Jaejoong's Lyric | Verse 19/26

Sep 13, 2008 16:35

Jaejoong's Lyric
Author: love_cassiopeia
Summary: Jaejoong - a poor yet talented musician with an impossible dream. Yunho - An SM producer who could make Jaejoong’s unreal dream come true. They needed each other to succeed, and they were delighted they had met that magical day. But, will love get in the way of dreams? Will the two be captured by love rather than work? Only his song will tell.
Rated: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don’t own the five members, I’m simply borrowing them.
Warnings: Yaoi/slash, language, some angst
Genre: Romance/Angst
Pairings: YunJae | YunChun (2U/To-You)
Verse 19: Brave



Verse 19: Brave




You are an incoherent fool, you are pathetic, you betrayed them-that was the truth. You can’t deny it, no matter how hard you’ll try.

After years of putting up a thin façade in front of your peers, your true colours shone through, revealing every inch of your malicious soul to the entire world.

The two people you had treasured most in your life-Yoochun and Jaejoong-you had hurt the two of them in a mere twelve hours. Was it considered a skill that you could do these things? Was it a talent?

No, it was more like a curse; and you yearned to break out of it as soon as you could. You can’t risk making another one of these imprudent mistakes anymore. There’s no telling what would happen the next time you did.

As soon as you saw the beautiful raven-haired boy appear before you that night, your heart pounded, its rhythm mixing in with the alcohol you had previously consumed to produce a large amount of ambiguity and insecurity. When he stared back in disappointment, when his glare pierced through you… only then did you see your world crashing down, self-destructing itself before your very eyes.

So why? Why did you still have the energy to run after him after seeing such a heart-wrecking expression on his face? Was it because you love him and wanted him to realize that you did? Or was it simply to clear out the heartless crime you committed that evening?

You searched the whole city-every inch, every corner, and yet you found nothing in return. You had even dug up the strength to call him on his cell phone. However, you were beyond distressed when he didn’t pick up. You know why-because he hates you, and he doesn’t want to hear your pathetic explanations anymore.

Yoochun, on the other hand, picked up your single phone call and handled all the socializing maturely. However, it was considered more of a curse than a blessing to have talked with him that night. He told you that you were right all along; that the two of you being together was a sin all from the beginning. You could hear the fear and melancholy in his voice, so you hung up immediately to avoid hearing it again.

Just what have you done, Yunho? Harm and hurt cannot explain the mark you had left mentally on your two lovers. It was a thing far worse than words could describe, and it could very well haunt you for the rest of your life.

Thinking about life after this incident was almost as painful as living it out in reality. You were idle to live, you were tired-you just wanted to abandon everything.

But you can’t; you can’t unless you make one last phone call. If he doesn’t pick up-great, your life ends. However, if he does, then you will have to suffer with this pain for a little while longer.



You aren’t surprised to hear your heart skip a beat when his number flashes on the tiny LCD screen. You know why: because you can’t escape from him, and there’s nothing you can do to attempt that. Even if it meant torture to hear one more word from him, you still yearned to answer the phone call that was eagerly awaiting you.

So, you pick up.

“Jaejoong!”

His voice sends ice cubes up your spine again, making you shiver wildly. You’re speechless, hearing the soft melody of it once again, tickling your ears mischievously.

“Jaejoong?”

You sigh. “I’m here.”

Looking at your exhausted expression in the hotel mirror, you want nothing more than to hang up and throw your mobile phone out the window. But you want him so badly. You want him despite how much pain he would cause you in return.

“Look, Jae, I’m sorry-“

“No, you’re not.”

Oops! Those words just sorta… slipped out. You didn’t know why you couldn’t stop them.

You can hear in his voice that he is nervous-even angry, maybe. “Jae, please.” He pleads. “I need to talk to you.” His expression is serious now; you can hear the importance in his voice.

You roll your eyes. “We’re talking already, you bastard.” You hate yourself once again, for saying such a careless line. But you can’t control yourself… not when you’re talking to someone you love and resent simultaneously.

You can hear him growl on his end of the line. “…in person.” He adds, a bit hesitantly. “I just need to see you, Jaejoong. Before you leave Incheon.”

Why? You want to ask. So you can have one last ‘play-time’ with your little pretty boy? Oh no, Yunho… Kim Jaejoong is not your little ‘pretty boy’… at least, not anymore.

