It's grey out.
I love being just another girl. It's the best fucking feeling in the entire world. To go from being told that I am the world to just another drunk night. It's my new favorite feeling ever. Yah, it is. I totally love feeling like a complete naive, idiot who got distracted by some guy. No really, I do love this. Finally believe someone and trust them. FINALLY do that. Realize it's okay to hold no expectations. I didn't ask of anything. I didn't ask you to be there in the morning, or to take me out that week. To tell me you loved me. To make plans for us. So that when it's over, each heart beat feels like it will kill me and I cry so much that I've literally run out of tears and you can't imagine anything in the world being more painful. Then I remember! I did this to myself! Stupid girl...
Wake up pretty girl, the jokes on you!
I love how embarassing this title is. Another girl. So generic. So empty. And lonely. I've spent my whole life avoiding this place, so how did I end up here? How the hell did I let it all fall apart; let myself fall apart... I will never let it happen again. Never. I'm not this girl. I've spent the past two years trying to feel something. Anything. How dumb was I? I was one of the lucky ones, so immune to it all. When i couldn't even feel Kyle's hug. That was the life. The best part though (and this is the part I really love the most) is it's not done! Oh no! That would be logical. THAT would be smart. THAT would ensure I would never be here again. But instead I'll stay here, at the door, wagging my tail, jumping up and down; drooling over any attention you throw me. And if you talk to me! Well!
Now for something direct, he said he's pretty much over it; but not completely. So he'll take some time- he says we need some time. Apparently what we've had isn't sufficient. And he'll email me every 3 weeks and see where we end up. He'll phase me out- so easy for him. He won't feel this. He won't have to worry about saying hi, maybe that will be the last straw. Maybe that one hi will push him to the edge and he'll end it. So I'll have to calculate. Extra careful now. Oh I do love calculating! And now I'll just wait. I'll til he forgets to send the e-mail that says "Oh, by the way, we've been over for 3 months I just didn't have time to mention it."
I love being another girl. Don't worry everyone. I won't let you down! I'm very great at being another girl. I'll make it easy to forget me. I've made it so easy to not love me, why would you doubt my talents? It's funny, you know. And I really mean it's funny. I swore all this off long ago. But then I thought, I'm being foolish. So I pictured coming home to him, and I pictured us in bed, and I could see us drunk with our friends and holding hands and being so incredibly happy just to have someone. And that would be more than enough. And it wouldn't matter if I couldn't pay my credit card in full and it wouldn't matter that I slept through a class. Because even if that all fell desperately apart- I'd at least have something. Now I see. I'm foolish now. I should have stuck to my instincts. Make no mistake. This won't happen again.
And the tears come streaming down on your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Wake up pretty girl, the jokes on you!
I love how embarassing this title is. Another girl. So generic. So empty. And lonely. I've spent my whole life avoiding this place, so how did I end up here? How the hell did I let it all fall apart; let myself fall apart... I will never let it happen again. Never. I'm not this girl. I've spent the past two years trying to feel something. Anything. How dumb was I? I was one of the lucky ones, so immune to it all. When i couldn't even feel Kyle's hug. That was the life. The best part though (and this is the part I really love the most) is it's not done! Oh no! That would be logical. THAT would be smart. THAT would ensure I would never be here again. But instead I'll stay here, at the door, wagging my tail, jumping up and down; drooling over any attention you throw me. And if you talk to me! Well!
Now for something direct, he said he's pretty much over it; but not completely. So he'll take some time- he says we need some time. Apparently what we've had isn't sufficient. And he'll email me every 3 weeks and see where we end up. He'll phase me out- so easy for him. He won't feel this. He won't have to worry about saying hi, maybe that will be the last straw. Maybe that one hi will push him to the edge and he'll end it. So I'll have to calculate. Extra careful now. Oh I do love calculating! And now I'll just wait. I'll til he forgets to send the e-mail that says "Oh, by the way, we've been over for 3 months I just didn't have time to mention it."
I love being another girl. Don't worry everyone. I won't let you down! I'm very great at being another girl. I'll make it easy to forget me. I've made it so easy to not love me, why would you doubt my talents? It's funny, you know. And I really mean it's funny. I swore all this off long ago. But then I thought, I'm being foolish. So I pictured coming home to him, and I pictured us in bed, and I could see us drunk with our friends and holding hands and being so incredibly happy just to have someone. And that would be more than enough. And it wouldn't matter if I couldn't pay my credit card in full and it wouldn't matter that I slept through a class. Because even if that all fell desperately apart- I'd at least have something. Now I see. I'm foolish now. I should have stuck to my instincts. Make no mistake. This won't happen again.
And the tears come streaming down on your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes