he just didn't give a fuck.
---------------------
Searching for the truth in your eyes
Found myself so lost don't recognize
The person now that you, you claim to be
Don't know when to stop, or where to start
You're just so caught up in who you are
Now you're far too high for me to see
I'd never thought that we'd come to this
---------------------
You grab your car key's and head through the loungeroom to the front door. Seeing Brendon sitting on the couch with a book, you feel the guilt washing over you. Your scared, even though you've done this a million times.
"Bren," you say. "I'm just gonna go see Spencer for a bit."
Brendon looks up from the couch and yeah, he knows. He knows you aren't going to see Spencer. You see his heart slowly breaking a little more and you just want to see that smile back on his face. He hasn't smiled in a while.
---------------------
"Bren, I'm just gonna go see Spencer for a bit." Ryan says, walking through the loungeroom of the apartment you shared.
You look up from the couch and you can already tell that no, Ryan is not going to see Spencer. You'll definatly know for sure when you get a call later in the afternoon from a wasted Ryan Ross telling you about the magic carpet he is flying on with Aladdin.
"Okay," you say quietly.
Ryan looks at you and you find yourself lost in his eyes, because it's when you realize that this isn't your Ryan.
"Are you alright, B?" Ryan ask's and all you can do is nod.
He looks at you with a satisfied smile and says "I'll see you tonight." With just a squeezw of your shoulder, he walks out the door and your left alone with only your thoughts for company. You found this happening a lot more then you realize. You think about the old days of you and Ryan. When Ryan was yours and you were his. When you were both young and immature. When it was okay just to stay in your old, shitty apartment for the day because it meant you were together. Now, you didn't know who this Ryan was. He was always out. He was always getting high. Always with Alex fucking Greenwald and Z Berg. He wasn't your Ryan, and you weren't even sure if he ever was.
---------------------
Maybe there's beauty in goodbye
(no one's wrong or right, you're about fly, then you walk away)
There's just no reason left to try
(now it's gone too far, look at where we are)
You push me away
Another black day
Let's count up the reasons to cry
Look what you've missed, living like this
Nobody wins (nobody wins)
---------------------
You watch Alex do a line and start giggling. Because you are Ryan Ryan Ross Rumbug Rumbug Roo Bear. And you, well you love Brenny Bren Bren Bear Boo. Then you remember Brenny Bren Bren Bear Boo's face as you left the castle. Your small castle. The one that Brenny Bren Bren Bear Boo found for you both. You start giggling some more. You're flying. Flying. On a magic carper. Oh yes. Aladdin is flying with you. Thinking of Brenny Bren Bren Bear Boo you pick up your phone and you put it to your ear.
"Hey Ry," Brendon says.
"Brenny Bren Bren Bear Boo! I love you." You yell into the phone.
You hear Brendon sigh. "Yeah, love you too."
"I'm flying." You squeel, bursting into fits of giggles. "Oh my shitface! I nearly fell off!"
"Be careful." Brendon says, and you don't notice the sadness in his voice.
"Aladdin says hi."
---------------------
After the call from Ryan, you start thinking about how little you saw of him these days. He missed out on a lot. He still hadn't seen that new song you wrote a few weeks ago. He hadn't seen the new trick you taught Bogart. He hadn't seen the new guitar you had got him. You know he is pushing you away, and now your sick of pushing back. You're letting him go. Why? You don't even know.
All you know is that nobody wins.
---------------------
You never say you're sorry
Try to tell me that you love me
But don't - it's too late to take it there
---------------------
You can't believe what you had done the night before. You didn't remember it, but it had been caught on Alex's camera. You and Z. You holding the phone. Brendon.
You stop at your bedroom door and listen to the soft music that is making its way through the apartment. You hear Brendon's voice, it's mesmerising. You can hear every emotion he was feeling in that song. You can hear the sadness, the lonliness. You can hear every bit of dissapointment, everything thats gone wrong. It brings tears to your eyes.
It's like you've been paralized. You can't move. You want to. You want to wrap your arms around Brendon and make it all better.
Your legs seem to work on there own and your sitting on the bed beside Brendon. You look down at your hands, sitting in your lap, and look up at Brendon.
"I love you." You say.
Brendon just shakes his head and you don't blame him.
---------------------
You keep hearing that stupid phone call in your head. You could still remember the sounds of Ryan moaning, Ryan saying Z's name over and over. You could still here the lips crashing.
You play your guitar like you've never played before. Every little thing went into that song. Every time Ryan had said something about you when you fought. Every single word that your mother had said about you. Everything the kids at school had said, even your sisters, your brothers. Everything. Every single emotion you were feeling. You let it all out in that one song.
You weren't singing Ryan's words, you were singing your own. They were what you were thinking. What you were feeling.
You place the guitar by your feet and don't look up as you see Ryan sit beside you on the bed.
"I love you," he says and all you can do is shake your head.
---------------------
Maybe there's beauty in goodbye
(no one's wrong or right, you're about fly, then you walk away)
There's just no reason left to try
(now it's gone too far, look at where we are)
You push me away
Another black day
Let's count up the reasons to cry
Look what you've missed, living like this
Nobody wins
---------------------
The band splits. Ryan and Jon go there way, you and Spencer go yours. You throw yourself into your music. It's all you do. You write, you play. You don't do much else. You don't want to do anything else. You don't want to think, you don't want to talk. Not just yet.
Someone told you a few years ago that this would of happened, you would've laughed in their face. Because this was Ryan's dream and it was your dream and Spencer's and Jon's dream. Now that it's happened, you don't know what to do. You feel like you've lost a part of yourself.
You here your phone ringing and your heart sinks a little when it's only Pete calling.
Nobody wins.
---------------------
You know that it's gone too far. You know that but you really wish you didn't know that at all. When you write songs you still think about what Brendon would sound like singing, or Spencer would think about the lyrics. That's when you realize that Brendon won't be singing your words and no, Spencer won't be talking to you about the lyrics anymore.
You wish you still had Brendon there, with his bright smile and that infectious laugh. When had things become so screwed, you don't remember. You remember the old days of you and Brendon, of RyanandBrendon and you kind of die a little inside.
Nobody wins.
---------------------
Nobody wins.
---------------------
Nobody wins.
---------------------
Nobody wins.
---------------------