driven to disaster.
"where to start?..."
that's always been the question i've never seem to answer.
today i had a realization.
of who i am.
i can't describe in words sometimes.
i imagine in a series of pictures.
he is my best way to describe it.
analogy:imagine this.
a man. he owns no face. blank. he's sitting on a stool inside his dressing room. directly in front of his vanity mirror. looking down at all the different face-masks set before him. each of them with a different emotion. each containing a different life. different people apart of each mood.
"which one must i wear today?"
as he puts on a different face for different days of different plays. each make him who he is that day. everyday he learns. from each of them, the things he loves and the things of which he hates. this is what creates him. molding him into his own face.
i haven't truly discovered my face yet.
i'm caged with my own past.
feelings of disintegration.
i'm this close to loosing my mind completely/entirely.
how much more of this can i take before i have a massive heart faliure?
feelings left cold, due to no remedy.
i want to move to another state.
another place.
so you can never find me.
i don't like this at all.
atallatallatallatall.
that's always been the question i've never seem to answer.
today i had a realization.
of who i am.
i can't describe in words sometimes.
i imagine in a series of pictures.
he is my best way to describe it.
analogy:imagine this.
a man. he owns no face. blank. he's sitting on a stool inside his dressing room. directly in front of his vanity mirror. looking down at all the different face-masks set before him. each of them with a different emotion. each containing a different life. different people apart of each mood.
"which one must i wear today?"
as he puts on a different face for different days of different plays. each make him who he is that day. everyday he learns. from each of them, the things he loves and the things of which he hates. this is what creates him. molding him into his own face.
i haven't truly discovered my face yet.
i'm caged with my own past.
feelings of disintegration.
i'm this close to loosing my mind completely/entirely.
how much more of this can i take before i have a massive heart faliure?
feelings left cold, due to no remedy.
i want to move to another state.
another place.
so you can never find me.
i don't like this at all.
atallatallatallatall.