Vampires Do It Better - Chap 12
Title: Vampires Do It Better
Author:
love_joongie
Pairing: Yunjae, Yoosu, maybe Jaemin in the future.
Genre: Action, Humour, Romance, and random stupid
Plot:
Inspired by the novel “Bloodthirsty” by Flynn Meany. Mostly just for
the first couple chapters though… You should read it! SUPER FUNNY!
Length: Chaptered
Rating: PG, might go up to 13 later… but who can predict that? Certainly not I!
Warning: Um… Deceit? Naaah.
Summary:
“Some Vampires are good. Some are evil. And some are just faking it to get girls.” What Jaejoong didn’t count on was a gay roommate, some kind of vampire half-breed, and a tiny loser he accidentally rescued to ruin everything he had planned for his new year at a new school. ALL HE WANTED WAS A GIRLFRIEND FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything or anyone in this fic… because if I did, neither I nor they would leave my bedroom… except maybe for snacks…
Chapter 12
“It is now 0200 hours. The enemy is not yet in sight.” I whispered dramatically in my fist, that was currently my walkie-talkie. “Do you copy Sergeant?”
Changmin held up his own fist. “I read you loud and clear, Lieutenant.” He whispered back. He was crouched on the couch next to me, squinting out the window into the perfectly black night. “Report back to base. We’ll reconvene and sent out the troops.”
“Yes, sir!” I saluted him.
Yunho glared at us from his side of the couch, as he was bleeding all over it. I couldn’t stand being around anything bloody, and apparently, since Changmin had skipped dinner to hang out with us, Yunho’s bloody knuckles were too much of a temptation, and he didn’t want to snack on him. I had made a sad attempt to bandage his fingers, but passed out for about five minutes. I really cannot stand the sight of blood, especially somebody else’s. Now I have this panging headache in the back of my head that just won’t go away. “Will you idiots stop being idiots?” He snapped at us.
“Sergeant, there appears to be a spy in our midst! What is the advised course of action?” I whispered to my comrade.
“Remain at your post, Lieutenant! We’ll smoke him out!” He shouted.
“SHUT UP! THIS IS A SERIOUS SITUATION!” Yunho screamed at us. “WE’RE ABOUT TO BE ATTACKED BY FUCKING VAMPIRES! STOP PLAYING WAR AND TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!”
“Never mind, Sergeant. It was only Colonel Partypooper.”
“That Colonel is never any fun.” Changmin shook his head sadly. We smirked at said Colonel, and realized something. Yunho was going to kill us. Slowly and painfully. He stood up and walked towards us, fists clenched and eyebrows furrowed. “Lieutenant, I think we should stop communication until further notice.”
“Roger that. Over and out.” I turned off my fist, got up and grinned sheepishly at Yunho. “Colonel! When did you get here?”
“You two are so frigging-” I grabbed his face and kissed him. He blinked, stumbled backwards in shock and landed on his ass.
“SUCCESS!” I raised my hand to Changmin for a high five, but he shook his head at me.
“You’re so mean to me, Jae… I can’t even… UGH!” He sobbed in a dramatic nervous breakdown. “I hate you.”
I was about to go hug Changmin or something, but Yunho woke up from his kiss induced dazed, grabbed us both by the collar and kept us apart. “NO! No, no, no, no, no. I told you, no more stupid games.” We hung our heads in shame. “Now, we are going to sit down and await our demise, like NORMAL PEOPLE! Is that clear?”
“Yes.” Changmin and I mumbled.
“Yes what?”
Min and I shared an evil glance. “Yes, Colonel Party pooper!” We burst into laughter, and got ruthlessly smacked in the back of the head. “Ow.” I went to sit down next to Yunho on the couch, and Min sat across from us. “You’re so violent.” My head hurts worse now.
We had gotten home about an hour ago, and Changmin filled us in on the sad sorrowful story of his unhealthily long life. His vampire mom, who just happens to be the leader of the coven, fell in love with his human dad, but his human dad didn’t like her because she sucked people’s blood. So, she raped him. You know… it’s a classic ‘girl meets boy, girl falls in love with boy, boy rejects girl, girl gets revenge by raping him’ story. Anyway, she got pregnant with Changmin, and he was raised by vampires and such. “Since I’m only half vampire, I can go out in the sunlight, I don’t age, and I don’t really need to drink blood, but if I don’t eat enough I get angry cravings for it.” He had explained. “Also I don’t have the super speed or strength and endless supply of energy, but I have the awesome hearing thing, and I have no need for sleep.” He had shrugged.
“You didn’t get any of the cool things then.” I had smirked, earning a tissue box to the head. He had then texted Hyun Joong to come over with information about the enemy camp. I mean the vampires. This war-time thing is starting to get to my head.
So we were sitting around waiting for Hyun Joong to show up to inform us of the next course of action. Apparently in vampire society, each vampire gets a personal were-wolf protector, and since Min is only half-vamp he got a half-were, Hyun Joong. It’s quite sad really, and doesn’t do much to explain why Hyun Joong is such a retard. “I’m just going to call him this time.” Min nodded to himself and pulled his cell out of his pocket.
“Dude, it’s almost one in the morning, don’t you think Hyun Joong would be asleep by now?” I mused out loud.
“Oh… Hyun Joong doesn’t need to sleep.” Min mumbled, and put his cellphone on speaker, so that we could listen in to the conversation.
“Min! What’s up my brother?!? Dude! Did you hide them? Are they okay? How’s Yunho?” Hyun Joong’s voice crackled through the receiver as he shot questions at Min.
“Will you shut up and let me answer?” Changmin growled, and Hyun Joong managed to shut his huge mouth. “Didn’t you see my text? You need to come to Jae’s, STAT! Yunho’s needs to be tended to, but is too stupid to put a freaking band-aid on.” I think it’s gone to Min’s head too.
“HEY! You need two hands to put the band-aids on! And both of you suck ass farts.” Yunho shot me and Changmin a glare. He should stop doing that before his face gets stuck in perma-anger. I grabbed the remote and poked him with it apologetically. I don’t think he appreciated the gesture.
“Oh! YUNHO IS THAT YOU?!?” Hyun Joong screamed excitedly into the phone. I glared at the device. Why is he so damn worried about Yunho? He doesn’t even like Hyun Joong. He likes me. So hah!
“I’m here too, you know.” I grumbled.
“JOONGIE!” I cringed. “I MISSED YOU! You guys have no idea how boring it was hanging out with stupid Changmin. All he ever wants to do is-”
“I don’t think that important, Hyun. Just get your stupid ass here, and get those stupid band-aids on Yunho.” Min snapped the phone shut. “I never wanted this to happen.” He sobbed uselessly. “All I wanted was for ONCE to have a normal high-school life, with normal friends and normal food, and normal-”
“Yes, yes we get it. You wanted to be normal.” I rolled my eyes.
