3 more AU Meme results
(I'll get there eventually!)
1. Sarah Jane Smith (Doctor Who), for
romanajo123:
Wild West
“Aren’t you going to stop her?” Dr Sullivan said, taken aback to find that the sheriff, Doc Smith, didn’t seem much bothered by the news that one of the meanest outlaws in the West had just challenged Miss Smith to meet him at high noon on Main Street.
“This Dusty Jack fellow clearly hasn’t seen Miss Smith with a shot gun,” said the sheriff. He pulled his hat back over his face and refused to budge. “He’s in for a shock. Thanks for letting me know. It ought to be an entertaining afternoon…”
Coffee Shop
Sarah had never thought of herself as being particularly good with children of any age, but now her café seemed to have taken off with some of the teenagers from the local comprehensive, it seemed she must be. Apparently, local agony aunt went with the business of dispensing out fruit juice or tea and cake, and what was more, she was learning to like it.
Shapeshifters
“How do you do it, Miss Smith?” said her editor, and then held up a hand. Ash fell from the cigarette in it. “No, wait, don’t tell me. If it involves anything illegal, best I don’t know.”
Miss Smith smiled, her hands resting in her lap. She looked too demure for words, not like someone who’d just pulled off an exclusive exposé of a corrupt multi-national company. “Nothing like that at all,” she said, thinking of the nights she’d spent up a tree in the shape of a squirrel. “And, honestly, you’d never believe me.”
Fantasy/Fairy Tale
There was nothing else for it, Sarah decided, surveying the ruins of the family farm. She’d have to dress as a boy and set out to seek her fortune.
. . . In SPACE!!
“So,” said Space Commander Servalan once she had dismissed the guard, “what were you doing in the ventilation shaft?”
Sarah raised her chin and said nothing. Somehow she was pretty sure that “trying to blow up the space station and set those rebels free” would not go down well with the other woman.
Apocalypse
Fire rained down from the sky. They saw it from the scanner. Sarah had to avoid looking at the Doctor’s face.
“Doctor,” she said in the end, “you can’t always win. Not if people are so set on their own destruction as that lot were.”
“True,” he said, but he was still in Distant Thunder mode.
Sarah put a cautious hand to his arm. “And, hey, you got me out. I’m grateful, trust me.”
From somewhere, a million miles away, that earned her an almost-smile. “I have grown rather fond of you, it’s true,” he said eventually.
Schoolfic
“An interview?” said the head teacher, Miss Winters.
Sarah nodded. “For the school magazine, miss. I’m editor. And I thought, where better to start than by going to the very top? You can answer some questions for me, can’t you?”
“I’m afraid I’m far too busy,” said Miss Winters, shooing her out.
Sarah stayed outside the doorway. “Well, then, when will be a good time, Miss Winters? I don’t mind staying after school.”
“Yes, but I do,” said the head, and closed the door.
Drat, thought Sarah. And it had seemed like such a fool-proof way to snatch a chance to look at the head’s personal files…
Police/Firefighters/Medical
“DS Smith,” said Chief Inspector Lethbridge-Stewart, looking considerably sterner than usual. “I think we need a word about certain rules you seem to have decided to disregard in your pursuance of this case!”
Sarah sighed and followed him into the office. “But I got him, sir, didn’t I? Isn’t that what counts?”
Supernatural
Most travellers avoided the castle. Most travellers were advised by every passing peasant to avoid the castle. Tales of blood and death and ominous spectres did the rounds of all the local taverns.
Miss Sarah Jane Smith, on arriving in the area and hearing these terrible rumours, set off for the castle at once. As far as she was concerned, t sounded like exactly the kind of place where an aspiring journalist could find a good story, besides which, she was far too sensible to believe in ghosts and vampires.
Regency
Sarah left for her walk in such a haste that she forgot to look where she was going and all but fell over the young gentleman heading in the opposite direction. What his excuse was, she didn’t know. He helped her up and picked up her bonnet while they both engaged in exchanging embarrassed apologies.
“Thank you,” said Sarah, fastening it more securely once he’d returned it. “And I am sorry. My aunt is on a last ditch attempt to marry me off, and I had to get away, at least for a while. She’s invited the new doctor round to inspect me and I won’t stand for it. I expect he’s some odious old quack, anyway.”
