Fic: Just So You Know (Beautiful Soul) (1/3)

[lostt1]

There was nothing special about the day Jensen Ackles first met Jared Padalecki. No earth-shattering quakes, no fireworks overhead. But then again, maybe Jensen just missed them. He was only nine, after all.

What he did remember was playing kickball with his best friend Jeff under the blistering hot Texas sun. It was a Tuesday, school had only been out for two weeks, and Jensen was high on the freedom summer brought. A wild kick has sent the ball flying across the park and when Jensen had finally returned from chasing it down, Jeff wasn't alone.

"Hey Jensen, this is my brother, Jared," Jeff had smiled wide, obviously proud. "I call him Squirt, though, 'cause he's so little."

"'m not little."

Jensen grinned down at the little boy hiding behind Jeff's legs, his messy mop of brown hair hiding his eyes as he stared at the ground. "Hi Jared, I'm Jensen."

Jeff nudged Jared gently on the shoulder. "Say hi," he whispered to his brother.

Jared had looked up then and greeted Jensen with a soft voice as he peeked around Jeff's body.

Dust went flying as Jensen dropped to his knees, bringing him closer to Jared's eye-level. "Would you like to play with us? We could always use another kicker."

Jared looked up at his brother, silently asking for permission. When Jeff nodded, Jared's shy smile grew brighter and he shook his head.

Jensen held out the ball and felt a warm rush when the little boy finally stepped away from Jeff's legs and out into the open. He accepted the ball and hugged it to his tiny chest.

"Come on, Squirt," Jensen said, laughing as he reached down to ruffle Jared's hair. "You and me, I think we're going to be great friends."

******

When Jensen thought about his history with Jared, he always remembered the little things. He remembered the way his heart had pounded when Jared jumped off the roof of a nearby church and into Jensen's arms. Jeff had dared him and Jared didn't think twice about accepting the challenge, never once doubting that Jensen would be there to catch him. He could still see Jared's gap-toothed smile as he grinned over at him from the third base plate during the little league championship game. He could still hear Jared and Jeff cheering and whistling for him after his first big recital.

Camping trips, family vacations, sneaking into movie theaters, late night video game tournaments, the three of them were inseparable. Jeff was Jensen's best friend and Jared, he was something more. So much of Jensen's life was wrapped up in Jared. Leaving him behind was the hardest thing Jensen ever did.

Not that he could ever truly escape.

"Hey jerk. Where've you been? You don't call, you don't write."

Jensen laughed, tucking the phone between his shoulder and his ear. "Whatever, bitch. You know you love me."

"Yeah, yeah," Jeff muttered. "How's Hollywood?"

"Eh," Jensen replied, moving around the kitchen as he talked, gathering the supplies to make himself a sandwich. "Snorted coke last night with some big producer, woke up next to another actor. You know, the usual."

"So you fell asleep grading papers after dragging yourself home after giving a couple more piano lessons?" Jensen could hear the amusement in Jeff's voice.

Jensen sighed. "Yeah, that's pretty much exactly what happened." Jeff grew quiet and Jensen knew something was up. "Ok, man, what's going on?"

"It's Jared."

Jensen's heart stuttered as he waited for Jeff to continue.

Jeff let out an annoyed huff. "Something's going on with him, something big. And he won't talk to me about it."

"Oh yeah?" Jensen asked. "Do you think it's a good something or a bad something? Because he seemed fine last time we talked."

"I don't know," Jeff growled, obviously frustrated. "He's just quiet right now, always moping around the house. He's just-"

Jensen snorted. "Let me guess. Little brother is always around and it's knocking your game. And it's driving you insane."

"No, that's not it." Jeff paused. "Well, ok, yes, he's making me insane. But there's definitely something going on with him. I think he really needs to talk to someone and he obviously doesn't want to talk to me about it."

"Because he is an intelligent human being and not an ant."

"Shut it, Ackles. I'm awesome and you're just jealous."

"Keep telling yourself that." Jensen couldn't stop grinning. He had missed talking to his best friend. Work had been crazy lately. Summer session was just about to start and preparations were a bitch. "So what do you want me to do?"

"Remember how when we were ten, I offered to share Jared with you because you were whining about not having siblings? Well, that offer had a catch and it's time for me to collect." Jeff sighed. "Can you just call him? Maybe he'll spill it to you."

"Yeah, ok. I can do that." Jensen balanced his plate in one hand as he grabbed a beer out of the fridge with the other. He moved to the next room and carefully settled on the couch.

By the time Jensen hung up the phone, the sandwich was long gone and the bottle of beer was half empty. Jensen stared at the flat surface of the coffee table, littered with papers covered with notes and words, half-completed thoughts and phrases jumping out at him.

He took a deep breath, willing his nerves to calm down. He wondered if it would always be like that for him when it came to Jared, figured it would. He grabbed the phone and dialed the familiar number. It rang once, then twice, and then the familiar drawl sounded in his ear.

Jensen grinned.

******

"Dear god, how much stuff did you fit in that truck of yours?"

Jared flashed one of his mega-watt smiles at Jensen before grunting as the weight of the drafting table shifted, pushing into his chest. "This should be the last of it. I think. I hope."

Jensen rolled his eyes and carefully climbed the stairs backward, trying to pull the weight off of Jared as he moved. "Oh my god, why do I live on the fourth floor again?"

"Because you were incredibly lucky and found this amazing place with high ceilings and lots of space and blah blah blah. It's your fault for moving into an old building with no elevator." Jared exhaled, blowing the bangs out of his face. Jensen watched the subtle play of muscles beneath Jared's t-shirt as he shifted the weight of the table. "Dude, stop on the landing. My arms are killing me."

