(no subject)
I have 3 papers due in the next 12 hours. Guess how many I've started?? Yep. Zero. Together they total about 12 pages.
I hate English with a passion. I love learning about literature but I don't understand why we have to write damn papers about them. Can't we just soak in the wonderful knowledge and maybe have quizzes or tests to make sure we are understanding the material? Seriously.
And on a random note, who the hell makes up songs about rain and chicken noodle soup and actually makes money off that shit?? It's like that "who let the dogs out" song. It's cool for like 2 days, if that, and then you are embarrassed that you even downloaded it. I could write better songs than that.
Mountain Weekend was fun. I don't remember much of Saturday, but I know I had a blast.. haha. Saturday night was rough. At some point in the night I was drinking and decided I had better stop because I might die. And it was a good decision in the end, because I ended up burning my foot. I vaguely remember putting my foot in the bonfire, and not realizing it until I looked down and there were flaming embers on my foot. So I swatted at them until they were gone, and then continued about my business of sitting around in a drunken stupor. Then, this guy came up to me, and he flipped out because he looked down and my foot was like completely black. It turned out to be just ash or something, because it wiped off easily, but my foot hurt so bad the rest of the night. It's fine now except for a few little scars where the embers were.. hahah. Anyway.. moral of the story.. If I hadn't stopped drinking when I did, maybe I would have completely fell into the fire, not just put my foot in there. And the funny part?? I found out yesterday that I put my feet into the fire because my toes were cold. (I was not wearing shoes in the mountains that night because there was a semi-formal.. for those of you who were wondering) It's really cool that drinking makes you not feel the pain, but I can't recall how many times I've burned myself in fires or with curling irons and not felt it until the next day.. haha
And everyone hooked up with everyone else's dates. It was the cool thing to do, apparently. So everyone else's favorite part of the weekend was when I was told that my date was hooking up with this ugly girl in the bathroom 5 feet from me. Supposedly I walked in on them and started bitching him out while they were scrambling to put their clothes on. Normally I wouldn't have minded, it was just the fact that she was ugly, and he was doing it without even being discreet.
I wish I could see myself mad. I mostly get mad when I'm drunk and I can't hide my emotions. Otherwise I'm not very confrontational at all. But hey.. the truth comes out when you're drunk.
The ride home was hilarious though. I was so mad at my date I didn't speak to him the rest of the night on Saturday, and for half of Sunday. And the other 2 people we rode with got in a fight and they weren't speaking either. The guy actually threw the girls clothes out on the porch or something, and took the mattress off her bed. He was reaaaally pissed off.. haha. So we expected that to be the most awkward ride home ever, but the second we got in the car, we all just laughed so hard at everything. It's was all really funny looking back on it.
There were just so many things that happened and so many funny stories and I'm really really glad that I went. I just wish I hadn't blacked out half of it. Haha.
I forgot how much I love the mountains. I can't remember how long it's been since I've gone, but it's been awhile. On Sunday we ended up taking the scenic route home, and it was literally the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Well, maybe. I say that about a lot of things. But it was so peaceful and amazing and I just wanted to remember it forever. You can look at pictures of mountains. But you can't actually experience the greatness of it all unless you are there. It's only when you're there, looking around you, that you feel it.
I used to think I preferred the beach to the mountains, but after this weekend, I'm not really sure. I could really see myself having a house in the mountains one day, if I could afford it. But it definitely makes me want to live somewhere that will make me smile walking out of my house everyday because it's so pretty.. Whether that means the mountains, the beach, the country, or the city.. I have yet to figure that part out.
I was watching the news the other day and they said that looking at your senior yearbook picture could determine how happy you would be later in life, based on your smile. I thought that was so interesting, and I suppose it's true. But not all of the time. There are some people that are just born happy, and see the beauty in life almost every day. And others who gradually become happy. As if they get old and wise and find the beauty in things that they didn't see before.
I hope that when I'm older I have a wrinkly face that is a happy wrinkly face.. haha. If that makes sense. You know, like when you see old people who just look happy even when they aren't smiling or showing it at all.. People you just look at and can tell that they lived a happy and fulfilling life. I wish that I didn't have shitty vision because it makes me squint and I'm already startig to get wrinkles from squinting. I want the other kind, the ones where your eyes look happy.. crow's feet I think?? Haha. I mean not that I want wrinkles at all right now.. I'm just saying.
I feel like yearbooks have become meaningless. The content of them isn't really meaningless, so much as the signing of them and all that other shit. I looked back on mine over the summer, and out of all of the things people wrote in mine, only one of them actually meant something, or had some sort of memory. All the rest were just "have a good summer, I loved having class with you, you're a great friend" fluff. There should be more things that make me cry or laugh or something. Because that stuff is real, and that's what matters in the end. And I can think of a million memories that make me laugh, but none of those people wrote about them. Also, none of my best friends ever signed. We always promised each other we would do it later, because we can do that anytime, but then we never did. And as much as I wish I had a record of how much I meant to them, I wish they knew how much they've meant to me. Because I never got a chance to let them know, either. And I think that is important. I think they know, but sometimes people need something solid, something written, so that they can remind themself.