“Seriously, dude.” Yunho shook his head sadly. “Your life story sucks.”
“MY LIFE STORY IS AWESOME, OKAY?!?” He screamed at us angrily, flailing his arms about like a wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube man… Say that three times fast.
“No… you suck.” I said, and Yunho nodded in agreement. “Jaeho agrees. Changmin sucks ass.”
“You mean Yunjae.” Yunho interjected.
“No. I mean Jaeho. I wouldn’t mean Yunjae, because Yunjae is stupid.” I glared at him.
“Jaeho is stupid. I mean, obviously I would be the one on top.” Yunho rolled his eyes.
I was about to smack some sense into him, because no way in hell would he ever top over me, the J-Man, but the front-door burst open and in a flurry of movements and broken sentences Hyun Joong came into our apartment. “JAE! YUNHO!” He hugged me then tackled Yunho, before going over to stand by Changmin, looking around then sitting down on the couch. “Do you guys have anything to eat?”
“How did you open the door?” I blinked at him. “It was locked!”
“Oh, I rang the doorbell, and it didn’t work, so I picked your lock. You have a 997E Alpha, fairly easy to crack.” He said like it was reasonably common for him to break into his friends’ houses. “I think I broke it though, so you should have that checked. But seriously, can I have something to eat?”
“No.” Yunho scoffed in disbelief. “You broke our door!”
“Awwww….” He hugged Yunho, and rubbed his face into his cheek. “Yunniebear is mad about the door.”
“There’s some left-over bibimbap from lunch if you want it.” I said to him, and he flew off Yunho, into our kitchen. Yunho smacked me. “Ow!”
“Don’t feed him! That just makes him worse!” He bellowed.
“You got blood on my shirt…” I mumbled. I was starting to feel a little bit dizzy. “Oh… I don’t feel so good.” I muttered, shaking my head. Yunho squinted at me worriedly, probably afraid I would vomit on him in a split second.
“Hyun Joong, stop eating and get your ass in here, before Jaejoong pukes on all of us.” Changmin groaned. I rolled my eyes at him, and leaned my head back against the couch. Hyun Joong came back with a piece of carrot in his mouth. He sat down between me and Yunho and threw his arms around both of our shoulders, and just sat there until Min exploded and screamed at him to bandage Yunho’s hands.
“Tsk, touchy, touchy.” Hyun Joong tutted. Why can’t I have made normal friends? Yunho scuttled as far away from Hyun Joong as possible on the sofa. “Come on Yunho! Let’s fix you up.” He grabbed his hands and started dabbing on some ointment like it was nobody’s business.
“OW! What are you doing?” Yunho pulled his hands away from him. “Are you trying to kill my hands?”
“No, I’m trying to heal them, duh.” Hyun Joong laughed maniacally. “Now, let me finish!”
I turned back to Changmin, while Hyun Joong kept torturing poor Yunho. “So… if you don’t age, does that mean you’re like a gagillion years old, but forever look seventeen?” I mused. “Should we start calling you ajhussi?” Yunho and Hyun burst out in laughter.
“Hey! I’m not that old!” Min glared at me, out of things to toss at my head.
“How old are you REALLY?” Yunho smirked, shoving Hyun Joong off the couch now that he was done wrapping him up and sliding closer to me.
Changmin huffed, and curled his nose up at us. “In vampire years… I am five.”
Yunho and I shared an amused glance, and laughed at Changmin’s face. “HAHAAHAHA. Five! HAHAHAHA!” I reached over the coffee table and pinched the frowning half-vampire’s face. “Wook at the wittle cutieee~” I giggled, and Min smacked my hand away. “Hihihihi, five.”
Min crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. “You guys are so mean to me.”
“Awww, look at the little baby! He’s pouting.” Yunho sniggered. We were both tittering like a couple of drunken idiots.
“I hate you guys. Why don’t you just go make-out somewhere and leave me alone?” He pouted. “You don’t care how I feel anyway, so you might as well just get it on.”
“Make-out?” Hyun Joong jumped off the floor, and went around the couch, parking himself between Yunho and I and staring at both of us like we were a science experiment. “HOLY MONKEY TOES! Are you guys dating?” He giggled stupidly.
“Yes.”
“No.” Yunho and I answered simultaneously. I pouted at him. “Dude, we’re not dating.”
Yunho rolled his eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry. Next time someone sticks their tongue down my throat, I won’t naturally assume we’re dating.” He grumbled like the sarcastic dick he is. “Especially when this happened immediately after a conversation where I asked said person to go out with me.”
“It was in the heat of the moment okay?!?” I cried. “And you were groping my ass, you pervert.”
“As I recall you ENJOYED my groping your ass.” He stuck his tongue out at me.
“A mememe me ME me mememe.” I mocked him childishly. “That’s what you sound like.”
“I do not. That’s what YOU sound like.” He spat, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re stupid.”
“Well, you’re a pervert! Don’t kiss people randomly out of the blue.” I snorted.
“Wow, this is amazing.” Changmin and Hyun Joong grinned, staring at us like we were some insanely interesting movie while eating their popcorn. Where the hell did they get popcorn?
“You can cut the sexual tension with a knife.” Hyun Joong added, before getting distracted by a sudden draft. Idiot.
“As I recall Jae, I didn’t kiss you.” Yunho smirked victoriously, completely ignoring the blithering idiots being stupid and smelly on my other couch. “YOU kissed ME.”
I scoffed. “I did not ki-” Oh crap. My eyes widened in realization and I gasped. I did kiss him. It was me. He just stopped half way and I did everything else. Oh my God. “I did.” I squeaked out. Yunho grinned triumphantly, and Hyun Joong applauded. Changmin grumbled something unintelligible. I wasn’t paying attention to them, because my mind was busy calculating what the hell all this meant. I kissed Yunho… well I’ve done it before, but this time I really wanted to do it. And I liked it. I liked it a lot. Even when he grabbed my butt. Oh no… It’s so obvious! How could I have missed this?
I was about to reach the conclusion when my brain shut down completely. My cheeks started to feel very hot, and I felt dizzy. This usually happens when I get sick. I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to collect my thoughts, and turn off the screeching headache invading my brain. “Jae?” Yunho watched me with this adorable worried expression on his face. He’s so cute. “Are you okay?”
I shook my head. “I think I’m sick.” I looked at the phone, expecting my mom to call me any second now.
“You look sick.” Changmin laughed, and I threw the tissue box back at his head, but he avoided it by moving his oversized head to the side. “Tsk, tsk. Violence doesn’t solve anything Joongie.” I cringed.
“Don’t call me that.” I groaned, as Yunho turned me around to face him on the couch. He’s so handsome and nice. I blinked at him. Did he always have a glowing halo around him? Yunho pushed my bangs away from my forehead and pressed his against it. “What are you doing?” I sounded very hazy, and dumbstruck.
