Even though they told me I was beautiful either way, it still hurts. I lost the one I loved the most. The guy I was sure was THE ONE. I still am sure. Do you know how it feels to want that person back, to want to talk to him, to want to hug him? It hurts so bad. Everytime I think I'm fine, no matter where I am, I will begin crying. It aches, it ( Read more... )

RSS?

Well, I have chosen a path and I am going to take it. I can see it now, and my heart is glowing because I can see what is going to happen to me. That makes me feel better than anything. Seeing what I can be, what I can do. I do not like my future being empty and not knowing. I am OCD about a lot of things and I enjoy knowing everything. Everything ( Read more... )

Well, I have finally decided what I want to do with my life. I want to become a director. I never realized the happiness I can get from just how awesome something is staged. Kathy and I are doing a small scene from Antigone and all I did was block the first three lines and I loved it. I was ecstatic for the rest of the day. Just knowing that there ( Read more... )

So, school's starting, nothing seriously big with that. Besides the fact that it's my senior year and I just have to make everything go all right. Right? Neh! I think this year may be kick ass. Minus all the meetings they're going to make me go to ( Read more... )

"Am I the one that's going crazy? I'm so tired of masquerading. We all pretend to be so well adjusted, maybe it's just me and I'm disgusting ( Read more... )

Well, I've posted my days and what not throughout my other journals I have all over the intraweb and it's just generally one gi-normous post. It's just broken down as I see fit. For this specific blog holder I'm going to type about me seeing POTC: Dead Man's Chest. (There may or may not be spoilers in here so waaay before hand and even before I ( Read more... )

Do you hold the phone when you're alone
Imagine that it rings
then hold it to your ear
and wish that I was there
to sing you off to sleep
be with you in your dreams
though the days I will be gone
I'll be there in your dreams and in this song

I feel so crappy right now. I feel so depressed. I feel so ugly. I feel so, lost, alone, used confused. Why can't I be beautiful? Why can't I be skinny? Why can't I be happy? Why can't I be normal? I want to not feel this way. I want to be happy. I want to not care. I want to be better. I want to be worth it. But I'm not worth it. I want to be so ( Read more... )

So....um...yeah.....is there something about me that screams, "LIKE ME!"? Do I really look that desperate? It feels weird, when I notice people liking me, or crushing or obsessing. (I don't understand that one, but I already have had 2 guys in the past who were obsessed with me in the matter of days.) All of a sudden, why did I become a target for ( Read more... )