everything happens for a reason..
dear lj,
sadly.. jose passed thursday afternoon. i believe moments after i wrote about him in lj.
::sighs::
the funeral saturday night was rough.. aside from fighting with luis about going (because he hates funerals- they remind him of his dads) and because we were super late.. it is sad because we've lost a friend, brother & son and i don't think it has really kicked in for some of the boys.
when we arrived we got bitched at for missing the pictures.. uhhmm wtf is this a quince or a funeral? nonetheless i did NOT want a r.i.p. shirt because although i love my boys.. thats just tacky.
i know this isn't my cup of tea or my bag baby, but i feel comfortable here. i'm happy in a weird unexplainable type of way. they may not be perfect, but they all love me in their own way. lololol
i am a ball of emotions, but i cannot help but tell the world that this morning i woke up with a huge smile on my face. because i know everything is going to be ok. i know that we will be just fine. together or apart.. ladybug will be loved.
i've encountered a new taurus.. rodolfo a.k.a rudy. he may be luis's bff, but i am happy that he is also mine! he reminds me soo much of ralph & john and we have the same playful nature and views on life. i enjoy conversations with taurus's so much because i have always found them to be wise beyond their years.. he is an amazing person, but like all taurus's with so much potential.. he doesn't believe it. i just wish he could realize it! he'd be so much happier.
scorpios suck because they are sooo weird with their emotions. they just don't know what to do with them and they are soo easily influenced by other people even if it kills them inside. i'm not sure what the future holds for luis and i, but i know he hearts me. and its been said i am addictive and expensive like cocaine, even so people can't seem to stay away. lolol
one love- mi coranzoncito,
kLL
p.s.
i worry not about what our mothers will say, they will get over it.
not what our families will say, i don't need them.
but what john will say.. just because i know he wants so much more for me in life.
uggh... sometimes praying & memories aren't enough.
i miss him terribly.