Quiet is the new loud
Its been a month now since I last spoke to Tina and even longer than that with Lesley. They both disappeared on me without an explanation. Tina hasn't been there as much, she would always tell me about how much she likes me and how were going to meet up, but it was all a lie, when she couldn't even back it up. Instead she would disappear on me the day we were going to meet up. This happened many times in the holidays till the point where I got fed up and broke up with her via text because she makes it impossible to contact her, after that I never heard from her again. Now I find myself back where I started, the lonely nights in my room with my music, with no one to talk to or have a night out. Its as if all the loneliness was once filled with Lesleys presence once and now its all gone. I admit its not the same without her.. but slowly I'm starting to get use to this all again. The only day I look forward to out of the week is Monday nights, I get to see Tiffany. Tiffany I had met a while back around the same time I met Tina, but theres something about Tiffany when I go to work that she makes me smile like Lesley did at one point. Its the way shes always this happy, carefree, free spirited girl. We have funny conversations and are always silly, just having fun. Thats the only time I actually feel alive and remember how it was to be happy. The rest of the weeks in stuck in my room or going out to buy stuff, but that doesnt even fill the void of sadness sometimes.