i feel dead...
So last night I was talking to my boyfriend and I was prying info out of him because he's staying at his baby's mama's house(i know, he does have a 3 yr. old kid) cuz he's good friends with her brother. So all day I felt my intuition kicking in and I was thinking something is going to happen between him & his ex. So I got home around 8 from being at school all day and called him. It took me the third call for him to tell me that she jacked him off in the laundry room, but his clothes were on he implied. I don't give a fuck if his clothes were still on, her hand was on my boyfriend's dick...giving him pleasure! That's my damn fuckin job. He talks about it as if it's no big deal! That i'm overreacting! That it didn't mean anything! He told me that when he's around her he likes her again. I've seen him and her interact w/ me around. He fuckin flirts with her in front of my face and she does too! Stupid fucking whore, she has 4 kids and all of them have different dads! All his stupid actions and abuse has piled up on each other and I'm done. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep because I can't trust him. Who can?! He's so fuckin full of himself and he treats me like shit. And he blames all of our problems on me! He stirs up this rage inside of me that scares me sometimes. I'm praying to God for strength and courage to leave his ass, I've given him way too many chances than any girl should have to give a man who fucks up everytime. It hurts me to think that this has been my longest relationship(but on & off)and that it wasn't with a guy that didn't at all treat me like a princess...i know that sounds self-centered but what girl dosn't want to be treated like a princess by a man? I know what he's going to try to do...he's going to be all lovey dovey and say stuff like "i can't live with out you" and "you're my angel" and "i'll never stop loving you". And he'll still find a way to blame it on me or bring up the past and all this BS. I'm just tired, so tired of him and tired of loving him. I can't understand why I love him so and that he's the hardest to get over...