Dreams
So I wanted to write about two dreams I had.
I had one a couple nights ago where me, my friend Steff, and my friend Maura all would meet in the evening some days and play this one video game at an arcade. It was like you were this cute round character and you had to zap these colored blocks that came down in rows from top to bottom, and you had to try to get them in like 3+ blocks of the same color. You had like items you could get to change the color of the blocks if you needed to or just zap a whole row if they were building up. It was kind like tetris and pong and kirbie all put together. Anyway, I was really bad at it, I could never remember the controls and I kept forgetting how many blocks needed to be the same color, people either weren't complete enough in their explanations to me, like they'd get distracted halfway through and forget to finish telling me the game, or no one ever did tell me, or something like that. But regardless, it was always the three of us night after night. Maura or Steff or both of them kept paying for me too, even if I had money. It'd go like this:
Maura: "I got this one, it's ok ;)"
Me: "But look, see? I have plenty of money for this now." *shows wallet*
Maura: "No seriously, I insist. You always do ___ for us so this is what I can do for you. We're just helping each other out in the ways we best can, it's a good balance!"
Me: "....ok, I suppose you're right..."
But I don't know exactly what the ___ was that I did for everyone!
There were a couple times when I was going to stay at Maura's house (we were like in New York or something, but the subway system reminded me of the one in Pusan, S. Korea. Everything is really not that far apart from each other, and there are only a few different color-coded trains, but they're all subways. One time I just got lost (back to the dream) and decided to go to Maura's station. I was going strictly by memory of some random conversations but managed to get off at the right stop. I recognized the scenery from the station exit from a photo she had showed me in the past (also not in reality) and tried to locate her house that way. Just then I saw Maura coming up to the station entrance/exit as I was walking out, and she was like kind of drunk. She said she'd been out all night partying with Miyavi whom she'd run into on a beach. She said they had some really great personal conversations and just had a really good time. But I knew there was a lie in there somewhere, like something about the story was just obviously a lie, and I felt bad for her mom who was expecting her to be home.
That part of the dream was really weird, because it was a Maura who I've never ever seen before or experienced at all. It was a weird subconscoius portrayal of her in a way I'd never expect!
There was another time later on when she did it again, but she was just partying, hoping to run into Miyavi again, having not at the end of the night. This time I ran into her Mom instead, who is an awesome mom both in the dream and in reality, I might add, and is always supportive and nurturing to Maura and even ME sometimes! In the dream, she was a little disappointed with Maura and was like shaking her head like "I don't know...she does whatever she wants and usually that's no problem but lately she's been lying about where she is and what she's doing and I'm a little worried about her..." and I just like nodded sympathetically not knowing what to say.
At the end of the dream we all met up for another round of this game thing, Steff, Maura and I. I had to go into some other room for some reason, like I was being called. In the room was a TINY tiny little white rat, the size of a grain of rice, and I was like talking to God or something, and the voice was telling me to help it grow. I was helping it but and in the very beginning it liked what I was doing, but it got to this wicker basket, and started weaving itself through the threads, and it was good at first and the rat grew, but I realized that the rat wouldn't MOVE ON. It just kept going through the basket over and over and over and over again. I tried to get it to leave the basket but it just got angry at me and went back to the basket with even more persistence. God said to me that I needed to have patience and let the rat go through it's own course. That I may be someone who does not get so easily addicted to things but other people do and can and will get addicted. But it's not a bad thing, nothing is. I need to be patience and observe because even in addiction, there is growth that is happening, even if it is very slow and small, and eventually yes, the people will get out of their addictions. In the dream, the word "addiction" and "obsession" had the same meaning and I'm not really sure which word was being used. I watched and sort of did a time-lapse observation and indeed the rat did keep growing. It was much slower than the progress it had been making previously, than the progress it could've continued to make had it not been stuck in this basket, but it was still growing. Like it would hit a revalation and grow in a spurt, and then grow very slowly and steadily for a while and hit another spurt. The more it grew, the less it could fit into the weaves of the basket.
