Pulsatilla | Chapter 10/?

[love_cassiopeia]

Pulsatilla
Author: love_cassiopeia
Summary: A complete mess was what Jung Yunho became after his beloved wife’s death. Trapped in a permanent state of isolation and loneliness, Yunho summons his knowledge on biology in hopes of recreating his wife in the form of an artificial human. However, the experiment goes terribly wrong and instead creates a male who has all his wife’s looks and qualities, one who he eventually decides to name ‘Jaejoong.’ Coping with the idyllic memories Jaejoong brings back of his wife, Yunho tries his best not to fall in love with his creation, knowing that the love he brings along is not the real thing-or is it?
Rated: PG-13 - NC-17
Warning(s): NC-17 material, language
Genre: Romance/Angst
Pairing(s): YunJae
Chapter 10: Soupçonneux

Definition: The Pulsatilla is a deciduous perennial flower native to Europe and Asia that grows in the leftover nutrients of a dead plant. It is usually grown to replace another plant. It is capable of curing diseases and may be used in remedies.





S o u p ç o n n e u x

*

It nearly felt like an impractical fairytale, living with Yunho for the past few months. Jaejoong was pleased to discover that Yunho’s workload had become a lot lighter, and therefore he had more quality time in his hands to spend with him. Although he enjoyed the time they spent together to the last second, Jaejoong felt something oddly peculiar about their relationship. Surely they were enjoying every last moment together, stealing each other’s lips with each opportunity they received. What was so obscure was how utterly blissful it felt. It felt good-too good, or rather, too good to be true. It was almost as if the two of them were trying their best to ignore the obstacles that were standing before their relationship in the beginning, thinking that by ignoring them, they would somehow disappear entirely. It was a foolish thought, Jaejoong understood. Nonetheless, nearly being in heaven, he chose to ignore the strange sentiment that constantly lingered in his head, knowing it was much wiser of him to look on the bright side.

Yunho on the other hand, took the strange precautions and warnings in the back of his mind even more lightly than Jaejoong did. During the previous three months, he felt that his life had undergone a drastic transformation-a rebirth. The once dark and gloomy atmosphere that surrounded his mind was now banned from the world, replaced by a warm, blinding light that coerced him into waking up every morning, reminding him that the day ahead of him was worth living.

He understood perfectly that such a miraculous transformation wouldn’t have occurred if it wasn’t for Jaejoong. The boy had offered him everything he needed and more from the day he was born, staging a personality which Yunho couldn’t help but fall for in the end. In the mornings, it was his kisses which woke him up from his deep slumber. In the day, while Yunho was away it work, it was he who cleaned up the house from head to toe, making sure Yunho wouldn’t have to worry about the condition of the house himself. At night, it was he who Yunho was surrounded in within the sheets, sewing their hearts together passionately as they made love over and over again. With their relationship reaching new heights, Yunho knew that now, despite whether Jaejoong was human or not, he could fully open himself up to the boy to accept him for who he was.

He knew however, that it was impossible for Jaejoong to provide him the future Seulki would’ve once provided. Seulki was capable of having children, of carrying on heirs-of making Yunho’s parents proud. Jaejoong on the other hand, had all her qualities and yet none of them. It was almost as if Jaejoong lived only to incite a temporary emotion. Yunho could sleep with Jaejoong all he wanted, but never would a child emerge as a result of their lovemaking. It was more than difficult for him to admit it, but Jaejoong was only here to make him happy-he wasn’t here to solve all of his problems.

It was a cloudy Saturday morning when Yunho received a phone call from one of his closest friends, Park Yoochun-whom he hadn’t spoken to for a few years. Having no idea what he had in store, Yunho picked up the phone eagerly, enthusiastic to finally converse with the friend he had missed dearly, and to see what he was up to after years of being apart.

“Yoochun! How have you been?” Yunho answered exuberantly, curious of his friend’s whereabouts. “Long time no talk, eh?”

A vociferous chuckle arrived on the other end of the line. “You know, for a widower, you don’t sound half bad.”

Deciding that it was irrelevant, Yunho chose not to bring up the subject of Jaejoong. “I’ve learned to cope with it.” He replied straightforwardly.

