Fic: UNIT Dating
Story: UNIT Dating (the other kind)
Author: lost_spook
Rating: All Ages / PG
Word Count: 3685
Characters/Pairings: Captain Evered, Anna Taylor
Warnings: None. (Spoilers for UNIT: Wraiths if anyone was at all worried about such things).
Summary: Summer 1987 - UNIT and dating are two things that don't go together, and Anna and Captain Evered find out why as they attempt to have at least one date at some point before the end of the year.
Another one of those UNIT missing scenes again! As I mentioned earlier in the week, I spent most of Sunday writing this, all because belantana reviewed UNIT: Wraiths, very kindly, and then I worried that the lack of some explanation of how and when these two OCs got together might be a disappointment. And then of course I recollected the throwaway lines about dating being impossible when you fight monsters. (And, belantana, even though very probably you didn't want this, there is an Auton. Which is not completely un-Zombie like, after all... ;-D) It just took me an age to get around to the final corrections.
***
Anna Taylor heard the phone ringing and cursed it briefly under her breath, before making her way down the stairs to answer it. She had already had a bad week at school, teaching, and an even worse Saturday, when she’d unexpectedly managed to get herself involved with a UN military organisation that investigated the unexplained, resulting in alien abduction. She was having trouble believing some of that now that she’d had a sleep since. However, the members of UNIT themselves all seemed real enough, especially, she thought, making a face at herself in the mirror as she passed, the tall, dark and handsome Captain Evered who had, of course, not been interested in her. She supposed, as she reached for the cream-coloured telephone, that it was only to expected, after she’d shouted at him quite unreasonably, talked inanely, read him a children’s book, and refused to believe he was telling the truth about aliens. “Anna speaking.”
“Good,” said the voice of the self-same Captain in return, and she wondered anxiously, what on earth she could have done this time, and leant back against the wall, being stern with herself for hoping he’d changed his mind. Don’t behave like a teenager, she admonished herself silently. “This is Captain Evered, I should say - David Evered, from UNIT -.”
She had to bite back laughter then, relaxing slightly. “Oh, yes, don’t worry. I do remember. It was only yesterday, and I don’t get abducted by aliens every weekend. I suppose this is about those tests?”
“I’m sorry?” he said blankly. “No, no, not that. Sister will get in touch with you about that. It was only - I think you were right, after all. I’d say I do owe you dinner, if you still wanted -.”
Anna put her hand over the speaker so that she couldn’t leap in with an over-eager yes, and waited for him to finish.
“-Then that would be good. What would you say to Friday?”
She smiled. “Friday would be fine. Where?”
“I don’t know,” he said, sounding caught off-guard.
Her smiled widened then, because he’d been so infuriatingly imperturbable throughout their ordeal that she took that as a hopeful sign. “Well, let’s decide on a time, and we’ll sort the rest presently. You’d better give me your number, so I can tell you if something goes horribly wrong in the meantime.”
*
The first thing she learned about UNIT and dating was that the two didn’t sit easily together. As it turned out, saving the world and having a social life weren’t very compatible. On Thursday, she had a phone call to cancel their arrangement, about which she was very cheerful and reasonable (while she was on the phone), and they rescheduled it for the following week, when he couldn’t come because they had some nasty business with a mad Professor experimenting with a strange substance he’d found somewhere in France (that had turned out to be alien in origin and turned people into hairy green monsters). It was, she had to admit, at least an inventive excuse.
“Look,” Evered said, once he’d explained this, “there’s this wedding next, but that’s a private affair. The Friday after - how about that?”
She sighed, twisting a strand of her mid-brown hair around her finger as she leant back against the banister. “Next Friday would be lovely. And when will you be ringing me to postpone that, please? I wouldn’t want to miss your call, since it’s the only time I speak to you.”
“I won’t,” he said. “Things have calmed down a bit now.”
*
This time, Captain Evered got as far as arriving, but he was in uniform, with a military vehicle parked incongruously in the road outside her house, and another soldier waiting at the wheel, so if it was going to be a date, it clearly wasn’t going to be very romantic.
“I can’t,” he said. “I was supposed to be off, but there’s a UFO crash-landing in Kent and the Colonel wants me there.”
Anna put a hand up to the door-jamb. “Oh, is there?” she countered. Here she was, dressed in a royal blue dress that clearly wasn’t casual wear, off the shoulder on one side, so she couldn’t pretend she hadn’t been assuming he actually would turn up this time. “Can’t they phone the AA for repairs or something?”
“I can’t argue with the Colonel,” he said. “I thought we’d stop off and tell you.”
“Well, I appreciate that. Can you please just tell me if you’d rather not go out with me? If you’ve got back together with the other girl in the meantime, or taken a dislike to mad schoolteachers, I’d rather you said.”
