Jesus Freak
So, two weeks ago, I went to Philly for spring break for a Christian missions trip. It was my first one. And I pretty much cried every day, but in a good way. The area we were in, and the people we met, were just so heartbreaking. The faith of both my peers, and some of the homeless people we met was also just so amazing and inspiring. I really got closer to God. But I lost it when I came back. I talked with a lot of kids in ACF and the missions trip, and regained it, but am still on the way to becoming a better follower of Jesus.
or in AIM terms:
(12:11:20 AM) John: Trisha! How was the mission trip?
(12:12:33 AM) Trish: it was pretty amazing
(12:13:06 AM) John: Do you think you could hit me with a stream-of-counciousness about it?
(12:13:34 AM) Trish: i mean
(12:14:44 AM) Trish: so, i was with a bunch of people of really strong faith, so it was pretty inspiring, just singing and praying with them
(12:14:49 AM) Trish: we did outreach and homeless ministry and like
(12:14:53 AM) Trish: i normally imagine as like
(12:14:58 AM) Trish: here's food, believe in jesus, kbye!
(12:15:34 AM) Trish: but before the trip, some guy in charge of outreach here, he explained what outreach should be
(12:15:44 AM) Trish: which is taking an interest in people's welfare and just praying for them
(12:16:06 AM) Trish: or introducing the gospel if they're open to it
(12:16:15 AM) Trish: and that was just an amazing experience
(12:16:19 AM) Trish: just like, hearing people's stories and like
(12:16:31 AM) Trish: some people were of faith, and their faith was just so strong and amazing
(12:16:46 AM) Trish: we also worked with kids who were from broken homes, and that was really heartbreaking
(12:16:55 AM) Trish: i swear i cried every night
(12:17:01 AM) Trish: just from like, my heart being broken
(12:17:04 AM) Trish: in a good way
(12:17:20 AM) Trish: a few days after the trip i had a break in faith, kind of like a
(12:17:36 AM) Trish: is god even real? was jesus legit?
(12:17:54 AM) Trish: and as i talked to people and things, i've slowly been regaining faith
(12:18:34 AM) Trish: like, the christian life just is.. the way i want to live life
(12:18:44 AM) Trish: it just makes sense, and is the only thing i want to do
--
but I guess I wanted to explain a little more, because I know a lot of my friends have gone into a "has she gone crazy?" kind of shock mode.
I talked with my mom after the trip, and she shared something with me that she never has before. I always knew she had complications before my sister was born, but apparently those weren't the only ones she had. In vague terms, it was pretty much a miracle that I was born... and I feel so blessed for my life.
And when I look at what I have, and the people I have in my life, I feel nothing but blessed. I really have done nothing to deserve all the love and attention I've been given. Every day, I just thank God for everything.. because how am I any different than the people on the street, or born with less supportive parents, or were in a worse neighborhood?
Also, just the gifts I've been given. Other kids have been through the same experiences as I have.. what made it so that I came out with a kind heart, and them with intentions of shooting up schools? I've never had that intense desire to fit in and go along with peer pressure (although everyone obviously has a desire to have friends in general), and I praise God for my uniqueness. I've never had to worry about makeup or trying to artificially improve my looks, because I wasn't born with any defects or anything similar to that.. and I eat so badly and don't exercise, yet have had few health complications due to that. I am so undeserving of my body, and my heart. And my mind. I look back on what I did in high school, and I used to be prideful of what I had accomplished, 5th in my class, in charge of multiple activities, etc. But I trained myself just as hard when I was little as a lot of other people, did workbook, played piano.. what makes me more capable than them? And now in college, I let my intelligence go to waste, not spending as much time on classes as I know I should be, getting bad grades..
And lastly, the opportunities I've been given and decisions I've been faced with. I've always seen myself as a "backseat leader". I take leadership roles when no one else wants them and when those in charge are crying desperately for help. But how did I become that way? It was the opportunities I was given throughout my life that let me be in charge. And recently, they've been showing up again. Activities that need to be planned, clubs that need someone to help take charge of one aspect. And the important decisions I've had to make have always been easy, always one clear choice. acceptance into CMU and it being a clear choice of college, acceptance into GSET with nothing else to do that summer, acceptance into internships for the past three summers that have had no competition. I've never even had to make a difficult choice between two things I've really wanted, it's just always worked out. And whether or not you choose to believe that's God leading my life, or just circumstances, I feel blessed. How is it that one school, or company, out of all the ones similar in comparison to it, chooses me? Did I deserve to get into CMU, or receive an internship offer, more than the people who applied as well as me? I really doubt it. I honestly think it's the grace of God that's led me along in life.