First the weaving action was a novel amazing trick to the rat, and then it was an obsession, like THAT WAS LIFE!! Then after that wore off, it was routine, but like a natural kind of routine that brought the rat happiness and calm and helped it reflect upon life as a cycle or flow. Then it left the basket and just got really fast and ambitious and I couldn't keep track of it becaues Maura and Steff were calling me back. God was like "never mind the rat now, it'll grow up and be a rat on its own." and I was like "but it ran into the couch! it's so tiny it could be killed!" and I just got the feeling that even if it did, it wasn't my fault and it was fated to be because the rat chose to be in the couch and not grow. I had to leave the rat be. So I went back to the game, sucked at it, Maura was drinking again, paid for me, same old same old.
yeah, weird dream.
Then I had another one with some of the same members the night after that.
I dreamed that Mimu and I were in a school, like a high school or college, in Japan. We were sitting in the classroom and Maura and Steff and a group of other kids came in - they were late because they had just come back from Miyavi's tour. The teacher knew this and was ok with it - it was a really relaxed class not like one with homework and tests and stuff. Like a group communication class or something really cool. Maura sat in the desk in front of mine and Steff was leaning on the desk diagonal from me or stood in the aisle or something. They were talking to me about the tour and while I was listening I could experience it with them. (Lately my dreams have been like that - if I have a thought about something in the dream, I immediately see it or have the experience, even if it's totally unrelated, and then I go back to the rest of the dream). I heard this one really heavy emotionally charged song that Miyavi was singing and vaguely recognized it. Maura got all emo and teary-eyed as we were like hearing the song somehow, and was like "yeah man, heavy stuff! that song gets me every time.." and I was like "yeah...." and then thought for a moment, and laughed. Maura gave me a confused look, and then was distracted becuase someone called her name or something and she turned her back to talk to them. Steff looked at me and asked me why I laughed. I chuckled and shook my head and said it was nothing.
She said "No really, what was funny about that?"
I said, "Well, it is a really deep sad emotional song, and when I hear it, if I really get into the lyrics and mood of it, I tear up as well. But it only really genuinely happens for the first time, or at most the first 3 times. But you guys all go to every single show on tour, that's like 15 shows or so, almost all one night after another. And especially Maura and her Comiyavi friends in Japan, they go several times a year even! Not to mention listening to it on their mp3 players or computers at home or during the day.. Like they have to somehow entrance themselves into producing that same emotion or squirting out tears. Either so they can have that experience again, or to show Miyavi that they sympathize with him, or I don't know. But they all do this, even Miyavi who plays and hears the song more than anyone else, all knowing inside that they're forcing this emotion out, and all knowing that each other knows this, and that the real emotion everyone is feeling is one of joy and excitement. It's not like it's bad or anything, it's just kind of funny if you think about it. Like I couldn't keep faking it for that long, I'd just start laughing in the audience and people'd alienate me for not sympathizing enough with Miyavi who he himself isn't even tormented like that at the moment. Like I'd be chasticized in everyone's minds for actually being honest with my emotions in that moment. It's just funny.."
Steff chuckled and she said "yeah I know what you mean, but for many of us who don't go to shows that often, it's a really magical experience and we do actually get shocked into crying, either because we feel the song that much, or because everyone else is and it's just a big ball of crying."
I said "Yeah, true. That's probably why I don't like going to shows as much."
Then we went on to talking about Miyavi and the concert, and yeah once again it was like, if we'd talk about him suddenly he'd sort of be there, like a hologram or maybe the real thing, I don't know. The three of us were so into our conversation and experience that we didn't notice our class ending and the next one filling up. Suddenly the teacher of the next class cleared his throat and broke our spells and we quickly gathered our things and left embarrassed. I apologized in Japanese and left. The next class were all adults, though, it was kind of weird.
We went our separate ways and I met up with my dad and my brother for some odd reason. We had this like barbeque outside and I kept trying to make cookies and cheesecake in an easy way on this like portable stove-top. So basically triyng to make cookies and cheesecake in a frying pan! Needless to say, it didn't work out so well. The cookies turned out ok but I didn't actually eat any of them. I was about to try the cheesecake, which looked really good, but my dad came up and said that some kiosk in the park was selling used books for cheap and there were some really good ones. Because I was thinking about books, the cheesecake in my hand turned into a book just as I was about to bite into it. So I ate this cheesecake flavored book, and spit it out like "wtf?" I tried to eat it again but it was now even more a book and not a cheesecake. So I gave up.
