late but not tried
WHEN I TRY TO CLOSE MY EYES ALL I SEE IS HIM THAT IS THE ONLY PLACE I CAN SEE HIM. I SLEEP MOST OF THE DAY BECAUSE OF THAT. I WOULD LOVE TO HOLD HIM IN MY ARMS FOR EVER AND NEVER LET HIM GO. I DON'T WANT TO LOSE HIM NOT AT ALL I REALLY MISS HIM AND I KNOW HE JUST WANTS TO BE FRIENDS BUT STILL I WANT MORE THEN THAT I REALLY DO BUT I RATHER HAVE HIM AS THAT THEN NOT HAVE HIM IN MY LIFE AT ALL YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN I AM WORRIED ABOUT HIM I GUESS I WILL ALWAYS BE WORRIED ABOUT HIM JUST BECAUSE TO ME HE IS MY BABY AND ALWAYS WILL BE AND NO ONE CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT THAT. I CONSIDER HIM MY FIRST LOVE CAUSE THE ONE BEFORE THAT WAS HORRBLE BUT I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ESLE BUT THAT UNTIL I CAME HERE AND MEANT CHRIS HE HAS CHANGED SO MUCH ABOUT ME AND I DON'T WANT TO GET BACK INTO DRUGS BUT I ALWAYS DON'T WANT TO FEEL THIS PAIN ANYMORE WITH DRUGS I DON'T HAVE TO FEEL ANYTHING. AND THAT IS WHAT I WANT I DON'T WANT TO CRY ANYMORE I JUST WANT HIM BACK AND IF I CAN'T HAVE THAT THEN I HAVE NOTHING IN THIS WROLD AND I GUESS NO ONE REALLY KNOW THAT ABOUT ME. WELL IF PEOPLE ARE WORRYING WHY I DON'T EAT IT IS BECAUSE FOOD IS NOTHING TO ME I DON'T SEE THE REASON FOR IT YEA SO WHAT IT KEEPS US ALIVE BUT WHAT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE ALIVE RIGHT KNOW SEE I AM GOING BACK TO WHERE I WAS BEFORE I MEANT HIM. I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO MY FRIENDS AND THAT LIFE I AM TALKING ABOUT THE DRUGS AND DRINKING TO WHERE I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING NOT EVEN THE TOUCH OF A KNIFE I DON'T WANT TO FEEL ANYTHING I WANT IT TO ALL GO AWAY I WANT TO BE HAPPY AGAIN I WANT TO FEEL SPECIAL LIKE SOMONE LOVES ME BUT I DON'T HAVE THAT ANYMORE I HAVE NOTHING WELL THAT IS WHAT IS PLAYING IN MY HEAD I AM A LOSER AND I AM GOING TO DIE ALONE IN THIS WORLD BECAUSE I AM TO UGLE FOR ANYONE TO LOVE ME I HAVE NOTHING AND ALOT OF GIRLS HAVE EVERYTHING THAT A GUY IS LOOKING FOR AND I AM NOT THAT I GUESS BUT IT IS OK I LOOK AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR ALL I SEE IS SOMEONE UGLE AND GROSS LOOKING I DON'T SEE ANYTHING BUT THAT I USE TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SEE THIS PRETTY GIRL BECAUSE THAT IS HOW HE MADE FEEL THESE TEARS FROM MY EYES WON'T STOP THEY COME DOWN LIKE RAIN AND I CAN'T STOP THEM THEY JUST KEEP COMING PRETTY SOON I WILL BE STANDING IN A PUDDLE DEEP ENOUGH FOR ME TO DROWN I'M NOT SCARED ANYMORE BECAUSE I AM DEAD INSIDE BUT I AM GOING TO TRY TO GO TO SLEEP LOVE EVERYONE AND I AM OUT