Guess we were both being a little dense.
Karl: *It's been a normal day, well, relatively. Filming went fine, or well, as fine as filming with PJ and his million retakes ever goes. Honestly, though, I'm far more relieved to be at home where I can just curl up with Harry and not worry about anything else. I've been trying to read this damned book for nearly the past hour, but I can't seem to concentrate. Every few minutes, my gaze drifts to the other end of the couch where Harry's working on his script. Glancing over the top of my glasses, I watch you for a few moments, then try to find the line I had been reading yet again. Chewing on my bottom lip, I sigh softly and finally give up, tossing the book onto the coffee table.*
Harry: *When you toss the book on the table I look up and raise my eyebrow* Something the matter? The book bad? *I can tell you're restless, and actually, it's rather endearing, but still, I want to know why. I put my script down and look at you, trying not to think about how cute your glasses make you look*
Karl : I can't tell if it's bad or not, *I frown a bit.* I just can't seem to concentrate on it. *I shrug a bit, stretching out on the couch and then deciding to grab the remote. I glance up at you, just as I'm about to rest my head on your thigh.* M'not going to keep you from working if I turn this on, will I? *What I want to ask is if I'm going to bother you, but I can't seem to, just a bit afraid that you'll say yes and really the urge to touch you if overwhelming even if it is just by resting my head against you.*
Harry: What? Oh, no. You never bother me. *He looks like he was about to lay his head on my thigh, and I really want him to do that.* I think I'm done with this for now anyway. The inspiration's gone.
Karl: *I fret at my bottom lip a bit worried.* I didn't distract you did I? *I hope not, I really tried to keep the fidgeting down to a minimum so you could work.* M'sorry if I did, mate. *I murmur softly, finally resting my head on your leg, though glancing up at you tentatively.*
Harry: You always distract me. *I tell him with a small smile, running my fingers through his hair* But I don't mind. You're more interesting than my script anyway. *I bite my lip when I realize that I might have said too much, but I can't stop myself from running my fingers through his hair, from wanting--needing--to touch him*
Karl: *Slipping my glasses off, I toss them onto the coffee table as well. Your words catch me off guard and I blink, a bit wide-eyed, a slow tinge of color suffusing my cheeks. Somehow I completely forget to even turn the television on as your words sink in. Really, I'm not sure whether to apologize or be flattered--I guess both.* I don't mean to distract you, Harry, m'glad you're here though. *I murmur softly, automatically turning my head into that touch and sighing softly in approval as your fingers card through my hair.*
Harry: 'm glad I'm here too. *I tell him, figuring it can't hurt after what I just said. You didn't jump away from me, so that has to be good, but...still. I really should stop myself from saying or doing more. I don't want to push you or pressure you or whatever. You're my mate, and I'm sure that this...whatever I've been feeling...will pass eventually. I don't want us to not be mates when it does*
Karl: *I'm really just boggling over your previous words. I haven't a clue how you'd consider me interesting at all. In fact, I'd far more expect you to consider me ..I dunno, a wreck maybe. I really don't know what I'd be like if you weren't here, about a million times worse, I'm sure. Those fingers still in my hair have me very nearly purring, and I turn just enough to look up at you.* Is.. is being a distraction a good thing then? *I ask softly, just needing the reassurance, I think.. I think the way you said it that it is, but maybe that's just me hoping so.*
Harry: *I blush a little. I'd hoped he wouldn't press the issue, but I am the one who brought it up, so...I suppose he has the right* Uh, yeah. *I give him a nervous smile, still afraid that I've said too much. He's probably going to want me to leave after this, but there's not much I can do but answer him* It's a very good thing.
