Breathe
Title - Breathe [s/a]
Author - loveisnofavour
Rating - PG
Pairing - Past Ryan/Brendon
POV - 3rd, Italics is the song.
Summary - You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand and I can't breathe without you, but I have too.
Disclaimer - This is pure fiction. Not real. Unfortuanly I doubt it ever will be. Taylor Swift owns her song, Breathe, Biys Like Girls totally own the cut, Hero/Heroine, and the boys own themselves, kay? Good. We have that sorted.
Dedication - You, [:
A/N - What I do when it's late and I can't sleep >.<
Warning unbetad. D:
I see your face in my mind as I drive away,
Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way.
People are people,
And sometimes we change our minds.
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time.
----
"I'll see you around I guess." Ryan muttered, leaning on the door of his car.
"Yeah. I guess." Brendon shrugged.
Ryan gave a small nod and hopped in the car. He looked up at Brendon and gave a sad smile. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah. Me too." Brendon replied, walking away.
----
Ryan couldn't get that image out of his head. Brendon's face as he drove away. His face looked blank, like he wasn't feeling a thing. His eyes said otherwise. They were scared, upset. If he could change the way things were, he would. He would never have let this happen. Brendon had been the only thing that kept him sane. Ryan was never one to open up his heart for someone, but with Brendon it was different. Ryan couldn't help it. Brendon made it easy to be himself and made it easy for Ryan to trust him, to love him. Things had changed, Ryan wasn't the same person he was when they'd met. Brendon hadn't changed much at all. Now Ryan was sure that Brendon could do better. It's why he had to go. It was killing him to leave. Brendon had been the best thing in his life. It was hard to walk away from something to good, something so perfect.
----
Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie,
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see.
Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down,
Now I don't know what to be without you around.
----
"Brendon." Ryan said.
It was late at night, the two young boys were laying outside on the soft grass. The soft light of the moon made everything seem so unrealistic and beautiful.
"Mmm."
"I love you."
Brendon looked at Ryan, a wide grin on his face. Sure, Ryan knew he loved Brendon. It just always took a while for him to let others know how he feels.
"I love you too, Ry." Brendon said before placing his lips on Ryans.
----
It's funny how hello is always followed by goodbye. It's funny how the good memories now make Ryan cry. It's funny how forever never seems to last. It's funny how the most important people are the ones to leave. It's funny how ironic life turns out to be. The funniest thing is none of this is funny to Ryan. It had been RyanandBrendon for so long, he didn't know what it was like when it was Ryan and Brendon. Brendon had made him whole. He didn't know who he was without him. When someone meant so much and taught you so much, losing them was like losing a part of yourself.
----
And we know it's never simple, never easy.
Never a clean break, noone here to save me.
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand,
And I can't, breathe, without you but I have to,
Breathe, without you, but I have to.
----
Reltionships are far from easy. You always have to keep someone in mind when you do something. Always have to be careful about what you say. Ryan loved his relationship with Brendon because he was never afraid of being who he really way. Brendon loved him because of his imperfections aswell as the good things about him. Without Brendon, he couldn't breathe. But ths was all his fault anyway, as usual he'd fucked up one of the best things in his life. Better on his terms then not.
----
Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt.
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve.
But people are people,
And sometimes it doesn't work out,
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out.
----
"Ryan," Jon said gently, placing a reassuring hand on the younger boys back. "it's gonna be fine dude."
Ryan looked up at Jon and glared. "It is not going to be alright because I fucked up the most important thing I had."
Jon shook his head and stood from his spot beside Ryan on the old couch in Ryan's loungeroom. Ryan had had it for years and wouldn't get rid of it.
"Why did you do it? I thought everything was going well."
"Everything was going well. Better then well. It was going really, really good."
"Then why?" Jon asked.
"Because he is to good for me." Ryan answered quietly.
"And what got that idea in your head?" Jon asked, slightly annoyed.
"Well I was having a smoke with Alex and he asked what Brendon thought about when I drink and do all that shit. I told him that Brendon doesn't mind aslong as I'm not like full into it. Then Alex said something about not expecting Brendon to be like that and thinking that Brendon would go for someone better then me."
"He actually said someone better then you?"
"Well no, but it's what he meant. I started thinking about it then and decided that Brendon was too good for me."
Jon just shook his head.
