once an hour

[loveinaelevator]

i don't care that i've written my heart out ten times today, it still burns. i just want to fly away from it all, spread my broken wings and get away from this. i'd go across the ocean and land on my own island with a broken cd player and half-dead batteries, and live as long as it lasted. then i could take my abandoned raft to familiar places with blood-familiar faces. i hate being alive anymore, surrounded by deep blues and blacks, shadows and tear drops in the black swamps we dip our feet in blindly. and i'm always wondering where you are. darling shouldn't i be the one wondering, after all i'm the one, who is gone, who is gone. i'm always wondering, i was just wondering. i'd be in eutopia if my mind was lost and i couldn't see straight, if my heart and feelings and cravings and conscience went for a vacation and didn't invite me, if i were alone on a seaside cliff with wind pushing against my sunlit face, right as the golden age kisses the endless deep blue.

i guess i could just need sleep.