Pop Gets In Your Head: Part 4
Beyond competence.
a lot of people can write competent pop songs. i am *positive* that someone has made a mathematical formula that can generate infinite permutations on the Competent Pop Song. simple chord structure, memorable hook/s, a million chorus repeats.
here are 5 examples of pop songs* i DON'T LIKE that are HIGHLY COMPETENT (not ranked):
Buddy Holly - Weezer
hell, MOST weezer songs are competent pop that i don't like. which is not to say that i didn't used to, when i was 12. I was even in the fanclub in 7th grade. but gimmicks don't have staying power -- and that is what we're after in the search for pop gold. this shit got old FAST and rivers cuomo is nasty and sexist and racist. so that kinda ruined it for me.
Wonderwall - Oasis
again, a lot of their songs are competent pop that i don't like. but unlike weezer, I never liked these fools. stop whining! it severely detracts from your hooks! also, stop saying "wonderwall." No one knows what you're talking about.
Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood
to be honest, i wanted to like this song. on first listen or two, i was really into the use of pop conventions. i think it was closer inspection of the lyrics that turned me off (like, she's getting all empowered about her asshole boyfriend, so the first thing she does is talk smack about the Other Woman via classism and sexism? not a fun pop song anymore), but will we ever really know? it also might be that what at first appealed to me (drama! drama! low verse, BIG CHORUS!) would eventually have gotten old anyway. good pop songs have staying power.
Irreplaceable- Beyonce
look, i love beyonce. crazy in love was my ringtone for way too long and the first time i heard it, i was blown away by what it did to pop (see forthcoming list of excellent pop songs). irreplaceable is a good, competent song and i don't hate it like i hate other stuff on this list. but it gets fucking old. the first time i heard "to the left, to the left," i was kinda into it. but a)it's TOO REPETITIVE and b)the non-hooky parts are boring. this is a symptom of songwriters resting on their formulaic competency and just running with a hook and forgetting to craft a song around it. plus - i don't like the message! and i just got my life fucking destroyed by getting dumped so i think i'm entitled to this opinion. thinking of yr bf as totally replaceable is not liberatory. (those who have seen me in my Trying Not to Die era know that from night one i said "don't First Wives Club me. it doesn't make anything better.") plus unconvincing! we all know beyonce doesn't thing HER DATE is replaceable! (believing the singer is, at least for me, a HUGE part of selling the song. and beyonce has the power to convince me of a LOT.)
Sweet Escape - Gwen Stefani
almost not fair for me to include this, since i hate her so much and her voice is categorically and indisputably abrasive but it *is* a fully competent pop song. I am sometimes torn about whether the recurring eight measures in which Akon sings "Woohoo, yeehoo" are the Best or Worst part of the song. One violinist in my band refused to let this song play on the van radio primarily because of said "Woohoo, yeehoo." but like with many of these songs, the fine line between SOFUCKINGCATCHY and SOFUCKINGANNOYING is tread on far too heavily. now, much as i hate G.S. for her obscene cultural appropriation and horrible music, I would possibly put "don't speak" on a list of songs I HATE but are better-than-competent pop songs. see, even i recognize that THAT song has better staying power than THIS song.
*and for the record, I don't mean "pop" as a genre. I mean pop as a style of songwriting that can occur in many forms, including but not limited to: country-pop, bubblegum pop, R&B pop, rock-pop, etc.
a lot of people can write competent pop songs. i am *positive* that someone has made a mathematical formula that can generate infinite permutations on the Competent Pop Song. simple chord structure, memorable hook/s, a million chorus repeats.
here are 5 examples of pop songs* i DON'T LIKE that are HIGHLY COMPETENT (not ranked):
Buddy Holly - Weezer
hell, MOST weezer songs are competent pop that i don't like. which is not to say that i didn't used to, when i was 12. I was even in the fanclub in 7th grade. but gimmicks don't have staying power -- and that is what we're after in the search for pop gold. this shit got old FAST and rivers cuomo is nasty and sexist and racist. so that kinda ruined it for me.
Wonderwall - Oasis
again, a lot of their songs are competent pop that i don't like. but unlike weezer, I never liked these fools. stop whining! it severely detracts from your hooks! also, stop saying "wonderwall." No one knows what you're talking about.
Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood
to be honest, i wanted to like this song. on first listen or two, i was really into the use of pop conventions. i think it was closer inspection of the lyrics that turned me off (like, she's getting all empowered about her asshole boyfriend, so the first thing she does is talk smack about the Other Woman via classism and sexism? not a fun pop song anymore), but will we ever really know? it also might be that what at first appealed to me (drama! drama! low verse, BIG CHORUS!) would eventually have gotten old anyway. good pop songs have staying power.
Irreplaceable- Beyonce
look, i love beyonce. crazy in love was my ringtone for way too long and the first time i heard it, i was blown away by what it did to pop (see forthcoming list of excellent pop songs). irreplaceable is a good, competent song and i don't hate it like i hate other stuff on this list. but it gets fucking old. the first time i heard "to the left, to the left," i was kinda into it. but a)it's TOO REPETITIVE and b)the non-hooky parts are boring. this is a symptom of songwriters resting on their formulaic competency and just running with a hook and forgetting to craft a song around it. plus - i don't like the message! and i just got my life fucking destroyed by getting dumped so i think i'm entitled to this opinion. thinking of yr bf as totally replaceable is not liberatory. (those who have seen me in my Trying Not to Die era know that from night one i said "don't First Wives Club me. it doesn't make anything better.") plus unconvincing! we all know beyonce doesn't thing HER DATE is replaceable! (believing the singer is, at least for me, a HUGE part of selling the song. and beyonce has the power to convince me of a LOT.)
Sweet Escape - Gwen Stefani
almost not fair for me to include this, since i hate her so much and her voice is categorically and indisputably abrasive but it *is* a fully competent pop song. I am sometimes torn about whether the recurring eight measures in which Akon sings "Woohoo, yeehoo" are the Best or Worst part of the song. One violinist in my band refused to let this song play on the van radio primarily because of said "Woohoo, yeehoo." but like with many of these songs, the fine line between SOFUCKINGCATCHY and SOFUCKINGANNOYING is tread on far too heavily. now, much as i hate G.S. for her obscene cultural appropriation and horrible music, I would possibly put "don't speak" on a list of songs I HATE but are better-than-competent pop songs. see, even i recognize that THAT song has better staying power than THIS song.
*and for the record, I don't mean "pop" as a genre. I mean pop as a style of songwriting that can occur in many forms, including but not limited to: country-pop, bubblegum pop, R&B pop, rock-pop, etc.