I get mad sometimes because I think about how unfair life is. When my mom worked at the airline, she got these things called "Atta boy"s where people wrote in to say that she did a great job or whatever. My mom got tons of those. I forget her stats but they were literally so ridiculous.. She was great at what she did, and she made people happy, and they wrote in about her all the time. The airline didn't do a really good job of recognizing her for it, either. Anyway.. she found out that now the employees are put into a drawing for money every time they get one of those "Atta boy"s. One of her friends even won the other week. And it just sucks because my mom got like 10 times more than every other employee, but they didn't do that shit when she was there. It just isn't fair at all.
Is it karma? I mean, I'd like to think that my parents are wonderful people who do good, but is that a biased opinion because they're my parents? Or have they done something in their life to make them have to pay for it forever? I don't really know. I just wish I had some sort of explanation for why they always have to struggle.
And one of my best friend's apartment burned down the other week. She is seriously such an amazing person and if anyone is strong enough to get through that, it's her, but why does that have to happen to her of all people? I just don't understand. Life baffles my mind sometimes, how unfair it is.
I wish that I could fast forward to my life in 30 years and see where I'll be and what I'll be doing. But then I stop myself, because really, that would spoil the fun. Like say I fast forward and discover that I'm a 50 year old crack whore.. Then I would probably just give up now and quit school or something. But then again if I discovered that I would be a millionaire, I'd still probably quit school. So really it's just better this way, I suppose.. Not knowing, I mean. Because school is good. Just not fucking English class.
Unfortunately for me, my loser sorority sisters (just kidding!!) have "stumbled" upon my livejournal, thanks to a certain CHARLOTTE CARROLL. They are now quoting lines from it in their away messages and bringing it up in conversation whenever possible. They even have parties in their rooms where they get together and read it for a long time and then come tell me to update. Haha. I haven't quite figured out if they really like it or if they are making fun of me for having an "online diary". Probably a little of both.
I guess it is pretty funny though. But it keeps me going. And it's me. My thoughts and feelings. So part of me is glad that they finally found it, because now they probably know me better than they ever could have. And what if I do this forever? Then my kids could read it (not until after they're older.. I wouldn't want them to get any bad ideas.. haha). I wish I could look back and see what my grandma was like when she was my age and what she thought about every day.. That would be cool. But in all seriousness, I wish more people had one of these. It makes it a lot easier to stay caught up on people's lives.
OK I have to go start my papers. Goodnight everyone.
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kelly a. scott
I hate English with a passion. I love learning about literature but I don't understand why we have to write damn papers about them. Can't we just soak in the wonderful knowledge and maybe have quizzes or tests to make sure we are understanding the material? Seriously.
And on a random note, who the hell makes up songs about rain and chicken noodle soup and actually makes money off that shit?? It's like that "who let the dogs out" song. It's cool for like 2 days, if that, and then you are embarrassed that you even downloaded it. I could write better songs than that.
Mountain Weekend was fun. I don't remember much of Saturday, but I know I had a blast.. haha. Saturday night was rough. At some point in the night I was drinking and decided I had better stop because I might die. And it was a good decision in the end, because I ended up burning my foot. I vaguely remember putting my foot in the bonfire, and not realizing it until I looked down and there were flaming embers on my foot. So I swatted at them until they were gone, and then continued about my business of sitting around in a drunken stupor. Then, this guy came up to me, and he flipped out because he looked down and my foot was like completely black. It turned out to be just ash or something, because it wiped off easily, but my foot hurt so bad the rest of the night. It's fine now except for a few little scars where the embers were.. hahah. Anyway.. moral of the story.. If I hadn't stopped drinking when I did, maybe I would have completely fell into the fire, not just put my foot in there. And the funny part?? I found out yesterday that I put my feet into the fire because my toes were cold. (I was not wearing shoes in the mountains that night because there was a semi-formal.. for those of you who were wondering) It's really cool that drinking makes you not feel the pain, but I can't recall how many times I've burned myself in fires or with curling irons and not felt it until the next day.. haha
And everyone hooked up with everyone else's dates. It was the cool thing to do, apparently. So everyone else's favorite part of the weekend was when I was told that my date was hooking up with this ugly girl in the bathroom 5 feet from me. Supposedly I walked in on them and started bitching him out while they were scrambling to put their clothes on. Normally I wouldn't have minded, it was just the fact that she was ugly, and he was doing it without even being discreet.
I wish I could see myself mad. I mostly get mad when I'm drunk and I can't hide my emotions. Otherwise I'm not very confrontational at all. But hey.. the truth comes out when you're drunk.
The ride home was hilarious though. I was so mad at my date I didn't speak to him the rest of the night on Saturday, and for half of Sunday. And the other 2 people we rode with got in a fight and they weren't speaking either. The guy actually threw the girls clothes out on the porch or something, and took the mattress off her bed. He was reaaaally pissed off.. haha. So we expected that to be the most awkward ride home ever, but the second we got in the car, we all just laughed so hard at everything. It's was all really funny looking back on it.