“You have a fever…” He mumbled distractedly, his forehead still glued to mine. “You’re really burning up, Baby.”
…
Baby?
“AAAAAAWWWWWW!” Hyun Joong squealed in an unnaturally high pitch.
“Can you guys stop being all romantic for two seconds so we can discuss what to do?” Min growled unhappily. Yunho scooched to the other end of the couch and brought my head down to rest it on his lap. Aw… Yunho’s the best.
“What is there to discuss?” I mumbled into Yunho’s thigh. His big muscly thighs. I giggled at the thought, and hugged his leg.
“Stupid. We have to prep you! You can’t just talk to vampires like they’re normal people! There are rules! RULES!” Changmin cried dramatically. “It won’t be long before they use their super speed to get here and make conversation!”
“Then why aren’t they coming over now?” Yunho sighed. He started playing with my hair. It felt nice. Maybe I’ll take a nap here.
“Silly Yunho… They’re probably changing their clothes.” Hyun Joong shrugged. “They’re a very fashion conscientious people.” He looked around suddenly with his ADD challenged mind. “Oh. Someone’s on the stairs.”
“Aw crap.” Changmin groaned. “I thought we’d have more time to prepare for this. They usually take much longer than this.” He explained. “What with Heechul, and how everybody’s supposed to match with what he’s wearing and-” The doorbell rang loudly, making my head hurt. “Oh, that’s them. Jae, stop lazing around and answer the door. And please, try not to be a COMPLETE asshole.”
I pouted at him. “But I’m comfy…” I mumbled, hugging Yunho’s leg tighter. “And if anyone here’s an asshole it’s you.”
My getting up turned out to be unnecessary, because Yoochun threw the door open and burst dramatically into the room, dragging his luggage behind him. He gave one look at me lying on Yunho’s leg, and escaped into the bedroom. “Don’t say hi to us or anything.” Hyun Joong called after him.
He poked his head out of our room and glared at me. “Jae’s sick. You don’t want to be around when he’s sick.” He huffed, and went back into his room.
The phone rang. “I guess I really am sick.” I grumbled and reached for the phone on our coffee table. “Hey Mom.”
“BABY! You’re sick aren’t you? What was the point of letting Yunho live with you if he’s not going to take care of you? Put him on the phone.” She shrieked angrily on the other line.
“How did you know I was sick anyway?” I inquired of her.
“Mother’s intuition.”
“Why are you even up at this time?” I asked her.
“Can’t a mother call up her son at late hours in the night without said son being unreasonably suspicious? Now, hand the phone over to Yunho. You’re obviously delirious.”
“I’m fine… Yunho’s taking care of me plenty.” I winked at Yunho. He bit his lower lip and blushed. Aw… “I think it’s just a cold.”
“HAH! You think it’s just a cold, so you don’t take care of it and it becomes the flu, but it’s just a flu right? WRONG! It’s pneumonia! And two weeks later you’re lying on your deathbed telling your husband you loved him and to open that safety deposit box that gives him precise instruction to the big secret you’ve kept hidden from him for 40 years.” She scoffed long-windedly. “So put Yunho on the phone!”
“She wants to talk to you.” I handed him the phone. “Careful… She’s on crazy pills.”
“I HEARD THAT!” Mom’s voice crackled from the phone.
“LOVE YOU MOM!” I called. Yunho laughed, and started talking to my mom. She clearly wasn’t even the slightest bit angry at him, because he had a huge grin plastered on his face. He has a nice smile. And a handsome face. I sighed.
Yoochun walked out of our room and came to sit between Min and Hyun Joong, sending me disgusted glares every now and then. I turned away from Yunho and made eye-contact with him. He squeaked and almost jumped onto Changmin’s lap. “Don’t do that!” He screamed at me.
“Dude what is wrong with you?” Changmin slid away from him like he was afraid Yoochun was a carrier of some fatal transmissible disease. “Jae what’s wrong with him?”
“I don’t know.” I huffed, going back to my shameless ogling. Yunho looks pretty awesome in that light.
He hung up the phone, and turned to look at me. “What?” He stuttered, touching his face. “Do I have something on my face?”
“Yes… You have handsome on your face.” I giggled, and turned away embarrassed.
“Oh, we’re in the clear. Jae’s latched on to Yunho now.” Yoochun sighed in relief.
“Why can’t Jaejoong look at you?” Min asked him.
Chun turned to him and sneered superiorly. “You mean… You don’t know?” He received a tissue box to the forehead. “HEY!”
“You deserved that.”
“DON’T THROW BOXES AT MY BEAUTIFUL HEAD!”
“I didn’t throw a box at your beautiful head. I threw one at your BIG FAT GINORMOUS FOREHEAD!”
“THOSE THREE WORDS ARE SINONYMS! AND MY FOREHEAD IS THE PERFECT SIZE AND HEIGHT!”
“Yes… IN GINORMOUS LAND!”
“SHUT UP!”
“YOU SHUT UP!”
“Both of you shut the hell up!” Yunho growled angrily at them. Hihihi, his angry voice is so sexy. I think something in my head has gone bonkers… but I don’t particularly care right now. Sigh. “Jaejoong’s sick.”
“I know.” My childhood friend turned to glare at Changmin. “And if you MUST know, when Jae gets sick he thinks the first thing he sees has to take care of him. He’s like a baby duck that way.”
“Oh, ew. Jaejoong don’t look at me.” Changmin smirked.
“But doesn’t that just mean that Jaejoong would want to spend more time with that person.” Hyun Joong mused. Yoochun and Changmin blinked in confusion. “So, wouldn’t he or she be the lucky recipient of the much coveted Jae honey?” He sighed in his usual incomprehensible manner.
“He does make sense… oddly enough.” Changmin pondered aloud.
“Jae honey?” Yunho breathed disbelievingly. “What is that some kind of code for sex I haven’t heard about?” Hihihihihi, Yunho said sex. I sat up and hugged his chest.
“I think Yunho already won this one.” Hyun Joong shrugged.
“NOOO!” Yoochun cried dramatically. Changmin grabbed him by the collar before he could throw himself at me. Chun groaned unhappily. “LET GO YOU BIG APE!” Then Changmin did something that shocked all of us, even Hyun Joong, into a state of absolute stillness. He grabbed Yoochun’s face and kissed him. Like… just… kissed him. We all just stared dumbfounded as Min pulled away from my roommate, and they had a string of saliva connecting them to each other. It was quite gross. We were all very flabbergasted.
The extremely long awkward silence ended when I sneezed so hard I felt my brain explode through my nose. Yunho handed me a tissue, like the awesome sexy gentleman he is. Hihihi, Yunho’s so awesome. “Thank you.”
