Falling into Flames
What's wrong with me? Why do I always do this to myself? I can't seem to stay happy ever, it's like there is a magnet in me that triggers after so long of being happy, and this magnet pulls up all these bad feelings that I spend so much time and energy to fight off. And no one around me realizes the pain I endure, and no one understands me like I need them to. I can sit next to the ones that supposedly care the most, and no one can even get the hint, or the clue that I am hurting like I do. And I would say something to point it out, but when I dont understand exactly whats wrong, how can I help out? I feel like I am in a never ending spiral, except one day it may bring me up, and the next pull me back down. I want nothing more than to be happy, and if it was possible I believe I would be by now, but Im starting to think that will never happen now. I need some help, some medication please, before I go and do things I will regret with ease. I know how my mind reacts to my craziness, and I fear I am nearing the point of doing these things that will harm me. I just dont know where else I have to turn. but somehow maybe I will figure this out and learn.