----
Ryan had promised himself, and Brendon, that he would never hurt him. He just did. It killed Ryan that he could do something to someone so that deserved so much. Brendon had been there through everything. He had been there when Ryan's dad had passed away, he had held his hand through the long days that felt like hell. Brendon had been there when they first went on tour, the excitement and nervousness all mixed in. Brendon was there to pick up the pieces of a broken Ryan. Brendon was always there.
----
And we know it's never simple, never easy.
Never a clean break, no one here to save me.
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand,
And I can't, breathe, without you but I have to,
Breathe, without you but I have to.
----
Brendon went through the days with a smile. He'd smile at the elderly lady doing her gardening as he passed her house. He'd smile at the young kids playing at the park. He'd smile at the teenage couple, cuddling under the shade of a tree. It's amazing how fake a smile can be. It's amazing Brendon can breathe without Ryan.
----
It's two a.m.
Feelin' like I just lost a friend.
Hope you know it's not easy,
Easy for me.
----
Ryan glanced at his phone and groaned. It was 2 a.m. and he hadn't slept in days. He had not only lost his soulmate, he lost his best friend too.
Ryan sighed angrily as he spotted the frame on his bedside table. The photo inside made Ryan's heartbreak a little more, if that was even possible. The photo had been one of his favourite's. Him and Brendon were lying on his bed, arms lazily wrapped around each other, foreheads touching and eyes closed. He grabbed the frame and threw it against the wall. The sound of shattering made Ryan jump.
He opened his draw and grabbed out a little white package that Alex had given him.
"Only one line." He told the darkness.
----
It's two a.m.
Feelin' like I just lost a friend.
Hope you know this ain't easy,
Easy for me.
----
Brendon sat on his bed with his head in his hands. He'd given up trying to sleep hours ago. It seems to be another thing he can't do without Ryan.
He looked at the frame beside the bedside table and stared at the photo for a few minutes. It was his favourite. It showed the love they had. It showed the trust, it showed everything they felt towards each other. He grabbed the frame and held it close to his chest, curling up into a little ball under his blankets.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He whispered into the darkness.
Tears ran silently down his face and before he knew it, he was out like a light, still clutching the photo.
----
And we know it's never simple, never easy.
Never a clean break, noone here to save me.
I can't, breathe, without you but I have to.
Breathe, without you but I have to.
Author - loveisnofavour
Rating - PG
Pairing - Past Ryan/Brendon
POV - 3rd, Italics is the song.
Summary - You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand and I can't breathe without you, but I have too.
Disclaimer - This is pure fiction. Not real. Unfortuanly I doubt it ever will be. Taylor Swift owns her song, Breathe, Biys Like Girls totally own the cut, Hero/Heroine, and the boys own themselves, kay? Good. We have that sorted.
Dedication - You, [:
A/N - What I do when it's late and I can't sleep >.<
Warning unbetad. D:
I see your face in my mind as I drive away,
Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way.
People are people,
And sometimes we change our minds.
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time.
----
"I'll see you around I guess." Ryan muttered, leaning on the door of his car.
"Yeah. I guess." Brendon shrugged.
Ryan gave a small nod and hopped in the car. He looked up at Brendon and gave a sad smile. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah. Me too." Brendon replied, walking away.
----
Ryan couldn't get that image out of his head. Brendon's face as he drove away. His face looked blank, like he wasn't feeling a thing. His eyes said otherwise. They were scared, upset. If he could change the way things were, he would. He would never have let this happen. Brendon had been the only thing that kept him sane. Ryan was never one to open up his heart for someone, but with Brendon it was different. Ryan couldn't help it. Brendon made it easy to be himself and made it easy for Ryan to trust him, to love him. Things had changed, Ryan wasn't the same person he was when they'd met. Brendon hadn't changed much at all. Now Ryan was sure that Brendon could do better. It's why he had to go. It was killing him to leave. Brendon had been the best thing in his life. It was hard to walk away from something to good, something so perfect.
----
Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie,
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see.
Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down,
Now I don't know what to be without you around.
----
"Brendon." Ryan said.
It was late at night, the two young boys were laying outside on the soft grass. The soft light of the moon made everything seem so unrealistic and beautiful.
"Mmm."
"I love you."
Brendon looked at Ryan, a wide grin on his face. Sure, Ryan knew he loved Brendon. It just always took a while for him to let others know how he feels.
"I love you too, Ry." Brendon said before placing his lips on Ryans.
