(no subject)
I'm sort of getting to be the age where I have lots of different groups of friends. Friends from high school, who are my rocks, and my best tie to the past, and the ones who I will be friends with forever no matter how long we spend apart. Friends from college (especially roommates), who make me laugh like hell and do stupid things and drink way more than is necessary to have a good time. Friends I work with, who are so fun and nice that I love hanging out with them outside of work even. Then there are my other stray friends I've met over the years. Friends from Spring Break. Friends from Barcelona (not Spanish friends really, just other kids in my program). Friends who used to be ex-boyfriends, and may or may not still have lingering feelings. Friends from college who I don't see all that often but I used to back in the day, and are always still fun when I do see them.
The problem with all this, though, is I don't like all my friends to mingle really. I mean I want them to, but I don't wanna have to be the one to facilitate all this. They are all very different in their own ways.. so maybe they wouldn't get along on their own, and I am really the only thing they have in common. But I don't understand how if I am friends with one, and friends with the other, then why can't the two of them be just as good of friends??
Anyways, its very frustrating, because I am at a point where I'm being a little selfish, and I do what I want and when I want to. And I am just trying to enjoy the hell out of life. So I don't wanna have to make sure all my different friends I bring are all getting along with each other.. I just wanna have fun and hope like hell everyone else has a good time too! Like Saucer nights are getting really big now, and granted sometimes there are just a couple of us, on Monday for instance there were like 10! Work friends, friends of those work friends, high school friends.. and I just have this feeling that its gonna keep growing and growing. And I don't wanna ever have to worry about if someone's bein' to quiet, or if I've gotta sit beside them, or if they have things to talk about with other people, etc. I just wanna drink and talk to whoever is near me at the moment, whether I just met them or have known them for years.
I don't know. I guess what I'm saying is that I wish everyone would just be as friendly and nice and talkative as they can possibly be. That's how I try to be when I meet new people.. I like to make a good first impression, and I like to make them feel comfortable, and I want them to know that I am interested in who they are and what they're about (even if sometimes really I'm not interested at all). But for the sake of avoiding awkward social situations, that's just what you do when you meet people! So I wish everyone had the same perspective. It's hard I know.. Guess I'll just see how it all plays out. I just don't want people to be mad at me for not talkin' to them enough or things like that. Ugh. Welp hopefully it all works out, I sure hope it does...
The problem with all this, though, is I don't like all my friends to mingle really. I mean I want them to, but I don't wanna have to be the one to facilitate all this. They are all very different in their own ways.. so maybe they wouldn't get along on their own, and I am really the only thing they have in common. But I don't understand how if I am friends with one, and friends with the other, then why can't the two of them be just as good of friends??
Anyways, its very frustrating, because I am at a point where I'm being a little selfish, and I do what I want and when I want to. And I am just trying to enjoy the hell out of life. So I don't wanna have to make sure all my different friends I bring are all getting along with each other.. I just wanna have fun and hope like hell everyone else has a good time too! Like Saucer nights are getting really big now, and granted sometimes there are just a couple of us, on Monday for instance there were like 10! Work friends, friends of those work friends, high school friends.. and I just have this feeling that its gonna keep growing and growing. And I don't wanna ever have to worry about if someone's bein' to quiet, or if I've gotta sit beside them, or if they have things to talk about with other people, etc. I just wanna drink and talk to whoever is near me at the moment, whether I just met them or have known them for years.
I don't know. I guess what I'm saying is that I wish everyone would just be as friendly and nice and talkative as they can possibly be. That's how I try to be when I meet new people.. I like to make a good first impression, and I like to make them feel comfortable, and I want them to know that I am interested in who they are and what they're about (even if sometimes really I'm not interested at all). But for the sake of avoiding awkward social situations, that's just what you do when you meet people! So I wish everyone had the same perspective. It's hard I know.. Guess I'll just see how it all plays out. I just don't want people to be mad at me for not talkin' to them enough or things like that. Ugh. Welp hopefully it all works out, I sure hope it does...