“I say, that’s a bit harsh,” the young man said, looking unaccountably hurt. “I studied at Edinburgh, you know, although I don’t claim to be a genius.”
Sarah looked at him again. “Oh,” she said. “Oh, dear. You must be Dr Sullivan.”
“Yes,” said Dr Sullivan. “I’m rather afraid I am.”
***
2. Miss Marple for
evelyn_b:
Wild West
“Look, Miss Marple,” said the sheriff, trying to usher her out of the gaol, “this ain’t no place for a lady!”
She stood her ground. “Yes, but what if I told you that it wasn’t Whisky Jim who shot the bank manager after all?”
Not again, thought the sheriff. One of these days he’d work out the solution to the latest crime before she did.
Coffee Shop
“Excuse me,” said the unfamiliar, if unthreatening looking old lady, sitting down beside the blonde at the next table. “I hope you don’t mind, but I really don’t think you should drink that particular cup of coffee.”
Shapeshifters
Really, crime-solving was almost too easy, Miss Marple thought. Not that she wanted anyone to get away with these things, but so few people paid any attention whatsoever to a placid-looking tabby cat sitting quietly in the corner when they were plotting foul deeds.
Fantasy/Fairy Tale
A little old lady should not look entirely unafraid on facing the Queen. The Queen’s gaze narrowed. Perhaps she was a witch? “What do you want?”
“To advise you not to go any further,” said Miss Marple. “Your first murder attempt failed. I really don’t think you should make another. It’s probably as well for you that huntsman didn’t carry out your orders.”
“How dare you?” began the Queen.
“Oh, dear,” said the old lady. “Well, I suppose if it must be, it must be. I’m afraid you will regret it, but I can’t possibly let you continue.” With that, she vanished.
. . . In SPACE!!
Inspector Craddock of the Space Police was midway through interviewing the passengers, when the next person who was shown into the cabin turned out to be extremely familiar.
“Aunt Jane,” he said. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. Have you come to tell me who did it?”
Apocalypse
Miss Marple had tried to tell Inspector Slack about the worrying purchases made by Mr ‘Smith’ in various places both in St Mary Mead and Market Basing, but, as she feared, he had not taken her seriously.
Luckily, Griselda had been much more receptive to her idea of a parish picnic and they had at least saved most of the villagers from the ensuing explosion and devastation, if not St Mary Mead itself.
Schoolfic
“Yes, Jane?” said her form mistress. “Did you want something?”
“It’s about Mary, Miss. You see, I don’t think she could possibly be the person who stole the exam papers the other night…”
Police/Firefighters/Medical
“What?” said the doctor, not liking the way the elderly nurse was looking at him. “Something wrong with my diagnosis?”
“Oh, no, doctor. Only -”
“Yes?”
“The symptoms would also be rather similar to that of arsenic poisoning, don’t you think?”
Supernatural
It took several nights of waiting for the spectre to appear. Miss Marple had almost completed knitting an outfit for poor Mrs Randle’s latest when it finally chose to manifest.
“Ah, there you are,” she said. “Lord Jeffrey, I presume? This really won’t do, you know. But then you never were the most rational gentleman, even when you were alive…”
Regency
“Oh, I wouldn’t do that, if I were you,” said Miss Marple, appearing from the alcove as Lady Gardner, standing beside the brandy decanter, picked up the medicine bottle.
She jumped.
“I knew, you see,” said Miss Marple. “It was all too plain, as soon as I realised that hat was not yours, but poor Arabella’s. I sent a message to the magistrate at once.”
Lady Gardner dropped the bottle.
***
3. Donna Noble (Doctor Who) for
justice_turtle:
Wild West
“That was quite the gun fight, wasn’t it?” said Donna’s neighbour, Doc Smith.
Donna looked blank. “What?”
“The gunfight in the middle of Main Street. You know - yesterday. Got a bit out of hand. Sixteen dead and would have been more if - well, I don’t like to boast, but -”
“I wouldn’t know. I was busy collecting wood.”
“And the bank robbery on Monday?”
“Monday? You know that’s laundry day.”
“Yeah. Silly me. Don’t suppose you noticed when they blew up the jail last week, either?”