“Whoa, what happened to the gloomy man who was unenthusiastic to say anything just because his ‘precious wife’ died, huh?” Yoochun teased, having no regard for Yunho’s emotions. “Perhaps you aren’t as loyal to Seulki as you claimed you were, after all.”

Yunho rolled in his eyes in aggravation. “Can we get off the subject, please?” He begged. “By the way, why the hell are you calling me? Please tell me that you’re not here to just condemn me for being a bad husband.”

Yoochun scoffed. “That, and because I’m currently in Seoul at the moment.” He clarified. “I figured that the two of us should meet somewhere.”

“Sure.” Yunho permitted. “Where and when?”

“Tonight, at Aphrodite’s Café-just a few blocks away from the town square.”

Yunho nodded, knowing Jaejoong would certainly allow him to go due to all the time the two had been spending recently. “I’ll be there.” Yunho declared, taking the chance as a wonderful opportunity to catch up with his old friend.

“Oh, and Yunho…” Yoochun trailed off. “I will be bringing someone whom I think you should meet at the café, is that all right?”

Yoochun’s statement caught him completely off-guard. “Someone I need to know?”

“Yes, and considering that you’re doing pretty well without your wife, I thought it was quite appropriate for you to get back into the routine of dating.” Yoochun explained. “Besides, I’m sure you will like this girl-she’s absolutely gorgeous!”

Bewildered by the words that he heard, Yunho had quite a difficult time trying to reply his friend. “W-what? You want to introduce me to someone, now?”

“Why not?” Yoochun was quite taken back by Yunho’s uncertain response. “You need someone to take care of you, to give you children. You can’t live by yourself in that empty penthouse of yours forever, you know!”

Yunho was thunderstruck by the impulsive request. “B-but… Yoochun, why are we so eager?”

“Oh c’mon Yunho, don’t tell me you haven’t been the least bit lonely, living all by yourself this past year!” Yoochun accused. “Well, unless… you’re already seeing someone new…”

“N-no Yoochun, you’ve got it all wrong.” Yunho felt rather cruel, saying the fictitious words when in fact, Jaejoong really was the person he had been ‘seeing’ these past few months. But no matter how much he wished he could, he just couldn’t tell Yoochun the truth. If he was to divulge the truth in any way, he would have to provide Yoochun with a plausible explanation. And even if he tried to explain the whole situation, would Yoochun even believe any of it?

“Then what’s keeping you from attending this date, Yunho?” Yoochun and his questions came bouncing back time after time, despite Yunho’s petulance. “Don’t tell me you’re still hung over Seulki’s death! I thought you were much stronger than that!”

The scientist felt as if his head was ready to explode, hearing these indictments from Yoochun as a myriad of contradictions bellowed ardently inside his mind. “It’s not Seulki, Yoochun… it’s just…” Would it be okay for Jaejoong? He wanted to say, but couldn’t find the courage to. Would he be jealous if I went out on a blind date?

“Oh Yunho, you’re not like this, I know you aren’t.” Yoochun denied. “You know better than to let the paranoia get to you, I know that.” He claimed. “What happened to the fun, keen, unhesitant Yunho that I shared laughs with everyday a few years ago?”

Yunho sighed, knowing there was no better option for him. “I’ll be there, all right?” He assured. “But the main reason why I’m going is to see you again. Meeting that girl will come second.”

“Aw, Yunho, that’s so sweet! But really, I don’t need the flattery.” Yoochun spurned in response. “If you want to make me happy, just talk to the girl I’ll bring along. I guarantee that you won’t be disappointed by her. I chose her for you, after all.”

“Yes, you, the never-resting playboy who has no idea what true marriage and commitment means, chose her for me.”

Yoochun let a laugh travel through his lips. “Oh you know me so well, dear friend.”

“Of course. I probably know you much better than you know yourself.”

“If what you say is true, then you have to trust me on this one.” Yoochun affirmed. “I’m only setting up this date as a plan to help you-as a plan to get you back into dating and the game of love. I would hate to see you end up alone in your apartment at an old age, with no one to accompany you but fifteen cats.”

“Go to hell, Yoochun. I don’t have any intention of becoming an old lady any time soon.”

“Well, if you don’t, then attend this blind date.”

“It’s not a blind date.”

“All right, all right, whatever you say!” Yoochun replied indifferently. “I’ve got better things to do than sit here, arguing with you about such ridiculous matters. I’ll see you tonight.”