So, yeah. This was for me just as much as it was for everyone else -- because I sometimes forget how amazing God is and how he's worked in my life. You can call it extreme luck, while I choose to call it God, but I know there's no way I could've ended up where I am now without guidance. Next stop in my life? Hopefully homeless ministry in San Francisco.
or in AIM terms:
(12:11:20 AM) John: Trisha! How was the mission trip?
(12:12:33 AM) Trish: it was pretty amazing
(12:13:06 AM) John: Do you think you could hit me with a stream-of-counciousness about it?
(12:13:34 AM) Trish: i mean
(12:14:44 AM) Trish: so, i was with a bunch of people of really strong faith, so it was pretty inspiring, just singing and praying with them
(12:14:49 AM) Trish: we did outreach and homeless ministry and like
(12:14:53 AM) Trish: i normally imagine as like
(12:14:58 AM) Trish: here's food, believe in jesus, kbye!
(12:15:34 AM) Trish: but before the trip, some guy in charge of outreach here, he explained what outreach should be
(12:15:44 AM) Trish: which is taking an interest in people's welfare and just praying for them
(12:16:06 AM) Trish: or introducing the gospel if they're open to it
(12:16:15 AM) Trish: and that was just an amazing experience
(12:16:19 AM) Trish: just like, hearing people's stories and like
(12:16:31 AM) Trish: some people were of faith, and their faith was just so strong and amazing
(12:16:46 AM) Trish: we also worked with kids who were from broken homes, and that was really heartbreaking
(12:16:55 AM) Trish: i swear i cried every night
(12:17:01 AM) Trish: just from like, my heart being broken
(12:17:04 AM) Trish: in a good way
(12:17:20 AM) Trish: a few days after the trip i had a break in faith, kind of like a
(12:17:36 AM) Trish: is god even real? was jesus legit?
(12:17:54 AM) Trish: and as i talked to people and things, i've slowly been regaining faith
(12:18:34 AM) Trish: like, the christian life just is.. the way i want to live life
(12:18:44 AM) Trish: it just makes sense, and is the only thing i want to do
--
but I guess I wanted to explain a little more, because I know a lot of my friends have gone into a "has she gone crazy?" kind of shock mode.
I talked with my mom after the trip, and she shared something with me that she never has before. I always knew she had complications before my sister was born, but apparently those weren't the only ones she had. In vague terms, it was pretty much a miracle that I was born... and I feel so blessed for my life.
And when I look at what I have, and the people I have in my life, I feel nothing but blessed. I really have done nothing to deserve all the love and attention I've been given. Every day, I just thank God for everything.. because how am I any different than the people on the street, or born with less supportive parents, or were in a worse neighborhood?
Also, just the gifts I've been given. Other kids have been through the same experiences as I have.. what made it so that I came out with a kind heart, and them with intentions of shooting up schools? I've never had that intense desire to fit in and go along with peer pressure (although everyone obviously has a desire to have friends in general), and I praise God for my uniqueness. I've never had to worry about makeup or trying to artificially improve my looks, because I wasn't born with any defects or anything similar to that.. and I eat so badly and don't exercise, yet have had few health complications due to that. I am so undeserving of my body, and my heart. And my mind. I look back on what I did in high school, and I used to be prideful of what I had accomplished, 5th in my class, in charge of multiple activities, etc. But I trained myself just as hard when I was little as a lot of other people, did workbook, played piano.. what makes me more capable than them? And now in college, I let my intelligence go to waste, not spending as much time on classes as I know I should be, getting bad grades..
And lastly, the opportunities I've been given and decisions I've been faced with. I've always seen myself as a "backseat leader". I take leadership roles when no one else wants them and when those in charge are crying desperately for help. But how did I become that way? It was the opportunities I was given throughout my life that let me be in charge. And recently, they've been showing up again. Activities that need to be planned, clubs that need someone to help take charge of one aspect. And the important decisions I've had to make have always been easy, always one clear choice. acceptance into CMU and it being a clear choice of college, acceptance into GSET with nothing else to do that summer, acceptance into internships for the past three summers that have had no competition. I've never even had to make a difficult choice between two things I've really wanted, it's just always worked out. And whether or not you choose to believe that's God leading my life, or just circumstances, I feel blessed. How is it that one school, or company, out of all the ones similar in comparison to it, chooses me? Did I deserve to get into CMU, or receive an internship offer, more than the people who applied as well as me? I really doubt it. I honestly think it's the grace of God that's led me along in life.
So, yeah. This was for me just as much as it was for everyone else -- because I sometimes forget how amazing God is and how he's worked in my life. You can call it extreme luck, while I choose to call it God, but I know there's no way I could've ended up where I am now without guidance. Next stop in my life? Hopefully homeless ministry in San Francisco.