For the past two hours, the two of them had done nothing but run up and down the flights of stairs, lugging boxes and furniture from Jared's rusted out Ford up to Jensen's spacious two-bedroom condo. To say that they were both exhausted would be the understatement of the century.

Jensen moved his foot back slowly and when he didn't encounter the edge of the next step, he knew it was time to take a short break. He set his end of the table down and pulled it back until it smacked the far wall. He leaned up against the tabletop, holding it in place so it wouldn't slide back down, crushing Jared in the process.

Jared rolled his shoulders and leaned forward, resting his forehead against the frame. "You sure it's cool for me to move in with you?" His words were muffled by the metal surface.

"Shouldn't you have asked that before we moved everything in?"

Jared lifted his head off the frame and shrugged. "Figured it would be harder to make me leave if all my stuff was here."

Jensen rolled his eyes. "Or I could just sell it off, piece by piece, for some extra spending money." He laughed. "Of course it's cool. I have plenty of room." Jensen grinned down at Jared. "Besides, it'd be nice to see your ugly mug more often. It's been too long."

Six years too long.

"Whatever." Jared rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Ackles."

"Make me, Padalecki." Jensen laughed. "Anyway, Jeff would kill me if I let you loose in the big, bad city on your own with no adult supervision.

"Like you're so much older than I am," Jared groaned. He glared up at Jensen and shook his head. "Have I ever told you how much I don't need two big brothers? Because seriously, between you and Jeff, I'm going to go insane. You're both pains in my ass. And in case you haven't noticed, I'm a big kid now."

Jensen laughed. "Just doing what I was told, which was, and I quote 'No girls, no strange dudes, no booze, no nothing. Keep him out of trouble. Tie him up in his room if you have to.'."

Jared just rolled his eyes. "I always knew Jeff was a kinky bastard."

Jensen snorted. He took a deep breath and wiped his hands on the legs of his jeans. "Ready to finish this?"

Jared stared at the ground as he chewed on his lower lip and Jensen tried not to stare at the pale pink flesh caught between straight white teeth. "Jen, you sure you're sure?"

Jensen sighed and kicked his leg out. Jared smacked Jensen's foot away with the hand not holding onto the table before it made contact with his chest. When Jared met his eyes, Jensen gave him a pointed stare. "Jay, if it wasn't ok, I wouldn't have asked. You're not a charity case and I'm not doing it for Jeff either. Which, by the way, don't tell him that. I still need him to think he owes me." Jared's lips tilted up at the corner and Jensen considered it a small victory. "Seriously. It'll be like the good ole days. I want you here, got it?"

Jared exhaled and nodded, giving him a nervous smile. "Got it."

"Good," Jensen grinned down at him. "Now stop being a whiny bitch and let's get this desk of yours into the apartment."

"I'm not a bitch, you're a bitch," Jared muttered as he picked up his end of the frame.

Jensen shifted his weight to get a better grip. "Wow. Great comeback. I thought Jeff and I raised you better, boy."

"Shut up," Jared huffed, his cheeks turning bright red. "I'm too tired to be witty."

"Uh huh," Jensen cocked an eyebrow and smirked. "You just keep telling yourself that."

"On three," Jared said, ignoring him. "One, two..."

Jensen grunted as he hauled the frame backwards.

Ten minutes and a few smooth maneuvers later, they were finally finished. Jensen stood in the middle of the living room, arms crossed, surveying the room. There were several boxes piled in the corner, the rest of them having already been shoved into Jared's room.

Jared was staring out the large window that took up most of the far wall, overlooking the city.

"So, I was thinking we'd move my piano over into that corner there." Jensen waited until he had Jared's attention before pointing to the open area next to the couch. "And then we can set up your table there next to the window. There's plenty of room in here and you can't beat the view."

Jared nodded before turning back to the window. "This place is amazing. I didn't know teaching paid so well. Jeff wasn't kidding when he said you had it made."

"What can I say? I'm the best," Jensen shrugged before flopping down on the couch. He glanced around the room, trying to see it through Jared's eyes. The condo was large and open with high ceilings and lots of windows that filled the room with natural light. The building was old, but the apartment itself had been completely remodeled.

Jensen's favorite place to sit and relax was the patio that overlooked the courtyard. The place was filled with history and when Jensen had seen it, he'd immediately felt a sense of home. He'd placed a bid the next day and never looked back.

"I'm almost afraid to touch anything," Jared said as he dropped down onto the sofa next to Jensen.

"It's not that bad," Jensen frowned, looking around the room, trying to see it from Jared's perspective. The furniture was more modern than he probably would've chosen for himself, but it was comfortable, which was all Jensen really cared about.

Jared glanced over at him and laughed. "Jen, I've been living with Jeff for the past two years. He has a futon with some questionable stains and a beer tower in the corner. Trust me when I say this is high class compared to that."

Jensen snorted and shrugged. That didn't sound too much different from the apartment he'd shared with Mike back in college. "Honestly, this all came with the place," he admitted, waving his hand through the air. "I bought this place off an interior designer. Apparently she likes to buy new homes and decorate them from the ground up every couple of years. As a hobby, if you can believe it. So it was a package deal. Great condo, great price, close to school, with all the furnishings. Except for-"

"The piano and-" Jared looked over at the corner, a small smile tugging on his lips. "I can't believe you still have that old thing." He tilted his head toward the beat-up guitar propped up on a stand against the wall, holding court next to Jensen's piano.

"Best gift I ever received," Jensen replied, watching Jared to see his reaction.

Jared flushed. "It wasn't that great."

"Oh please. It was the best and you know it."