Yunho nodded. “See you.”

A part of the scientist was relieved that the phone call had finally come to a conclusion, but as soon as Yoochun hung up, he was inundated by questions concerning Jaejoong and how he would feel about the matter. Still, he tried telling himself that the meeting with Yoochun was only to provide time for the two old friends to catch up, not to provide a stage for a romantic relationship to blossom. Yunho liked to believe that his friendship with Yoochun was far more serious than he meeting a potential lover. Deep down however, he knew he would have no luck, having Jaejoong locked up in his apartment and keeping him a secret for eternity.

Finished with his phone call, Yunho turned around in his office armchair, manoeuvring himself so he faced the exit of the office. Staggering him unexpectedly, Jaejoong stood in the doorway with an enquiring look on his face that clearly stated he had heard a few snippets of his conversation with Yoochun moments ago.

“God Jaejoong, don’t scare me like tha-”

“Who was that?” Jaejoong chose to ignore Yunho’s remark entirely, focusing solely on his inquiry.

“An old friend… Park Yoochun…” Yunho trailed off, a bit frightened to raise the volume of his voice. “I’m going to be having dinner with him tonight, is that all right?”

There was a certain flicker of irritation in Jaejoong’s eyes that stated he was still unsatisfied with the scientist’s answer. “Is it a date?”

Discovering the amount of information Jaejoong had overheard, Yunho tried his best to remain confident, but failed miserably. “N-no… of course not!” He uttered doubtfully. “Um… it was just a mistake in my speech, that’s all.”

Jaejoong lifted an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

“Of course.” Yunho resolutely stood up from his large office chair and put his arm around Jaejoong’s shoulder casually. He was still shocked at how utterly dubious and ridiculous Jaejoong was turning out to be. “I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to eat dinner at home tonight. Take the time to enjoy yourself.”

“But if I don’t cook, what will I do?” Jaejoong asked childishly.

Yunho fetched his wallet from a nearby counter, pulling out a few paper bills which he anticipated would exhilarate Jaejoong’s dismal mindset. “Here.” He offered him the portion of money. “Go to the nearby video store tonight and rent yourself a movie.” Yunho suggested. “You can order some food from a restaurant too… just-don’t forget to enjoy yourself, you deserve it.”

Jaejoong accepted the money fretfully, unsure why Yunho’s suggestion to enjoy himself freely tonight was hurting him so severely. Surely he couldn’t help that Yunho’s friend had invited him personally to go to dinner, and that he could never stand between a friendship that lasted far longer than the ephemeral romance between the two of them. No matter how lonely and disregarded he felt, he had to accept the money, take Yunho’s advice, and spend it on a night dedicated to himself solely.

As the sun set into the horizon that evening, Yunho ransacked through his closet for a presentable outfit to wear to the blind date. It was obvious that he didn’t plan to meet anyone eligible during such an unexpected event, but he knew that it was always a man’s priority to present himself attractively and benevolently before a lady. Throwing a light jacket over his short sleeved polo for protection against the evening city winds, Yunho inspected himself in the mirror, realizing just how easy it was nowadays for him to capture the heart of a woman. Although he was currently in his late twenties and unenthusiastically anticipating his thirties, his looks were no doubt still radiant and fresh, showing no signs of aging. His body was also in perfect shape despite the amount of processed foods he ate and the diminutive share of fruits and vegetables he received occasionally. He liked to think that even after going through hell for a few years and being stuck with an ethical-but beautiful-woman for a while, he was still the same old flirtatious Yunho he was before. With that outlook, he felt as if he was doing the right thing, falling in love with Jaejoong.

Fixing his hair absentmindedly, Yunho exited his bedroom and headed straight to the front door of the apartment, planning to leave-that is, until he stumbled upon the curious, piercing glare of Jaejoong’s for the second time today.

“Don’t stay out too long.” Jaejoong cautioned. “I want you to come to bed with still a bit of energy left within you.”

Yunho chuckled nonstop at Jaejoong’s witty hint. “If that’s the case, then I will eat lots at the restaurant to build up my strength for our night together!” He retorted. “How about that?”

Jaejoong swiftly went along with the joke and laughed accordingly. Inside his mind however, he sensed something was terribly wrong-almost as if Yunho wasn’t telling him enough.