He sighs. “Jaejoong! Are you listening?”

You roll your eyes. “Yeah, yeah! I’m listening!” You yell back, frustrated. You sigh. “Why do you want to see me anyway?”

He’s unusually quiet after your startling question. You can effortlessly tell why. No matter how unpredictable the events turned out last night, you could still easily tell what you were going to receive as an answer. That much was obvious.

He’s going to lie to you. Why? For his pride.

That idiot.

“Because… I need to explain everything…to tell you the reasons for my actions.”

Liar! You want to call out. Change that sentence to ‘because I did something unforgiveable and I want you to forgive me.’

“Okay.” You say in-between fatigued breaths. No matter how hard you tried, you still couldn’t untie the jumbled knot of thoughts that stayed dormant in your head. “Where do you want to meet?” You hate yourself for being so curious, but there was nothing more you could do.

Before you have enough time to realize what you’re agreeing to, he replies you, pure excitement in his voice. “Meet me at the café off the dock.” He informs you. “Your hotel is fairly close to it, is it not?”

You nod, carelessly agreeing to his answer. “I’ll meet you there then.” You declare bravely, putting aside all of your vulnerability to recreate your strong façade once again for him. You do not want to spare the embarrassment of letting him see you weak once again, because deep inside you, you knew you had the inner strength to forget him and end this once and for all.

“Jaejoong?” His voice sounds nervous-even worried.

“Yeah?”

He exhales, his breath somber as it reaches your ears. “…nothing.” He denies, making you roll your eyes as aggravation boiled deeply inside you.

“Yunho, I-” You begin; only to be cut off by him, who hung up before your thoughts had a chance to settle into their correct places. However, you bring out the guts to ignore it. If you were going to say anything to him, you might as well say it to him face to face.

Still dirty and stressed, you step out of the tiny bathroom and into the vision of your curious acquaintances. You let your shoulders droop as you walk over to them, your hair still dripping from the water you had engulfed your face in. You hang your head, hiding your pathetic face from your two dongsaengs as your reach into the small closet without saying a word.

“I’m going to see Yunho.” You utter carelessly as you grab a jacket and run off to the door. Changmin and Junsu gawk at you, astonished by your intricate yet simple actions.

“Jaejoong!” You can hear Changmin yell after you while you fervently exit the hotel room. But you need to ignore him, otherwise you will be hurt once more, and you can’t stand to bear another wound on your fragile body-not anymore.

Just you wait, Jung Yunho. I will make sure that you suffer; that you realize what you did was a complete mistake.

***

[Junsu & Changmin]

Watching the raven-haired boy leave the hotel room so eagerly, the two talented SM entertainment members could do nothing more but stare upon the closed metal door of the silent hotel room. Perched in their comfortable positions on the spongy mattress, Changmin and Junsu let silence stretch between them, neither one attempting to interrupt it. The two musicians sat in silence for over a minute, until Changmin stood up, carelessly grabbing a jacket as he attempted to head out the closed door.

“Min, don’t do it.”

The tall brunette turned around to face the older male. His glare carried a look of doubt and confusion, while mixed within it was a tiny hint of anger.

“Junsu! Wake up! Are you just going to sit here and let all this happen? Yunho has already hurt Jaejoong once before, do you think he will hesitate to repeat himself once again?” He sits himself on the bed again, beside the shorter male. “You have to understand the reason why I’m doing this! I was the one who had started this, who brought the two of them together. And see what a mistake I’ve made? In the end, I’m the one who has to stop all this! Period.”

Instead of seeing a frown appear upon Junsu’s lithe face, Changmin recognized a genuine smile-slowly forming itself onto Junsu’s delicate features. He was confused to see such an expression, but in the end, he felt a bit pleased, knowing that Junsu had something reasonable on his mind.

“Minnie-ah, why are you so blind?” Junsu asks, his visage painted with different shades of sympathy. “Can’t you see the fact that Jaejoong and Yunho are in love despite your devious plans? No one can be forced to love. Especially not Yunho-who gave up on love when Yoochun had left him. But the fire I see in his eyes when he is with Jaejoong-it’s completely real, no one can deny it. If you had told me that the love between Yunho and Jaejoong was fake, I wouldn’t have believed a word you said.”