Jensen could still remember the day Jared came to him, twelve years old and shy as hell, fingers twisting in the hem of his shirt as he gave Jensen a tiny smile. He and Jeff had been having a vicious battle of Tekken, their competitive rivalry the kind legends are made of. He'd been so close to winning when Jared had startled him, pulling the controller out of his hands without a word. Jensen's immediate reaction had been to throttle Jared, but he'd seen something in Jared's expression that made him hold back. Still silent, lower lip tucked between his teeth, Jared had reached out and grabbed his hand, tugging him away from the game and toward the bedroom he shared with Jeff.

Jensen could hear Jeff crow from the other room, but the game had already been forgotten, his interest piqued. Jared had been up to something the past few weeks, constantly disappearing only to show up hours later without any explanation. Jensen bit his lip, staying quiet as he followed Jared down the hall, hoping that maybe Jared would let him in on his secret.

Jensen hadn't known what to expect, but when he saw the guitar he'd been eyeing at the pawn shop all summer laid out on Jared's bed, coupled with that bright smile and soft eyes, Jensen had fallen hard.

When Jensen thought back to that day, he knew that day was a turning point. That was the moment something had changed between him and little Jared Padalecki. He was no longer just his best friend's kid brother. Jensen was sixteen, Jared was twelve, and Jensen knew even then that something had shifted between them. Before that day, he'd always thought of Jared with all the love and exasperation of an older brother. But somewhere along the way, those feelings had begun to change and develop in a way Jensen had not wanted to put a name to. And on that warm summer's day eight years ago, Jensen knew he'd never look at Jared the same way again. There was no going back and it scared the hell out of him.

He never did find out how Jared managed to buy the guitar but it hadn't really mattered. What mattered was the fact that Jared had known he'd wanted it in the first place. Jensen had never said anything to anyone, just admired the guitar through the window of the shop every time he had the chance, too hesitant to go inside. Music had always been an unspoken passion for Jensen, something he loved and craved more than anything else in the world. He'd been playing the piano since he was five, but he'd always wanted to learn the guitar. He'd just never had the means to make it happen.

Until Jared. It really was the greatest gift Jensen had ever received.

"Needed to give you something cool so you'd remember me when you left us all to become famous."

"Like I could ever forget you, asshole." Jensen shook his head in fond amusement. "I taught myself how to play with that guitar."

"I know." Jared's voice was soft. "You used to stop and stare at it in the window every time we went by the store. I always knew you were going to be awesome. "

Jared's cheeks flamed bright red as his eyes slipped shut and Jensen allowed himself a moment just to stare at him. He'd had a crush on Jared Padalecki for years, that day in late August back in Texas changing him forever. But Jared was like the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. He was tempting but completely off limits. He was just a kid. His best friend's kid brother. Jensen had still been coming to terms with the fact that he might be gay when Jared came along and pushed him right over that ledge and sent him tumbling headfirst down that rocky slope.

Jensen had hoped that time and distance would help him move on. The chance to study music and education at the prestigious Wyndham Academy was the opportunity he'd been looking for. He'd headed for the sandy beaches of the California shore and he'd never looked back. Once gone, he'd stayed away, remaining in California during breaks, claiming he had homework and recitals that couldn't be missed. He'd thrown himself into his music and making a life for himself. He'd dated. He'd made friends. But nothing worked.

One scholarship, one excited phone call, and one offer of hospitality later and Jensen's fragile illusion of moving on was burst.

Brief glimpses in photos from back home hadn't prepared him for what he found when he opened his door and found Jared standing on the other side, wide smile on his face and familiar slanted eyes staring back at him. No longer Jeff's annoying little brother, Jared was definitely all grown up now. He'd finally grown into those long, gangly limbs Jensen remembered. He'd added both inches and pounds, his features had grown sharper as the baby fat had melted away. Now Jared stood just taller than Jensen, broad shoulders tapering down to a narrow waist. He was definitely solid.

Jared was absolutely gorgeous. But it was more than that because Jensen knew that behind that stunning exterior, Jared had so much to offer. Jared was brilliant. He always knew what to say to make Jensen laugh. And when Jensen wanted to talk, Jared would listen. He always had this way of looking at Jensen, staring at him with wide eyes, expression soft and contemplative, that made Jensen want to spill all of his secrets.

Well, all of his secrets but one.

"Stop staring at me," Jared mumbled, his eyes remaining shut.

"I'm not," Jensen argued.

Jared snorted and lifted an eyebrow and Jensen's frown deepened. Seriously, how did Jared manage to do that without opening his eyes?

Jensen couldn't believe Jared was really there, sitting on his couch, everything he owned tucked away in boxes scattered all around the apartment. After years of nothing more than phone calls and emails, they were finally in the same room again. Jensen was feeling a little shell-shocked, unable to tear his eyes away.

"Perv," Jared said, breaking the silence. He rolled his head to the side and cracked his eyes open, catching Jensen staring.

Jensen could feel his face heat up as Jared's eyes opened fully, his gaze heavy and assessing. He turned away, glancing over his shoulder at the kitchen. "I thought maybe we'd just order some pizza tonight. I'm too tired to do anything else."

"I could eat," Jared bounced up off the couch, his sudden burst of energy making Jensen laugh.

"You always could."

"Hey, I'm a growing boy," Jared argued, his lower lip sticking out in a forced pout.

Jensen eyed him. "Still?"

Jared's face flushed and he ducked his head, his hand moving up to rub the back of his neck. "Um, yeah, probably." He shifted and tilted his head toward the kitchen, avoiding eye contact. "Menu?"

"On the fridge." Jensen replied.

