Depressed, Confused & Lost.....
Things haven't been so smooth between my boyfriend & myself recently & I think It's not only his stress / depression that's getting the better of him. I think it has to do a lot with his best friend of two years & myself. It's really a long story so I'll try to keep it short.
What happened was this, my bf told her about me, he was so excited to ( Read more... )
How do you picture your future with these women in it? Let me tell you what will happen:
Engagement - Ruined by drama
Pre-Wedding festivities - Ruined by Drama
Wedding - Ruined by DRAMA
Announcing Pregnancy - Ruined by DRAMA
Any celebration of any milestone - Ruined by DRAMA
These women do not like you because you take his attention away from them. They think you usurped Bestie's place in your BF's life. They are treating you like the other woman, because in their mind you are. They want to get you out of his life so Bestie can take her "rightful place". Sounds crazy right? Because it is. The good news is that it is nothing personal, they would have done this to any woman he dared show interest in. The bad news for you is that they have had years to learn how to push his buttons, and you as the "new kid on the block" have an upward battle ahead of you. Decide if you are willing to fight that battle, then remember there is a good chance you might lose it anyway.
Unless:
You get into couples counseling right now. You should probably have a male counselor, who has experience with substance abuse, and believes in "leave and cleave" which is a doctrine that prioritizes the relationship between significant others above other relationships. I say this because, such counselors are used to the type of emotional manipulation and pressure these women are bringing to bear. You should also pick up a few self help books to read. "Emotional Vampires" is a good one, so is "Toxic Inlaws" and "Boundaries".
In the meantime you need to drop the rope with these bitches, and fast. From here on out you DO NOT ENGAGE! Block them on FB and other social media, block their numbers from your phone, send all their emails to a special folder marked "crazy" and forget it exists. If you have to, just check it once in a blue moon to make sure that their crazy is not ramping up.
Speaking of email. Backup the emails back and forth with them to another account, print out a couple of copies and store them in different places. Continue to add any future emails to the stored ones. That will be your proof that the escalation was all on them if you need it for anything official, such as an RO or a court case.
(No, I am not trying to scare you I have just seen this type of crazy before.)
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The thing about these two girls, is that I can't drop them without having to sacrifice more then what I believe I should. Here's an example & I can see it playing out this way. His birthday is coming up in April & we plan on going to Atlantic City which is passing by Absecon, NJ where they live. I'm sure, now that they are back in his life, that they are going to want to see him / spend time with him too. So there are only a handful of ways to deal with this. We two go down, then he comes back, drops me off only to go back down to be with them. Or He comes back a few days later goes back down to be with them. Either way it's a waste of time, money & gas & it's highly unfair. It's unfair to him especially Because he has to wear himself thin because they are childish.
I have sent her two emails since they "reunited" and she hasn't answered one. In fact, he confronted me & asked me to tell him the truth about what I said, if I felt threatened, etc. Then he went on to say that even their mother said I had sent her a nasty email nearly everyday in Nov which isn't true. Now out of curiosity I checked my fb to see if I had these emails still, but I thought once they were gone I deleted them.... I didn't. I have every single one. & if you have a facebook, then you know that, in the long line of messages, you can't delete certain ones out of that stream without deleting the whole thing. I re-read them & I don't see where I could have been nasty or what not except for one part at the end when emphasized me being his gf. Even then, I have a right too since I am. I was hoping that you could, as well as everyone else, could read them & give me their opinion as to whether or not I've was cruel. It starts with the last conversation we had before things went down hill & ends with the two emails I sent her just recently (2mos later)
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