(no subject)
What I don't think you get, is that when you get pissed off at me, it makes me not give a fuck and get pissed off even more back. Like seriously just get so irritated I just don't even care. So that is where that aspect of it comes from. It wasn't like "Shit, that sucks, wish I could've hung out with y'all but I guess I understand, see ya next time". It's like immediately angry, bitter texts that try to make me feel like shit. And I'm not gonna.
I am at a selfish point in my life right now. For the most part I do whatever I want and what makes me happy. It's really all that gets me through til tomorrow, because most other stuff in my life isn't where I want it to be. I try to balance my time between friends, but it gets hard, and sometimes I just get tired of having to please everybody. So when you're gonna be the only guy there and we never get to go with just the girls, I don't really feel that bad asking if we can just hang out Weds. I don't think it is that much to ask. Granted, it did come at the last minute, but I didn't get home til 10:45, nor on the road til 11:15, and this didn't even come to my attention until they brought it up in the car. As I said, if I had more notice, you would have heard about it. "I'm sure". Come on, really? That type of shit frustrates me so much. And "two big blow offs in a row".. whatever. We just showed up for the Dave Matthews concert in the hopes that we could snag tickets, and eventually we did, but if not then Saucer was gonna be our backup plan. So yes, sorry that was late notice too. But these are the times that I wish you had other plans or other things to do instead, so I didn't feel like you rely on me for fun twice a week, and you wouldn't make me feel so damn guilty for doing last minute things that make me happy.
There is literally so much I've felt recently that I want/need to say to you but I am way too tired and it can't happen tonight.. just know that in the future some things will be said, and they most likely will not be things you want to hear.
I love you, and I'm sorry, but things are getting out of hand.
I am at a selfish point in my life right now. For the most part I do whatever I want and what makes me happy. It's really all that gets me through til tomorrow, because most other stuff in my life isn't where I want it to be. I try to balance my time between friends, but it gets hard, and sometimes I just get tired of having to please everybody. So when you're gonna be the only guy there and we never get to go with just the girls, I don't really feel that bad asking if we can just hang out Weds. I don't think it is that much to ask. Granted, it did come at the last minute, but I didn't get home til 10:45, nor on the road til 11:15, and this didn't even come to my attention until they brought it up in the car. As I said, if I had more notice, you would have heard about it. "I'm sure". Come on, really? That type of shit frustrates me so much. And "two big blow offs in a row".. whatever. We just showed up for the Dave Matthews concert in the hopes that we could snag tickets, and eventually we did, but if not then Saucer was gonna be our backup plan. So yes, sorry that was late notice too. But these are the times that I wish you had other plans or other things to do instead, so I didn't feel like you rely on me for fun twice a week, and you wouldn't make me feel so damn guilty for doing last minute things that make me happy.
There is literally so much I've felt recently that I want/need to say to you but I am way too tired and it can't happen tonight.. just know that in the future some things will be said, and they most likely will not be things you want to hear.
I love you, and I'm sorry, but things are getting out of hand.