TF2 and something I'm not sure about.
Given my last rail on FF games, - before I get to the madness that was TF2...If you've not played your way through FFX I would reccomend skipping the following. Spoilers for FFX and The Last Unicorn.
I think about death a lot. I've had some strange experiences - my own potential, friends, seeing dieases, bad situations and even at the MS Society where I worked in 2008...all of it.It's always been not even just a thing that happens at old age one day. I fear it and it makes for a very emotional part of story teling.
the most emotional thing that ever happened to me was about 2006 when my mother was in the hospital. She had a tumour similar to what I had in 2008. It was benign but it was growing and I had to have it out. I was in the hospital waiting for my mother to get done with the radiation treatment. Let me tell you it is a wrench to be a healthy person OR to have something NOT fatal and sitting in that room.
And a little girl ripped my heart right out that day.
I was just reading a magazine y'see. And totally unawares I was about to get struck down by this literally awful thing. It was doubly awful when I was in there for treatment myself but this day was....shit I think I DID go home and drink until I couldn't feel anything anymore.I wasn't sick or being treated at the time. Mum knew she wasn't in there for anything particular. There was no scare. I'd been out in Toronto with my friends for the day with some of my mates and was going to go home with her after the treatment.
I'm sitting there. I've been down to Princess Margaret's Cancer ward before TWICE now. My mate JP...we MET becausee of that.
So anyway this little Girl pops up out of nowhere and she's obviously a patient. Lost all her hair, rail thin, hurts your heart to see this.
And she says to me - and I will never EVER forget this to my dying day. I cried and told my mother on the way home - I was shattered. This same little girl comes and sits next to me. I normmally HATE kids. I don't mean anything by it I jut can't relate. But, she says "Why are you here It's unfair. You're beautiful." And...I swear I suddenly didn't know how to make my mouth work. I just cried and I suppose she got embaressed and left. What would YOU do? She was a pretty girl I should have said something.
so where we are going was - I spoilerifically mentioned Tidus' sacrifice in FFX and it made me cry. ...but for far different reasons than you might imagine. I've never quite understood why I want immortality more than you can imagine. I'd never hate it. I want badly to see how the world ends. I've never tried to picture it but -- ever since I discovered the art of storytelling it's been a passion of mine. I doubt I'll ever tell a great story. But I've always been enamoured by immortality. That said, I have another clock ticking moment. I always hoped that when reality strikes and I die, it'd be by doing something sacrificial. Ain't gonna happen but I want to be Tisus or the Last Unicorn against the Red Bull. Give my borrowed time to someone else. God willing I still can someday give my life so others can live. It's stupid and sentimental but....there you have it. I also really hope that somehow that's the way it goes down with me. Would love to live a good long life but I hope that my stats as an organ donor will result in me giving my innards (NOT my liver no one wants that.) to someone and them living longer for it.
And now that I've ripped your hearts out...have some FUN
TF2 this weekend and the night out was a true blast. I have never had more fun. We've very class dedicated around here. I groove around and try some different shit out but we definitely stick with what we know here.
So Game 1 was 'fuck the classes to hell'. I played a Spy. I SOMEHOW had a crowning moment of awesome where I just telefraged an Engineer. Total fluke. I FAIL as a spy. I was sure they were going to make me Medic it up.
Game 2 was us on our regular beat. We WON. Shit son I will MISS these guys bad.
Finally Pub: And that's a update to itself.
I think about death a lot. I've had some strange experiences - my own potential, friends, seeing dieases, bad situations and even at the MS Society where I worked in 2008...all of it.It's always been not even just a thing that happens at old age one day. I fear it and it makes for a very emotional part of story teling.
the most emotional thing that ever happened to me was about 2006 when my mother was in the hospital. She had a tumour similar to what I had in 2008. It was benign but it was growing and I had to have it out. I was in the hospital waiting for my mother to get done with the radiation treatment. Let me tell you it is a wrench to be a healthy person OR to have something NOT fatal and sitting in that room.
And a little girl ripped my heart right out that day.
I was just reading a magazine y'see. And totally unawares I was about to get struck down by this literally awful thing. It was doubly awful when I was in there for treatment myself but this day was....shit I think I DID go home and drink until I couldn't feel anything anymore.I wasn't sick or being treated at the time. Mum knew she wasn't in there for anything particular. There was no scare. I'd been out in Toronto with my friends for the day with some of my mates and was going to go home with her after the treatment.
I'm sitting there. I've been down to Princess Margaret's Cancer ward before TWICE now. My mate JP...we MET becausee of that.
So anyway this little Girl pops up out of nowhere and she's obviously a patient. Lost all her hair, rail thin, hurts your heart to see this.
And she says to me - and I will never EVER forget this to my dying day. I cried and told my mother on the way home - I was shattered. This same little girl comes and sits next to me. I normmally HATE kids. I don't mean anything by it I jut can't relate. But, she says "Why are you here It's unfair. You're beautiful." And...I swear I suddenly didn't know how to make my mouth work. I just cried and I suppose she got embaressed and left. What would YOU do? She was a pretty girl I should have said something.
so where we are going was - I spoilerifically mentioned Tidus' sacrifice in FFX and it made me cry. ...but for far different reasons than you might imagine. I've never quite understood why I want immortality more than you can imagine. I'd never hate it. I want badly to see how the world ends. I've never tried to picture it but -- ever since I discovered the art of storytelling it's been a passion of mine. I doubt I'll ever tell a great story. But I've always been enamoured by immortality. That said, I have another clock ticking moment. I always hoped that when reality strikes and I die, it'd be by doing something sacrificial. Ain't gonna happen but I want to be Tisus or the Last Unicorn against the Red Bull. Give my borrowed time to someone else. God willing I still can someday give my life so others can live. It's stupid and sentimental but....there you have it. I also really hope that somehow that's the way it goes down with me. Would love to live a good long life but I hope that my stats as an organ donor will result in me giving my innards (NOT my liver no one wants that.) to someone and them living longer for it.
And now that I've ripped your hearts out...have some FUN
TF2 this weekend and the night out was a true blast. I have never had more fun. We've very class dedicated around here. I groove around and try some different shit out but we definitely stick with what we know here.
So Game 1 was 'fuck the classes to hell'. I played a Spy. I SOMEHOW had a crowning moment of awesome where I just telefraged an Engineer. Total fluke. I FAIL as a spy. I was sure they were going to make me Medic it up.
Game 2 was us on our regular beat. We WON. Shit son I will MISS these guys bad.
Finally Pub: And that's a update to itself.