“Must have been before I got back from visiting Granddad in the next town.”
Coffee Shop
“Now look what you’ve done!”
The coffee shop was a mess: tables upended, coffee and tea spilt across its olde world floorboards and biscuit crumbs everywhere.
“Yeah,” said the skinny, irritating repair guy, drawing out the word. “Sorry. Really. I’m so sorry.”
Donna handed him a mop. “You better be, matey. Get cleaning!”
“But on the other hand, I couldn’t let anyone drink the coffee, could I?”
“Yeah,” she said, putting her hands on her hips. “That’s the other thing: what the hell did you do to the coffee machine in the first place? You on a mission to poison everyone or what?”
The repair guy paused for a long moment. “Or what,” he said, eventually.
Shapeshifters
“Donna,” said the Doctor. “I can take you anywhere in time and space. The whole universe at your command! And yet you prefer to disguise yourself as a soap dispenser in the ladies loo of a TV studio?”
“Hey, I’m getting some quality gossip here,” said the soap dispenser. “Don’t knock it. I could make a mint when you get me home again.”
Fantasy/Fairy Tale
“You know, spells like this are supposed to be broken with a kiss.”
Donna glared. “I told you, Mr Pixie-whatever-it-is-you-are, no funny business! Besides,” she added “slapping you seemed to work just fine. And you can’t say you didn’t deserve it.”
. . . In SPACE!!
“Captain,” said the Second Technician. “We’ve double-checked all the systems. None of us can identify the cause of this malfunction. We may be trapped in this nebula.”
There was a loud coughing from behind them.
The Captain raised an eyebrow. “Who is that and what does she want?”
“She’s Filing Clerk Moa’s temporary replacement. Yes, what is it?”
Donna Noble walked over. “Look, I know I’m not an expert, but that Flight Officer said he was securing the ship before he collapsed. Call me stupid, but have you checked you haven’t left the brakes on?”
There was a long pause.
“Well, now, this is embarrassing,” said the Second Technician. “That does indeed appear to be the case…”
Apocalypse
“I couldn’t stop them,” said the Doctor, gazing out at the vast landscape of ash. “They wouldn’t listen.”
Donna was also upset about watching someone’s world end, but there was only so long you could stand on a planet’s grave, as it were. “I know,” she said, and slipped her arm through his. “But how about we go find somewhere we can save, eh, Doctor?”
Schoolfic
“It’s persecution, that’s what it is,” said Donna. “I mean, look at me, I got injured, I could have been killed -”
“It was a nosebleed!”
“And what did I do to deserve it? I was just standing there, minding my own business -”
“You stole Penny’s mirror!”
“I was borrowing it, was it my fault if she wasn’t there when I wanted it? It wasn’t like I wasn’t going to put it back. And I only chipped it a tiny bit. Don’t know what she was making a fuss about. I thought I was going to bleed to death and I all I get is a detention, no sympathy or anything.”
“Yeah, right. It’s a travesty of justice,” said John. “Can’t think what came over the Head.”
Police/Firefighters/Medical
“So,” said Donna, “that’s three coffees, and one herbal tea for the Super.”
“Thanks, love,” said the DI. “What was your name again?”
Donna managed not to glare as she walked out. Why had she thought being a policewoman would be exciting? This WPC, she decided, was walking out of here. Any day now.
Supernatural
Donna’s friend’s family seemed to have some odd ideas, she decided. She’d been invited over for a sleepover and then put in a room about three miles away from the rest of the family, in a big old four-poster bed, which she’d thought was pretty cool at the time, but then the racket had started up, like a banshee howling.
It turned out it was a banshee howling.
“If you don’t shut up,” Donna bawled back at it, “I’ll scream and see how you like it!”
Wisely, the spectre fled.
Regency
“Are you following me?” said Miss Noble, swinging round to face the thin man who’d been lurking in the shadows nearby. “I’ll yell for the constable if you try anything!”
“No, not following as such,” said the stranger. “It’s just that I’ve never seen a lady thrown out of Almack’s like that. Refused entry, yes. Actually thrown out, kicking and screaming, that’s rare.”
“I’ll have you know I had a voucher!” Then she sighed. “Well, all right, so it might have been a forgery, but still, was that any call to overreact?”