“It’s been busy lately, that’s all,” he told her. “This one shouldn’t be too bad, and once we’re done, it’s the holidays next week, isn’t it? I’ll meet you for lunch on Tuesday, if you’re around.”
She bit her lip. “Tuesday?”
“Only if you’re free -.”
“Yes," she said. “Tuesday.”
“Right.”
He turned to go, and she called after him. “Captain - David. I’m sorry. You will be careful, won’t you?”
“Of course,” Evered said, evenly. “They do prefer you to stay alive, and I’m determined to make Tuesday.”
“Well, yes,” she said. “That’s what I was thinking. It’s so humiliating to sit alone, waiting for someone who never turns up.”
He turned at the gate, with a smile. “Understood.”
*
Anna looked at her watch again, as she waited at The Green Leaf in Garhampton. He was fifteen minutes late, and she knew he’d survived whatever happened in Kent because he’d rung her two days ago to arrange where to meet, and when. Maybe he did want to pay her out for something she hadn’t fathomed yet? She rested her chin on her hands and stared downwards at her coffee, heaving a sigh that blew circles on its surface.
“I made it,” Evered said, from above her, squeezing himself into the seat opposite. He seemed definitely oversized for the undeniably quaint tea-shop setting. He was also wearing his uniform again, which made him look even more out of place, and she realised, with a sinking heart, was bound to mean another putting off of this non-event. However, he only smiled, evidently feeling that getting here was an achievement, and he removed his hat. “Sorry about being late.”
She stirred her coffee unnecessarily, unsure what she was supposed to say or do now that he was here. They had spent a ridiculous amount of effort on reaching this point, and now she remembered, that beyond their phone calls and the odd experience they’d shared on that first Saturday, they barely knew each other. “Are you supposed to be on duty somewhere?”
“Nearly,” he said, with a glance down at himself, as he’d forgotten what he happened to be wearing. “We were having some trouble, and I thought I was going to have send someone to warn you, but, as it turns out, we sorted it - only the clearing up left, and I’m well overdue for my day off.”
Anna put the spoon down. “Oh. What was it this time, or am I not allowed to ask?”
“You can ask,” he said, with humour in his brown eyes. “I’d better not go into details, but as it turned out, the radio get-up Dr Webber used to deal with those other aliens was handy for this lot, and here I am.”
She shifted back in her chair. “What did I promise to do? Am I going to phone this Eve up and tell her to leave you alone, or else?”
“No, don’t,” he said, with a look of mild alarm. She wondered if he ever progressed to anything more extreme, at least visibly. She remembered from before that it was wise not to take his understatements at their face value.
She coloured. “Sorry. Only a joke. It was a stupid thing to say.”
“How about you?” he asked. “Did you tell the head about your odd parent? Did he come back?”
Anna smiled, surprised that he’d remembered if there had been so many alien problems since. Her little school-related issue could hardly seem important, even if he’d been nice about it before. “I did, just to be on the safe side, like you said. And he did come back, actually, but I told him I was busy, and he could see the head instead. He was rather scathing and unpleasant, but I didn’t stay to listen.”
“Want to give me his name?” asked Evered, taking a small notebook out of his top pocket, semi-serious. “I’m sure we could easily have an unexplained incident to investigate at his place of work.”
She laughed, but looked up at a commotion outside the café entrance - the sound of cars braking, and people shouting. As she did so, she had to stare as someone - no, something - walked right in through the door. Literally, through it, the glass and frame shattering about it, and she had the unreal feeling of being in a film or something, because these things didn’t happen in Garhampton.
“Captain,” she said, getting to her feet without registering the fact.
He turned his head sharply and bit back something under his breath, as he stood, pushing past the side of the table so roughly that she had to steady it (and then afterwards wondered why she had bothered).
“Everyone out,” he yelled, to the rest of the startled customers. “Now!” He looked to the woman at the counter and the waitress who’d just dropped her tray, coffee, milk, sugar and china tumbling onto the carpet and floorboards. “Evacuate the place now - use the fire exit!”
Anna somehow assumed that didn’t apply to her, and stayed; watching the thing standing in the entrance, looking about itself with a blank face, as it seemed, against all probability to be a shop dummy. Everyone else bowed to the Captain’s air of authority and official uniform, and headed for the back, uncertainly at first, but as the thing moved forward again, more hastily. It stopped its rotation once it was facing Evered. As half of its hand fell away to reveal what had to be a weapon, Anna dropped under the table with an unheroic squeak. It fired past them both, hitting one of the chairs behind her and as it hit it, the object exploded into nothing but ash. It happened so fast she might have thought the chair had vanished, if she hadn’t had some of the dust fall over her.