Changmin snorts, letting his stubbornness get the best of him. “But it was me all along. Me who pushed the two of them into this! It’s such a difficult task to forgive myself after this-after all the shit that had happened. Why must it be me? Why must it all come down to me?” He exhales deeply, tossing away his jacket and falling back on the bed idly as he stared blankly up at the ivory ceiling.

“I need to stop them, Hyung. I need to stop them from seeing each other again, and letting themselves hurt each other even more.”

The older male lets out a silent yet flirtatious laugh. “Don’t worry, Changmin… you’ll only cause more confusion if you step in now.” Junsu consoles, his hands caressing the silky strands of Changmin’s hair. “They will figure everything out by themselves, I know they will.”

Changmin looked up at Junsu indolently and sighed. “How do you know?” He asks curiously. “It’s not like you’ve been in a serious relationship before.” He snorts, rolling his eyes once again at the blank ceiling.

“Oh, but I have.” Junsu replies, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry, Changmin, for not telling you this…but…”

The brunette lying on the sheets sat up and stared peculiarly at the older male. His eyes widened, wondering what was capable of escaping from Junsu’s mouth at the moment. A part of him wanted to listen on and comprehend his story, while the other part yearned to shut off his ears before anything dangerous came flying out from Junsu’s lips.

Taking the brave road, Changmin decided to continue the conversation.

“Tell me what?”

Junsu exhaled, looking away from his loyal friend and song-writer. “Yoochun-the man that Yunho kissed…” He paused, wondering if it was completely insane after all to be telling Changmin something that happened so long ago. “…he… he was my first love.”

If Changmin wasn’t half as shocked already, he would’ve fallen off the bed in an instant and landed head-first onto the hard wooden floor. However, in a time like this, he could only stare, watching inquisitively as the unexpected turnout of events unraveled itself before him.

“You… and Yoochun… dated?”

“Oh yes.” Junsu replies, exceedingly confident in his actions. “I’ve been with him years before he met Yunho, and it pains me to remember every precious moment we’ve spent together.” He looks upon the ivory sheets, thinking of the past. “But we all have to let go sometimes… no matter how precious our relationship is.”

The taller male still refuses to blink as the shorter male sinks into the blankets with his jeans still on. The conversation he shared with Junsu today-it was so distinctive, so unique, and so inspiring. If Changmin was surprised about Junsu and Yoochun’s past, then words cannot describe how he felt when Junsu unveiled his true colours by pouring out his soul with his strong words.

“Junsu?”

“Yeah?” The husky voice replies from inside the blankets.

“What do you think I should do?”

Junsu shrugs, a calm expression on his features. “Do whatever you want, Min.” He suggests, pulling the blankets over his thin shoulders. “But I’m staying in bed-I barely had any sleep last night.”

Changmin smiles down at the talented vocalist. “True.” He agrees as he slips into the blankets with the older male, hoping to block out his troubles along with the rest of the world.

But why? Why did he feel that pang of jealousy overwhelm him as Junsu talked about his previous experiences with Yoochun? Why did he feel the sudden urge to embrace Junsu in his arms as they slept together? What was this feeling taking over? Was this what love felt like?

He shakes his head, hoping to avoid any traces of confusion between the two of them. A songwriter wasn’t supposed to fall in love with the singer. He could see clearly the consequences that had inflicted themselves upon Yunho and Jaejoong, and didn’t want any to come close to Junsu or himself. This was a forbidden romance, and karma ought to bring a consequence to it in the end.

But he can’t stop. Not when an angel is sleeping soundlessly beside him; not when the warmth of heaven is seeping into his chest. For a second there, Changmin thought of breaking all the rules and claiming Junsu as his, embracing him until their bodies becomes one.

And so he does. For the first time in his life, he has tasted it-the sweet yet sinful flavour of love.



It’s refreshing to take a break from writing in second person. It brings me back to the days of Einstein Love when my writing still had holes in it. -_-;; It still does of course, but because of writing Jaejoong’s Lyric and everybody’s encouragement, I had managed to mend up most of them.

There wasn’t much YunJae in this chapter. But it’s alright-because I know you guys are dying from the amount of angst. If it’s too painful to read, please feel free to leave this fic.

~Cindy

Chance | Sing | Conversation | Interruptions | SparkMicrophone | Flirt | Again | Flame | Gift | Miracle | Promise | AwakeTimeless | Doubt | JealousyFast-forward | Rewind | Brave | Forget |

jaejoong's lyric

Previous post Next post
Up