There were just so many things that happened and so many funny stories and I'm really really glad that I went. I just wish I hadn't blacked out half of it. Haha.
I forgot how much I love the mountains. I can't remember how long it's been since I've gone, but it's been awhile. On Sunday we ended up taking the scenic route home, and it was literally the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Well, maybe. I say that about a lot of things. But it was so peaceful and amazing and I just wanted to remember it forever. You can look at pictures of mountains. But you can't actually experience the greatness of it all unless you are there. It's only when you're there, looking around you, that you feel it.
I used to think I preferred the beach to the mountains, but after this weekend, I'm not really sure. I could really see myself having a house in the mountains one day, if I could afford it. But it definitely makes me want to live somewhere that will make me smile walking out of my house everyday because it's so pretty.. Whether that means the mountains, the beach, the country, or the city.. I have yet to figure that part out.
I was watching the news the other day and they said that looking at your senior yearbook picture could determine how happy you would be later in life, based on your smile. I thought that was so interesting, and I suppose it's true. But not all of the time. There are some people that are just born happy, and see the beauty in life almost every day. And others who gradually become happy. As if they get old and wise and find the beauty in things that they didn't see before.
I hope that when I'm older I have a wrinkly face that is a happy wrinkly face.. haha. If that makes sense. You know, like when you see old people who just look happy even when they aren't smiling or showing it at all.. People you just look at and can tell that they lived a happy and fulfilling life. I wish that I didn't have shitty vision because it makes me squint and I'm already startig to get wrinkles from squinting. I want the other kind, the ones where your eyes look happy.. crow's feet I think?? Haha. I mean not that I want wrinkles at all right now.. I'm just saying.
I feel like yearbooks have become meaningless. The content of them isn't really meaningless, so much as the signing of them and all that other shit. I looked back on mine over the summer, and out of all of the things people wrote in mine, only one of them actually meant something, or had some sort of memory. All the rest were just "have a good summer, I loved having class with you, you're a great friend" fluff. There should be more things that make me cry or laugh or something. Because that stuff is real, and that's what matters in the end. And I can think of a million memories that make me laugh, but none of those people wrote about them. Also, none of my best friends ever signed. We always promised each other we would do it later, because we can do that anytime, but then we never did. And as much as I wish I had a record of how much I meant to them, I wish they knew how much they've meant to me. Because I never got a chance to let them know, either. And I think that is important. I think they know, but sometimes people need something solid, something written, so that they can remind themself.
I get mad sometimes because I think about how unfair life is. When my mom worked at the airline, she got these things called "Atta boy"s where people wrote in to say that she did a great job or whatever. My mom got tons of those. I forget her stats but they were literally so ridiculous.. She was great at what she did, and she made people happy, and they wrote in about her all the time. The airline didn't do a really good job of recognizing her for it, either. Anyway.. she found out that now the employees are put into a drawing for money every time they get one of those "Atta boy"s. One of her friends even won the other week. And it just sucks because my mom got like 10 times more than every other employee, but they didn't do that shit when she was there. It just isn't fair at all.
Is it karma? I mean, I'd like to think that my parents are wonderful people who do good, but is that a biased opinion because they're my parents? Or have they done something in their life to make them have to pay for it forever? I don't really know. I just wish I had some sort of explanation for why they always have to struggle.
And one of my best friend's apartment burned down the other week. She is seriously such an amazing person and if anyone is strong enough to get through that, it's her, but why does that have to happen to her of all people? I just don't understand. Life baffles my mind sometimes, how unfair it is.
I wish that I could fast forward to my life in 30 years and see where I'll be and what I'll be doing. But then I stop myself, because really, that would spoil the fun. Like say I fast forward and discover that I'm a 50 year old crack whore.. Then I would probably just give up now and quit school or something. But then again if I discovered that I would be a millionaire, I'd still probably quit school. So really it's just better this way, I suppose.. Not knowing, I mean. Because school is good. Just not fucking English class.
Unfortunately for me, my loser sorority sisters (just kidding!!) have "stumbled" upon my livejournal, thanks to a certain CHARLOTTE CARROLL. They are now quoting lines from it in their away messages and bringing it up in conversation whenever possible. They even have parties in their rooms where they get together and read it for a long time and then come tell me to update. Haha. I haven't quite figured out if they really like it or if they are making fun of me for having an "online diary". Probably a little of both.
I guess it is pretty funny though. But it keeps me going. And it's me. My thoughts and feelings. So part of me is glad that they finally found it, because now they probably know me better than they ever could have. And what if I do this forever? Then my kids could read it (not until after they're older.. I wouldn't want them to get any bad ideas.. haha). I wish I could look back and see what my grandma was like when she was my age and what she thought about every day.. That would be cool. But in all seriousness, I wish more people had one of these. It makes it a lot easier to stay caught up on people's lives.
OK I have to go start my papers. Goodnight everyone.
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kelly a. scott