Evered got down beside her, in the middle of radioing UNIT for reinforcements. “I said to get out!”
“I didn’t,” she said, realising only now it hadn’t been the sensible thing to do.
He glanced back up at it. “I’m sorry. I still had the signal in my pocket. There must have been a stray one that hadn’t reached us.” He pulled out from his jacket, something that looked like one of those plastic eggs you got out of seaside machines, usually with a fake parrot squawking inside it, except that it was glowing and emitting a sound that wasn’t completely unlike a telephone ringing.
“Oh,” Anna said. “You mean it’s you it’s after?”
He nodded. “Well, this, anyway. It’s programmed to follow the signal.”
The dummy walked on forward, ignoring any tables in its path, and though they slowed it down slightly, they only fell to one side, or it broke them as it went. It fired again, but way over their hands this time, disintegrating a picture and leaving a scorch mark over the patterned wallpaper.
“Can’t you shoot it?” she gasped, crawling backwards.
He glanced from it to her. “Even if I was armed, it wouldn’t make much difference to an Auton.”
“Then what do you do to stop one?” she asked.
“I don’t know. Electrical signals - heat - I’m not sure. Just run!”
That was a good idea, she thought, but she was unsure she wanted to straighten up and make a target of herself, however. Evered grabbed at her arm, pulling her up, and, she noted, colouring, keeping between it and her as he did so. At the movement, it stopped and turned its head about again.
“Can’t it see us?” she asked as they made it to the door marked ‘Staff Only’, still hanging open.
The Captain pushed her through it, and then followed, slamming it shut after them.
“Did you say heat and electrics?” she asked, as they stopped in the kitchen.
Evered followed her gaze and then looked back at her. “I’m still not sure -.” Then he gave a brief nod. “Turn on everything you can - there might be something that will interfere with it, and it might help if I finish this -.” He held out the egg-shaped object again.
She turned to the large oven. It was already switched on, but she turned the dial up to the highest point, while Evered put the thing down on the worktop, looking for something to hit it with, as the creature itself hit against the dividing door, a little more solid than most of the other obstacles it had encountered in the café so far.
Anna offered him the largest knife she could see; probably more correctly a cleaver.
He looked back at her, raising an eyebrow.
“Well?” she countered. “And I turned the oven on. Could we use that?”
“I don’t think I can persuade it to stick its head inside -.”
She looked at the chopper again.
“Anna, I don’t think -,” he began, and stopped, both of them seeming to have the same thought, Evered taking the knife from her, even as it burst through the door, firing again.
Evered shoved her back, and she ducked round by the corner of the worktop, accidentally hitting the small fire extinguisher. It fired again, missing his arm by millimetres and he moved back, thudding into the shelves behind him, and sending jars flying.
Anna got back up, turning on the radio on the cluttered staff table behind her, switching the volume up to full, although she must have knocked the dial as she did it, the speakers only roaring with static. The Auton froze momentarily, and the Captain pushed it against the worktop. It moved again, not quite finished yet.
She caught at it, and it went still again, making its eerie, blank-faced check for what the movement had been, and Evered used the chance to bring the cleaver down, cutting the gun hand off, and then throwing it in the oven, slamming it shut.
Then it moved again, throwing Anna back. It was incredibly strong, she realised, although that had been evident from its progress through the building. She looked past it, up at the Captain. It might not be armed, but it was still dangerous. Evered grabbed at the plastic egg again, and brought a nearby hefty rolling pin down on it, and it ceased transmitting.
The Auton hesitated again, and then stood still.
“Is it dead?” she asked, in a whisper, not daring to move from the hard floor.
He looked at it. “I have a feeling it’s waiting for its next order. We’ll need to deal with it.”
“Oh,” she said. It was plastic, so it was silly to be squeamish, but she had a feeling she knew what he was thinking. “You’re not - you’re going to hack it to pieces, aren’t you?”
He grimaced. “I think I’d better. Sorry.”
“No, no,” she said, but she turned away briefly, glancing about the kitchen. “You did tell me this would never work. If you’d only explained that was because you have a tendency to bring killer shop dummies with you on a date, I wouldn’t have argued.”
Evered gave her a wry smile, and, once he’d managed to cut through it in a few other places, he picked up the pieces, and she hastily moved over to help. When she did so, she found it was very much like a doll she’d once had, not completely hard but definitely plastic. It was strange how it still seemed slightly ghoulish.
“In the oven?” she asked.
He shrugged. “I suppose, until the rest of UNIT arrives, anyway. They’re hard to stop.”
They added the plastic fragments to the other, and Anna shut the oven door, as he moved over to switch off the radio, still broadcasting overloud static.