Karl: *Not just a good thing, but a 'very' good thing.* Oh.. *I'm dumbfounded by that.* Oh, good. *Real eloquent, Karl. I haven't a clue what to say. That nervous smile has me answering with one of my own slowly. I'm reading far too much into this, I'm sure. I have to be. After all, you're just my mate, and it feels like it's been a very long time since anyone has thought I'm a welcome distraction. I shift a bit getting comfortable, using it as an excuse to press my head against your fingers and so tempted to nuzzle against your leg that I clench my teeth against the inside of my bottom lip. Hell, that would only get me shoved off your lap, I'm sure, and I want to be close too much to risk it.*
Harry: *I flex my fingers in your hair when you press against them.* Yeah. *He hasn't rolled off my lap yet, which is good, but still, I probably said too much. I shift a little and pick up the remote, turning on the TV in hopes that it will distract him from this conversation. I'm sure I won't like where it goes, and I want to be here, touching him, too much to risk that*
Karl: *I exhale a slow, shuddering breath as your fingers move in my hair, just stilling against you and ruminating over just what your words might mean. I know what I'd like them to mean, but.. yeah right. Seems a little far fetched to hope you'd feel the same way, not that I can blame you for not, after all you've seen me at my worst I guess. I'm hardly even aware of just what you turn on, focused on my thoughts and not the TV. After a few quiet minutes though, I murmur a soft,* I think you're a very good distraction too, *before glancing over at the show.*
Harry: *I blush when he says that* Um, thanks. *I flex my fingers in his hair again, unable to stop myself from touching him, caressing him. I'm not sure what to think of his comment. I want to take it one way, but I'm sure that he just means that he's glad I'm distracting him from his woes over Marton. Just being a good mate, helping him through a tough time. And that's what I'm trying to do. I just...seem to want more now. But I'm not going to push it.*
Karl: *Your fingers in my hair have me purring softly, unable to resist encouraging those slight touches. I want them, hell, need them. Even if it does seem like you're more than likely just acknowledging my comment to be polite, I'll take what I can get. If I can't have what I really want, then this will have to suffice. It's not like I can press for more when you've already given me so much.*
Harry: *I keep stroking his head, pleased by the response, even if I know that he's probably thinking about someone else. I can pretend he's thinking about me, and then we're both happy, right? Well, happy for the moment anyway. At least I get to touch him, to have him close. And it seems to be helping him too, so it's good all around.*
Karl: *There's no way I can concentrate on the television show, all I can think about is your fingers tinning in my hair, and that purr grows a touch louder. Nothing feels better than being touched by you. I don't think anyone could compare, really, to just how relaxed and cared for you make me feel. I can't really stop myself from nuzzling against your leg, so completely content that I just want to wrap myself up in you.*
Harry: *When you nuzzle at my leg, I find myself stroking your cheek with my free hand, still running my other hand through your hair. It's instinct almost; I certainly didn't think about it before I did it, but once I've started, I find that I can't make myself stop*
Karl: *My eyes flutter closed as your fingers brush against my face, and I exhale a tremulous breath. Christ, that feels good. And really I should probably feel bad, drawing so much from such innocent touches. My skin heats beneath your fingers, flushing with those thoughts. You'd probably be mortified if you knew just how even that simple affection makes me feel. Before I even know what I'm doing, I've turned to press my lips lights against the fingers that had been stroking my cheek.*
Harry: *When he presses a kiss against my fingers, I freeze, trying to figure out what he wants. If he's thinking I'm someone else, this could be very bad, but if he knows that it's me...* Karl? *I ask in a choked voice, barely able to speak. I'm afraid of what the answer is going to be*
Karl: *Suddenly wide-eyed, I blink a few times as you call my name.* I..I.. oh fuck, m'sorry... *I've fucked up now, haven't I. Stupid, Karl, really fucking stupid.* M'so sorry. I.. *I can't say I didn't mean it, because I did. Hell, want to kiss far more than your fingers, but the tone of your voice makes it pretty clear I've upset you. I've fucked up, and I'm shaking as I sit up, suddenly scrambling off the couch.* I'm.. oh God, you're going to leave now.. aren't you? *My stomach turns with absolute dread at the prospect.* I...I understand, m'sorry though. I won't do it again.. if you stay. *Oh please, stay. Please please please. I want to beg you, but my voice is so soft, I don't even know if it'll work any more*
Harry: *I blanch at the idea of leaving, already feeling empty when you move away* Um, if you want me to. I, uh, shouldn't have, uh, you know. I'm sorry. *I start chewing on my lower lip, looking at you worriedly. I really don't want to leave, don't want to be away from you. I already feel empty without you touching me*
Karl: I don't want you to! Please.. I.. I'm sorry... just don't leave. Can't have you leave. *I probably say that too quickly, but I'm feeling frantic. I can't understand why you're sorry, though. That's just confusing. Shaking almost violently as I sink onto the other end of the couch, I can't believe I could be so stupid. but, you just make me feel.. fuck, feel things I haven't in so long. Not that I expect you to feel the same way, stupid of me, really. Hazel eyes are desperate as I look over at you.* J...just don't leave.. /please/.
