...who.am.I.anymore...
As i sit in my cold dark room, i cant help but think of who i've become?.. i sit here and tell myself i'm happy and tell myself i'm fine... when i know what the truth is. its weird to compare my worries from a year ago to my worries now. if they were written out you'd prolly think they were two differnt people. i'm not to sure if its a good thing ( Read more... )
dont tell me that you're fucking trying. its sad. its pathetic.
you know, you really do suck at that whole 'best friend' thing now.
dont say you care. dont say you're sorry.
ive given up with you emily. with trying to be your friend.
cause i know its pointless for me to try and help you now. i got tired of the bullshit.
my attempt to help you, and keep you safe. and be your friend. it wore me out. it made me tired, and sick. YOU made me tired.
you lied to too many of your REAL friends. too many times.
you let your fucking ice addiction get between you and your REAL friendships. the ones that werent all about the drugs. and that is fucked up. you. for letting that happen.
so please, do not write this shit, acting as if its true.
emily, the thing with you when it comes to your friendships, is that you say all of these things, as if you want to fix the problem, or as if you really do care about a person, and that you really do want to change things, to make them better.. but its like you cant ever fucking act upon it. you are so full of words. thats it.
its like you can keep running your mouth, but nothing real ever comes out. just noise. theres no truth anymore. and its fucking sad. emily, it really is.
in all honesty it began to get real amusing to me. when people would tell me how mad they were at you, because you PROMISED that you would get them, then never showed up. you did this to your best fucking friends. how the fuck do you do that?! it just got so funny to me, because no one listened.
i stopped trusting you along time ago emily. and i stopped counting on you, i knew i couldnt depend on you anymore. you arent a friend to me or anyone anymore, its like you dont know how to be one. you became so very selfish. and only looked out for yourself.
and you try to tell me that you havent changed?!? please. if you dont think you have changed, you are fucking blind.
i loved you to death emily, i did. you knew that. i really did. i loved you more than anyone did. you know that for a fact. i was there for you when no one else was, or would be. or wanted to be. i stood by your ass through all of the shit, even when i was about to lose everyone elses friendship, just to watch out for you, and be there for you. i helped you out, i stuck by you. you know damn well that i would have died for you, no questions asked. i was a fucking TRUE friend to you. the best you will have. but there is nothing left of the friendship i had.
i wont say i'll die for you, because you've left me with nothing to die for. theres no one around that i thought and knew was you anymore. the old you.
and it makes me laugh, thinking back when i actually thought you were the same towards me. and how very good you are at fooling people. me.
i thought you were cool man. and you were, you really were. but now.. now you just arent all as cool as i thought you were.
.despite what you might think.
but hey man, you know what,
its alright now.
its all good.
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