“Come on,” he said, and led her towards the fire exit at the back, just as something exploded behind them and they both dived down behind. The Auton remains inside the over thudded against the door, like popcorn in a saucepan, only, with more force, and a second one blew the door off into the opposite wall.
It only seemed to Anna to make a loud, dull noise, but the next thing she knew, she was lying rather than crouching on the floor, and Evered was picking himself up to the side of her, lifting his head to survey the situation with caution.
“So, that wasn’t a good idea,” she concluded shakily, finding that there was semi-melted plastic splattered around the walls.
Evered winced. “I shouldn’t have put the weapon in. That was stupid.”
“Well,” she said, coughing for no reason at all, “we managed not to bring the building down, which is something.”
He held out a hand to her to help her up.
Anna took it, but then pulled it towards her, looking at an ugly red mark on the back of his hand. The cuff of his uniform was burnt and fraying at the edges. “It hurt you.”
“Just a singe,” he said. “It didn’t do anything worse. If it really had hit me-.”
She didn’t let go. “Then: poof. Yes, I saw. Still, you should put something on it right away.”
“Never mind that,” he said. “I didn’t even manage to buy you coffee.”
Anna smiled. “Well, next time, then.”
“You want there to be a next time, after this?” he asked, facing her, and she realised she’d managed to surprise him.
She nodded, and after all the life-and-death excitement, found that now she was finding herself breathless at being so close to him again. She was glad he’d stopped trying to make her stand, because she wasn’t sure she wouldn’t only fall over again if he did. “It would be nice if there was.”
“All right,” he said, and smiled back at her, moving in nearer, and putting his free hand to her face, and tightening his hold on her. “But if this one counts as a date, then stop calling me Captain.”
She reddened, pulling back in sudden near-panic. “Well, given the way you kept calling me Miss Taylor last time, I’m not sorry!”
“It was an odd situation,” he said. “Thought it best.”
“Oh?” she said, and then couldn’t keep back a laugh of disbelief. “What, because you might have forgotten yourself? Oh, really, C - David!”
He shrugged. “It was a very odd situation.”
“So is this,” she said, lowering her voice without knowing why. He kissed her then, briefly, and then again, as if he’d forgotten they were in a kitchen that they’d managed to nearly destroy, with melted Auton scattered around the walls and ceiling. She closed her eyes, ready to forget it herself, but then there was a shrill sound, and a burst of static as his radio flared into life, even as they heard shouts from elsewhere.
“What now?” he muttered.
She pulled a face at him. “You called for the cavalry. I think they’ve arrived.”
“Well, I don’t want them now,” he said with a slight grin, and then drew back. He directed a questioning look at her, and she had a feeling he was about to apologise.
Anna sat up properly. “Don’t,” she said, forestalling him, putting a hand out towards him. “If even having lunch is this difficult, we ought to make the most of whatever time we do get.”
“It’s not usually this bad,” he said. “It’s been busy lately.”
She widened her eyes. “Busy? Really? I’d never have guessed!”
*
When Corporal Fraser walked into the kitchen, the Captain was busy turning off the oven and the other appliances they’d left on, while Miss Taylor was standing up against the wall, and reminding him that he really should get his hand looked at.
“Yes,” he agreed distantly. “Fraser, get this place cleaned up, and deal with the owners - give them the usual details. I’d better see Miss Taylor home, and then get to sickbay.”
Fraser hid any dismay well. “Yes, sir.”
“I think,” said Anna, intervening, “that someone should take us both back to HQ, because I’m sure the Captain will soon notice that hand if he starts trying to drive with it.”
“I don’t mind,” said Evered. “Fraser?”
He glanced from one to the other, but only said. “Sir. Robinson can take you both.”
*
“Well, that was fun,” said Anna, once he finally did get to take her home. “However, next time I would prefer a little less excitement if you don’t mind.”
He paused, on her doorstep. “So, next time. When?”
“Soon,” she said. “Although maybe not too soon.”
Evered hesitated again. “How soon is too soon?”
“Why?” she asked, unable to help a smile at that.
He smiled. “Well, I could take you out for dinner now, if you wanted. There’s nothing to stop us.”
“Well,” she said, uncertainly, “it would be nice, but I don’t know if I want to get attacked by aliens twice in one day.”
He faced her. “Is that your only objection?”
“I don’t want to die?” she murmured. “Yes. Really, it is.”
He said, “Then come on. Nothing will happen, not this time. I promise.”
“I’d have to change,” she said.
Evered said, “It doesn’t have to be anywhere special, not today. Come on.”
“Why not?” she said, and smiled at him fully, pulling her front door shut behind her, as she did so, and giving him her hand, letting him lead her away down the drive. “But if anything else tries to kill us, then next time it had better be somewhere very, very special and expensive, I’m warning you now!”