The boy had to admit it; he had heard fragments of Yunho’s conversation on the phone, though he really had no intention to. It was a coincidence that he arrived at Yunho’s office at the inopportune time, having to hear what he could out of the scientist’s words as his curiosity took over him, inch by inch.

“Yunho, I have one more thing to ask you.”

By the solemn tone of Jaejoong’s voice, Yunho tensed up, wondering if his question had anything to do with the ‘blind date’ he was coerced to go on. He yearned to tell Jaejoong the truth, that there was indeed a woman he would have to acquaint himself with at the dinner. What he couldn’t find was the courage to break the rules to him-the news that had the potential of shattering his fragile heart.

“Yes, what is it?”

Seeing his uneasy expression and the uneasiness in his stance, Jaejoong wondered if questioning the man about his motives would be too officious of him or not. Besides, Yunho had told him the truth hours ago-that he was meeting with an old friend, nothing more. He wanted to impel himself to trust Yunho, but sadly, the task was easier said than done.

“It’s-nothing.” Jaejoong replied mundanely, trying to create a content façade to disguise the suspicion in his heart. “Just, don’t forget to have fun!”

Yunho nodded satisfyingly, replying Jaejoong’s radiant smile with one of his own. “Will do.” He agreed before he resolutely stepped out of the apartment, embarking on a journey that he didn’t exactly sign up for.

As the door slammed before him, Jaejoong was struck once again with the same, gloomy, horrifying feeling of being on his own. Without Yunho in the house (or even just beside him), he felt somewhat lost, like he had a part of him cleaved from him with a sharp knife. He couldn’t blame the loneliness for kicking in; in fact, it was his curiosity that wreaked havoc in his mind for now. He had suspicions about Yunho’s actual whereabouts and felt as if he could die without knowing the truth.

Deciding to acquire the verification on his own, Jaejoong left the apartment a few minutes after Yunho did, planning to follow his creator to wherever he was expecting to go. He didn’t feel very humane, following after his lover stealthily while trying to dig up unnecessary information. The way Yunho’s body tensed up and his mouth disclosed nervous laughs that attempted to cover something up was driving him insane, telling him that yes, he was indeed hiding something from him. Jaejoong liked to think he had an eye for these things-and that instinct, mixed with the overheard words from Yunho’s phone conversation, was more than enough to send chills throughout his entire body.

Not able to cope with it any longer, Jaejoong recklessly threw a thin jacket over his head and exited the penthouse, took the elevator down to the lobby, and set his sights of following the man who appeared so distrustful today. Catching sight of his husband, Jaejoong made a note to always keep himself hidden as he tailed closely behind him.

It wasn’t a likeable feeling, following someone so furtively and trying to probe for the answers secretly when the right thing to do was to approach him with confidence, asking him the questions face to face. No matter how immoral or how blameworthy he felt for doing this, he couldn’t help but continue. He had gotten this far already, after all.

The location of Aphrodite’s Café was only a short walking distance from their apartment complex, which explained why Yunho decided to walk instead of taking the car like he usually did. Classifying this as an advantage, Jaejoong made his way closer to Yunho, trying to be as silent as possible so that his presence couldn’t be perceived. Luckily, for the most part, Yunho was oblivious to his surroundings and continued to walk without any hesitation.

Jaejoong decided not to follow Yunho as he strolled into the small café. He reckoned that since the café had large transparent windows, he would be able to see Yunho clearly and what he was doing there. Making his way around the restaurant, Jaejoong attempted to find a reasonable place for him to perch so that Yunho would be within his eyesight and therefore, he could discern who the scientist was truly meeting.

It took him nearly five minutes to find an apt place to stay, for it was quite difficult, seeing Yunho clearly through the foggy windows. Once situated, Jaejoong hid behind a nearby bush, bringing his eyes upward towards the interior of the restaurant and realizing what was occurring.

There, within his clear view, was Yunho, chatting away with a woman his age, happily laughing and enjoying themselves to a full extent.

Would this woman be the friend Yunho had not seen for years? Jaejoong asked himself. Or is she someone much more than that…?

His answer was given as the woman placed her hands on Yunho’s arms, laughing gleefully as she flirted mischievously. Seeing the sight, Jaejoong understood this was exactly what he was looking for.

