Sadness weighing me down as if I'm sinking to the ground of the sea with my feet stuck in concrete. A still and unobtrusive sadness like a silent shadow like a long forgotten friend, a penumbral memory faint like a grey cat in the half-light of dusk. Lugubriousness ( Read more... )

Senile Bettflucht means literally "senile flight-from-bed" and is an ironical expression for how old people always wake up extremely early in the morning. I do that, too. At 5 AM on a weekend I'm wide awake, electrified and my head's insides are spinning in crazed colour and blinding light. I really need to get my running shoes and my fucking ( Read more... )

05:00 am. Hands pushing against heavy swing doors. The metal is sticky from the touch of many hands, beer, sweat, condensating humidity. The doors are heavy and the gush of fresh, cold air hits my face like a tidal wave. I didn't notice just how bad the air inside had been. Though it's been a lot better since smoking in bars and restaurants had ( Read more... )

On Saturday I slept. For 16 hours. Six-fucking-teen hours. I had promised to cook dinner, I had promised to do some more cleaning, I had promised to do a lot. And then I just slept. My dad said, they tried to wake me up - but no chance, I slept as if I were in coma. Actually, my sleep always is like that. It takes me less than ten seconds to fall ( Read more... )