Perforation doesn't always make the breaking easier
So I went to Europe to see Biwwy and Chris and for the most part I had a really good time. I did, however, end up leaving early because I felt the need to come home before going to Ireland, for quite a few reasons. I missed my mom, my puppy, my bestie and I really shouldn't have went to Europe to begin with. I should have just enjoyed my home time as much as possible before leaving for Ireland for "8 weeks." I'll explain the quotes later.
Much to my pleasant surprise I found that John was on his way back into town on tour when I got there and I'm glad to say we both took advantage of that time. He even had a day off...it was a small taste of fate if I may say so myself. Since then we've been a little...attached at the hip and I'm really enjoying it. I forgot how it felt to be in his presence, to be surrounded by him. He's said some amazing things to me in the past few days, things about myself, about our past together, about how he feels about us now. Things that really got to me and reminded me how wonderful a person he is. I think we're both fully aware that this may be our last chance. It's almost as if we are afraid to touch each other at times...it's like we're both very fragile and aware of how brittle the situation is. We're taking things slow because...if it doesn't work out with us this time...it never may. And I know that I don't want to lose him again.
There are still some matters of heart I have to finish working through but that gets easier every single day and with every moment I spend with John. I'm a big girl. I can see when it's not my place. I know my place and I'm happy here.
As for my "8 weeks" in Ireland, it's gonna be a lot shorter than originally thought which is actually a huge relief. They did some budget cuts and only want me out there for the month of August. I don't have a huge role, so with the downsizing they want to get me in and out of there as fast as possible, which is just fine with me. There's even a small chance that I won't even need to stay the whole month but *crosses fingers* we will see. Hopefully Biwwy, Quinn and Chris will still feel up to coming to see me in Ireland as planned and maybe Zac can come with them...cuz I'm gonna miss the crap outta that kid too. He's such a doll...people who don't know him are missing out. Every girl should have a Zac. Pishaw.
So...I'm spending my last week in the states on the road with John. It's exciting, I've never really been on a real tour before and watching him do his thing really makes me smile. The extra time with him is...it's a blessing and I'm happy he actually wants me here. Today he even took the liberty of pointing me out to the entire crowd >:O :-* I was so embarrassed, I'm sure I was redder than a stop light. But it was sweet, it showed me that he was proud to have me there supporting him and that means the world to me.
OK...that was a lot of babble...I'm off to bed now...OH! And seriously, Brittany. Thank you again for being the bestest best bestie ever. Because without you I would literally crumble. I love you more than a fat mouse loves cheese. Or something? Right.
Much to my pleasant surprise I found that John was on his way back into town on tour when I got there and I'm glad to say we both took advantage of that time. He even had a day off...it was a small taste of fate if I may say so myself. Since then we've been a little...attached at the hip and I'm really enjoying it. I forgot how it felt to be in his presence, to be surrounded by him. He's said some amazing things to me in the past few days, things about myself, about our past together, about how he feels about us now. Things that really got to me and reminded me how wonderful a person he is. I think we're both fully aware that this may be our last chance. It's almost as if we are afraid to touch each other at times...it's like we're both very fragile and aware of how brittle the situation is. We're taking things slow because...if it doesn't work out with us this time...it never may. And I know that I don't want to lose him again.
There are still some matters of heart I have to finish working through but that gets easier every single day and with every moment I spend with John. I'm a big girl. I can see when it's not my place. I know my place and I'm happy here.
As for my "8 weeks" in Ireland, it's gonna be a lot shorter than originally thought which is actually a huge relief. They did some budget cuts and only want me out there for the month of August. I don't have a huge role, so with the downsizing they want to get me in and out of there as fast as possible, which is just fine with me. There's even a small chance that I won't even need to stay the whole month but *crosses fingers* we will see. Hopefully Biwwy, Quinn and Chris will still feel up to coming to see me in Ireland as planned and maybe Zac can come with them...cuz I'm gonna miss the crap outta that kid too. He's such a doll...people who don't know him are missing out. Every girl should have a Zac. Pishaw.
So...I'm spending my last week in the states on the road with John. It's exciting, I've never really been on a real tour before and watching him do his thing really makes me smile. The extra time with him is...it's a blessing and I'm happy he actually wants me here. Today he even took the liberty of pointing me out to the entire crowd >:O :-* I was so embarrassed, I'm sure I was redder than a stop light. But it was sweet, it showed me that he was proud to have me there supporting him and that means the world to me.
OK...that was a lot of babble...I'm off to bed now...OH! And seriously, Brittany. Thank you again for being the bestest best bestie ever. Because without you I would literally crumble. I love you more than a fat mouse loves cheese. Or something? Right.