“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU FREAKISHLY TALL FART HEAD?!?” Yoochun screamed suddenly, backing as far away from Changmin as he possibly could in the living room.
Min blinked up at us in confusion. Hyun Joong sat on the arm of my sofa, and squinted at Changmin, for once entirely focused on one thing. It was really weird. “Did… Did I do that?” Min asked, his eyes begging us to deny it. Yunho and I nodded unsurely. “Why… Why would I-” He interrupted himself when Yoochun shuffled a bit where he was cowering frightfully. He froze in his spot as Changmin stared at him unflinchingly. “You smell REALLY good.”
“Stop staring at me! I’m not a piece of meat for you to ogle!” Yoochun cried, covering his non-existent breasts. Did I really use to think Yoochun was cool? When did he become this big annoying wuss?
“Min… When’s the last time you ate?” Hyun asked him. What the hell does that have to do with anything?
“I don’t know… Lunch?” The half-breed mumbled without tearing his eyes away from our roommate.
“You haven’t fed him since lunch?” Hyun Joong screamed at Yunho and I, flailing his arms hyperactively.
“We haven’t eaten either! We were trying to get this idiot to understand math!” Yunho pouted. Aw. Wait a minute…
“I’m not an idiot!” I pursed my lips unhappily.
“Yes, you are Jae.” Yunho said sweetly, patting my hair. “You think Jaeho is acceptable, when clearly it’s not.”
“Jaeho is the only way to go.” I glared at him challengingly.
Hyun Joong shook his head at us disapprovingly. “You’re stupid Jae. It’s OBVIOUSLY Yunjae.” Changmin nodded without interrupting his ogling.
“Okay, HOW is it obviously Yunjae? In what possible universe does Yunjae make sense?” I huffed.
“In EVERY universe.” Yunho smirked.
“Yeah, Yunho’s name has to come first.” Changmin mumbled.
Hyun Joong nodded in agreement. “Uh-huh. The first name of a pairing is always the one that can most believable rape the other.”
“So you’re saying that Yunho would most believably rape me?!? THAT’s your criteria for whose name comes first?”
“Jae, tell him to stop staring at me.” Yoochun whimpered annoyingly, interrupting our heated discussion.
I looked over at Changmin disinterestedly. “Min, stop staring at Yoochun.” He didn’t listen to me. “Min, listen.” I turned over to poke Min, but couldn’t reach him. I groaned. “Min, can you come closer so I can poke you, so you can listen to me?” He ignored me again. Okay, he was starting to piss me off. I got off Yunho’s lap, and tackled him down. “I SAID TO LISTEN TO ME!”
“GET OFF ME YOU MONKEY!” We wrestled like a couple of idiots on the floor, with Yunho and Hyun Joong trying to separate us by screaming things about peace.
Changmin managed to push me against the floor. He snarled angrily at me, and I almost crapped my pants. He had his pointy teeth out, and his eyes were throbbing red. “HOLY SHIT!” I screamed at him, and promptly punched him in the face.
His eyes and teeth went back to normal. “Ow!” He pouted, rubbing the spot where I’d punched him. “What the hell man? Was that really necessary?”
“Uh… Yeah. You went all pseudo-vampire freak on me.” I told him. “You deserved that punch to the face.”
“I did not! I would’ve totally calmed down in like five seconds.” Min yelled at me. “You’re just violent for absolutely no reason.”
I sighed. I would have usually argued back or something, but my head really hurt, so I just lay listlessly against the back of the couch. Yunho patted my head from where he was sitting. “You want me to get you some Tylenol?” He asked me all sweet-like, and I nodded. He kissed the top of my head, and went into the kitchen. I think, in his mind we’re already dating or something. He should make me soup too.
I sneezed again. And Yoochun jumped up in surprise. “Dude! Do you HAVE to sneeze so loud?!?” I wanted to yell back that I hadn’t done it on purpose, but I settled on shooting him a glare.
Changmin went back to staring at Yoochun like a tiger observing an antelope. “Chun, are you like a rare blood type or something?” I asked him.
“How in hell should I know?” Yoochun spat at me angrily. He recoiled from Changmin’s intense gaze. “STOP IT!”
“Will you guys feed him something before he attacks Yoochun and rips his throat out?” Hyun Joong shouted at us, but it was too late. Changmin flung himself at Yoochun who let out a blood curling scream, and failed miserably to duck for cover. “OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT!”
“CHANGMIN GET OFF YOOCHUN!” I got off the floor, and tried to pull Changmin off of Chun. He had somehow pinned the poor boy to the ground, and had taken a giant bite out of his neck. “Oh my God, Min, stop eating him!” The half-crazed half-vamp would not budge no matter how hard I pulled. I shot Hyun Joong a glare. “HELP ME!”
Yunho walked in with a glass of water and some Tylenol. “Oh shit!”
“Yes, I too am of that opinion.” Hyun Joong smiled brightly. I didn’t see what Yun threw at him.
I’m pretty sure he put the water and pills down, before he came over and hugged me by the waist. I was about to shout that this was no time to be all lovey-dovey, but he started pulling to get Changmin off Yoochun. And then… Yoochun moaned. Ugh… I just vomited a little in my mouth. Yun and I immediately stopped tugging and scooted back ten feet away. “What the hell was that?” I shouted at them.
“STOP LAZING AROUND! DISTRACT MIN WITH SOME FOOD BEFORE HE SUCKS HIM DRY!” Hyun Joong shouted at us. Why do we have to do everything while he just stands there flailing his arms?
Yunho seemed to have an ‘aha’ moment. He went to the coat rack and pulled out my Reese’s from his jacket pocket. “HEY CHANGMIN!” He shouted, momentarily distracting our vampiric friend. Yunho tossed the chocolate at him. I mourned it as it made a perfect arch and landed in Min’s undeserving hands. He ripped open the packaging with his teeth and started voraciously chomping on the delectable peanut butter cups. A lone manly tear slid down my cheek. My chocolate… Why did it have to be sacrificed? WHY CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?!?
There was blood all over Min’s face, but he seemed to have calmed down. His eyes were brown again, and he just sat there eating MY chocolate like he hadn’t just tried to suck Yoochun dry… Oh God, not like that you perverts!
~~~
13
A/N:I'm baaaaack~ ish... Sorry this took for-frigging-EVER to post! Who knew school took so much concentration? I've only skipped ONE class this semester. Can you believe that? It's soooo weiiiiiiird~ AND! Me and my friend found this ossum Kpop store in Chinatown and spend eons in there looking for DBSK merchandise! I bought a JYJ phone strap and it broke and i''ve been mourning it since yesterday. We almost bought bags and such, but they weren't pretty. we'll be going back soooooon~ Anywhooooo~ ENJOY! and THNX FOR READING! The next chap will be coming out sooner i think, cuz this was sort of a filler i realized after i was 10 pages into my word document.