I then went and met Mimu as we were going to leave the school and the dream. There were like TONS AND TONS AND TONS of people, almost all Japanese high schoolers, and it was really hard to move or get anywhere. Finally we got outside of the school building and we kind of lost sight of each other. I was distracted by this really strange game of basketball that was going on just outside of the school. The hoops were low and really wide, and the teammates would lift their fellow teammate up, who had the baskeball, and they'd try to get the teammate AND the ball into the hoop. Sometimes just the ball would go in, and the teammate would be hanging onto the rim, that seemed to work to get some extra points. But getting the teammate and the ball in at once was like the most points you could get in the game. One of the players spotted me, and they all being Japanese, she noticed I was white and said in really bad English "I AMU FUROM AMERIKAAAA!!" I just turned and walked away.
Trying ot get away frantically, I noticed this really pretty blue painted grass, and in that grass were really pretty blue stones. They looked like they had just been accidentally painted but I looked closer and they were lapis lazuli! So I squatted down to see them and another Japanese high school boy walked by me and picked up a rock, making fun of me, making faces like "ooh look at this stupid colored rock, I'm a stupid foreigner haha". I turned around and ran away but right behind me was a whole pile of different colored rocks!
There was a pile of dark blue rocks right where I had turned around, and a pile of red across from that, and yellow beside that, and something else, and light blue to my immediate left, where Mimu just happened to be sitting! Someone else was sitting in front of each other colored stone pile, and suddenly I had this thought "Yeah, that's why Mimu and I get along so well, because we're both blue energies but mine is deep and dark and spiritual and his is lightweight gentle and childlike!"
Then we all connected somehow, either touching shoulders or elbows or holding hands or something, maybe not even physically touching but somehow, me and 6 other people sitting in front of these colored rocks, were all connected in a circle. I could feel us all try to spin our energies. I tried to get it to move one way but I realized that the natural flow was going the other way. At the same time, everyone else noticed this and we all went along with the flow, and our energies went spinning into a blur of light and color. Then, Mimu and I woke up!! LIKE FOR REAL!!
It was cool, haha!
Ok that's it.
I had one a couple nights ago where me, my friend Steff, and my friend Maura all would meet in the evening some days and play this one video game at an arcade. It was like you were this cute round character and you had to zap these colored blocks that came down in rows from top to bottom, and you had to try to get them in like 3+ blocks of the same color. You had like items you could get to change the color of the blocks if you needed to or just zap a whole row if they were building up. It was kind like tetris and pong and kirbie all put together. Anyway, I was really bad at it, I could never remember the controls and I kept forgetting how many blocks needed to be the same color, people either weren't complete enough in their explanations to me, like they'd get distracted halfway through and forget to finish telling me the game, or no one ever did tell me, or something like that. But regardless, it was always the three of us night after night. Maura or Steff or both of them kept paying for me too, even if I had money. It'd go like this:
Maura: "I got this one, it's ok ;)"
Me: "But look, see? I have plenty of money for this now." *shows wallet*
Maura: "No seriously, I insist. You always do ___ for us so this is what I can do for you. We're just helping each other out in the ways we best can, it's a good balance!"
Me: "....ok, I suppose you're right..."
But I don't know exactly what the ___ was that I did for everyone!
There were a couple times when I was going to stay at Maura's house (we were like in New York or something, but the subway system reminded me of the one in Pusan, S. Korea. Everything is really not that far apart from each other, and there are only a few different color-coded trains, but they're all subways. One time I just got lost (back to the dream) and decided to go to Maura's station. I was going strictly by memory of some random conversations but managed to get off at the right stop. I recognized the scenery from the station exit from a photo she had showed me in the past (also not in reality) and tried to locate her house that way. Just then I saw Maura coming up to the station entrance/exit as I was walking out, and she was like kind of drunk. She said she'd been out all night partying with Miyavi whom she'd run into on a beach. She said they had some really great personal conversations and just had a really good time. But I knew there was a lie in there somewhere, like something about the story was just obviously a lie, and I felt bad for her mom who was expecting her to be home.
That part of the dream was really weird, because it was a Maura who I've never ever seen before or experienced at all. It was a weird subconscoius portrayal of her in a way I'd never expect!