----
It's funny how hello is always followed by goodbye. It's funny how the good memories now make Ryan cry. It's funny how forever never seems to last. It's funny how the most important people are the ones to leave. It's funny how ironic life turns out to be. The funniest thing is none of this is funny to Ryan. It had been RyanandBrendon for so long, he didn't know what it was like when it was Ryan and Brendon. Brendon had made him whole. He didn't know who he was without him. When someone meant so much and taught you so much, losing them was like losing a part of yourself.
----
And we know it's never simple, never easy.
Never a clean break, noone here to save me.
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand,
And I can't, breathe, without you but I have to,
Breathe, without you, but I have to.
----
Reltionships are far from easy. You always have to keep someone in mind when you do something. Always have to be careful about what you say. Ryan loved his relationship with Brendon because he was never afraid of being who he really way. Brendon loved him because of his imperfections aswell as the good things about him. Without Brendon, he couldn't breathe. But ths was all his fault anyway, as usual he'd fucked up one of the best things in his life. Better on his terms then not.
----
Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt.
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve.
But people are people,
And sometimes it doesn't work out,
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out.
----
"Ryan," Jon said gently, placing a reassuring hand on the younger boys back. "it's gonna be fine dude."
Ryan looked up at Jon and glared. "It is not going to be alright because I fucked up the most important thing I had."
Jon shook his head and stood from his spot beside Ryan on the old couch in Ryan's loungeroom. Ryan had had it for years and wouldn't get rid of it.
"Why did you do it? I thought everything was going well."
"Everything was going well. Better then well. It was going really, really good."
"Then why?" Jon asked.
"Because he is to good for me." Ryan answered quietly.
"And what got that idea in your head?" Jon asked, slightly annoyed.
"Well I was having a smoke with Alex and he asked what Brendon thought about when I drink and do all that shit. I told him that Brendon doesn't mind aslong as I'm not like full into it. Then Alex said something about not expecting Brendon to be like that and thinking that Brendon would go for someone better then me."
"He actually said someone better then you?"
"Well no, but it's what he meant. I started thinking about it then and decided that Brendon was too good for me."
Jon just shook his head.
----
Ryan had promised himself, and Brendon, that he would never hurt him. He just did. It killed Ryan that he could do something to someone so that deserved so much. Brendon had been there through everything. He had been there when Ryan's dad had passed away, he had held his hand through the long days that felt like hell. Brendon had been there when they first went on tour, the excitement and nervousness all mixed in. Brendon was there to pick up the pieces of a broken Ryan. Brendon was always there.
----
And we know it's never simple, never easy.
Never a clean break, no one here to save me.
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand,
And I can't, breathe, without you but I have to,
Breathe, without you but I have to.
----
Brendon went through the days with a smile. He'd smile at the elderly lady doing her gardening as he passed her house. He'd smile at the young kids playing at the park. He'd smile at the teenage couple, cuddling under the shade of a tree. It's amazing how fake a smile can be. It's amazing Brendon can breathe without Ryan.
----
It's two a.m.
Feelin' like I just lost a friend.
Hope you know it's not easy,
Easy for me.
----
Ryan glanced at his phone and groaned. It was 2 a.m. and he hadn't slept in days. He had not only lost his soulmate, he lost his best friend too.
Ryan sighed angrily as he spotted the frame on his bedside table. The photo inside made Ryan's heartbreak a little more, if that was even possible. The photo had been one of his favourite's. Him and Brendon were lying on his bed, arms lazily wrapped around each other, foreheads touching and eyes closed. He grabbed the frame and threw it against the wall. The sound of shattering made Ryan jump.
He opened his draw and grabbed out a little white package that Alex had given him.
"Only one line." He told the darkness.
----
It's two a.m.
Feelin' like I just lost a friend.
Hope you know this ain't easy,
Easy for me.
----
Brendon sat on his bed with his head in his hands. He'd given up trying to sleep hours ago. It seems to be another thing he can't do without Ryan.
He looked at the frame beside the bedside table and stared at the photo for a few minutes. It was his favourite. It showed the love they had. It showed the trust, it showed everything they felt towards each other. He grabbed the frame and held it close to his chest, curling up into a little ball under his blankets.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He whispered into the darkness.
Tears ran silently down his face and before he knew it, he was out like a light, still clutching the photo.
----
And we know it's never simple, never easy.
Never a clean break, noone here to save me.
I can't, breathe, without you but I have to.
Breathe, without you but I have to.