***
Author: lost_spook
Rating: All Ages / PG
Word Count: 3685
Characters/Pairings: Captain Evered, Anna Taylor
Warnings: None. (Spoilers for UNIT: Wraiths if anyone was at all worried about such things).
Summary: Summer 1987 - UNIT and dating are two things that don't go together, and Anna and Captain Evered find out why as they attempt to have at least one date at some point before the end of the year.
Another one of those UNIT missing scenes again! As I mentioned earlier in the week, I spent most of Sunday writing this, all because belantana reviewed UNIT: Wraiths, very kindly, and then I worried that the lack of some explanation of how and when these two OCs got together might be a disappointment. And then of course I recollected the throwaway lines about dating being impossible when you fight monsters. (And, belantana, even though very probably you didn't want this, there is an Auton. Which is not completely un-Zombie like, after all... ;-D) It just took me an age to get around to the final corrections.
***
Anna Taylor heard the phone ringing and cursed it briefly under her breath, before making her way down the stairs to answer it. She had already had a bad week at school, teaching, and an even worse Saturday, when she’d unexpectedly managed to get herself involved with a UN military organisation that investigated the unexplained, resulting in alien abduction. She was having trouble believing some of that now that she’d had a sleep since. However, the members of UNIT themselves all seemed real enough, especially, she thought, making a face at herself in the mirror as she passed, the tall, dark and handsome Captain Evered who had, of course, not been interested in her. She supposed, as she reached for the cream-coloured telephone, that it was only to expected, after she’d shouted at him quite unreasonably, talked inanely, read him a children’s book, and refused to believe he was telling the truth about aliens. “Anna speaking.”
“Good,” said the voice of the self-same Captain in return, and she wondered anxiously, what on earth she could have done this time, and leant back against the wall, being stern with herself for hoping he’d changed his mind. Don’t behave like a teenager, she admonished herself silently. “This is Captain Evered, I should say - David Evered, from UNIT -.”
She had to bite back laughter then, relaxing slightly. “Oh, yes, don’t worry. I do remember. It was only yesterday, and I don’t get abducted by aliens every weekend. I suppose this is about those tests?”
“I’m sorry?” he said blankly. “No, no, not that. Sister will get in touch with you about that. It was only - I think you were right, after all. I’d say I do owe you dinner, if you still wanted -.”
Anna put her hand over the speaker so that she couldn’t leap in with an over-eager yes, and waited for him to finish.
“-Then that would be good. What would you say to Friday?”
She smiled. “Friday would be fine. Where?”
“I don’t know,” he said, sounding caught off-guard.
Her smiled widened then, because he’d been so infuriatingly imperturbable throughout their ordeal that she took that as a hopeful sign. “Well, let’s decide on a time, and we’ll sort the rest presently. You’d better give me your number, so I can tell you if something goes horribly wrong in the meantime.”
*
The first thing she learned about UNIT and dating was that the two didn’t sit easily together. As it turned out, saving the world and having a social life weren’t very compatible. On Thursday, she had a phone call to cancel their arrangement, about which she was very cheerful and reasonable (while she was on the phone), and they rescheduled it for the following week, when he couldn’t come because they had some nasty business with a mad Professor experimenting with a strange substance he’d found somewhere in France (that had turned out to be alien in origin and turned people into hairy green monsters). It was, she had to admit, at least an inventive excuse.
“Look,” Evered said, once he’d explained this, “there’s this wedding next, but that’s a private affair. The Friday after - how about that?”
She sighed, twisting a strand of her mid-brown hair around her finger as she leant back against the banister. “Next Friday would be lovely. And when will you be ringing me to postpone that, please? I wouldn’t want to miss your call, since it’s the only time I speak to you.”
“I won’t,” he said. “Things have calmed down a bit now.”
*
This time, Captain Evered got as far as arriving, but he was in uniform, with a military vehicle parked incongruously in the road outside her house, and another soldier waiting at the wheel, so if it was going to be a date, it clearly wasn’t going to be very romantic.
“I can’t,” he said. “I was supposed to be off, but there’s a UFO crash-landing in Kent and the Colonel wants me there.”
Anna put a hand up to the door-jamb. “Oh, is there?” she countered. Here she was, dressed in a royal blue dress that clearly wasn’t casual wear, off the shoulder on one side, so she couldn’t pretend she hadn’t been assuming he actually would turn up this time. “Can’t they phone the AA for repairs or something?”
“I can’t argue with the Colonel,” he said. “I thought we’d stop off and tell you.”
“Well, I appreciate that. Can you please just tell me if you’d rather not go out with me? If you’ve got back together with the other girl in the meantime, or taken a dislike to mad schoolteachers, I’d rather you said.”