Harry: Okay. *I slowly scoot down the couch towards him.* I won't. I don't want to. I, uh, I like it here. I like spending time with you. *I shift a little nervously, twisting my fingers together* I probably like it more than I should. *I admit very softly.* Sorry. *I wait for you to tell me that you've changed your mind, that you want me to leave now*
Karl: *I look at you uncertainly, still shivering even as I wrap my arms over my chest.* Why're you sorry? *I'm completely clueless as to why you might feel the need to apologize, and that confusion is evident in my voice. After all, I'm the one who's always trying to touch you, I'm the one who's always making you cuddle up with me, and hell I'm the one who just took things a touch too far by kissing you or well your fingers. The fact that you like it more than you should has a bit of the cobwebs clearing from my head, but still that's just unbelievable, I don't know how you like it here at all, m'sure there must be a dozen things more worthy of your time than sitting here with me.*
Harry: Because, you're...and I'm...and... *I take a deep breath, cowing you won't understand a word of that.* Because, I'm feeling things I shouldn't. For you. *I can't look at you.* You don't need that right now. And, I just...I shouldn't do that. I'm sorry. *I stand up and start to move towards the door, certain that you're going to want me to leave after that admission.*
Karl: *No, I don't understand a word of it at first. But then my eyes just widen, almost comically so. But you're not even looking at me, and that only makes me more frantic.* ...p...please.. *My voice is small, unsure and completely terrified as you stand.* Don't leave, Harry.. I..I won't be able to bear it. *Which makes me the worst sort of bastard, doesn't it? You deserve far better than me anyway, but I can't let you walk out. I just can't. As it is, I feel like I'm choking to death with watching you walk away from me, and I can't hold back the pained noise that catches in my throat as I nearly sob out.* .../please/..
Harry: *I stop when you say that, turning to look at you.* I shouldn't stay, Karl. It wouldn't be fair to either of us. *I sigh, running my hand over my head* You don't want what I want. And we'll just both end up hurt. *And if I stay, I'll do something stupid and then I'll lose you as a friend too, and I couldn't stand that.*
Karl: ...oh.. *It's more exhaled than said, my breath rushing out of me all at once. I'm sure I look like I've been slapped, stunned and trying to blink away the million and one emotions swelling in my eyes. My voice is inaudible when I speak,* Does it even matter if I feel the same way? *Probably not, you deserve so much more. Hell, all I have to offer you is myself, and I'm a wreck. Shaking, I fold myself up on the couch, tugging my legs up against my chest. I can't watch you walk out, I just can't so I press my face against my knees, biting my lip hard enough that I taste blood in my attempts not to cry.*
Harry: *I'm turning to go again when you say that.* You...you feel the same way? *I take a deep breath, my gut twisting as I look at you. I can't stand to see you like this, so I go over and kneel in front of you, putting my hands over yours.* But...I thought... *I sigh* What about Marton? I thought...'cause you two...and... *I can't even form a coherent sentence at the moment, I'm too overwhelmed by the idea that you might feel the same way, and too worried that I've completely fucked up and managed to send you back into the slump I'd pulled you out of*
Karl: *I jerk, startled when your hands cover mine. Looking up hesitantly, hazel eyes are utterly forlorn when they meet yours. I want to beg you not to leave, tell you I'd do anything to keep you here, but I can't seem to get the words past my lips. It doesn't seem very fair to you because I know you'd stay, you'd feel obligated to. And I don't want to keep you here, not if here isn't where you want to be.* I… yeah, Marton… he... *I shake my head not even sure what to say.* It.. it hasn't been Marton here putting me back together, Harry. Hasn't been Marton holding me at night. S'been you..*Worrying even more at my bottom lip, I shake my head, dropping my gaze again.* I.. I want you here, but if you wanna go, I.. I'll understand.
Harry: I thought you'd want me to leave. *I whisper, lifting your chin so you're looking into my eyes* I didn't want to push you or anything, that's all. Thought I'd make you uncomfortable after...after saying that. *I sigh and lean forward, resting my head on your knees* I don't want to lose you as a friend, Karl, that's all. I don't want to scare you away.