The scientist had lied when he said it was a meeting between friends… he had lied when he said it was not a date. Seeing the woman tease Yunho so playfully and seeing him reply her actions so benignly, Jaejoong understood everything he needed to understand.

Having no intention of gaping at the two of them any longer, Jaejoong decided to leave rapidly, knowing there was nothing left for him here.

He just couldn’t stand to see the sight a second time. Well, he could, but he would easily explode. He just wanted to get away, to get as far as possible and tell himself that this was not happening.

Just when the two of them were getting along so wonderfully, in steps another woman, claiming Yunho as her own without even making her presence clear to him. Then again, perhaps it wasn’t her fault-perhaps it was Yunho’s fault for deceiving him, for lifting his hopes up and then ultimately, letting them crash.

Jaejoong wanted to laugh at himself, at how pathetic he was. Surely he resembled Yunho’s wife to every last detail, but he was only an artificial human in the end. And that, along with his entire heart, was not apt for falling so much in love (which was a concept shared between two humans). He despised himself for thinking that he was really a human for the last few months just because Yunho treated him like one.

For the first time in what seemed like ages, Jaejoong was at a loss of what to do with his life.



Aphrodite’s Café was a small-yet decorative-neighbourhood café that was often filled with locals ranging from businessmen getting off work to teenagers socializing with their groups of friends. Yunho was confident as he walked into the familiar setting, searching through the dining room for his friend whom he was looking forward to seeing as soon as he saw his name light up on the LCD screen of his cell phone. He found the man within moments, his large forehead still just as wide, and his appearance, just as stunning.

It was not until later when Yunho realized that a long-haired, feminine-looking lady was sitting next to Yoochun. Baffled by the sight, Yunho’s confidence level immediately dropped, making him a bit hesitant as he strolled over to his designated table.

“Yunho, long time no see!” Yoochun burst out amiably. “How are you?”

Yoochun gave his friend a quick hug before finding his seat across the table from his friend and the woman he had brought along. Staring into the female’s eyes curiously, Yunho discovered that her appearance was one which corresponded his perfectly. She was the typical attractive woman-long black hair, large vibrant eyes, a height that was desirable but still a few inches shorter to consider it a woman’s. Taking one good glance at her, Yunho had her all figured out. She was a secretary who spent most of her money on designer clothing and handbags, with no clue how to work the stove and ate out every single day.

“I almost forgot! Yunho, meet Goh Ara-sshi.” Yoochun indicated to the attractive female beside him, whose face lighted up with a congenial smile. “She moved to Seoul a few weeks ago as a secretary, and she’s looking for an eligible partner. She’s interested in fashion and cuisine-but she’s never touched a stove in her entire life!”

Yunho wanted to roll his eyes but considered it inept for the atmosphere. So his predictions were right, all long. “Oh, great!” He replied ecstatically. If we ever got married, I’d be wasting my money on expensive apparel that she really doesn’t need! he wanted to add, but deciding against it, Yunho stated a cheerful “nice to meet you!” instead.

The woman-Yunho didn’t bother to remember her name-held out her hand requested a handshake. Yunho did as she requested, trying to act as polite as he could. Inside, he just wished the woman was gone so that he would attain time to catch up with his old friend. But in the end, wishes were just wishes.

Dumbfounding Yunho, Yoochun stood up from the table and prepared to leave. “Uh, Yunho, Ara, excuse me, but I’ll be going to the nearby grocery store to purchase some necessities.” He indicated with a mischievous grin on his lips. “It’s my first night in Seoul after all! It might take a while until I come back.” He added.

Yunho gave his friend a petulant glare. “What? You’re leaving the two of us already? I didn’t even have the opportunity to ask you-”

“Oh Yunho, don’t overanalyze things.” The shorter man responded. “The two of you need to get to know each other!”

“Yoochun-how could you leave so quickly? I-” Before finishing his sentence, Yoochun was already on his way out of the restaurant, leaving Yunho with a wink almost as if he intended to bestow him with good luck.

Seeing one of his closest college friends step out of the café, Yunho sighed and leaned back on his seat indolently. Perhaps he should plot the same scheme as Yoochun and lie his way out of the blind date he had been set up with. Perhaps he should abandon this altogether and head home to Jaejoong and spend a passionate night with him instead of being stuck here with a person he just wasn’t going to accept no matter how hard Yoochun tried pushing the two of them together.