Author:
love_joongie
Pairing: Yunjae, Yoosu, maybe Jaemin in the future.
Genre: Action, Humour, Romance, and random stupid
Plot:
Inspired by the novel “Bloodthirsty” by Flynn Meany. Mostly just for
the first couple chapters though… You should read it! SUPER FUNNY!
Length: Chaptered
Rating: PG, might go up to 13 later… but who can predict that? Certainly not I!
Warning: Um… Deceit? Naaah.
Summary:
“Some Vampires are good. Some are evil. And some are just faking it to get girls.” What Jaejoong didn’t count on was a gay roommate, some kind of vampire half-breed, and a tiny loser he accidentally rescued to ruin everything he had planned for his new year at a new school. ALL HE WANTED WAS A GIRLFRIEND FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything or anyone in this fic… because if I did, neither I nor they would leave my bedroom… except maybe for snacks…
Chapter 12
“It is now 0200 hours. The enemy is not yet in sight.” I whispered dramatically in my fist, that was currently my walkie-talkie. “Do you copy Sergeant?”
Changmin held up his own fist. “I read you loud and clear, Lieutenant.” He whispered back. He was crouched on the couch next to me, squinting out the window into the perfectly black night. “Report back to base. We’ll reconvene and sent out the troops.”
“Yes, sir!” I saluted him.
Yunho glared at us from his side of the couch, as he was bleeding all over it. I couldn’t stand being around anything bloody, and apparently, since Changmin had skipped dinner to hang out with us, Yunho’s bloody knuckles were too much of a temptation, and he didn’t want to snack on him. I had made a sad attempt to bandage his fingers, but passed out for about five minutes. I really cannot stand the sight of blood, especially somebody else’s. Now I have this panging headache in the back of my head that just won’t go away. “Will you idiots stop being idiots?” He snapped at us.
“Sergeant, there appears to be a spy in our midst! What is the advised course of action?” I whispered to my comrade.
“Remain at your post, Lieutenant! We’ll smoke him out!” He shouted.
“SHUT UP! THIS IS A SERIOUS SITUATION!” Yunho screamed at us. “WE’RE ABOUT TO BE ATTACKED BY FUCKING VAMPIRES! STOP PLAYING WAR AND TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!”
“Never mind, Sergeant. It was only Colonel Partypooper.”
“That Colonel is never any fun.” Changmin shook his head sadly. We smirked at said Colonel, and realized something. Yunho was going to kill us. Slowly and painfully. He stood up and walked towards us, fists clenched and eyebrows furrowed. “Lieutenant, I think we should stop communication until further notice.”
“Roger that. Over and out.” I turned off my fist, got up and grinned sheepishly at Yunho. “Colonel! When did you get here?”
“You two are so frigging-” I grabbed his face and kissed him. He blinked, stumbled backwards in shock and landed on his ass.
“SUCCESS!” I raised my hand to Changmin for a high five, but he shook his head at me.
“You’re so mean to me, Jae… I can’t even… UGH!” He sobbed in a dramatic nervous breakdown. “I hate you.”
I was about to go hug Changmin or something, but Yunho woke up from his kiss induced dazed, grabbed us both by the collar and kept us apart. “NO! No, no, no, no, no. I told you, no more stupid games.” We hung our heads in shame. “Now, we are going to sit down and await our demise, like NORMAL PEOPLE! Is that clear?”
“Yes.” Changmin and I mumbled.
“Yes what?”
Min and I shared an evil glance. “Yes, Colonel Party pooper!” We burst into laughter, and got ruthlessly smacked in the back of the head. “Ow.” I went to sit down next to Yunho on the couch, and Min sat across from us. “You’re so violent.” My head hurts worse now.
We had gotten home about an hour ago, and Changmin filled us in on the sad sorrowful story of his unhealthily long life. His vampire mom, who just happens to be the leader of the coven, fell in love with his human dad, but his human dad didn’t like her because she sucked people’s blood. So, she raped him. You know… it’s a classic ‘girl meets boy, girl falls in love with boy, boy rejects girl, girl gets revenge by raping him’ story. Anyway, she got pregnant with Changmin, and he was raised by vampires and such. “Since I’m only half vampire, I can go out in the sunlight, I don’t age, and I don’t really need to drink blood, but if I don’t eat enough I get angry cravings for it.” He had explained. “Also I don’t have the super speed or strength and endless supply of energy, but I have the awesome hearing thing, and I have no need for sleep.” He had shrugged.
“You didn’t get any of the cool things then.” I had smirked, earning a tissue box to the head. He had then texted Hyun Joong to come over with information about the enemy camp. I mean the vampires. This war-time thing is starting to get to my head.
So we were sitting around waiting for Hyun Joong to show up to inform us of the next course of action. Apparently in vampire society, each vampire gets a personal were-wolf protector, and since Min is only half-vamp he got a half-were, Hyun Joong. It’s quite sad really, and doesn’t do much to explain why Hyun Joong is such a retard. “I’m just going to call him this time.” Min nodded to himself and pulled his cell out of his pocket.
“Dude, it’s almost one in the morning, don’t you think Hyun Joong would be asleep by now?” I mused out loud.
“Oh… Hyun Joong doesn’t need to sleep.” Min mumbled, and put his cellphone on speaker, so that we could listen in to the conversation.
“Min! What’s up my brother?!? Dude! Did you hide them? Are they okay? How’s Yunho?” Hyun Joong’s voice crackled through the receiver as he shot questions at Min.
“Will you shut up and let me answer?” Changmin growled, and Hyun Joong managed to shut his huge mouth. “Didn’t you see my text? You need to come to Jae’s, STAT! Yunho’s needs to be tended to, but is too stupid to put a freaking band-aid on.” I think it’s gone to Min’s head too.
“HEY! You need two hands to put the band-aids on! And both of you suck ass farts.” Yunho shot me and Changmin a glare. He should stop doing that before his face gets stuck in perma-anger. I grabbed the remote and poked him with it apologetically. I don’t think he appreciated the gesture.
“Oh! YUNHO IS THAT YOU?!?” Hyun Joong screamed excitedly into the phone. I glared at the device. Why is he so damn worried about Yunho? He doesn’t even like Hyun Joong. He likes me. So hah!
“I’m here too, you know.” I grumbled.
“JOONGIE!” I cringed. “I MISSED YOU! You guys have no idea how boring it was hanging out with stupid Changmin. All he ever wants to do is-”
“I don’t think that important, Hyun. Just get your stupid ass here, and get those stupid band-aids on Yunho.” Min snapped the phone shut. “I never wanted this to happen.” He sobbed uselessly. “All I wanted was for ONCE to have a normal high-school life, with normal friends and normal food, and normal-”
“Yes, yes we get it. You wanted to be normal.” I rolled my eyes.