"Such a neat freak," Jared muttered as he moved into the kitchen. He flipped through the take-out menus until he found the one he was looking for. He pulled it down and looked it over, his eyes scanning the tiny print as he pulled out his phone. He glanced over at Jensen. "You still like pepperoni and mushrooms?"

"And sausage," Jensen nodded. "And bacon and beef and chicken and-"

"Meat, meat, and more meat," Jared laughed. "Got it."

Jensen watched as Jared's fingers moved across the keys before he turned, his back to the living room. Jensen chewed on his lip as he watched this man who was an intriguing mix of the kid he once knew, awkward and nervous, and the man in front of him, steady and sure.

Six years later and he was right back where he started, his heart pounding when Jared entered a room. Only now Jared was all grown up, the boy he knew and loved wrapped up in this stunning adult package. And now they were living together, under one roof.

Oh yeah, this wasn't going to be awkward at all.

******

"Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty!"

Jensen smirked as he stared down at the lump of blankets and nudged it with his foot. By the time they'd had dinner and Jared finally allowed himself to relax last night, they were both too tired to even think about putting Jared's bed together. Jared said he'd be fine, just set his mattress down on the floor, tossed some blankets on top, and climbed into the nest.

At least this way, Jensen could kick him without moving much. He pressed the toe of his sneaker into something firm, possibly a thigh, earning himself a grumbled response.

"Go away," Jared mumbled as he rolled over, the covers falling down just enough to expose the top of his head.

"No can do." Jensen flopped down on the mattress, laughing at the low growl Jared emitted when Jensen's elbow dug into his side. "Come on, man. I promised to show you around so we need to get moving. Daylight's wasting!"

Jared tugged the blanket down and glared over at Jensen. "Seriously, who are you and what have you done with Jensen?"

Jensen chuckled. "What can I say? It looks bad if the teacher's half asleep so I learned to adjust."

Jared just quirked an eyebrow and Jensen shrugged, smile growing wider. "Or I've already inhaled three cups of coffee."

Jared gave him a sleepy grin. "That sounds more like it." He sat up, rubbing a large hand across his face, the blanket pooling at his waist.

Jensen stared at the bare expanse of skin, his mouth dropping open in shock.

Jared caught him staring and frowned. "What?"

"What happened to that skinny little nerd that was always following me and Jeff around?"

Jared glanced down and ducked his head, the flush creeping from his face down his chest. "He grew up."

"I'll say," Jensen snorted. "Not sure I can call you Squirt anymore without being ironic." He finally took pity on the blushing boy and rolled up to a seated position before giving him a quick punch to the shoulder. "Seriously, man, if you want me to show you how to get to the campus from here, we need to take off soon. I have rehearsal tonight."

"Breakfast first, though?"

Jensen rolled his eyes, smile firmly in place. "Yes, breakfast first. I know just the place. Best coffee this side of the city."

"Like you need any more coffee," Jared muttered. "Ok, fine. Give me fifteen." He yawned and stretched his arms high above his head, skin pulling tight, muscles flexing.

Jensen swallowed and jumped to his feet, heading for the door. He glanced over his shoulder and came to a dead halt, meeting Jared's confused look. "Shit."

"What?" Jared squinted up at him, the early morning sunlight bathing his features in its soft glow.

Jensen shook his head. "Dude, I totally forgot to call the sitter for tonight." He shot Jared an evil smirk. "Jeff is gonna kill me. I'm not sure you're quite ready to be left all alone."

Jared shook his head and Jensen only had a minute to duck, the pillow slapping against the wall behind him before sliding harmlessly to the floor.

He whooped, shooting through the door and racing down the hallway. "Eight minutes or I'm leaving without you!"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever, bitch."

******

"And that building right there is the science building." Jensen pointed over at a large brick building to the left as he and Jared made their way along the path that stretched along the campus. "Can't remember the official name for it, but that's what it is."

Jared nodded and took a sip of his coffee. He'd been quiet all morning, content to listen while Jensen rambled about anything and everything.

Jensen groaned and leaned over, knocking his shoulder against Jared's. "Come on, man. Work with me here."

Jared glanced over at him with a frown, his eyes hidden behind a pair of dark sunglasses. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I've been talking all morning but you haven't really said anything." Jensen waved a hand through the air. "Feel free to join in anytime. I'm getting tired of hearing my own voice."

Jared didn't say anything, simply veered off the path and headed for a stone bench underneath a couple of palm trees. Jensen sat down next to him and waited patiently for Jared to say something, anything, to break the silence.

"It's gorgeous here." Jared slouched down on the bench, his legs falling open in a casual sprawl.

Jensen nodded and tilted his head back, closing his eyes against the warm sun beating down on them from above. If he focused, he could hear the low roar of waves as they crashed against the shore only two blocks away.

Jared coughed, shifting uncomfortably next to him. "So what do you want to know?"

Jensen shrugged, keeping his eyes closed. "I don't know. How about why you decided to transfer out here."

Jared sighed and Jensen glanced over at him. Jared was chewing on his lower lip, obviously thinking about his answer. "It's a good school. One of my instructors at STU got his degree here, said it would be good for me, one of the best programs in the country. He helped me get in."

Jensen smiled and shook his head. "Helped, maybe. But the scholarship was all you. You always were too smart for your own good."

Jared gave a self-conscious shrug and Jensen frowned a little, sensing there was something else. "And?" he prompted.

"And what?" Jared turned his head away, staring at a couple of students making their way across the campus. "I guess I just needed a change of scenery."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted a chance to be myself, to grow up without my family breathing down my neck." Jared sighed and twisted in his seat so that he was facing Jensen. "Don't get me wrong, man. I love my family. But I just...I needed something that was mine. If I stayed in Texas, I'd always be Jeff Padalecki's little brother. No one would see me as anything else."