“It’s been busy lately, that’s all,” he told her. “This one shouldn’t be too bad, and once we’re done, it’s the holidays next week, isn’t it? I’ll meet you for lunch on Tuesday, if you’re around.”
She bit her lip. “Tuesday?”
“Only if you’re free -.”
“Yes," she said. “Tuesday.”
“Right.”
He turned to go, and she called after him. “Captain - David. I’m sorry. You will be careful, won’t you?”
“Of course,” Evered said, evenly. “They do prefer you to stay alive, and I’m determined to make Tuesday.”
“Well, yes,” she said. “That’s what I was thinking. It’s so humiliating to sit alone, waiting for someone who never turns up.”
He turned at the gate, with a smile. “Understood.”
*
Anna looked at her watch again, as she waited at The Green Leaf in Garhampton. He was fifteen minutes late, and she knew he’d survived whatever happened in Kent because he’d rung her two days ago to arrange where to meet, and when. Maybe he did want to pay her out for something she hadn’t fathomed yet? She rested her chin on her hands and stared downwards at her coffee, heaving a sigh that blew circles on its surface.
“I made it,” Evered said, from above her, squeezing himself into the seat opposite. He seemed definitely oversized for the undeniably quaint tea-shop setting. He was also wearing his uniform again, which made him look even more out of place, and she realised, with a sinking heart, was bound to mean another putting off of this non-event. However, he only smiled, evidently feeling that getting here was an achievement, and he removed his hat. “Sorry about being late.”
She stirred her coffee unnecessarily, unsure what she was supposed to say or do now that he was here. They had spent a ridiculous amount of effort on reaching this point, and now she remembered, that beyond their phone calls and the odd experience they’d shared on that first Saturday, they barely knew each other. “Are you supposed to be on duty somewhere?”
“Nearly,” he said, with a glance down at himself, as he’d forgotten what he happened to be wearing. “We were having some trouble, and I thought I was going to have send someone to warn you, but, as it turns out, we sorted it - only the clearing up left, and I’m well overdue for my day off.”
Anna put the spoon down. “Oh. What was it this time, or am I not allowed to ask?”
“You can ask,” he said, with humour in his brown eyes. “I’d better not go into details, but as it turned out, the radio get-up Dr Webber used to deal with those other aliens was handy for this lot, and here I am.”
She shifted back in her chair. “What did I promise to do? Am I going to phone this Eve up and tell her to leave you alone, or else?”
“No, don’t,” he said, with a look of mild alarm. She wondered if he ever progressed to anything more extreme, at least visibly. She remembered from before that it was wise not to take his understatements at their face value.
She coloured. “Sorry. Only a joke. It was a stupid thing to say.”
“How about you?” he asked. “Did you tell the head about your odd parent? Did he come back?”
Anna smiled, surprised that he’d remembered if there had been so many alien problems since. Her little school-related issue could hardly seem important, even if he’d been nice about it before. “I did, just to be on the safe side, like you said. And he did come back, actually, but I told him I was busy, and he could see the head instead. He was rather scathing and unpleasant, but I didn’t stay to listen.”
“Want to give me his name?” asked Evered, taking a small notebook out of his top pocket, semi-serious. “I’m sure we could easily have an unexplained incident to investigate at his place of work.”
She laughed, but looked up at a commotion outside the café entrance - the sound of cars braking, and people shouting. As she did so, she had to stare as someone - no, something - walked right in through the door. Literally, through it, the glass and frame shattering about it, and she had the unreal feeling of being in a film or something, because these things didn’t happen in Garhampton.
“Captain,” she said, getting to her feet without registering the fact.
He turned his head sharply and bit back something under his breath, as he stood, pushing past the side of the table so roughly that she had to steady it (and then afterwards wondered why she had bothered).
“Everyone out,” he yelled, to the rest of the startled customers. “Now!” He looked to the woman at the counter and the waitress who’d just dropped her tray, coffee, milk, sugar and china tumbling onto the carpet and floorboards. “Evacuate the place now - use the fire exit!”
Anna somehow assumed that didn’t apply to her, and stayed; watching the thing standing in the entrance, looking about itself with a blank face, as it seemed, against all probability to be a shop dummy. Everyone else bowed to the Captain’s air of authority and official uniform, and headed for the back, uncertainly at first, but as the thing moved forward again, more hastily. It stopped its rotation once it was facing Evered. As half of its hand fell away to reveal what had to be a weapon, Anna dropped under the table with an unheroic squeak. It fired past them both, hitting one of the chairs behind her and as it hit it, the object exploded into nothing but ash. It happened so fast she might have thought the chair had vanished, if she hadn’t had some of the dust fall over her.