“Seriously, dude.” Yunho shook his head sadly. “Your life story sucks.”
“MY LIFE STORY IS AWESOME, OKAY?!?” He screamed at us angrily, flailing his arms about like a wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube man… Say that three times fast.
“No… you suck.” I said, and Yunho nodded in agreement. “Jaeho agrees. Changmin sucks ass.”
“You mean Yunjae.” Yunho interjected.
“No. I mean Jaeho. I wouldn’t mean Yunjae, because Yunjae is stupid.” I glared at him.
“Jaeho is stupid. I mean, obviously I would be the one on top.” Yunho rolled his eyes.
I was about to smack some sense into him, because no way in hell would he ever top over me, the J-Man, but the front-door burst open and in a flurry of movements and broken sentences Hyun Joong came into our apartment. “JAE! YUNHO!” He hugged me then tackled Yunho, before going over to stand by Changmin, looking around then sitting down on the couch. “Do you guys have anything to eat?”
“How did you open the door?” I blinked at him. “It was locked!”
“Oh, I rang the doorbell, and it didn’t work, so I picked your lock. You have a 997E Alpha, fairly easy to crack.” He said like it was reasonably common for him to break into his friends’ houses. “I think I broke it though, so you should have that checked. But seriously, can I have something to eat?”
“No.” Yunho scoffed in disbelief. “You broke our door!”
“Awwww….” He hugged Yunho, and rubbed his face into his cheek. “Yunniebear is mad about the door.”
“There’s some left-over bibimbap from lunch if you want it.” I said to him, and he flew off Yunho, into our kitchen. Yunho smacked me. “Ow!”
“Don’t feed him! That just makes him worse!” He bellowed.
“You got blood on my shirt…” I mumbled. I was starting to feel a little bit dizzy. “Oh… I don’t feel so good.” I muttered, shaking my head. Yunho squinted at me worriedly, probably afraid I would vomit on him in a split second.
“Hyun Joong, stop eating and get your ass in here, before Jaejoong pukes on all of us.” Changmin groaned. I rolled my eyes at him, and leaned my head back against the couch. Hyun Joong came back with a piece of carrot in his mouth. He sat down between me and Yunho and threw his arms around both of our shoulders, and just sat there until Min exploded and screamed at him to bandage Yunho’s hands.
“Tsk, touchy, touchy.” Hyun Joong tutted. Why can’t I have made normal friends? Yunho scuttled as far away from Hyun Joong as possible on the sofa. “Come on Yunho! Let’s fix you up.” He grabbed his hands and started dabbing on some ointment like it was nobody’s business.
“OW! What are you doing?” Yunho pulled his hands away from him. “Are you trying to kill my hands?”
“No, I’m trying to heal them, duh.” Hyun Joong laughed maniacally. “Now, let me finish!”
I turned back to Changmin, while Hyun Joong kept torturing poor Yunho. “So… if you don’t age, does that mean you’re like a gagillion years old, but forever look seventeen?” I mused. “Should we start calling you ajhussi?” Yunho and Hyun burst out in laughter.
“Hey! I’m not that old!” Min glared at me, out of things to toss at my head.
“How old are you REALLY?” Yunho smirked, shoving Hyun Joong off the couch now that he was done wrapping him up and sliding closer to me.
Changmin huffed, and curled his nose up at us. “In vampire years… I am five.”
Yunho and I shared an amused glance, and laughed at Changmin’s face. “HAHAAHAHA. Five! HAHAHAHA!” I reached over the coffee table and pinched the frowning half-vampire’s face. “Wook at the wittle cutieee~” I giggled, and Min smacked my hand away. “Hihihihi, five.”
Min crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. “You guys are so mean to me.”
“Awww, look at the little baby! He’s pouting.” Yunho sniggered. We were both tittering like a couple of drunken idiots.
“I hate you guys. Why don’t you just go make-out somewhere and leave me alone?” He pouted. “You don’t care how I feel anyway, so you might as well just get it on.”
“Make-out?” Hyun Joong jumped off the floor, and went around the couch, parking himself between Yunho and I and staring at both of us like we were a science experiment. “HOLY MONKEY TOES! Are you guys dating?” He giggled stupidly.
“Yes.”
“No.” Yunho and I answered simultaneously. I pouted at him. “Dude, we’re not dating.”
Yunho rolled his eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry. Next time someone sticks their tongue down my throat, I won’t naturally assume we’re dating.” He grumbled like the sarcastic dick he is. “Especially when this happened immediately after a conversation where I asked said person to go out with me.”
“It was in the heat of the moment okay?!?” I cried. “And you were groping my ass, you pervert.”
“As I recall you ENJOYED my groping your ass.” He stuck his tongue out at me.
“A mememe me ME me mememe.” I mocked him childishly. “That’s what you sound like.”
“I do not. That’s what YOU sound like.” He spat, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re stupid.”
“Well, you’re a pervert! Don’t kiss people randomly out of the blue.” I snorted.
“Wow, this is amazing.” Changmin and Hyun Joong grinned, staring at us like we were some insanely interesting movie while eating their popcorn. Where the hell did they get popcorn?
“You can cut the sexual tension with a knife.” Hyun Joong added, before getting distracted by a sudden draft. Idiot.
“As I recall Jae, I didn’t kiss you.” Yunho smirked victoriously, completely ignoring the blithering idiots being stupid and smelly on my other couch. “YOU kissed ME.”
I scoffed. “I did not ki-” Oh crap. My eyes widened in realization and I gasped. I did kiss him. It was me. He just stopped half way and I did everything else. Oh my God. “I did.” I squeaked out. Yunho grinned triumphantly, and Hyun Joong applauded. Changmin grumbled something unintelligible. I wasn’t paying attention to them, because my mind was busy calculating what the hell all this meant. I kissed Yunho… well I’ve done it before, but this time I really wanted to do it. And I liked it. I liked it a lot. Even when he grabbed my butt. Oh no… It’s so obvious! How could I have missed this?
I was about to reach the conclusion when my brain shut down completely. My cheeks started to feel very hot, and I felt dizzy. This usually happens when I get sick. I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to collect my thoughts, and turn off the screeching headache invading my brain. “Jae?” Yunho watched me with this adorable worried expression on his face. He’s so cute. “Are you okay?”
I shook my head. “I think I’m sick.” I looked at the phone, expecting my mom to call me any second now.
“You look sick.” Changmin laughed, and I threw the tissue box back at his head, but he avoided it by moving his oversized head to the side. “Tsk, tsk. Violence doesn’t solve anything Joongie.” I cringed.
“Don’t call me that.” I groaned, as Yunho turned me around to face him on the couch. He’s so handsome and nice. I blinked at him. Did he always have a glowing halo around him? Yunho pushed my bangs away from my forehead and pressed his against it. “What are you doing?” I sounded very hazy, and dumbstruck.