"Well, that's because you'll always be Jeff's bratty little brother."

"And I just-" Jared continued, ignoring the interruption. "I just really missed you."

Jensen shot a startled glance at Jared and once again cursed those dark sunglasses for hiding Jared's eyes. "What? We talk all the time."

Jared shook his head and Jensen didn't have to see his eyes to know he was rolling them in his direction. "Not the same, man." He paused, silence filling the air again. Then, quieter. "Six years. It's been six years. You were never gonna come home again, were you?"

Jensen sighed. "Not for awhile, no." He ran a hand through his hair, trying to find a way to explain himself, without telling Jared the main reason. "I was going to. But my parents were always coming out here to visit me instead. And then I just...I just needed-"

"Yeah," Jared nodded, letting him off the hook. His hands found the hem of his shirt and he tugged, pulling the material flat. "It's just..."

"Yeah?"

"You're Jeff's best friend." Jared stopped and shifted, hands still twisting in his shirt. "But you were kinda mine, too."

"Huh."

And really, what else could Jensen say to that?

******

Jensen sat at the piano, tinkering with the keys, listening as the simple melody filled the quiet room. School had just started up for the fall and the new session of the youth program wouldn't have its first meeting for another week, so he was enjoying a rare afternoon off. He pulled out the notebook filled with half-finished songs, figuring he might as well get some work done while he had the time.

Teaching wasn't Jensen's only career. He loved his job at Excelsior, a private school with heavy emphasis on the arts. Nothing could ever compare with the thrill he got every time one of his students mastered a complicated piece of music or composed their first lyrical masterpiece. Jensen was young and talented and he loved acting as a role model for his students. But he also never asked them to do something he wouldn't do himself and one thing he always asked of them was to never pass up an opportunity when it was presented.

As a student, one of Jensen's favorite classes was Music Composition. He loved thinking about the various elements of songs and figuring out how to bring everything together to form a single cohesive piece of music. It turned out that he had a knack for putting together lyrics and melodies that others wanted to listen to. He had always focused more on classical pieces himself, but then a project he worked on his freshman year ended up changing his life.

Words of encouragement and a strong push from his mentor had landed Jensen in unfamiliar territory. Five years and one agent later, Jensen was one of the most sought after young songwriters for pop artists. He had written over 30 songs for both up and coming artists and those that had been around for awhile. Eight of those songs had reached number one on the pop charts. They were all different, but they had one thing in common.

Every song he wrote was about Jared.

Back home in Texas, Jensen never once thought that one day he'd be writing pop music. He'd always been more of a mellow singer/songwriter type of guy. But his mentor had given him Lauren's number and after their first meeting, she'd agreed to take him on as a client, saying he had great potential and everything just fell into place.

Lauren was amazing. She was aggressive, vibrant and gorgeous and seemed to know everyone in the business. The first client she paired Jensen up with was Jesse McCartney, a young singer who had once been a member of a boy band but was looking to branch out with a solo career.

Jensen had written the first song as a joke. He never expected it to go anywhere but when it reached number fifteen on the charts, he started to panic. What if Jared heard the song? What if he realized the truth behind the lyrics?

The fear of being found out forced Jensen to make a decision. From that point on, he always used a pseudonym when introducing himself to clients and he focused on creating poppy, upbeat songs. Songs Jared would never, ever listen to. Songs that never had his name attached, pseudonym or real, when they were released. Change a pronoun here and there and no one would be the wiser.

At least, that's what Jensen hoped.

Jensen flipped through his notebook, scanning the various pages covered in notes and words. Jensen's heart and soul was poured across the pages in his messy, slanted scrawl. The notebook left him exposed, his every thought and desire on display for all to see.

Jensen frowned as he moved from one half-formed song to the next. He needed to put together a new piece for Jesse's upcoming album. They had worked together several times over the years since that first song and every time Jesse was looking for something new, something different, he came to Jensen. And Jensen always came through. Song after song, hit after hit, they worked well together.

But right now, he was struggling. He had all these bits and pieces but nothing seemed right. His deadline was looming and Lauren would be calling soon. He needed to have something to show her.

Jensen turned the page and hummed the first few lines before touching the keys, the soft melody soon filling the air.

Maybe he could make this one work.

******

"Been working on anything lately?"

Jensen sighed as he slipped into the booth across from Riley. "Trying. I've been attempting to finish up a new one for Jesse but it's just not working. My muse is officially on vacation."

Riley quirked an eyebrow and snorted into his coffee. "I thought your muse just moved in with you."

"Shut up." Jensen groaned, turning his focus to his own cup of coffee. Riley was a good friend, a fellow teacher at Excelsior with a love for old-school rock n' roll. He was also the only person in Jensen's life who knew absolutely everything. "How the hell did you get me to tell you about Jared again?"

"I've got mad skills," Riley smirked and leaned back, relaxing into his seat. "If you hadn't gotten drunk and spilled the beans, I would've figured it out anyway."

"Oh yeah, you think so?" Jensen shook his head and stared out the window, watching people as they walked by. "How do you figure that?"

"It's obvious." Riley shrugged as Jensen gave him a sideways glance. "I mean, the way you talk about him-"

"Then how come Chris hasn't figured it out?"

Riley snorted. "Because it's Chris? He didn't even realize you were gay until you brought Max to his show and introduced him as your boyfriend. And that was after you told him you were gay. Twice."

"Good point."

"Anyway, I'm pretty sure Steve knows."

"What!?" Jensen set his coffee mug down on the table before he could spill it. "How?"

