food for thought
It's 3.18am and I'm having cream of mushroom for supper (thank you Campbells and Warhol, the man who immortalised Campbells in art) and I'm just thinking of the conversation I had with the boy on the phone earlier. Well, one of the conversations.
Our relationship is relatively young and volatile, due to both our emotional natures and our personalities are complete opposites. He's so serious, and..old, and responsible. And sensible. And always thinking about the future. Whereas I'm more impulsive and I hate planning. He hates spending unnecessary money and hardly ever spends on himself. Fashion? Blah. Whereas I just..spend. Finances? What's that?! But yeah, in the oddest of circumstances, God brought us together. Of that, I'm sure. No, I'm most sure.
So he was telling me about his earlier conversation with his dad about marriage. His dad said that when you really love someone, you die to yourself and you're willing to die for the other person. Sounds familiar? And then he asked if I'd die for him. The answer caught both of us by surprise, I think. Without even thinking, without even the slightest hint of doubt, an extremely certain "yes" escaped from me. Then he asked if i'll ever give up shopping for him. As in, if I'll ever give up shopping. SHOPPING. The one thing in the world that I quite possibly enjoy the most. Except when I'm in the red, of course. Shopping, my emotional crutch. And I said "yes" again.
Yes. Such a simple word. Yet, so scary. The weight of the commitment that comes with every "yes" we utter sometimes fails to register within us before we say it. But thinking about it, I don't regret it. I'm not afraid of the commitment that came with the "yes". I know the things I'd do for him. If he has to transfer back to Curtin Singapore to be with his family, I will give up my fabulous life in Perth. If he some day has to relocate to the ends of the earth, I'll relocate without a doubt.
It's so scary to be 20 and have such strong feelings for someone else. To be so sure that he is The One that God meant for you. To know that somehow, you can never leave him because you need him as much as he needs you. Yet to know that you both bring out the best in each other and your strengths and weaknesses complement perfectly. To know that together, you both serve God in a way that you cannot alone. It's scary yet I'm in complete awe because I know that God did this. He planned all these. And it just catches me by surprise each time how perfect God is. In every way.
Our relationship is relatively young and volatile, due to both our emotional natures and our personalities are complete opposites. He's so serious, and..old, and responsible. And sensible. And always thinking about the future. Whereas I'm more impulsive and I hate planning. He hates spending unnecessary money and hardly ever spends on himself. Fashion? Blah. Whereas I just..spend. Finances? What's that?! But yeah, in the oddest of circumstances, God brought us together. Of that, I'm sure. No, I'm most sure.
So he was telling me about his earlier conversation with his dad about marriage. His dad said that when you really love someone, you die to yourself and you're willing to die for the other person. Sounds familiar? And then he asked if I'd die for him. The answer caught both of us by surprise, I think. Without even thinking, without even the slightest hint of doubt, an extremely certain "yes" escaped from me. Then he asked if i'll ever give up shopping for him. As in, if I'll ever give up shopping. SHOPPING. The one thing in the world that I quite possibly enjoy the most. Except when I'm in the red, of course. Shopping, my emotional crutch. And I said "yes" again.
Yes. Such a simple word. Yet, so scary. The weight of the commitment that comes with every "yes" we utter sometimes fails to register within us before we say it. But thinking about it, I don't regret it. I'm not afraid of the commitment that came with the "yes". I know the things I'd do for him. If he has to transfer back to Curtin Singapore to be with his family, I will give up my fabulous life in Perth. If he some day has to relocate to the ends of the earth, I'll relocate without a doubt.
It's so scary to be 20 and have such strong feelings for someone else. To be so sure that he is The One that God meant for you. To know that somehow, you can never leave him because you need him as much as he needs you. Yet to know that you both bring out the best in each other and your strengths and weaknesses complement perfectly. To know that together, you both serve God in a way that you cannot alone. It's scary yet I'm in complete awe because I know that God did this. He planned all these. And it just catches me by surprise each time how perfect God is. In every way.