Desiree is secretly being taken advantage of. She is, however, allowing it.
Long post goes under a cut.
Okay so I just got off the phone with John who I am not so secretly in love with ;).
I decided that he should start a rumor that we met through a fling and now we're just good friends, that way I can visit him and whisper to all the girls about how great he was/is. Unfortunately, I think we all know he won't actually do that so my plan will never come to fruition. In all seriousness though I really miss him because he's a mega awesome person/friend. Hopefully those darn GT girls will be good enough for him. (Highly doubtable, but we can hope) And John, don't worry I don't plan to rush off and marry random people - I promise that is not what I want right now.
On another note: I have NOT talked to Adrian because he is off exploring and being a nasty homo. He is pretending to be too busy to spend even two minutes to talk to me, and even Mrs. Medina had trouble believing that is true, but that's ok. I hope he's having a good time though. About him, I'm kinda feeling strange because to be honest, I have no idea what our status is and I'm actually kind of ok with that. I would really just like to know, limbo is not the coolest place to be. I really just want to be able to have a conversation with him and stuff. You know, I know that I don't want to not be with him but if anything I think that I will be ok as long as he's good about it and is a good friend. I would kind of like that to be settled, but am secretly terrified to bring it up. Oh well I guess, if I can't talk to him it's not like it'll get settled anyway. Gonna have to happen sometime though, so I think I should brace myself for a change. I think I love him so much though, that I could be supportive. That was how it was before we dated - I really liked him but I still encouraged him when I knew he liked someone and I tried to help him out because I really just want him to be happy. I'd of course prefer it if he were happy with me, but you can't really control how another person feels, you can only control how you react to it. So I think that regardless of what happens I will try and be the best kind of person that I can. This is a little bit hard, thinking like this but it is what must be done.
And hey Kids, watch out with the drugs and alcohol pls pls. A friend of mine is so far gone all the time that I believe he fancies himself in love with me. He asked me first off if we were dating, and then asked me later if I would have a family with him. I think he's just really lonely and tired of his life and finds that I'm the only one who'll listen. Not a good place to be in life, so watch it kids. ;)
As for my time in Miami I am bored. I kind of want to just leave to Tufts already there doesn't seem to be much I can do here. I have no way of getting anywhere and probably no one who would want to take me, so yeah. I'm so bored I already started packing and I haven't even bought luggage yet. I did get to see Superbad with the Guys (Jay, Michael and Ariel) though and it was pretty awesome. Hopefully I can go paintballing with them tomorrow too. Would be nice. I also got to hang out with Haris the other day and man we have some stupid fun. I love hanging out with him because his laugh is contagious and in the end we both just laugh like maniacs and mostly for no good reason.
Today I went by and visited the school really briefly, and that was nice. Afterwards I went with Mrs. Graham to Starbucks and we hung out and talked for a good while. It was nice, she is awesome.
You know, John calls me a secret optimist and I think he is right, because I'm feeling right now that everything will probably be ok, and that even if it isn't I probably will be. I hope so, because I know the pessimist in me is scoffing and believing that I will fail to adjust to all the changes that must come.
Yeah well Blah blah blah this post is real long for nothing, I guess it's compensating for all my stupid private ones and for the ones and for the others that I just never make.
Well I hope everyone is doing good in their respective locations, and I want you all to know I am full of love even though I am the unsexiest, as well as slightly depressed.
By the way have you ever wished that someone who doesn't have an lj or who doesn't go on lj would secretly read your posts? I wish it all the time for different, but very specific people.
Words I've used too much in this post: know and though. Alert me if I am missing any.
Well I have not said til later my loverlies in much too long, and for that:
Til later my loverlies, dearies and especially my pea. (Love you Nana)
For those that pray, pray for me? And everyone else, wish me luck? I need it for more than one aspect of my life.
<3Darlings
Okay so I just got off the phone with John who I am not so secretly in love with ;).
I decided that he should start a rumor that we met through a fling and now we're just good friends, that way I can visit him and whisper to all the girls about how great he was/is. Unfortunately, I think we all know he won't actually do that so my plan will never come to fruition. In all seriousness though I really miss him because he's a mega awesome person/friend. Hopefully those darn GT girls will be good enough for him. (Highly doubtable, but we can hope) And John, don't worry I don't plan to rush off and marry random people - I promise that is not what I want right now.
On another note: I have NOT talked to Adrian because he is off exploring and being a nasty homo. He is pretending to be too busy to spend even two minutes to talk to me, and even Mrs. Medina had trouble believing that is true, but that's ok. I hope he's having a good time though. About him, I'm kinda feeling strange because to be honest, I have no idea what our status is and I'm actually kind of ok with that. I would really just like to know, limbo is not the coolest place to be. I really just want to be able to have a conversation with him and stuff. You know, I know that I don't want to not be with him but if anything I think that I will be ok as long as he's good about it and is a good friend. I would kind of like that to be settled, but am secretly terrified to bring it up. Oh well I guess, if I can't talk to him it's not like it'll get settled anyway. Gonna have to happen sometime though, so I think I should brace myself for a change. I think I love him so much though, that I could be supportive. That was how it was before we dated - I really liked him but I still encouraged him when I knew he liked someone and I tried to help him out because I really just want him to be happy. I'd of course prefer it if he were happy with me, but you can't really control how another person feels, you can only control how you react to it. So I think that regardless of what happens I will try and be the best kind of person that I can. This is a little bit hard, thinking like this but it is what must be done.
And hey Kids, watch out with the drugs and alcohol pls pls. A friend of mine is so far gone all the time that I believe he fancies himself in love with me. He asked me first off if we were dating, and then asked me later if I would have a family with him. I think he's just really lonely and tired of his life and finds that I'm the only one who'll listen. Not a good place to be in life, so watch it kids. ;)
As for my time in Miami I am bored. I kind of want to just leave to Tufts already there doesn't seem to be much I can do here. I have no way of getting anywhere and probably no one who would want to take me, so yeah. I'm so bored I already started packing and I haven't even bought luggage yet. I did get to see Superbad with the Guys (Jay, Michael and Ariel) though and it was pretty awesome. Hopefully I can go paintballing with them tomorrow too. Would be nice. I also got to hang out with Haris the other day and man we have some stupid fun. I love hanging out with him because his laugh is contagious and in the end we both just laugh like maniacs and mostly for no good reason.
Today I went by and visited the school really briefly, and that was nice. Afterwards I went with Mrs. Graham to Starbucks and we hung out and talked for a good while. It was nice, she is awesome.
You know, John calls me a secret optimist and I think he is right, because I'm feeling right now that everything will probably be ok, and that even if it isn't I probably will be. I hope so, because I know the pessimist in me is scoffing and believing that I will fail to adjust to all the changes that must come.
Yeah well Blah blah blah this post is real long for nothing, I guess it's compensating for all my stupid private ones and for the ones and for the others that I just never make.
Well I hope everyone is doing good in their respective locations, and I want you all to know I am full of love even though I am the unsexiest, as well as slightly depressed.
By the way have you ever wished that someone who doesn't have an lj or who doesn't go on lj would secretly read your posts? I wish it all the time for different, but very specific people.
Words I've used too much in this post: know and though. Alert me if I am missing any.
Well I have not said til later my loverlies in much too long, and for that:
Til later my loverlies, dearies and especially my pea. (Love you Nana)
For those that pray, pray for me? And everyone else, wish me luck? I need it for more than one aspect of my life.
<3Darlings