Guess this is growing up.
I used to draw.
Its what I always did. All over books, notepads, boxes, empty coffee cups. Sometimes I would even take the time to whip out the canvas and charcoal and go all out, make crazy pictures of my friends. Always challenging myself to see how realistic I could make it.
I don't do that anymore. I don't do anything really anymore.
I don't even know what I want to do, to be honest. The only word I can use lately is that I feel so defeated. So many aspects of my life are such a mess these days and I am so exhausted. Mentally and physically. I don't want to go to work, I sit there and have absolutely no motivation and can't find ways to push myself. It doesn't help when you can't stand your boss and the drama is overwhelming. No one would understand unless you worked in my department, either.
I wish I could feel more positive instead of all this shit bringing me down.
I wish I could funnel these feelings into working out, hell if I did I would be a size 2. Or even drawing. Something creative or productive to get out of this rut. All I want to do is go home, lay down and watch tv and that's what ive been doing.
There's so many things I want to change and I honestly have no fucking clue where to start, because everything feels so heavy and I just want to hide.
Its what I always did. All over books, notepads, boxes, empty coffee cups. Sometimes I would even take the time to whip out the canvas and charcoal and go all out, make crazy pictures of my friends. Always challenging myself to see how realistic I could make it.
I don't do that anymore. I don't do anything really anymore.
I don't even know what I want to do, to be honest. The only word I can use lately is that I feel so defeated. So many aspects of my life are such a mess these days and I am so exhausted. Mentally and physically. I don't want to go to work, I sit there and have absolutely no motivation and can't find ways to push myself. It doesn't help when you can't stand your boss and the drama is overwhelming. No one would understand unless you worked in my department, either.
I wish I could feel more positive instead of all this shit bringing me down.
I wish I could funnel these feelings into working out, hell if I did I would be a size 2. Or even drawing. Something creative or productive to get out of this rut. All I want to do is go home, lay down and watch tv and that's what ive been doing.
There's so many things I want to change and I honestly have no fucking clue where to start, because everything feels so heavy and I just want to hide.