Karl: *Tilting my face into the touch of those fingers beneath my chin, I look at you like you've gone completely daft when you say you thought I'd want you to leave. Like that'll ever happen.* You can't make me uncomfortable, y'big wanker. Don't you get it? M'only comfortable when I'm with you, Harry. . *My voice is still tremulous and far too close to tears for comfort. Dropping my head to lean it against yours, I exhale a shuddering sigh, my voice falling impossibly softer.* You can't scare me away.. M'already scared, Harry. Scared of what m'feeling... but… m'not going anywhere.. Not so long as you're here..
Harry: What...what are you feeling? *I ask uncertainly. I think I know what you're saying, but I want to be sure. I can't just assume something like this. I lift my head and yours so I can look into your eyes. I need to see your eyes when you say this, need to know for sure*
Karl: I... *I flush as you lift my head, my gaze hesitant in meeting yours. I haven't admitted this to anyone, have trouble even admitting it to myself, but it's impossible to not answer you, even if it is only a whisper.* ..I want you.. and.. and every night I wrap myself 'round you, I worry that I won't be able to let go in the morning..
Harry: *I lean forward and rest my forehead against yours.* Really? *I reach up and stroke your cheek, smiling tentatively. I'm having trouble believing what I'm hearing--it's almost too much to hope for. Still, you said it, so maybe you mean it. My heart is fluttering in my chest as I wait for your answer*
Karl: Really... *I murmur softly, that touch against my cheek draws out a shiver that works its way very nearly from my head to my toes, eyes drifting almost shut. When they flutter open once more, you're still kneeling there in front of me, and I catch my bottom lip in between my teeth. My mind just keeps repeating 'please, don't leave' over and over in a silent plea that's visible in the worry clouding my gaze.*
Harry: *I smile softly when you admit that* Good. *Before you have a chance to react at all, I push forward and press my lips against yours. I keep the touch light, just in case I'm wrong, but I have to try. I can't just leave this, not now, not after we've gone this far. If I'm wrong, well, then, I'm wrong, and I'll deal with it, but there's this voice in the back of my head that's telling me that I have to do this, that I have to try. *
Karl: *I gasp softly as your lips meet mine, lips parting with the sound as warmth just pools through my body. Trembling, I uncurl myself, lowering my legs as I try to get closer to you, very nearly spilling myself off the couch as I cling to you. My own lips move just as softly and hesitantly against yours, and as unsure as I feel I can't deny that it feels damn good too, and I sigh softly into the caress of your lips.*
Harry: *When you respond like that, I deepen the kiss, wrapping my arms around you and pulling you closer, pressing our bodies together. My hands stroke your back, trying to soothe the trembles, even as my tongue swipes across your lips, asking to be let in. I need this, need to feel you, to taste you, to know that this is real and not some dream that I'm having.* Karl... *I moan against your lips, unwilling to break contact, wanting--needing--to touch you everywhere*
Karl: *Shivering as the wet heat of your tongue slides against my lips, I whimper softly. One hand fisted in the front of your shirt, my other slides slowly against the nape of your neck. Hearing you moan my name just sounds unreal. And beautiful. I don't think I've ever heard anything so wonderful, and I press closer, grateful for your arms wrapped securely around me. I curl my tongue against yours as I let you into my mouth, encouraging you with a soft sound of pleasure.*
Harry: *I slide my tongue into your mouth, delving into the crevices, exploring it, relishing the taste of you. I move one hand up to tangle it in your hair, keeping you close, while the other continues to stroke your back. God, I've wanted this for so long. It seems almost surreal, but it's wonderful. Beyond wonderful. I don't want this to ever end.*
Karl: *God, it's been a long time since I've been kissed like this, touched or wanted like this. My hand slides up the nape of your neck, fingers teasing into the short strands of your hair. Tilting my head as you kiss me, I moan softly into your mouth, suckling softly at your tongue as I try to pull every bit of taste from you I can. Pressing closer against you, I shiver, panting softly when I have to pull back for a breath and looking at you with widened and amazed eyes.*
Harry: *I look into your eyes and smile softly* I, uh, guess that answers that question. *I let out a little chuckle and lightly kiss you again, pulling back after just a brief moment* Guess we were both being a little dense.
Karl: *All I can do is nod at first, exhaling a soft,* .yeah.. *The next kiss doesn't last long enough by far to sate my craving for you, and when you pull back I tighten my grip on you, pressing my face against your neck, unable to stymie my sigh of relief.* Don't ever leave, Harry. Need you right here with me.
