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i want to say im sorry to everyone that i have been a bitch to in the last 48 hours or so. i have been stressed out over something that doesn't have to do with any of you and its not fair, danny joe. im sorry i freaked out on you about the text you sent it wasn't very nice you didn't know i was sleeping when you sent it, ryan im sorry i went all
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1. It's all good, i shouldn't have freaked out over it, it's just the fack that I was trying to help you and found the disk and it was met with you making me feel like i screwed something up.... which was further not helper by me freaking out. I'd call it even, no worries.. we're good
2. Moving out of Portland was prolly one of the best things you've ever done I think, just in the time I've known you there has been a change in you. (which i would gladly discus privately sometime) As far as your mother goes, it's a shitty situation, and I'm sorry that it is how it is, but you can't hold it on yourself for the way things are or the fact that she's sick. I would say the best you could possibly do is drop her a line more often. Check up on her as much as you can and if she needs something then you will know and can do something about it.
3. hmmm... trying to find the balance between nurturing and straightforward... here goes.
Everything with your brother has nothing to do with you... while you may feel like shit about cutting into him, there's nothing you can do about it. If you haven't ever heard, there is a TON of literature stating that alcoholism is a disease, a sickness. Having done some shitty things in your life I'm sure you can understand how it is to be in the state of mind where NOTHING anyone says or does is going to stop you from doing whatever you're doing. For the most, I would say that if anything you throwing it in his face at least made him feel like shit over it... which in turn will make him hesitate from doing it even for a little bit... but to think that you drove him into it is absolutely fucking insane.
You can't blame yourself for someone else's addictions, just do what you can and accept that while it sucks, the only thing you can do is to help him as best you can.
but I'm a self proclaimed asshole, so take my thoughts for what they are, and remember...
so it goes...
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