“You have a fever…” He mumbled distractedly, his forehead still glued to mine. “You’re really burning up, Baby.”
…
Baby?
“AAAAAAWWWWWW!” Hyun Joong squealed in an unnaturally high pitch.
“Can you guys stop being all romantic for two seconds so we can discuss what to do?” Min growled unhappily. Yunho scooched to the other end of the couch and brought my head down to rest it on his lap. Aw… Yunho’s the best.
“What is there to discuss?” I mumbled into Yunho’s thigh. His big muscly thighs. I giggled at the thought, and hugged his leg.
“Stupid. We have to prep you! You can’t just talk to vampires like they’re normal people! There are rules! RULES!” Changmin cried dramatically. “It won’t be long before they use their super speed to get here and make conversation!”
“Then why aren’t they coming over now?” Yunho sighed. He started playing with my hair. It felt nice. Maybe I’ll take a nap here.
“Silly Yunho… They’re probably changing their clothes.” Hyun Joong shrugged. “They’re a very fashion conscientious people.” He looked around suddenly with his ADD challenged mind. “Oh. Someone’s on the stairs.”
“Aw crap.” Changmin groaned. “I thought we’d have more time to prepare for this. They usually take much longer than this.” He explained. “What with Heechul, and how everybody’s supposed to match with what he’s wearing and-” The doorbell rang loudly, making my head hurt. “Oh, that’s them. Jae, stop lazing around and answer the door. And please, try not to be a COMPLETE asshole.”
I pouted at him. “But I’m comfy…” I mumbled, hugging Yunho’s leg tighter. “And if anyone here’s an asshole it’s you.”
My getting up turned out to be unnecessary, because Yoochun threw the door open and burst dramatically into the room, dragging his luggage behind him. He gave one look at me lying on Yunho’s leg, and escaped into the bedroom. “Don’t say hi to us or anything.” Hyun Joong called after him.
He poked his head out of our room and glared at me. “Jae’s sick. You don’t want to be around when he’s sick.” He huffed, and went back into his room.
The phone rang. “I guess I really am sick.” I grumbled and reached for the phone on our coffee table. “Hey Mom.”
“BABY! You’re sick aren’t you? What was the point of letting Yunho live with you if he’s not going to take care of you? Put him on the phone.” She shrieked angrily on the other line.
“How did you know I was sick anyway?” I inquired of her.
“Mother’s intuition.”
“Why are you even up at this time?” I asked her.
“Can’t a mother call up her son at late hours in the night without said son being unreasonably suspicious? Now, hand the phone over to Yunho. You’re obviously delirious.”
“I’m fine… Yunho’s taking care of me plenty.” I winked at Yunho. He bit his lower lip and blushed. Aw… “I think it’s just a cold.”
“HAH! You think it’s just a cold, so you don’t take care of it and it becomes the flu, but it’s just a flu right? WRONG! It’s pneumonia! And two weeks later you’re lying on your deathbed telling your husband you loved him and to open that safety deposit box that gives him precise instruction to the big secret you’ve kept hidden from him for 40 years.” She scoffed long-windedly. “So put Yunho on the phone!”
“She wants to talk to you.” I handed him the phone. “Careful… She’s on crazy pills.”
“I HEARD THAT!” Mom’s voice crackled from the phone.
“LOVE YOU MOM!” I called. Yunho laughed, and started talking to my mom. She clearly wasn’t even the slightest bit angry at him, because he had a huge grin plastered on his face. He has a nice smile. And a handsome face. I sighed.
Yoochun walked out of our room and came to sit between Min and Hyun Joong, sending me disgusted glares every now and then. I turned away from Yunho and made eye-contact with him. He squeaked and almost jumped onto Changmin’s lap. “Don’t do that!” He screamed at me.
“Dude what is wrong with you?” Changmin slid away from him like he was afraid Yoochun was a carrier of some fatal transmissible disease. “Jae what’s wrong with him?”
“I don’t know.” I huffed, going back to my shameless ogling. Yunho looks pretty awesome in that light.
He hung up the phone, and turned to look at me. “What?” He stuttered, touching his face. “Do I have something on my face?”
“Yes… You have handsome on your face.” I giggled, and turned away embarrassed.
“Oh, we’re in the clear. Jae’s latched on to Yunho now.” Yoochun sighed in relief.
“Why can’t Jaejoong look at you?” Min asked him.
Chun turned to him and sneered superiorly. “You mean… You don’t know?” He received a tissue box to the forehead. “HEY!”
“You deserved that.”
“DON’T THROW BOXES AT MY BEAUTIFUL HEAD!”
“I didn’t throw a box at your beautiful head. I threw one at your BIG FAT GINORMOUS FOREHEAD!”
“THOSE THREE WORDS ARE SINONYMS! AND MY FOREHEAD IS THE PERFECT SIZE AND HEIGHT!”
“Yes… IN GINORMOUS LAND!”
“SHUT UP!”
“YOU SHUT UP!”
“Both of you shut the hell up!” Yunho growled angrily at them. Hihihi, his angry voice is so sexy. I think something in my head has gone bonkers… but I don’t particularly care right now. Sigh. “Jaejoong’s sick.”
“I know.” My childhood friend turned to glare at Changmin. “And if you MUST know, when Jae gets sick he thinks the first thing he sees has to take care of him. He’s like a baby duck that way.”
“Oh, ew. Jaejoong don’t look at me.” Changmin smirked.
“But doesn’t that just mean that Jaejoong would want to spend more time with that person.” Hyun Joong mused. Yoochun and Changmin blinked in confusion. “So, wouldn’t he or she be the lucky recipient of the much coveted Jae honey?” He sighed in his usual incomprehensible manner.
“He does make sense… oddly enough.” Changmin pondered aloud.
“Jae honey?” Yunho breathed disbelievingly. “What is that some kind of code for sex I haven’t heard about?” Hihihihihi, Yunho said sex. I sat up and hugged his chest.
“I think Yunho already won this one.” Hyun Joong shrugged.
“NOOO!” Yoochun cried dramatically. Changmin grabbed him by the collar before he could throw himself at me. Chun groaned unhappily. “LET GO YOU BIG APE!” Then Changmin did something that shocked all of us, even Hyun Joong, into a state of absolute stillness. He grabbed Yoochun’s face and kissed him. Like… just… kissed him. We all just stared dumbfounded as Min pulled away from my roommate, and they had a string of saliva connecting them to each other. It was quite gross. We were all very flabbergasted.
The extremely long awkward silence ended when I sneezed so hard I felt my brain explode through my nose. Yunho handed me a tissue, like the awesome sexy gentleman he is. Hihihi, Yunho’s so awesome. “Thank you.”