***
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1. Sarah Jane Smith (Doctor Who), for
romanajo123:
Wild West
“Aren’t you going to stop her?” Dr Sullivan said, taken aback to find that the sheriff, Doc Smith, didn’t seem much bothered by the news that one of the meanest outlaws in the West had just challenged Miss Smith to meet him at high noon on Main Street.
“This Dusty Jack fellow clearly hasn’t seen Miss Smith with a shot gun,” said the sheriff. He pulled his hat back over his face and refused to budge. “He’s in for a shock. Thanks for letting me know. It ought to be an entertaining afternoon…”
Coffee Shop
Sarah had never thought of herself as being particularly good with children of any age, but now her café seemed to have taken off with some of the teenagers from the local comprehensive, it seemed she must be. Apparently, local agony aunt went with the business of dispensing out fruit juice or tea and cake, and what was more, she was learning to like it.
Shapeshifters
“How do you do it, Miss Smith?” said her editor, and then held up a hand. Ash fell from the cigarette in it. “No, wait, don’t tell me. If it involves anything illegal, best I don’t know.”
Miss Smith smiled, her hands resting in her lap. She looked too demure for words, not like someone who’d just pulled off an exclusive exposé of a corrupt multi-national company. “Nothing like that at all,” she said, thinking of the nights she’d spent up a tree in the shape of a squirrel. “And, honestly, you’d never believe me.”
Fantasy/Fairy Tale
There was nothing else for it, Sarah decided, surveying the ruins of the family farm. She’d have to dress as a boy and set out to seek her fortune.
. . . In SPACE!!
“So,” said Space Commander Servalan once she had dismissed the guard, “what were you doing in the ventilation shaft?”
Sarah raised her chin and said nothing. Somehow she was pretty sure that “trying to blow up the space station and set those rebels free” would not go down well with the other woman.
Apocalypse
Fire rained down from the sky. They saw it from the scanner. Sarah had to avoid looking at the Doctor’s face.
“Doctor,” she said in the end, “you can’t always win. Not if people are so set on their own destruction as that lot were.”
“True,” he said, but he was still in Distant Thunder mode.
Sarah put a cautious hand to his arm. “And, hey, you got me out. I’m grateful, trust me.”
From somewhere, a million miles away, that earned her an almost-smile. “I have grown rather fond of you, it’s true,” he said eventually.
Schoolfic
“An interview?” said the head teacher, Miss Winters.
Sarah nodded. “For the school magazine, miss. I’m editor. And I thought, where better to start than by going to the very top? You can answer some questions for me, can’t you?”
“I’m afraid I’m far too busy,” said Miss Winters, shooing her out.
Sarah stayed outside the doorway. “Well, then, when will be a good time, Miss Winters? I don’t mind staying after school.”
“Yes, but I do,” said the head, and closed the door.
Drat, thought Sarah. And it had seemed like such a fool-proof way to snatch a chance to look at the head’s personal files…
Police/Firefighters/Medical
“DS Smith,” said Chief Inspector Lethbridge-Stewart, looking considerably sterner than usual. “I think we need a word about certain rules you seem to have decided to disregard in your pursuance of this case!”
Sarah sighed and followed him into the office. “But I got him, sir, didn’t I? Isn’t that what counts?”
Supernatural
Most travellers avoided the castle. Most travellers were advised by every passing peasant to avoid the castle. Tales of blood and death and ominous spectres did the rounds of all the local taverns.
Miss Sarah Jane Smith, on arriving in the area and hearing these terrible rumours, set off for the castle at once. As far as she was concerned, t sounded like exactly the kind of place where an aspiring journalist could find a good story, besides which, she was far too sensible to believe in ghosts and vampires.
Regency
Sarah left for her walk in such a haste that she forgot to look where she was going and all but fell over the young gentleman heading in the opposite direction. What his excuse was, she didn’t know. He helped her up and picked up her bonnet while they both engaged in exchanging embarrassed apologies.
“Thank you,” said Sarah, fastening it more securely once he’d returned it. “And I am sorry. My aunt is on a last ditch attempt to marry me off, and I had to get away, at least for a while. She’s invited the new doctor round to inspect me and I won’t stand for it. I expect he’s some odious old quack, anyway.”
