A little unsure of what to think
What else is new? I'm not sure what to think about anything with Joe. I know that he isn't pushing the idea of a relationship completely out of thought, but also he isn't sure he wants to put up with it. Apparently he is really busy with stuff on the weekends with work and then hunting, but hunting will only last until right before Christmas or so. Eventually he will end up back in Aurora working for CAT. He wants to buy a house there and when he described the house he wants three bedrooms for when he has kids. This tells me that he is getting ready to settle down, maybe not quite yet, but soon within the next couple years or so. I want to be the one he choses to settle down with, but I don't know that he feels the same about me. He continually states that all he thinks about is sex with me and not much else. That probably isn't a good sign, but I feel there is more to it than what he is telling me...in a good way. He could be stringing me along punishing me for breaking up with him and he could be deciding whether or not he wants to put up with me. When we first started talking, he mentioned stopping by my apartment on Sunday (today), but I haven't talked to him since Friday morning. He had an audit to conduct for suppliers for CAT and said he thought he'd be able to swing by on Sunday when he was done. I'm not sure if he just forgot his phone at work, which he has done before, or maybe he is testing me to see if I get upset and angry with him. He could also be using this silence as a surprise...he thinks that I will assume he isn't coming and then he show up. Either way I am ready for him. My apartment is clean and I have something in the crock pot in case he does come. If he doens't that's fine, I have a clean apartment and food to take to work for the rest of the week. I hope he calls me tonight or tomorrow if he did leave his phone. He may not tonight if he doesn't go back to work, and so if he really did leave it at work, I probably won't hear from him until Monday. I wish so much that things could go back to the way they were...or better yet back to how it was on my birthday! He used an interesting choice of words to ask if "the feelings we had were because of my birthday or because we were still in love with each other". It's almost as though he IS still in love with me but fails to do something about it. I guess he is trying to figure that out. In the meantime I am stuck waiting around for him to finally make up his mind. I doubt he is coming to see me tonight. I think he would have already been here if that were the case. Oh well. It's probably best not to rush anything and to talk some more with him...which by the way on Thursday he called me and we talked for an hour and a half. So i don't think he is upset with me about anything, but we'll see.