Life is so shit right now
Finally my family has left to go somewhere, only to take my lil sis to her friends house thou, well my mum and other sis are working all day, so my lil bro went with my dad to take her. My family are all just totaly fuck heads (cuse the swearing). Far out, i just can't stand it. Its nearlly christmas, and all we are doing is fighting. As you all know im staying with my grandparents right now ( only sleep there thou, cuz i couldn't stand staying there for the entire day) Don't really know where i'd rather be right now, there or here... mmmmm hard decision, rather be living on the streets, and i'm serious when i say that. The other night, I got into this huge fight with my sis Jo about how moody i've been and stuff, and i just lost it, cuz i hate people giving me crap about stuff that i can't control, and who was the one that got yelled at for being inapropriate.... MEEEE... and i had it, cuz i'm always the one who gets in trouble, for giving me opinion. I thought people were s'pose to be assertive, and i wasn't rude in anyway, well i might of had a louder voice, cuz i was pissed off, but that was about it. And after that i just said, well if your going to keep doing this, blaming everything on me all the time, i'll leave. Then they are like, ok get in the car we'll take you to your grandparents house... and i hate it how, they use that as my punishment, and i said NOO i'm not going there, i'd rather live on the streets (yes thats harsh, but all my grandfather does, is put me down, and put my family down, and i've had it with that, i've really had it with everything at the moment). So i got my bags i bring home with me each day, and started walking, and my mum had to come after me, cuz she thought i was going to do something to myself... in which i was i was going to the bottle shop to get some smurnoff and get off my face, and hopfull drop dead. Cuz my body doesn't react to alcohol that well, and i stop breathing.
All i ever seem to be doing is cry....i hate it, and i have no energy to do things, i'd sleep 24/7 if i was allowed!!!!!!
Sorry about all of this, i'm just in the crapest mood, and angry....i really don't know what to do....its s'pose to be an alright time. This is actually going to be my first christmas at home in 4 years, since i've been in hospital for the last 4 of them.
I hope you all have a great and safe christmas!!!!!!!
TAKE CARE
All i ever seem to be doing is cry....i hate it, and i have no energy to do things, i'd sleep 24/7 if i was allowed!!!!!!
Sorry about all of this, i'm just in the crapest mood, and angry....i really don't know what to do....its s'pose to be an alright time. This is actually going to be my first christmas at home in 4 years, since i've been in hospital for the last 4 of them.
I hope you all have a great and safe christmas!!!!!!!
TAKE CARE