“I say, that’s a bit harsh,” the young man said, looking unaccountably hurt. “I studied at Edinburgh, you know, although I don’t claim to be a genius.”
Sarah looked at him again. “Oh,” she said. “Oh, dear. You must be Dr Sullivan.”
“Yes,” said Dr Sullivan. “I’m rather afraid I am.”
***
2. Miss Marple for
evelyn_b:
Wild West
“Look, Miss Marple,” said the sheriff, trying to usher her out of the gaol, “this ain’t no place for a lady!”
She stood her ground. “Yes, but what if I told you that it wasn’t Whisky Jim who shot the bank manager after all?”
Not again, thought the sheriff. One of these days he’d work out the solution to the latest crime before she did.
Coffee Shop
“Excuse me,” said the unfamiliar, if unthreatening looking old lady, sitting down beside the blonde at the next table. “I hope you don’t mind, but I really don’t think you should drink that particular cup of coffee.”
Shapeshifters
Really, crime-solving was almost too easy, Miss Marple thought. Not that she wanted anyone to get away with these things, but so few people paid any attention whatsoever to a placid-looking tabby cat sitting quietly in the corner when they were plotting foul deeds.
Fantasy/Fairy Tale
A little old lady should not look entirely unafraid on facing the Queen. The Queen’s gaze narrowed. Perhaps she was a witch? “What do you want?”
“To advise you not to go any further,” said Miss Marple. “Your first murder attempt failed. I really don’t think you should make another. It’s probably as well for you that huntsman didn’t carry out your orders.”
“How dare you?” began the Queen.
“Oh, dear,” said the old lady. “Well, I suppose if it must be, it must be. I’m afraid you will regret it, but I can’t possibly let you continue.” With that, she vanished.
. . . In SPACE!!
Inspector Craddock of the Space Police was midway through interviewing the passengers, when the next person who was shown into the cabin turned out to be extremely familiar.
“Aunt Jane,” he said. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. Have you come to tell me who did it?”
Apocalypse
Miss Marple had tried to tell Inspector Slack about the worrying purchases made by Mr ‘Smith’ in various places both in St Mary Mead and Market Basing, but, as she feared, he had not taken her seriously.
Luckily, Griselda had been much more receptive to her idea of a parish picnic and they had at least saved most of the villagers from the ensuing explosion and devastation, if not St Mary Mead itself.
Schoolfic
“Yes, Jane?” said her form mistress. “Did you want something?”
“It’s about Mary, Miss. You see, I don’t think she could possibly be the person who stole the exam papers the other night…”
Police/Firefighters/Medical
“What?” said the doctor, not liking the way the elderly nurse was looking at him. “Something wrong with my diagnosis?”
“Oh, no, doctor. Only -”
“Yes?”
“The symptoms would also be rather similar to that of arsenic poisoning, don’t you think?”
Supernatural
It took several nights of waiting for the spectre to appear. Miss Marple had almost completed knitting an outfit for poor Mrs Randle’s latest when it finally chose to manifest.
“Ah, there you are,” she said. “Lord Jeffrey, I presume? This really won’t do, you know. But then you never were the most rational gentleman, even when you were alive…”
Regency
“Oh, I wouldn’t do that, if I were you,” said Miss Marple, appearing from the alcove as Lady Gardner, standing beside the brandy decanter, picked up the medicine bottle.
She jumped.
“I knew, you see,” said Miss Marple. “It was all too plain, as soon as I realised that hat was not yours, but poor Arabella’s. I sent a message to the magistrate at once.”
Lady Gardner dropped the bottle.
***
3. Donna Noble (Doctor Who) for
justice_turtle:
Wild West
“That was quite the gun fight, wasn’t it?” said Donna’s neighbour, Doc Smith.
Donna looked blank. “What?”
“The gunfight in the middle of Main Street. You know - yesterday. Got a bit out of hand. Sixteen dead and would have been more if - well, I don’t like to boast, but -”
“I wouldn’t know. I was busy collecting wood.”
“And the bank robbery on Monday?”
“Monday? You know that’s laundry day.”
“Yeah. Silly me. Don’t suppose you noticed when they blew up the jail last week, either?”
“Must have been before I got back from visiting Granddad in the next town.”
