(no subject)

[louu20]

Yes. i know its been a real real real long time. lots has happened too. me and lauren (my cousin) talked about life the other day and just how it kinda sucks how we have to grow up all the sudden. we were talking about our cottage and all the memories we had of being a little kid and its hard to imagine that all that happened in this same life time. Now im single again and got my first real job and im going to college. and then soon enough ill have a career and ill have to move out and get married and have kids and start the life of my own. all the traditions and things that are familiar to me will be gone and i will have to start something completly new. although it can be kinda exciting, im more of the scared person. i get real nervous when i first start soemthing new so needless to say ive been kinda nervous for things lately. Its stupid cause when your a kid you just wanna be older and even though sometimes i really dont wanna go through all that growing up again i wish i could go back and really appreciate just goofing around and not having any real worries. im only 17 but i feel like im too much of an adult already, what happened?! where did time go?!? and im not sad at all about leaving high school, most people will say they are sad because they wont see any of their friends again, well i think the sadest part is just that this huge part of our life is over and we are being forced to move on to probably our last form of education and for some they are already starting their career. i went from being in grade school to college in what seems like no time at all! but the friends that mean soemthing will always be there for you anyways, so thast not the end of the world. dealing with a long distance realtionship last year really made me appreciate things too and probably made me mature a lot too. I went throw so much and some people may think they know but gosh there is just so much that probably wouldnt even make sense to you unles you know. but basically i realized that ive never wanted to let ben go because i was scared of losing him but i think i was just most scaerd of losing him as a friend because he is my best friend, my only true friend. he cares about my needs and my wants. listens to me even if hes having a crappy day. he just always there for me and im always there for him. we dont have to be going somewhere super fancy or super crazy to have fun. most of our relationship consisted of going to my house or going to his house and some people may say thats cheap, but i had the most fun ive ever had just cooking dinner with him or just sitting around in on of our living rooms talking. ive never been this close and had this much fun with anyone and thats the kind of friend that i know i will never forget and no matter how far away we go we will always be best friends. so after a year of being 4 hours away we still are best friends because we both knew that neither of us wanted to say goodbye. so if a friend means that much to you then put in a little effort because being friends with someone doesnt mean that you have to be next door neighbors or never get into a fight. those kind of things just test how good of a friendship you actualy had in the first place. So although im scared/nervous for a lot of things that are happeneing i know i have a great relationship with my family and ive got at least one great friend in ben and i know he will help me and support me which is super great to have especially right now. so thats about all thats been going on lately...maybe ill talk to you sooner than later. who knows.

<3 Lindsay