(no subject)
i guess i should write about Joey and I breaking up.
its weird and maybe ironic that now we are apart I think of him more?
why is that.
I dont nessaiarily see it as completely and utterly over. I told him it was a break but the break may last forever it just depends on our paths.
I mean right now. we both have school - when i can talk to him he cant talk and when he wants to talk I can't and we can only see each other every-other weekend so i just dont see the point. the point of a boyfriend is someone who you can turn to and when he lives 2 hours away and has reponsibilieis i cant turn to him i cant just drive 15 mins and see him and vice versa it just kills me too because theres nothing i can do about it
and its not like i'm gonna have a car to drive to michigan - my dad complains if i wannna drive his car to LIMA
so its a break but its hard - i still care a lot about him and the more i think about it the more my eyes swell so i just dont think about it.
i think hes taking it worse thoses I wish he wasn't so tunneled visioned - i think he sees it as a death sentence and i dont i just see it as a break and its a relife to me but at the same time I dont feel different
why
because I felt single before
except on the weekends
my emotions are so fucked up for being only 18
Cedarpoint still has my wallet i left there and my dirvers lisence and my bank card and my 3 dollars and all my reward cards - speedyrewards, american red cross blood donor card, American Airlines, ATA airlines, Buildabear everything my entire life is in that fucking wallet
and what sucks more is i cant get a new lisence because it costs 19.95 for a new driverslisence card to be printed out. fucking BullShit
I have absolutly no money left
i finnally went through my piggy bank and I have 14 dollars in quarters dimes and nickles it should last me i hope
I have 4 dollars in my savings account and 6 dollars in my checking account
Mmmm faboulus
I wonder how many people out there have had that feeling about being utterly broke. absolutly Broke.
like not a cent to their name i wonder if people really knew what it was like - they would value their shit more.
I saw this donna karen bag in this magazine last month and Cameron and I were like "I want it" and after that we'd just be walking and i'd be talking about hopes and dreams and suddenly i scream " and I want that fucking donna karen bag!" and after a while cameron was like "just have Joey buy it for you" and i laughed - because it was true.
if i could estimate how much money Joey spent on me on 9 months it would probbly be close to 8 or 10 thousand
and thats pathetic
because i'm not worth that
its weird and maybe ironic that now we are apart I think of him more?
why is that.
I dont nessaiarily see it as completely and utterly over. I told him it was a break but the break may last forever it just depends on our paths.
I mean right now. we both have school - when i can talk to him he cant talk and when he wants to talk I can't and we can only see each other every-other weekend so i just dont see the point. the point of a boyfriend is someone who you can turn to and when he lives 2 hours away and has reponsibilieis i cant turn to him i cant just drive 15 mins and see him and vice versa it just kills me too because theres nothing i can do about it
and its not like i'm gonna have a car to drive to michigan - my dad complains if i wannna drive his car to LIMA
so its a break but its hard - i still care a lot about him and the more i think about it the more my eyes swell so i just dont think about it.
i think hes taking it worse thoses I wish he wasn't so tunneled visioned - i think he sees it as a death sentence and i dont i just see it as a break and its a relife to me but at the same time I dont feel different
why
because I felt single before
except on the weekends
my emotions are so fucked up for being only 18
Cedarpoint still has my wallet i left there and my dirvers lisence and my bank card and my 3 dollars and all my reward cards - speedyrewards, american red cross blood donor card, American Airlines, ATA airlines, Buildabear everything my entire life is in that fucking wallet
and what sucks more is i cant get a new lisence because it costs 19.95 for a new driverslisence card to be printed out. fucking BullShit
I have absolutly no money left
i finnally went through my piggy bank and I have 14 dollars in quarters dimes and nickles it should last me i hope
I have 4 dollars in my savings account and 6 dollars in my checking account
Mmmm faboulus
I wonder how many people out there have had that feeling about being utterly broke. absolutly Broke.
like not a cent to their name i wonder if people really knew what it was like - they would value their shit more.
I saw this donna karen bag in this magazine last month and Cameron and I were like "I want it" and after that we'd just be walking and i'd be talking about hopes and dreams and suddenly i scream " and I want that fucking donna karen bag!" and after a while cameron was like "just have Joey buy it for you" and i laughed - because it was true.
if i could estimate how much money Joey spent on me on 9 months it would probbly be close to 8 or 10 thousand
and thats pathetic
because i'm not worth that