There was another time later on when she did it again, but she was just partying, hoping to run into Miyavi again, having not at the end of the night. This time I ran into her Mom instead, who is an awesome mom both in the dream and in reality, I might add, and is always supportive and nurturing to Maura and even ME sometimes! In the dream, she was a little disappointed with Maura and was like shaking her head like "I don't know...she does whatever she wants and usually that's no problem but lately she's been lying about where she is and what she's doing and I'm a little worried about her..." and I just like nodded sympathetically not knowing what to say.
At the end of the dream we all met up for another round of this game thing, Steff, Maura and I. I had to go into some other room for some reason, like I was being called. In the room was a TINY tiny little white rat, the size of a grain of rice, and I was like talking to God or something, and the voice was telling me to help it grow. I was helping it but and in the very beginning it liked what I was doing, but it got to this wicker basket, and started weaving itself through the threads, and it was good at first and the rat grew, but I realized that the rat wouldn't MOVE ON. It just kept going through the basket over and over and over and over again. I tried to get it to leave the basket but it just got angry at me and went back to the basket with even more persistence. God said to me that I needed to have patience and let the rat go through it's own course. That I may be someone who does not get so easily addicted to things but other people do and can and will get addicted. But it's not a bad thing, nothing is. I need to be patience and observe because even in addiction, there is growth that is happening, even if it is very slow and small, and eventually yes, the people will get out of their addictions. In the dream, the word "addiction" and "obsession" had the same meaning and I'm not really sure which word was being used. I watched and sort of did a time-lapse observation and indeed the rat did keep growing. It was much slower than the progress it had been making previously, than the progress it could've continued to make had it not been stuck in this basket, but it was still growing. Like it would hit a revalation and grow in a spurt, and then grow very slowly and steadily for a while and hit another spurt. The more it grew, the less it could fit into the weaves of the basket.
First the weaving action was a novel amazing trick to the rat, and then it was an obsession, like THAT WAS LIFE!! Then after that wore off, it was routine, but like a natural kind of routine that brought the rat happiness and calm and helped it reflect upon life as a cycle or flow. Then it left the basket and just got really fast and ambitious and I couldn't keep track of it becaues Maura and Steff were calling me back. God was like "never mind the rat now, it'll grow up and be a rat on its own." and I was like "but it ran into the couch! it's so tiny it could be killed!" and I just got the feeling that even if it did, it wasn't my fault and it was fated to be because the rat chose to be in the couch and not grow. I had to leave the rat be. So I went back to the game, sucked at it, Maura was drinking again, paid for me, same old same old.
yeah, weird dream.
Then I had another one with some of the same members the night after that.
I dreamed that Mimu and I were in a school, like a high school or college, in Japan. We were sitting in the classroom and Maura and Steff and a group of other kids came in - they were late because they had just come back from Miyavi's tour. The teacher knew this and was ok with it - it was a really relaxed class not like one with homework and tests and stuff. Like a group communication class or something really cool. Maura sat in the desk in front of mine and Steff was leaning on the desk diagonal from me or stood in the aisle or something. They were talking to me about the tour and while I was listening I could experience it with them. (Lately my dreams have been like that - if I have a thought about something in the dream, I immediately see it or have the experience, even if it's totally unrelated, and then I go back to the rest of the dream). I heard this one really heavy emotionally charged song that Miyavi was singing and vaguely recognized it. Maura got all emo and teary-eyed as we were like hearing the song somehow, and was like "yeah man, heavy stuff! that song gets me every time.." and I was like "yeah...." and then thought for a moment, and laughed. Maura gave me a confused look, and then was distracted becuase someone called her name or something and she turned her back to talk to them. Steff looked at me and asked me why I laughed. I chuckled and shook my head and said it was nothing.
She said "No really, what was funny about that?"