“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU FREAKISHLY TALL FART HEAD?!?” Yoochun screamed suddenly, backing as far away from Changmin as he possibly could in the living room.
Min blinked up at us in confusion. Hyun Joong sat on the arm of my sofa, and squinted at Changmin, for once entirely focused on one thing. It was really weird. “Did… Did I do that?” Min asked, his eyes begging us to deny it. Yunho and I nodded unsurely. “Why… Why would I-” He interrupted himself when Yoochun shuffled a bit where he was cowering frightfully. He froze in his spot as Changmin stared at him unflinchingly. “You smell REALLY good.”
“Stop staring at me! I’m not a piece of meat for you to ogle!” Yoochun cried, covering his non-existent breasts. Did I really use to think Yoochun was cool? When did he become this big annoying wuss?
“Min… When’s the last time you ate?” Hyun asked him. What the hell does that have to do with anything?
“I don’t know… Lunch?” The half-breed mumbled without tearing his eyes away from our roommate.
“You haven’t fed him since lunch?” Hyun Joong screamed at Yunho and I, flailing his arms hyperactively.
“We haven’t eaten either! We were trying to get this idiot to understand math!” Yunho pouted. Aw. Wait a minute…
“I’m not an idiot!” I pursed my lips unhappily.
“Yes, you are Jae.” Yunho said sweetly, patting my hair. “You think Jaeho is acceptable, when clearly it’s not.”
“Jaeho is the only way to go.” I glared at him challengingly.
Hyun Joong shook his head at us disapprovingly. “You’re stupid Jae. It’s OBVIOUSLY Yunjae.” Changmin nodded without interrupting his ogling.
“Okay, HOW is it obviously Yunjae? In what possible universe does Yunjae make sense?” I huffed.
“In EVERY universe.” Yunho smirked.
“Yeah, Yunho’s name has to come first.” Changmin mumbled.
Hyun Joong nodded in agreement. “Uh-huh. The first name of a pairing is always the one that can most believable rape the other.”
“So you’re saying that Yunho would most believably rape me?!? THAT’s your criteria for whose name comes first?”
“Jae, tell him to stop staring at me.” Yoochun whimpered annoyingly, interrupting our heated discussion.
I looked over at Changmin disinterestedly. “Min, stop staring at Yoochun.” He didn’t listen to me. “Min, listen.” I turned over to poke Min, but couldn’t reach him. I groaned. “Min, can you come closer so I can poke you, so you can listen to me?” He ignored me again. Okay, he was starting to piss me off. I got off Yunho’s lap, and tackled him down. “I SAID TO LISTEN TO ME!”
“GET OFF ME YOU MONKEY!” We wrestled like a couple of idiots on the floor, with Yunho and Hyun Joong trying to separate us by screaming things about peace.
Changmin managed to push me against the floor. He snarled angrily at me, and I almost crapped my pants. He had his pointy teeth out, and his eyes were throbbing red. “HOLY SHIT!” I screamed at him, and promptly punched him in the face.
His eyes and teeth went back to normal. “Ow!” He pouted, rubbing the spot where I’d punched him. “What the hell man? Was that really necessary?”
“Uh… Yeah. You went all pseudo-vampire freak on me.” I told him. “You deserved that punch to the face.”
“I did not! I would’ve totally calmed down in like five seconds.” Min yelled at me. “You’re just violent for absolutely no reason.”
I sighed. I would have usually argued back or something, but my head really hurt, so I just lay listlessly against the back of the couch. Yunho patted my head from where he was sitting. “You want me to get you some Tylenol?” He asked me all sweet-like, and I nodded. He kissed the top of my head, and went into the kitchen. I think, in his mind we’re already dating or something. He should make me soup too.
I sneezed again. And Yoochun jumped up in surprise. “Dude! Do you HAVE to sneeze so loud?!?” I wanted to yell back that I hadn’t done it on purpose, but I settled on shooting him a glare.
Changmin went back to staring at Yoochun like a tiger observing an antelope. “Chun, are you like a rare blood type or something?” I asked him.
“How in hell should I know?” Yoochun spat at me angrily. He recoiled from Changmin’s intense gaze. “STOP IT!”
“Will you guys feed him something before he attacks Yoochun and rips his throat out?” Hyun Joong shouted at us, but it was too late. Changmin flung himself at Yoochun who let out a blood curling scream, and failed miserably to duck for cover. “OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT!”
“CHANGMIN GET OFF YOOCHUN!” I got off the floor, and tried to pull Changmin off of Chun. He had somehow pinned the poor boy to the ground, and had taken a giant bite out of his neck. “Oh my God, Min, stop eating him!” The half-crazed half-vamp would not budge no matter how hard I pulled. I shot Hyun Joong a glare. “HELP ME!”
Yunho walked in with a glass of water and some Tylenol. “Oh shit!”
“Yes, I too am of that opinion.” Hyun Joong smiled brightly. I didn’t see what Yun threw at him.
I’m pretty sure he put the water and pills down, before he came over and hugged me by the waist. I was about to shout that this was no time to be all lovey-dovey, but he started pulling to get Changmin off Yoochun. And then… Yoochun moaned. Ugh… I just vomited a little in my mouth. Yun and I immediately stopped tugging and scooted back ten feet away. “What the hell was that?” I shouted at them.
“STOP LAZING AROUND! DISTRACT MIN WITH SOME FOOD BEFORE HE SUCKS HIM DRY!” Hyun Joong shouted at us. Why do we have to do everything while he just stands there flailing his arms?
Yunho seemed to have an ‘aha’ moment. He went to the coat rack and pulled out my Reese’s from his jacket pocket. “HEY CHANGMIN!” He shouted, momentarily distracting our vampiric friend. Yunho tossed the chocolate at him. I mourned it as it made a perfect arch and landed in Min’s undeserving hands. He ripped open the packaging with his teeth and started voraciously chomping on the delectable peanut butter cups. A lone manly tear slid down my cheek. My chocolate… Why did it have to be sacrificed? WHY CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?!?
There was blood all over Min’s face, but he seemed to have calmed down. His eyes were brown again, and he just sat there eating MY chocolate like he hadn’t just tried to suck Yoochun dry… Oh God, not like that you perverts!
~~~
13
A/N:I'm baaaaack~ ish... Sorry this took for-frigging-EVER to post! Who knew school took so much concentration? I've only skipped ONE class this semester. Can you believe that? It's soooo weiiiiiiird~ AND! Me and my friend found this ossum Kpop store in Chinatown and spend eons in there looking for DBSK merchandise! I bought a JYJ phone strap and it broke and i''ve been mourning it since yesterday. We almost bought bags and such, but they weren't pretty. we'll be going back soooooon~ Anywhooooo~ ENJOY! and THNX FOR READING! The next chap will be coming out sooner i think, cuz this was sort of a filler i realized after i was 10 pages into my word document.