Harry: 'M not going anywhere. *I tell you firmly as I push you back on the couch and then climb up next to you. As nice as this is, my knees are starting to hurt from kneeling like that and I don't need that distraction at work tomorrow.* 'M gonna stay right here as long as you'll let me. *I wrap my arms around you and hold you close.*
Harry: *When you toss the book on the table I look up and raise my eyebrow* Something the matter? The book bad? *I can tell you're restless, and actually, it's rather endearing, but still, I want to know why. I put my script down and look at you, trying not to think about how cute your glasses make you look*
Karl : I can't tell if it's bad or not, *I frown a bit.* I just can't seem to concentrate on it. *I shrug a bit, stretching out on the couch and then deciding to grab the remote. I glance up at you, just as I'm about to rest my head on your thigh.* M'not going to keep you from working if I turn this on, will I? *What I want to ask is if I'm going to bother you, but I can't seem to, just a bit afraid that you'll say yes and really the urge to touch you if overwhelming even if it is just by resting my head against you.*
Harry: What? Oh, no. You never bother me. *He looks like he was about to lay his head on my thigh, and I really want him to do that.* I think I'm done with this for now anyway. The inspiration's gone.
Karl: *I fret at my bottom lip a bit worried.* I didn't distract you did I? *I hope not, I really tried to keep the fidgeting down to a minimum so you could work.* M'sorry if I did, mate. *I murmur softly, finally resting my head on your leg, though glancing up at you tentatively.*
Harry: You always distract me. *I tell him with a small smile, running my fingers through his hair* But I don't mind. You're more interesting than my script anyway. *I bite my lip when I realize that I might have said too much, but I can't stop myself from running my fingers through his hair, from wanting--needing--to touch him*
Karl: *Slipping my glasses off, I toss them onto the coffee table as well. Your words catch me off guard and I blink, a bit wide-eyed, a slow tinge of color suffusing my cheeks. Somehow I completely forget to even turn the television on as your words sink in. Really, I'm not sure whether to apologize or be flattered--I guess both.* I don't mean to distract you, Harry, m'glad you're here though. *I murmur softly, automatically turning my head into that touch and sighing softly in approval as your fingers card through my hair.*
Harry: 'm glad I'm here too. *I tell him, figuring it can't hurt after what I just said. You didn't jump away from me, so that has to be good, but...still. I really should stop myself from saying or doing more. I don't want to push you or pressure you or whatever. You're my mate, and I'm sure that this...whatever I've been feeling...will pass eventually. I don't want us to not be mates when it does*
Karl: *I'm really just boggling over your previous words. I haven't a clue how you'd consider me interesting at all. In fact, I'd far more expect you to consider me ..I dunno, a wreck maybe. I really don't know what I'd be like if you weren't here, about a million times worse, I'm sure. Those fingers still in my hair have me very nearly purring, and I turn just enough to look up at you.* Is.. is being a distraction a good thing then? *I ask softly, just needing the reassurance, I think.. I think the way you said it that it is, but maybe that's just me hoping so.*
Harry: *I blush a little. I'd hoped he wouldn't press the issue, but I am the one who brought it up, so...I suppose he has the right* Uh, yeah. *I give him a nervous smile, still afraid that I've said too much. He's probably going to want me to leave after this, but there's not much I can do but answer him* It's a very good thing.