Coffee Shop
“Now look what you’ve done!”
The coffee shop was a mess: tables upended, coffee and tea spilt across its olde world floorboards and biscuit crumbs everywhere.
“Yeah,” said the skinny, irritating repair guy, drawing out the word. “Sorry. Really. I’m so sorry.”
Donna handed him a mop. “You better be, matey. Get cleaning!”
“But on the other hand, I couldn’t let anyone drink the coffee, could I?”
“Yeah,” she said, putting her hands on her hips. “That’s the other thing: what the hell did you do to the coffee machine in the first place? You on a mission to poison everyone or what?”
The repair guy paused for a long moment. “Or what,” he said, eventually.
Shapeshifters
“Donna,” said the Doctor. “I can take you anywhere in time and space. The whole universe at your command! And yet you prefer to disguise yourself as a soap dispenser in the ladies loo of a TV studio?”
“Hey, I’m getting some quality gossip here,” said the soap dispenser. “Don’t knock it. I could make a mint when you get me home again.”
Fantasy/Fairy Tale
“You know, spells like this are supposed to be broken with a kiss.”
Donna glared. “I told you, Mr Pixie-whatever-it-is-you-are, no funny business! Besides,” she added “slapping you seemed to work just fine. And you can’t say you didn’t deserve it.”
. . . In SPACE!!
“Captain,” said the Second Technician. “We’ve double-checked all the systems. None of us can identify the cause of this malfunction. We may be trapped in this nebula.”
There was a loud coughing from behind them.
The Captain raised an eyebrow. “Who is that and what does she want?”
“She’s Filing Clerk Moa’s temporary replacement. Yes, what is it?”
Donna Noble walked over. “Look, I know I’m not an expert, but that Flight Officer said he was securing the ship before he collapsed. Call me stupid, but have you checked you haven’t left the brakes on?”
There was a long pause.
“Well, now, this is embarrassing,” said the Second Technician. “That does indeed appear to be the case…”
Apocalypse
“I couldn’t stop them,” said the Doctor, gazing out at the vast landscape of ash. “They wouldn’t listen.”
Donna was also upset about watching someone’s world end, but there was only so long you could stand on a planet’s grave, as it were. “I know,” she said, and slipped her arm through his. “But how about we go find somewhere we can save, eh, Doctor?”
Schoolfic
“It’s persecution, that’s what it is,” said Donna. “I mean, look at me, I got injured, I could have been killed -”
“It was a nosebleed!”
“And what did I do to deserve it? I was just standing there, minding my own business -”
“You stole Penny’s mirror!”
“I was borrowing it, was it my fault if she wasn’t there when I wanted it? It wasn’t like I wasn’t going to put it back. And I only chipped it a tiny bit. Don’t know what she was making a fuss about. I thought I was going to bleed to death and I all I get is a detention, no sympathy or anything.”
“Yeah, right. It’s a travesty of justice,” said John. “Can’t think what came over the Head.”
Police/Firefighters/Medical
“So,” said Donna, “that’s three coffees, and one herbal tea for the Super.”
“Thanks, love,” said the DI. “What was your name again?”
Donna managed not to glare as she walked out. Why had she thought being a policewoman would be exciting? This WPC, she decided, was walking out of here. Any day now.
Supernatural
Donna’s friend’s family seemed to have some odd ideas, she decided. She’d been invited over for a sleepover and then put in a room about three miles away from the rest of the family, in a big old four-poster bed, which she’d thought was pretty cool at the time, but then the racket had started up, like a banshee howling.
It turned out it was a banshee howling.
“If you don’t shut up,” Donna bawled back at it, “I’ll scream and see how you like it!”
Wisely, the spectre fled.
Regency
“Are you following me?” said Miss Noble, swinging round to face the thin man who’d been lurking in the shadows nearby. “I’ll yell for the constable if you try anything!”
“No, not following as such,” said the stranger. “It’s just that I’ve never seen a lady thrown out of Almack’s like that. Refused entry, yes. Actually thrown out, kicking and screaming, that’s rare.”
“I’ll have you know I had a voucher!” Then she sighed. “Well, all right, so it might have been a forgery, but still, was that any call to overreact?”
***
Crossposted from Dreamwidth. Please click through to comment. -- Current comments: