(no subject)
I am surrounded by my weaknesses. All these things around me that compose my conceptualization of what life in this world is likely false. The more I learn the less I am sure of. I was thinking today about how people are not very god worthy. What I mean is man is not anywhere near what a perfect creator could create or if I were he, would have created. This line of thinking began to tread in dangerous waters for your average Christian. If I were God, would I not be satisfied in myself, in existing and not existing at the same time exceeding all possible reasoning. I believe a perfect entity once realizing it has reached perfection would find no purpose in their existence, and would fade away into nothing. The other choice is if a perfect being, encompassing complete perfection, expanded itself into everything and nothing. What I mean is there is no division between god, matter, time, eternity. He is all these things. If this is true man may be his greatest creation, because man is inversely connected with the harmony of the universe. He is like a virus impeding on his very own existence. But lets move back a step to where we talked about God becoming everything. If this is true then it is possible that God did create man. This however now impedes with morality. For is God is everything then nothing cannot be God. Hence everything including us are an extensions of divinity. Thus homosexuality, adultery, and those things which the Christian bible speak of are in error. For God would not allow what he is not. If we think that he is concerned with these things then that makes God a spectator upset when his programming goes against a desired result. But can we find this desire of higher morality within nature, apart from the construction of human social design? The final take allowing for Christendom to still work would be that God’s will and moral desire is found in nature and is utterly ruled by it. If this is true then God’s greatest creation being man, would be that he alone is in control of choosing to be within harmony with the universe, or not. This choice would be ours. The entire universe awaiting the final switch to be thrown. Many times I wonder if I, an imperfect being am tempted to give up this life, why would a being that has power over his own fate not dissolve himself. Well maybe because what we know as life is really death. I have many times heard that we are dying from the minute we are conceived. Maybe every now and again in this deathlike dance of existing we are given glimpses of what true life is. Existence without struggle. Quintessentially the identical concepts of conscious eternal streamline harmonious existence, and silent nothingness. I must reach a conclusion in this point of my learning that the God who created me is a singular entity more perfect then my mind now understands and that Men have manipulated his presence into an illogical format, which is why current religion leaves much to be explained. As for my belief in Christ, it is still strong with me, but I’m not sure how he yet fits into this entire scheme