I said, "Well, it is a really deep sad emotional song, and when I hear it, if I really get into the lyrics and mood of it, I tear up as well. But it only really genuinely happens for the first time, or at most the first 3 times. But you guys all go to every single show on tour, that's like 15 shows or so, almost all one night after another. And especially Maura and her Comiyavi friends in Japan, they go several times a year even! Not to mention listening to it on their mp3 players or computers at home or during the day.. Like they have to somehow entrance themselves into producing that same emotion or squirting out tears. Either so they can have that experience again, or to show Miyavi that they sympathize with him, or I don't know. But they all do this, even Miyavi who plays and hears the song more than anyone else, all knowing inside that they're forcing this emotion out, and all knowing that each other knows this, and that the real emotion everyone is feeling is one of joy and excitement. It's not like it's bad or anything, it's just kind of funny if you think about it. Like I couldn't keep faking it for that long, I'd just start laughing in the audience and people'd alienate me for not sympathizing enough with Miyavi who he himself isn't even tormented like that at the moment. Like I'd be chasticized in everyone's minds for actually being honest with my emotions in that moment. It's just funny.."
Steff chuckled and she said "yeah I know what you mean, but for many of us who don't go to shows that often, it's a really magical experience and we do actually get shocked into crying, either because we feel the song that much, or because everyone else is and it's just a big ball of crying."
I said "Yeah, true. That's probably why I don't like going to shows as much."
Then we went on to talking about Miyavi and the concert, and yeah once again it was like, if we'd talk about him suddenly he'd sort of be there, like a hologram or maybe the real thing, I don't know. The three of us were so into our conversation and experience that we didn't notice our class ending and the next one filling up. Suddenly the teacher of the next class cleared his throat and broke our spells and we quickly gathered our things and left embarrassed. I apologized in Japanese and left. The next class were all adults, though, it was kind of weird.
We went our separate ways and I met up with my dad and my brother for some odd reason. We had this like barbeque outside and I kept trying to make cookies and cheesecake in an easy way on this like portable stove-top. So basically triyng to make cookies and cheesecake in a frying pan! Needless to say, it didn't work out so well. The cookies turned out ok but I didn't actually eat any of them. I was about to try the cheesecake, which looked really good, but my dad came up and said that some kiosk in the park was selling used books for cheap and there were some really good ones. Because I was thinking about books, the cheesecake in my hand turned into a book just as I was about to bite into it. So I ate this cheesecake flavored book, and spit it out like "wtf?" I tried to eat it again but it was now even more a book and not a cheesecake. So I gave up.
I then went and met Mimu as we were going to leave the school and the dream. There were like TONS AND TONS AND TONS of people, almost all Japanese high schoolers, and it was really hard to move or get anywhere. Finally we got outside of the school building and we kind of lost sight of each other. I was distracted by this really strange game of basketball that was going on just outside of the school. The hoops were low and really wide, and the teammates would lift their fellow teammate up, who had the baskeball, and they'd try to get the teammate AND the ball into the hoop. Sometimes just the ball would go in, and the teammate would be hanging onto the rim, that seemed to work to get some extra points. But getting the teammate and the ball in at once was like the most points you could get in the game. One of the players spotted me, and they all being Japanese, she noticed I was white and said in really bad English "I AMU FUROM AMERIKAAAA!!" I just turned and walked away.
Trying ot get away frantically, I noticed this really pretty blue painted grass, and in that grass were really pretty blue stones. They looked like they had just been accidentally painted but I looked closer and they were lapis lazuli! So I squatted down to see them and another Japanese high school boy walked by me and picked up a rock, making fun of me, making faces like "ooh look at this stupid colored rock, I'm a stupid foreigner haha". I turned around and ran away but right behind me was a whole pile of different colored rocks!
There was a pile of dark blue rocks right where I had turned around, and a pile of red across from that, and yellow beside that, and something else, and light blue to my immediate left, where Mimu just happened to be sitting! Someone else was sitting in front of each other colored stone pile, and suddenly I had this thought "Yeah, that's why Mimu and I get along so well, because we're both blue energies but mine is deep and dark and spiritual and his is lightweight gentle and childlike!"
Then we all connected somehow, either touching shoulders or elbows or holding hands or something, maybe not even physically touching but somehow, me and 6 other people sitting in front of these colored rocks, were all connected in a circle. I could feel us all try to spin our energies. I tried to get it to move one way but I realized that the natural flow was going the other way. At the same time, everyone else noticed this and we all went along with the flow, and our energies went spinning into a blur of light and color. Then, Mimu and I woke up!! LIKE FOR REAL!!
It was cool, haha!
Ok that's it.