(no subject)
sometimes i can see right through people.
and that is why i never get close to anyone.
i'm just afraid they'll see right through me?
but you know what??
so what if they do?
i don't know what the fuck i'm so scared of.
i mean i'd like to think i'm exceptionally different, but in a million ways, i'm just like everyone else.
so i don't know what i'm hiding.
i think it's just hard because there are a few things i've learned about myself that my friends may not have figured out yet. and it's kind of a big deal to me, and it's the reason i keep to myself sometimes. i like being reclusive a little bit.
the other night these ladies came into my work. there were 23 of them and they were members of the Red Hat Society. at first i thought they just looked real silly, but the more i learned about them, the more i admired them. i don't really know why. i guess it was just fascinating to see women who are so proud of their age that they flaunt it like that. and it was somewhat refreshing. women are taught that aging is a bad thing.. yet here is a group of older women who are so content with it.
i don't trust very many people anymore. i just feel as though everyone has an ulterior motive and no one is truly genuine. maybe that should include myself.. who knows. the thought just scares me.
saturday i'm taking a day (maybe overnight) trip somewhere with stephanie. i don't know where to go, so i'm looking for ideas.
i had so much fun tonight at the DMB concert, but in a way, it left me feeling empty.
i wish it were easy to fix.
<333333333
kel
and that is why i never get close to anyone.
i'm just afraid they'll see right through me?
but you know what??
so what if they do?
i don't know what the fuck i'm so scared of.
i mean i'd like to think i'm exceptionally different, but in a million ways, i'm just like everyone else.
so i don't know what i'm hiding.
i think it's just hard because there are a few things i've learned about myself that my friends may not have figured out yet. and it's kind of a big deal to me, and it's the reason i keep to myself sometimes. i like being reclusive a little bit.
the other night these ladies came into my work. there were 23 of them and they were members of the Red Hat Society. at first i thought they just looked real silly, but the more i learned about them, the more i admired them. i don't really know why. i guess it was just fascinating to see women who are so proud of their age that they flaunt it like that. and it was somewhat refreshing. women are taught that aging is a bad thing.. yet here is a group of older women who are so content with it.
i don't trust very many people anymore. i just feel as though everyone has an ulterior motive and no one is truly genuine. maybe that should include myself.. who knows. the thought just scares me.
saturday i'm taking a day (maybe overnight) trip somewhere with stephanie. i don't know where to go, so i'm looking for ideas.
i had so much fun tonight at the DMB concert, but in a way, it left me feeling empty.
i wish it were easy to fix.
<333333333
kel