Evered got down beside her, in the middle of radioing UNIT for reinforcements. “I said to get out!”
“I didn’t,” she said, realising only now it hadn’t been the sensible thing to do.
He glanced back up at it. “I’m sorry. I still had the signal in my pocket. There must have been a stray one that hadn’t reached us.” He pulled out from his jacket, something that looked like one of those plastic eggs you got out of seaside machines, usually with a fake parrot squawking inside it, except that it was glowing and emitting a sound that wasn’t completely unlike a telephone ringing.
“Oh,” Anna said. “You mean it’s you it’s after?”
He nodded. “Well, this, anyway. It’s programmed to follow the signal.”
The dummy walked on forward, ignoring any tables in its path, and though they slowed it down slightly, they only fell to one side, or it broke them as it went. It fired again, but way over their hands this time, disintegrating a picture and leaving a scorch mark over the patterned wallpaper.
“Can’t you shoot it?” she gasped, crawling backwards.
He glanced from it to her. “Even if I was armed, it wouldn’t make much difference to an Auton.”
“Then what do you do to stop one?” she asked.
“I don’t know. Electrical signals - heat - I’m not sure. Just run!”
That was a good idea, she thought, but she was unsure she wanted to straighten up and make a target of herself, however. Evered grabbed at her arm, pulling her up, and, she noted, colouring, keeping between it and her as he did so. At the movement, it stopped and turned its head about again.
“Can’t it see us?” she asked as they made it to the door marked ‘Staff Only’, still hanging open.
The Captain pushed her through it, and then followed, slamming it shut after them.
“Did you say heat and electrics?” she asked, as they stopped in the kitchen.
Evered followed her gaze and then looked back at her. “I’m still not sure -.” Then he gave a brief nod. “Turn on everything you can - there might be something that will interfere with it, and it might help if I finish this -.” He held out the egg-shaped object again.
She turned to the large oven. It was already switched on, but she turned the dial up to the highest point, while Evered put the thing down on the worktop, looking for something to hit it with, as the creature itself hit against the dividing door, a little more solid than most of the other obstacles it had encountered in the café so far.
Anna offered him the largest knife she could see; probably more correctly a cleaver.
He looked back at her, raising an eyebrow.
“Well?” she countered. “And I turned the oven on. Could we use that?”
“I don’t think I can persuade it to stick its head inside -.”
She looked at the chopper again.
“Anna, I don’t think -,” he began, and stopped, both of them seeming to have the same thought, Evered taking the knife from her, even as it burst through the door, firing again.
Evered shoved her back, and she ducked round by the corner of the worktop, accidentally hitting the small fire extinguisher. It fired again, missing his arm by millimetres and he moved back, thudding into the shelves behind him, and sending jars flying.
Anna got back up, turning on the radio on the cluttered staff table behind her, switching the volume up to full, although she must have knocked the dial as she did it, the speakers only roaring with static. The Auton froze momentarily, and the Captain pushed it against the worktop. It moved again, not quite finished yet.
She caught at it, and it went still again, making its eerie, blank-faced check for what the movement had been, and Evered used the chance to bring the cleaver down, cutting the gun hand off, and then throwing it in the oven, slamming it shut.
Then it moved again, throwing Anna back. It was incredibly strong, she realised, although that had been evident from its progress through the building. She looked past it, up at the Captain. It might not be armed, but it was still dangerous. Evered grabbed at the plastic egg again, and brought a nearby hefty rolling pin down on it, and it ceased transmitting.
The Auton hesitated again, and then stood still.
“Is it dead?” she asked, in a whisper, not daring to move from the hard floor.
He looked at it. “I have a feeling it’s waiting for its next order. We’ll need to deal with it.”
“Oh,” she said. It was plastic, so it was silly to be squeamish, but she had a feeling she knew what he was thinking. “You’re not - you’re going to hack it to pieces, aren’t you?”
He grimaced. “I think I’d better. Sorry.”
“No, no,” she said, but she turned away briefly, glancing about the kitchen. “You did tell me this would never work. If you’d only explained that was because you have a tendency to bring killer shop dummies with you on a date, I wouldn’t have argued.”
Evered gave her a wry smile, and, once he’d managed to cut through it in a few other places, he picked up the pieces, and she hastily moved over to help. When she did so, she found it was very much like a doll she’d once had, not completely hard but definitely plastic. It was strange how it still seemed slightly ghoulish.
“In the oven?” she asked.
He shrugged. “I suppose, until the rest of UNIT arrives, anyway. They’re hard to stop.”
They added the plastic fragments to the other, and Anna shut the oven door, as he moved over to switch off the radio, still broadcasting overloud static.
