all over the place...
I’ve never felt this way before. I have never been protective of a guy, or felt like I needed to be. My sophomore year I found a confidence I was lacking in my life. Recently it has been shattered. I wonder if I am really what I thought I was. I am not confident in my music, in my looks, or even in my sanity. After over a year of being together, we aren’t. He is busy with his new life, and I am stuck at home wondering. I see someone kiss on TV and I suddenly feel unworthy. Unworthy… the perfect word to describe my feelings. I am unworthy of his time, his love, his lips. Am I jaded? Our conversations are cold and dry, lacking the familiarity and affection I had grown so used to. I knew he would leave, but not leave me. Even though it has only been a few days, I feel us falling apart. I can see his reality change so drastically from mine that we no longer have things to talk about. Why would he want to hear about the immaturity of HF? How can I possibly understand all that he is seeing?
Recently we were talking about a friend and he said “He should just cut his losses and move on.” Was he really talking to me?