Karl: *Not just a good thing, but a 'very' good thing.* Oh.. *I'm dumbfounded by that.* Oh, good. *Real eloquent, Karl. I haven't a clue what to say. That nervous smile has me answering with one of my own slowly. I'm reading far too much into this, I'm sure. I have to be. After all, you're just my mate, and it feels like it's been a very long time since anyone has thought I'm a welcome distraction. I shift a bit getting comfortable, using it as an excuse to press my head against your fingers and so tempted to nuzzle against your leg that I clench my teeth against the inside of my bottom lip. Hell, that would only get me shoved off your lap, I'm sure, and I want to be close too much to risk it.*
Harry: *I flex my fingers in your hair when you press against them.* Yeah. *He hasn't rolled off my lap yet, which is good, but still, I probably said too much. I shift a little and pick up the remote, turning on the TV in hopes that it will distract him from this conversation. I'm sure I won't like where it goes, and I want to be here, touching him, too much to risk that*
Karl: *I exhale a slow, shuddering breath as your fingers move in my hair, just stilling against you and ruminating over just what your words might mean. I know what I'd like them to mean, but.. yeah right. Seems a little far fetched to hope you'd feel the same way, not that I can blame you for not, after all you've seen me at my worst I guess. I'm hardly even aware of just what you turn on, focused on my thoughts and not the TV. After a few quiet minutes though, I murmur a soft,* I think you're a very good distraction too, *before glancing over at the show.*
Harry: *I blush when he says that* Um, thanks. *I flex my fingers in his hair again, unable to stop myself from touching him, caressing him. I'm not sure what to think of his comment. I want to take it one way, but I'm sure that he just means that he's glad I'm distracting him from his woes over Marton. Just being a good mate, helping him through a tough time. And that's what I'm trying to do. I just...seem to want more now. But I'm not going to push it.*
Karl: *Your fingers in my hair have me purring softly, unable to resist encouraging those slight touches. I want them, hell, need them. Even if it does seem like you're more than likely just acknowledging my comment to be polite, I'll take what I can get. If I can't have what I really want, then this will have to suffice. It's not like I can press for more when you've already given me so much.*
Harry: *I keep stroking his head, pleased by the response, even if I know that he's probably thinking about someone else. I can pretend he's thinking about me, and then we're both happy, right? Well, happy for the moment anyway. At least I get to touch him, to have him close. And it seems to be helping him too, so it's good all around.*
Karl: *There's no way I can concentrate on the television show, all I can think about is your fingers tinning in my hair, and that purr grows a touch louder. Nothing feels better than being touched by you. I don't think anyone could compare, really, to just how relaxed and cared for you make me feel. I can't really stop myself from nuzzling against your leg, so completely content that I just want to wrap myself up in you.*
Harry: *When you nuzzle at my leg, I find myself stroking your cheek with my free hand, still running my other hand through your hair. It's instinct almost; I certainly didn't think about it before I did it, but once I've started, I find that I can't make myself stop*
Karl: *My eyes flutter closed as your fingers brush against my face, and I exhale a tremulous breath. Christ, that feels good. And really I should probably feel bad, drawing so much from such innocent touches. My skin heats beneath your fingers, flushing with those thoughts. You'd probably be mortified if you knew just how even that simple affection makes me feel. Before I even know what I'm doing, I've turned to press my lips lights against the fingers that had been stroking my cheek.*
Harry: *When he presses a kiss against my fingers, I freeze, trying to figure out what he wants. If he's thinking I'm someone else, this could be very bad, but if he knows that it's me...* Karl? *I ask in a choked voice, barely able to speak. I'm afraid of what the answer is going to be*
Karl: *Suddenly wide-eyed, I blink a few times as you call my name.* I..I.. oh fuck, m'sorry... *I've fucked up now, haven't I. Stupid, Karl, really fucking stupid.* M'so sorry. I.. *I can't say I didn't mean it, because I did. Hell, want to kiss far more than your fingers, but the tone of your voice makes it pretty clear I've upset you. I've fucked up, and I'm shaking as I sit up, suddenly scrambling off the couch.* I'm.. oh God, you're going to leave now.. aren't you? *My stomach turns with absolute dread at the prospect.* I...I understand, m'sorry though. I won't do it again.. if you stay. *Oh please, stay. Please please please. I want to beg you, but my voice is so soft, I don't even know if it'll work any more*
Harry: *I blanch at the idea of leaving, already feeling empty when you move away* Um, if you want me to. I, uh, shouldn't have, uh, you know. I'm sorry. *I start chewing on my lower lip, looking at you worriedly. I really don't want to leave, don't want to be away from you. I already feel empty without you touching me*
Karl: I don't want you to! Please.. I.. I'm sorry... just don't leave. Can't have you leave. *I probably say that too quickly, but I'm feeling frantic. I can't understand why you're sorry, though. That's just confusing. Shaking almost violently as I sink onto the other end of the couch, I can't believe I could be so stupid. but, you just make me feel.. fuck, feel things I haven't in so long. Not that I expect you to feel the same way, stupid of me, really. Hazel eyes are desperate as I look over at you.* J...just don't leave.. /please/.