“So, Yunho, I heard you’re a scientist.”

Distracting him from his inner reveries about the beautiful, talented, altruistic Jaejoong, the woman’s feminine voice made its appearance yet again. “Uh yes, that’s what I am!”

Without warning, a slender hand with long red fingernails crept up his elbows to caress his masculine forearms. “That’s quite a coincidence, because I myself have a thing for scientists.” She purred in response.

Yunho couldn’t hide the frightened expression on his face, even if he tried. “Oh, um… really! T-that’s interesting…”

“What I’m saying is,” the woman lowered her voice slightly. “The two of us would be perfect together.”

Yunho wanted to prevent her seductive voice from reaching his eardrums and her hands from caressing his biceps continuously. “You really think so?’ Yunho answered blankly, reluctant to provide the woman with a concrete answer.

“Of course.” She responded. “The two of us would be absolutely compatible, don’t you know? You’re a sophisticated, suave man while I’m an attractive, confident woman. We’re a match made in heaven.” She giggled flirtatiously, causing Yunho to have no choice but chuckle back in return.

Damn you, Yoochun! Yunho wanted to cry out. Why did you have to set me up with such a spoiled, typical woman? Didn’t you know Seulki was distinctive amongst her kind and was nothing like this woman?

“Yunho-sshi… why don’t we go to my apartment after this?”

He had tried his hardest to be kind and to reply her sentences accordingly, but this time, he just wasn’t able to. “Um, Ara-sshi, I’m afraid the two of us won’t work out.”

Frowning, the woman tried her best to provide the scientist with more persuasion. “Oh Yunho, you have no idea what you’re talking about.” She denied. “Imagine our life together! We’ll spend our days eating at gourmet restaurants, rummaging through the boutiques, living a lavish lifestyle. Considering the two of us both have high salaries, we can spend a luxurious life together.”

“Shut up!” Yunho threw her hand off his arm in disgust and raised his voice grumpily. “All the things you’re talking about-those are all your desires. Have you ever thought twice about what I want? I’ve had enough of the typical woman. I’ve had enough of a woman who wants to marry only because I’m better looking than the average man! You think that I would even want to go on a second date with you after this?”

“Yunho, you haven’t even gotten to know me yet!”

“Oh, I already know you too well!” He exasperatedly claimed. “You’re not the kind that can wait for me at the door until I get off work at eleven o’ clock at night! You’re not the one who can make me delicious meals everyday and force vegetables down my throat!” Yunho then thought about Jaejoong and how blissful the boy had made him feel these past few months. “Lastly, you’re not the one who can make me feel as wonderful as my wife once did!”

Having enough of her, Yunho stood up from his chair and planned to exit the restaurant. “Oh, and if Yoochun ever comes back, tell him I don’t need any more of his useless ‘blind dates.’” He added one last time before exiting the café.

As Yunho returned to the sidewalk, he was engulfed by the refreshing rainfall which had begun to plunge from the sky not long ago. He let the droplets submerge him, almost as if he wanted the rain to wash away everything that had happened tonight. He let his lungs fill up with air, reminding himself that he already had everything he needed.

He felt like an idiot, embarking on this blind date when already, he had a beautiful wife at home (who wasn’t human, but who cares?) that wouldn’t mind tending to his every request and listening to all of his complaints. Jaejoong was the one he loved, and the one he had hoped to spend the rest of his life with.

He would not let anything come between the two of them ever again.



I think this is the first time in months when the update is finally here on time. My Chemistry testing is finally over, thank God! I think I did horribly though… especially on the free response. The equilibrium problem was really unexpected, and there was not a single question asking me about concentration or PH! What the hell’s with that?! Sorry everyone, chemistry has been taking over my life lately…

Speaking of chemistry, what do you think of YunJae’s?

Please leave a comment!

-Cindy

R é s u l t a t |  A l i é n é |  D é s o l é |  B a i g n o i r e | M u s i q u e | N o c t u r n e  1 | N o c t u r n e  2 | J a l o u x | P e s a n t e u r  1 | P e s a n t e u r  2 | r ê v e | S o u p ç o n n e u x


Want more? For a list of chapters and stories, please don’t hesitate to visit my fanfiction archive