(no subject)
Being in this music class today made me want to curl up and die. I feel like I'm past my prime. I've already gone past the point where I had to start becoming a real musician, and now I should just give up. I used to know so many things, but they are all hard to recall now. My confidence is so shaken that I am afraid to say anything. I'll probably just sound ignorant. I'm stuck at this place now where I know more than the basics, but nothing in depth. I'm frustrated and weepy, and I don't know what's going to make me happy. I'm tired, my work schedule sucks. I'm lonely, as usual. I really wonder if other people feel this way. Does it feel like the friends you have at home are just so much better than anyone you could ever meet here? Because thats how I feel about almost everyone here. Everything is superficial, my relationships are superficial. I'd probably be happier working at Starbucks 24/7, everyone likes you, but you can't have a conversation that lasts more than five minutes. I just sigh a lot.