Harry: Okay. *I slowly scoot down the couch towards him.* I won't. I don't want to. I, uh, I like it here. I like spending time with you. *I shift a little nervously, twisting my fingers together* I probably like it more than I should. *I admit very softly.* Sorry. *I wait for you to tell me that you've changed your mind, that you want me to leave now*
Karl: *I look at you uncertainly, still shivering even as I wrap my arms over my chest.* Why're you sorry? *I'm completely clueless as to why you might feel the need to apologize, and that confusion is evident in my voice. After all, I'm the one who's always trying to touch you, I'm the one who's always making you cuddle up with me, and hell I'm the one who just took things a touch too far by kissing you or well your fingers. The fact that you like it more than you should has a bit of the cobwebs clearing from my head, but still that's just unbelievable, I don't know how you like it here at all, m'sure there must be a dozen things more worthy of your time than sitting here with me.*
Harry: Because, you're...and I'm...and... *I take a deep breath, cowing you won't understand a word of that.* Because, I'm feeling things I shouldn't. For you. *I can't look at you.* You don't need that right now. And, I just...I shouldn't do that. I'm sorry. *I stand up and start to move towards the door, certain that you're going to want me to leave after that admission.*
Karl: *No, I don't understand a word of it at first. But then my eyes just widen, almost comically so. But you're not even looking at me, and that only makes me more frantic.* ...p...please.. *My voice is small, unsure and completely terrified as you stand.* Don't leave, Harry.. I..I won't be able to bear it. *Which makes me the worst sort of bastard, doesn't it? You deserve far better than me anyway, but I can't let you walk out. I just can't. As it is, I feel like I'm choking to death with watching you walk away from me, and I can't hold back the pained noise that catches in my throat as I nearly sob out.* .../please/..
Harry: *I stop when you say that, turning to look at you.* I shouldn't stay, Karl. It wouldn't be fair to either of us. *I sigh, running my hand over my head* You don't want what I want. And we'll just both end up hurt. *And if I stay, I'll do something stupid and then I'll lose you as a friend too, and I couldn't stand that.*
Karl: ...oh.. *It's more exhaled than said, my breath rushing out of me all at once. I'm sure I look like I've been slapped, stunned and trying to blink away the million and one emotions swelling in my eyes. My voice is inaudible when I speak,* Does it even matter if I feel the same way? *Probably not, you deserve so much more. Hell, all I have to offer you is myself, and I'm a wreck. Shaking, I fold myself up on the couch, tugging my legs up against my chest. I can't watch you walk out, I just can't so I press my face against my knees, biting my lip hard enough that I taste blood in my attempts not to cry.*
Harry: *I'm turning to go again when you say that.* You...you feel the same way? *I take a deep breath, my gut twisting as I look at you. I can't stand to see you like this, so I go over and kneel in front of you, putting my hands over yours.* But...I thought... *I sigh* What about Marton? I thought...'cause you two...and... *I can't even form a coherent sentence at the moment, I'm too overwhelmed by the idea that you might feel the same way, and too worried that I've completely fucked up and managed to send you back into the slump I'd pulled you out of*
Karl: *I jerk, startled when your hands cover mine. Looking up hesitantly, hazel eyes are utterly forlorn when they meet yours. I want to beg you not to leave, tell you I'd do anything to keep you here, but I can't seem to get the words past my lips. It doesn't seem very fair to you because I know you'd stay, you'd feel obligated to. And I don't want to keep you here, not if here isn't where you want to be.* I… yeah, Marton… he... *I shake my head not even sure what to say.* It.. it hasn't been Marton here putting me back together, Harry. Hasn't been Marton holding me at night. S'been you..*Worrying even more at my bottom lip, I shake my head, dropping my gaze again.* I.. I want you here, but if you wanna go, I.. I'll understand.
Harry: I thought you'd want me to leave. *I whisper, lifting your chin so you're looking into my eyes* I didn't want to push you or anything, that's all. Thought I'd make you uncomfortable after...after saying that. *I sigh and lean forward, resting my head on your knees* I don't want to lose you as a friend, Karl, that's all. I don't want to scare you away.
Karl: *Tilting my face into the touch of those fingers beneath my chin, I look at you like you've gone completely daft when you say you thought I'd want you to leave. Like that'll ever happen.* You can't make me uncomfortable, y'big wanker. Don't you get it? M'only comfortable when I'm with you, Harry. . *My voice is still tremulous and far too close to tears for comfort. Dropping my head to lean it against yours, I exhale a shuddering sigh, my voice falling impossibly softer.* You can't scare me away.. M'already scared, Harry. Scared of what m'feeling... but… m'not going anywhere.. Not so long as you're here..