"Like I said, anyone who knows you and actually pays attention-"

"Oh god," Jensen covered his face with his hands, mortified at the idea of being so obvious. "You don't think-"

"That Jared's figured it out?" At Jensen's nod, Riley shook his head. "Nah, man. Probably not. He hasn't seen you in years and I doubt you've been all that drunk since he moved in."

Jensen made a silent promise to himself to be more careful around Jared, just in case. Living with him was going to be hard enough. Watching everything he said would be a nightmare.

Riley waved at one of the baristas as she filled the creamers across the cafe before turning his attention back to Jensen. "So how's it been going with Jared?"

"It's been a little awkward," Jensen admitted. "It's just so strange to have him around all the time after six years of never seeing him and only talking every so often on the phone."

"Have you told him about your ghostwriting?"

Jensen stared at Riley. "No. Why would I do that?"

Riley shrugged. "He's going to find out eventually. I mean, how are you planning to hide it when he's living with you? Shut yourself away in your room every time you try to write something new?"

"I don't know. I'll figure something out. Not that it matters right now. I haven't been able to write anything all week."

"You'll adjust." Riley shifted and leaned forward, elbows on the table. "How'd Jared's first week of school go?"

Jensen laughed and pushed his empty glass away from him. "He's surviving. I don't think I've ever heard him curse so much in his entire life, though. I guess the instructors decided to jump right into things."

"I remember what that's like." Riley grinned. "We are obviously way cooler than any teacher he has."

"He already has a couple big projects to work on and he's been out looking for a job every night." Jensen shrugged. "I keep telling him he doesn't need to worry about it, but-"

"He doesn't want to take advantage."

Jensen nodded. He frowned as he thought about Jared's other news. "He met a girl."

Riley gave him an appraising glance. "A girl friend or a girlfriend?"

Jensen frowned. "I don't know. He didn't say." He paused, thinking about the conversation a couple nights ago, listening to Jared as he tried to tell Jensen about Katie without blushing. "He's just...he's so shy. Painfully so. Jeff said he'd gotten better, but I don't know. He hasn't seemed much better to me. And the girls around here-"

Riley snorted. "Jensen, are you afraid he's going to get taken advantage of? Trying to protect his virtue?"

"Yes!" Jensen paused. "No, I mean. God, I don't know. It's just weird to think he's already made a new friend."

"Awww, you're jealous."

Jensen glared at his friend, but couldn't really deny the truth. He knew it was ridiculous, but he didn't want to share Jared. At least, not just yet, not so soon after he'd gotten there. Jensen glanced down at his watch and groaned. "Fuck. I really need to go. I need to have something for Lauren before she calls again."

"When's she going to be calling?"

"I don't know," Jensen shrugged. "She's been out of town on vacation but she gets back Sunday. So probably first thing Monday morning, knowing her."

"Then relax, you have time." Riley laughed as Jensen glared at him. "Look, you're just stressed out and you've never been good at writing under pressure."

"Yeah, I know." Jensen ran a hand across his face. He could feel the tension building and desperately prayed for some inspiration.

"Hey, Chris and Steve are in town this week so why don't we see about getting together, doing something non-music for once."

Jensen raised an eyebrow. "Such as?"

"I don't know. A movie or something. You can even bring the kid so we can all meet him." Riley gave Jensen a pointed stare. "So how about it?"

Jensen gave him a small smile. He could definitely use the break. "Sure. Why not?"

******

"Hey Jay, you here?"

Jensen shut the door behind him as he glanced into the living room for his roommate. He'd seen Jared's truck parked out front so he knew he was home. Now he just needed to find him.

"Jay?"

When no answer came, Jensen headed down the hall. He poked his head through the open door to Jared's room, but he was nowhere to be found.

Jensen frowned and headed back towards the living room. He was just pulling his phone out to give Jared a call when the front door opened.

"Jen?"

"Hey," Jensen replied, turning toward the door. He couldn't help but stare as Jared closed the door behind him, a towel slung slow on his hips, his hair dripping water down his face and bare chest. "You're wet."

Jared snorted. "Astute observation skills you've got there."

Jensen flushed. "I mean..."

Jared just shook his head, tiny droplets flying through the air. "Went for a run and felt disgusting, so I hopped in the pool."

"Oh." Jensen really wished he had something more intelligent to say, but he had nothing.

"I'm just gonna-" Jared motioned toward his room.

"Yeah," Jensen agreed. He suddenly remembered why he'd been looking for Jared. "Oh hey!"

Jared stopped halfway down the hall and turned to face him. "Yeah?" He pulled the towel away from his waist, revealing the colorful trunks underneath, and scrubbed it through his hair.

Jensen tore his eyes away from the play of muscles in front of him and forced them up, meeting Jared's curious stare. "Some friends and I were planning on going to the movies, do something other than go out drinking for once. I was wondering if you'd like to go with us."

"Tonight?"

Jensen shook his head. "Nah, we were thinking tomorrow. My buddies Chris and Steve just got into town and knowing Chris, he probably has a hangover already."

Jared glanced at the clock. "It's four in the afternoon."

Jensen smirked. "Exactly." He shrugged. "Anyway, thought you might like to meet them. You game?"

"You actually want me to hang out with your friends?" Jared tilted his head to the side, eyes questioning.

Jensen frowned. "Why wouldn't I?"

It was Jared's turn to shrug. "I don't know. Not really cool to have your best friend's kid brother hanging around all the time, is it?"

Jensen sighed and shook his head. "Man, I thought we covered this. You may be Jeff's little brother and an annoying pain in the ass sometimes, but I actually like having you around. You can be my own personal minion or something."

