One. - Voice

[lostmy_wings]

[Inadvertently activated.]

Is this - is this fucking purgatory?! Oh, come on! The Mooby thing wasn’t good enough? Those guys were fucking assholes, I was trying to get back on Your side! Hey - I tried to stop him, okay? I tried. Not my fault he fuckin’ shivved me. That shit was low

Comments

[f_ckitybye]

Ignore the fuckers giving you stick about the language. Some people can't take a fucking joke without getting their minges in a twist.

[lostmy_wings]

Oh, finally, someone who's talking a little fucking sense.

I'm Loki, who're you?

[f_ckitybye]

Malcolm Tucker. What's your story, then?

[lostmy_wings]

I flipped God off and was sentenced to spend eternity in Wisconsin. Not too sure if this is an improvement yet.

[f_ckitybye]

Wisconsin? Fucking hell. What would he have done if you'd dropped your trousers or something-sent you to fucking North Dakota?

[lostmy_wings]

Nah. Angels don't have anything with which to offend. Maybe just the sentiment would've done it though.

Since I was fucking drunk at the time, God decided it'd be an awesome idea to decree that no angels could drink alcohol from then on out. So, stuck in Wisconsin for eternity, no fucking booze, and no getting laid. And then after the end of the world, I was supposed to like sit outside the gates of heaven 'cause I got un-invited to the party. Forever. So maybe a little bit worse than hell.

[f_ckitybye]

Always reckoned God had to be a sadistic old fucker. That's why I never had much truck with religion.

[lostmy_wings]

Yeah, religion's awful. Never really liked it, even if I do like what it tries to be. The truth. Right up until they write you out of the book.

[f_ckitybye]

Interesting talk coming from an angel.

...you really are a fucking angel, yeah?

[lostmy_wings]

Yeah. Until...about two hours ago, I guess. Got my wings less-than-surgically removed. Now what's left of 'em fucking hurts since I'm not drunk anymore.

Oh, by the way - that bell-ringing thing, from like, It's A Wonderful Life? As far as I can guess that doesn't even work. Not unless He's got a quirky sense of humor and changed the rules after that movie came out.