“Come on,” he said, and led her towards the fire exit at the back, just as something exploded behind them and they both dived down behind. The Auton remains inside the over thudded against the door, like popcorn in a saucepan, only, with more force, and a second one blew the door off into the opposite wall.
It only seemed to Anna to make a loud, dull noise, but the next thing she knew, she was lying rather than crouching on the floor, and Evered was picking himself up to the side of her, lifting his head to survey the situation with caution.
“So, that wasn’t a good idea,” she concluded shakily, finding that there was semi-melted plastic splattered around the walls.
Evered winced. “I shouldn’t have put the weapon in. That was stupid.”
“Well,” she said, coughing for no reason at all, “we managed not to bring the building down, which is something.”
He held out a hand to her to help her up.
Anna took it, but then pulled it towards her, looking at an ugly red mark on the back of his hand. The cuff of his uniform was burnt and fraying at the edges. “It hurt you.”
“Just a singe,” he said. “It didn’t do anything worse. If it really had hit me-.”
She didn’t let go. “Then: poof. Yes, I saw. Still, you should put something on it right away.”
“Never mind that,” he said. “I didn’t even manage to buy you coffee.”
Anna smiled. “Well, next time, then.”
“You want there to be a next time, after this?” he asked, facing her, and she realised she’d managed to surprise him.
She nodded, and after all the life-and-death excitement, found that now she was finding herself breathless at being so close to him again. She was glad he’d stopped trying to make her stand, because she wasn’t sure she wouldn’t only fall over again if he did. “It would be nice if there was.”
“All right,” he said, and smiled back at her, moving in nearer, and putting his free hand to her face, and tightening his hold on her. “But if this one counts as a date, then stop calling me Captain.”
She reddened, pulling back in sudden near-panic. “Well, given the way you kept calling me Miss Taylor last time, I’m not sorry!”
“It was an odd situation,” he said. “Thought it best.”
“Oh?” she said, and then couldn’t keep back a laugh of disbelief. “What, because you might have forgotten yourself? Oh, really, C - David!”
He shrugged. “It was a very odd situation.”
“So is this,” she said, lowering her voice without knowing why. He kissed her then, briefly, and then again, as if he’d forgotten they were in a kitchen that they’d managed to nearly destroy, with melted Auton scattered around the walls and ceiling. She closed her eyes, ready to forget it herself, but then there was a shrill sound, and a burst of static as his radio flared into life, even as they heard shouts from elsewhere.
“What now?” he muttered.
She pulled a face at him. “You called for the cavalry. I think they’ve arrived.”
“Well, I don’t want them now,” he said with a slight grin, and then drew back. He directed a questioning look at her, and she had a feeling he was about to apologise.
Anna sat up properly. “Don’t,” she said, forestalling him, putting a hand out towards him. “If even having lunch is this difficult, we ought to make the most of whatever time we do get.”
“It’s not usually this bad,” he said. “It’s been busy lately.”
She widened her eyes. “Busy? Really? I’d never have guessed!”
*
When Corporal Fraser walked into the kitchen, the Captain was busy turning off the oven and the other appliances they’d left on, while Miss Taylor was standing up against the wall, and reminding him that he really should get his hand looked at.
“Yes,” he agreed distantly. “Fraser, get this place cleaned up, and deal with the owners - give them the usual details. I’d better see Miss Taylor home, and then get to sickbay.”
Fraser hid any dismay well. “Yes, sir.”
“I think,” said Anna, intervening, “that someone should take us both back to HQ, because I’m sure the Captain will soon notice that hand if he starts trying to drive with it.”
“I don’t mind,” said Evered. “Fraser?”
He glanced from one to the other, but only said. “Sir. Robinson can take you both.”
*
“Well, that was fun,” said Anna, once he finally did get to take her home. “However, next time I would prefer a little less excitement if you don’t mind.”
He paused, on her doorstep. “So, next time. When?”
“Soon,” she said. “Although maybe not too soon.”
Evered hesitated again. “How soon is too soon?”
“Why?” she asked, unable to help a smile at that.
He smiled. “Well, I could take you out for dinner now, if you wanted. There’s nothing to stop us.”
“Well,” she said, uncertainly, “it would be nice, but I don’t know if I want to get attacked by aliens twice in one day.”
He faced her. “Is that your only objection?”
“I don’t want to die?” she murmured. “Yes. Really, it is.”
He said, “Then come on. Nothing will happen, not this time. I promise.”
“I’d have to change,” she said.
Evered said, “It doesn’t have to be anywhere special, not today. Come on.”
“Why not?” she said, and smiled at him fully, pulling her front door shut behind her, as she did so, and giving him her hand, letting him lead her away down the drive. “But if anything else tries to kill us, then next time it had better be somewhere very, very special and expensive, I’m warning you now!”
***