Jared grinned. "In your dreams, dude."

Jensen shrugged. If only Jared knew. "You in?"

Jared nodded. "Yeah, I'm in."

"Great," Jensen replied, smiling wide. "Now go dry off. You're creating a lake in the hallway."

"That's what I was trying to do when you-" Jared huffed, rolling his eyes in exasperation. "Never mind."

He ducked into his room, towel trailing behind him, and Jensen slumped against the wall. Living with Jared was going to be a lot harder than he'd expected, especially if he kept running around half dressed and wet.

"Oh hey, Jen?" Jared poked his head out of his doorway, eyes widening when he found Jensen still in the hall.

Jensen fought his blush and cocked an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"Do you think it would be ok if I asked a friend to join us?" Jared asked, hand pushing back the bangs that had fallen in his face. "It's just I said I'd call and-"

Jensen waved him off. "Sure, that's cool." He frowned. "Who?"

Jared grinned, dimples flashing. "Katie."

******

Jensen hated Katie.

Ok, so he didn't really hate her. He just really, really wanted to. But she made it nearly impossible.

They had decided to meet up in front of the movie theater and like always, Jensen was the first to arrive. Only this time, he had Jared with him. The two of them had been staring up at the marquee, discussing their options, when a loud squeal sounded just behind them.

Jensen turned around just in time to see Jared get jumped by a blonde bombshell. She looped her arms around Jared's neck and he laughed, arms wrapping around her tiny waist and lifting her off the ground.

"Jared, my bestest buddy in the whole wide world."

Jared set her back down on the ground and gave her an amused look. "Your bestest buddy? We just met last week."

Katie shrugged, tossing her long blond hair over her shoulder. "Doesn't make any difference. You and me, baby, we're kindred." She pulled back and adjusted the collar of Jared's shirt, smiling up at him as he rolled his eyes in fond amusement.

Jensen knew he was staring, but he couldn't help it. He'd never seen Jared act this relaxed with anyone outside of his own family before. Feeling uncomfortably like a third wheel, he coughed into his fist.

Jared pulled back and smiled at his friend. "Katie, this is Jensen. Jensen, Katie." He motioned between them.

Jensen gave her a smile, hoping it appeared genuine. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise," she said, tucking her arm into Jared's. She pulled him down and whispered something into his ear, making him blush, before turning to Jensen. "So, have you guys decided what we're going to see?"

Jensen shook his head, his chest burning with a sudden flare of jealousy. "Nah, we're just waiting on-"

"Hey Hooker!"

"Shut it, asshole!" Jensen immediately hollered back before sighing. He rubbed a hand across his face. "And there they are, right on cue." He caught Jared giving him a strange look and just shook his head, not really wanting to explain.

Chris loped over to their small group and swung an arm around Jensen's shoulders. "Heya Jenny, long time no see."

"Hello to you, too, Chris," Jensen muttered before smiling as the other two approached at a more sedate pace. "Hey Steve."

"Jensen," Steve replied, pulling Jensen away from Chris into a loose hug. "Been too long, man. Too long."

Jensen shrugged. "What can I say? We can't all be rock stars, traveling the country."

Steve snorted. "We're hardly rock stars."

"But we will be." Chris bumped his shoulder into Steve's.

Steve just shook his head, an expression of fond amusement tossed in Chris's direction. He threw an arm around Jensen's shoulders. "So how're things? How's school? How's that crush of-"

Riley coughed, attempting to cover up whatever Steve had been going to say. Jensen glared at his friend, eyes wide. Riley just shrugged before turning his attention to Jared and Katie, who were standing off the side, looking slightly out of place.

"Hey man, you must be Jared," Riley leaned forward, offering his hand. "Nice to finally meet you."

Chris looked Jared over and lifted an eyebrow in Jensen's direction. "So this is the great Padawhata?"

Jared rolled his eyes. "It's Jared, actually."

Jensen sighed. "Chris, Jared and his friend Katie, Steve, and Riley." He made the introductions, pointing to each one.

"And now that we all know who we are," Chris released his grip on Jensen and turned to the door. "Let's go watch shit get blown up."

Jared leaned forward, his lips brushing the shell of Jensen's ear. "Jenny?"

Jensen glared at his friend. "Under no circumstances, unless under the threat of pain or death-"

"Got it," Jared laughed, grabbing the door and holding it open for Katie before following her into the building. He glanced back at Jensen over his shoulder. "But just wait until I tell Jeff."

Jensen groaned. Sometimes he really hated his friends. Fucking Kane.

******

Jensen groaned as he slowly climbed the stairs to his apartment. It had been a long day and he was exhausted. Rehearsal had been a total and complete nightmare. Every semester, Excelsior put on a recital so the students could show off what they've learned. Jensen couldn't remember any of the previous groups being so tiring. Students kept missing their cues, sheet music simply disappeared from stands, and the entire trumpet section seemed to be suffering from the same bad cold. Jensen could still feel the annoyance and frustration beneath his skin. And that was just after dealing with the high school students. The little kids that attended the youth program were intent on terrorizing everyone that had the misfortune to be less than ten feet away from the theater. Jensen just wanted to take a long, hot shower and then climb into bed.

But of course, that wasn't going to happen.

Jensen sighed. He knew he had to have something to show Lauren by Friday or she would have his balls. The song for Jesse's album was already overdue and if he didn't get started, he'd miss his next two deadlines as well. Lauren had called to check in with him on Monday, just like he'd expected and the conversation hadn't exactly gone well. Lauren was trying to be understanding but she had a job to do, too, and Jensen knew that he was letting her down. He hated letting people down.

After a couple tired fumbles, Jensen managed to get the key in the lock and let himself into the apartment. The lights were on but everything was quiet as Jensen pushed his way through the front door. He set his bag down on the floor and tossed his keys on the nearby table. "Jay?"

"In here."

Jensen smiled as he followed the muffled sound into the living room. Jared was hunched over his drafting table, his nose barely two inches from the surface as his hand traced solid lines across a large sheet of paper. Jensen took a moment to admire the way the gentle glow of the lamp lit up Jared's profile. His shaggy hair fell across his face, hiding his eyes, and his shoulders were hunched, the muscles tight with tension.

"Whatcha doin?" Jensen leaned back against the wall.

Jared sighed and sat up straight. "Just trying to finish this project. It's not due until next Wednesday, but I just want it over with. It's worth a quarter of my grade and I've been working on it forever." He rolled his shoulders, loosening stiff muscles, before glancing over at Jensen. He reached up, pushing his hair out of his face, and Jensen inhaled sharply.

Jared frowned. "What?"

Jensen gave himself a mental shake and motioned at the black frames perched on Jared's nose. "Those new?"

Jared's brows drew together in confusion for a moment before realization hit. He flushed and ducked his head, cheeks pink with embarrassment. He reached up and ran his thumb along the thin wire pressed against his temple. "Nah. I just wear these when I'm working on a project. Helps me see the lines and numbers."

Jensen stared at the man in front of him, his eyes lingering on the unfamiliar accessory before forcing his attention elsewhere. He'd always had a thing for guys with glasses and he'd always had a thing for Jared. Putting the two together sent his head spinning. He picked up the mail that was sitting on the end table and began flipping through the stack. "You know what else helps? Write bigger."

"Shut up, asshole."

Jensen glanced up and saw the faint edge of a smile curling Jared's lips. He grinned and flopped down on the couch, tossing the mail back on the table. He couldn't stop the groan of pleasure from escaping as he sank into the cushion.

"Long day?" Jared stood up and turned around, straddling the chair before sitting back down.

"You could say that." Jensen rubbed a hand across the bridge of his nose. "Classes were fine but rehearsal was a disaster. And the kids? I swear, there must be a full moon tonight. I thought I'd never get out of there. How about you?"

Jared shrugged and reached down to play with the hem of his shirt. Jensen smiled at the nervous gesture Jared had never really grown out of. Jensen wondered if Jared would ever get over his shyness. If he was still this shy around someone he'd known for most of his life, how did he manage around all the new people at school? It was a miracle he'd even made friends with Katie.

"It was actually kind of weird."

"Oh yeah?" Jensen raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

Jared leaned forward, propping his chin on the back of the chair. He met Jensen's eyes for a short second before dropping his gaze back to the floor. He mumbled something and Jensen frowned.

"Seriously? Was that even English?"

Jared flushed dark red and Jensen couldn't help but grin. Jared really was too adorable for words sometimes.

Jared huffed out a breath and lifted his eyes. "I said that this guy asked if I'd be interested in modeling."

Jensen stared at him for a moment. "You sure he wasn't just trying to get in your pants." He frowned at the idea of someone, anyone, trying to take advantage of Jared.

Jared shook his head and sighed. "Nah. Trust me, that's what I thought at first, too. But he gave me his card. I told Katie about it and she said he's legit." Jared leaned back and lifted his hips up off the chair, shoving his hand deep in his jeans' pocket. Jensen bit his lip as he watched Jared's muscles shift beneath the thin cotton pulled tight across his chest. Jared settled back in the chair and held up a simple white business card.

Jensen took the card and looked it over. "JD Morgan?"

Jared nodded and Jensen's eyes widened. "Jay, he's legit alright. He's one of the best modeling agents around here."

Jared gave him a skeptical glance. "And you know this how?" A mischievous grin suddenly lit up his face. "Ooh! I know! You arrived in California scared and all alone and-"

"Don't even think about finishing that thought," Jensen growled. "No, it's just that he's-" Jensen stopped suddenly, realizing he couldn't tell Jared exactly how he knew Jeff. Not without telling him about his songwriting career first. And that wasn't something he was ready to share just yet.

Jared was staring at him, waiting for him to continue.

Jensen swallowed. "His girlfriend manages someone I know. She's always talking about how good he is." Jensen pushed down the tiny flare of guilt. It was close enough to the truth. Lauren was constantly telling him that she had the ear for music while he had the eye for gorgeous. Looking at Jared, Jensen had to agree.

"So? You going to do it?"

"Be a model?" Jared snorted and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. I mean, I've been thinking about it all day."

Jensen waited for a moment before prompting him. "And-?"

"And nothing." Jared rolled his eyes and shoved his hair back out of his face. Jensen found himself mesmerized once again by the thin black frames perched on Jared's nose.

"It's good money, but-" Jared waved a hand in the air, obviously flustered.

Jensen raised an eyebrow in a silent question and Jared looked down at the floor.

Jared huffed out a breath. "But why me?"

This time, it was Jensen who snorted. "Have you looked in a mirror lately?"

"I'm all skinny and awkward and-" Jared scrunched up his nose in disgust.

"Yeah, maybe you were six years ago," Jensen admitted. "But Jared, you're not that kid anymore. Face it, you're hot."

"I'm not-"

"And stop fishing for compliments."

Jensen laughed as Jared stared back at him, mouth opening and closing like a fish. "Seriously, Jay, just give him a call. Go see him. JD obviously saw something he liked or he wouldn't have stopped you in the first place. So have a meeting with him. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Jared muttered.

"Of course I am," Jensen agreed. He clapped his hands together. "Now, how about some food? I'm starving."

Part Two