Harry: What...what are you feeling? *I ask uncertainly. I think I know what you're saying, but I want to be sure. I can't just assume something like this. I lift my head and yours so I can look into your eyes. I need to see your eyes when you say this, need to know for sure*
Karl: I... *I flush as you lift my head, my gaze hesitant in meeting yours. I haven't admitted this to anyone, have trouble even admitting it to myself, but it's impossible to not answer you, even if it is only a whisper.* ..I want you.. and.. and every night I wrap myself 'round you, I worry that I won't be able to let go in the morning..
Harry: *I lean forward and rest my forehead against yours.* Really? *I reach up and stroke your cheek, smiling tentatively. I'm having trouble believing what I'm hearing--it's almost too much to hope for. Still, you said it, so maybe you mean it. My heart is fluttering in my chest as I wait for your answer*
Karl: Really... *I murmur softly, that touch against my cheek draws out a shiver that works its way very nearly from my head to my toes, eyes drifting almost shut. When they flutter open once more, you're still kneeling there in front of me, and I catch my bottom lip in between my teeth. My mind just keeps repeating 'please, don't leave' over and over in a silent plea that's visible in the worry clouding my gaze.*
Harry: *I smile softly when you admit that* Good. *Before you have a chance to react at all, I push forward and press my lips against yours. I keep the touch light, just in case I'm wrong, but I have to try. I can't just leave this, not now, not after we've gone this far. If I'm wrong, well, then, I'm wrong, and I'll deal with it, but there's this voice in the back of my head that's telling me that I have to do this, that I have to try. *
Karl: *I gasp softly as your lips meet mine, lips parting with the sound as warmth just pools through my body. Trembling, I uncurl myself, lowering my legs as I try to get closer to you, very nearly spilling myself off the couch as I cling to you. My own lips move just as softly and hesitantly against yours, and as unsure as I feel I can't deny that it feels damn good too, and I sigh softly into the caress of your lips.*
Harry: *When you respond like that, I deepen the kiss, wrapping my arms around you and pulling you closer, pressing our bodies together. My hands stroke your back, trying to soothe the trembles, even as my tongue swipes across your lips, asking to be let in. I need this, need to feel you, to taste you, to know that this is real and not some dream that I'm having.* Karl... *I moan against your lips, unwilling to break contact, wanting--needing--to touch you everywhere*
Karl: *Shivering as the wet heat of your tongue slides against my lips, I whimper softly. One hand fisted in the front of your shirt, my other slides slowly against the nape of your neck. Hearing you moan my name just sounds unreal. And beautiful. I don't think I've ever heard anything so wonderful, and I press closer, grateful for your arms wrapped securely around me. I curl my tongue against yours as I let you into my mouth, encouraging you with a soft sound of pleasure.*
Harry: *I slide my tongue into your mouth, delving into the crevices, exploring it, relishing the taste of you. I move one hand up to tangle it in your hair, keeping you close, while the other continues to stroke your back. God, I've wanted this for so long. It seems almost surreal, but it's wonderful. Beyond wonderful. I don't want this to ever end.*
Karl: *God, it's been a long time since I've been kissed like this, touched or wanted like this. My hand slides up the nape of your neck, fingers teasing into the short strands of your hair. Tilting my head as you kiss me, I moan softly into your mouth, suckling softly at your tongue as I try to pull every bit of taste from you I can. Pressing closer against you, I shiver, panting softly when I have to pull back for a breath and looking at you with widened and amazed eyes.*
Harry: *I look into your eyes and smile softly* I, uh, guess that answers that question. *I let out a little chuckle and lightly kiss you again, pulling back after just a brief moment* Guess we were both being a little dense.
Karl: *All I can do is nod at first, exhaling a soft,* .yeah.. *The next kiss doesn't last long enough by far to sate my craving for you, and when you pull back I tighten my grip on you, pressing my face against your neck, unable to stymie my sigh of relief.* Don't ever leave, Harry. Need you right here with me.
Harry: 'M not going anywhere. *I tell you firmly as I push you back on the couch and then climb up next to you. As nice as this is, my knees are starting to hurt from kneeling like that and I don't need that distraction at work tomorrow.* 'M gonna stay right here as long as you'll let me. *I wrap my arms around you and hold you close.*