Remix of idrillia_fic: In the Dark

Jul 19, 2009 07:45

Title: In the Dark
Author: foxrafer
Original story: Scenes of Obsession by idrillia_fic
Pairing: Elijah/Orlando
Rating: R-ish (but mostly PG)
Summary: At times it's too easy to drift apart.
Warnings: For me, this is heavy on the angst
Pre-reveal Notes: Thanks to idrillia_fic for the fantastic inspiration. I strongly encourage everyone to read her original story first. I ( Read more... )

2009 remix

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Comments 6

caras_galadhon July 20 2009, 16:23:33 UTC
This is lovely and melancholy. I love the quietness of it, the sense that the chaos of the fan response to Orlando is something separate and distant, and I love how Elijah's own distance is at once compared to that and slowly, carefully becomes bridged. The way the melancholy slowly turns to hope is beautiful. I felt like I was being carefully, skillfully ushered along by this story to the (blessedly inevitable) conclusion. Really lovely!

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foxrafer July 29 2009, 14:41:07 UTC
Thank you! It was very hard to tackle this pairing and I'm really glad I had idrillia's story to work with. It's great to hear that the shift didn't seem rushed and that it flowed right. I was worried that it would seem too abrupt. Thanks again; I'm so happy you liked it.

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stormatdusk July 21 2009, 03:35:39 UTC
easily accessible from his card catalog of memories

no amount of knowledge, no level of understanding, can stop the sense of disconnection that creeps along the perimeter

a surge of silent energy through the audience

tries to edit the page, delete the detachment

pull him toward cresting pleasure

he'd let Orlando into more than his body that night

several of your phrases made me gasp, this being just some of them, and the ending sentence is wonderful. the whole fic is gorgeous.

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foxrafer July 29 2009, 15:01:57 UTC
Thank you! This was so hard to do but bit by bit, and with itstonedme's help, it happened. I think I always fall back on phrasing when other things are giving me trouble, so it's lovely to see that so many stood out for you.

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idri_fic July 21 2009, 16:27:20 UTC
The first paragraphs are just a wonderful introduction to your fic. I just love the idea of Elijah's mind running almost like a computer system when it come to 'his star' - constructing, realigning, comparing, deleting, refining... looking for the perfect 'model' of Orlando and what he's doing at any given time.

And the doubt, the worry, twisting through it all like a particularly nasty breed of snake. Evol and wrong and oh Elijah!

Steven, filled with insecurity and shyness, rather than Orlando, quietly confident and passionate. Elijah smiles at the thought, glad for the ready explanation of this sense of separation. He lets his pride and admiration build, holds it like a shield against doubt.

Love this. Love your brief but oh so right description of Orlando as confident and passionate because yes! That's how he is. For sure *nods most certainly* And Elijah being all proud and admiring of his man *dies of teh happy*

And all the insecurity! When the news of a trip to London is met with only a hurried affirmation his ( ... )

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foxrafer July 29 2009, 14:38:07 UTC
I am so pleased that you liked this. I tried really hard not to do this story; I have issues letting Elijah be a grown up (*g*); he's kind of forever 10 in my head. But I kept coming back to it and finally gave in. I'm surprised I didn't break my fingers, I was twisting them so much worrying if I was getting Elijah even close to right.

Thank you for this generous and lovely feedback. It was wonderful to have such an interesting story to work with and I wanted so much to do it justice.

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