"Nothing happens by chance."
When I was 11 years old my daddy took my younger brother Craig and I to see A League of Their Own in theatres. We grew up going to baseball games in the summer with our grandmother, so I already had a love for baseball. I remember getting lost in the movie, in a world I wish I could have lived in, but was near impossible due to my cerebral palsy. The one aspect of the movie that stood out to me the most was the performace by Rosie O'Donnell. There was something about the tough girl with the heavy Long Island accent, who still had a tender heart that captivated me.
From then on, I followed her career. The movies she did were for the most part, fun, and had a touch of heart to them. My favorites were always the ones that involved kids, since I've wanted to work with kids for as long as I can remember. Wide Awake, Now & Then, Harriet The Spy -- they all gave me a sense of light when I needed it.
Then there came The Rosie O'Donnell Show in 1996. This show became routine for me, as it had the rest of it's loyal viewers. I began to see it as my safety net of sorts. Those of you that know me, know how hard it is to get through each day, and considering at the time I was living with both of my parents who were abusive due to drug use, there wasn't much I could count on. School was my escape, and I was always scared to come home. However, it seemed that when I closed myself in my room everyday afterschool, I would turn on the TV to Rosie's show, and she'd make me laugh, because let's face it, her jokes and stories were always funny. Or she'd inspire me with the kids she had on, I always dreamed to be one of those kids, but I never was. Then she would take me to the world of theatre that I loved so dealy from my childhood, a world only my grandfather understood because he was responisble for my love for the stage, but Rosie took it deeper. By the end of the hour everyday, I had forgotten everything that had happened in the day. I felt untouchable. I liked that feeling.
When Rosie's show ended in 2002 I was crushed. I was crushed because I felt like the only form of consistancy I had wasn't going to be there anymore. I was crushed because I was a stupid kid who was upset that she never got to meet her idol and thank her for everything she did for me without knowing it. When her show ended, I made a crappy tribute website to make myself feel better. However, even after all of this - I was happy for her because she was getting to get away from the pressures of fame and be a mom to her children. Since the end of her show's run, every time she's been in L.A. at The Tonight Show, I have been in the standby line before the show. I haven't gotten in yet, but I know my time will come.
The thing that is hard for me to explain to people about my love and adoration for Rosie O'Donnell is just why I look up to her as much as I do. Everytime I try to find the right words, I'm at a loss for words altogether. Or when I try to explain, people just don't get why I think the way I do. When I look at why I love Rosie, it has nothing whatsoever to do with her fame. I love her for the human being that she is, and the standards that she chooses to live by. I love her for what she does for people that are in need, or have been damaged by the obstacles of life, most especially what she does for kids. This woman gives and gives with all of her heart, sometimes not knowing where the line is or when she's crossed it. All that matters though, is the fact that at the end of the day, she has made a difference in someone's life while staying true to who she is. I learn so much just by watching her, and I can only hope that one day I will have the chance to impact people on a larger scale as she has done. That is all I have ever wanted from life. Whenever life feels like it's too much for me to handle, or I lose faith in the things I believe in or accomplishing my goals, I curl up in my bed and read her book Find Me from cover to cover. And maybe, for a little while, I feel like I'm not alone in the world. That is what Rosie O'Donnell does for me without knowing it.
Tonight (well, last night now at the point that I'm writing this) my best friend
Heather met Rosie at Fiddler on the Roof. At first, earlier this week, it hurt me that I wasn't able to go with her, and she felt bad that I couldn't go as well. However, something happened this weekend - out of nowhere things became clear to me. I learned things that I think I knew all along, but are sometimes hard to see. I learned that everything is not always about me, even though I get carried away with being concerned with myself sometimes. I learned above anything else that everything does happen for a reason, even if you may not believe that sometimes. As Rosie would say, "Nothing happens by chance." I also can't even express the amount of joy and happiness I have at the fact that Heather had an amazing time in the city, which she definetely deserved. I learned that friendship is a beautiful thing and its boundaries are limitless. Not that I didn't know that before, but everyday there is something new to appreciate. I know now that one day my time will come, and I will welcome it with open arms.
Whether it is a day, a week, a month, or years from now... I will meet Rosie O'Donnell. I will probably cry a lot when it does happen, but through my tears I will tell her what she means to me. Maybe I'll give her this post, if I can't find the words. Whatever happens, I will cherish every moment. That is what she has always taught me to live for - the moment and the brighter days will come.
I don't let people into this part of me very often. I like to keep it private because it is my strength when I feel like I have none. However, now I hope that maybe you all understand even a little bit just why Rosie O'Donnell is my biggest inspiration.
Note: If you want to see the said "crappy tribute website" mentioned in this post - go here: http://geocities.com/inspirationaleyes/. Keep in mind that it hasn't been updated since 2003 so my blog link and e-mail address are incorrect, clearly.
From then on, I followed her career. The movies she did were for the most part, fun, and had a touch of heart to them. My favorites were always the ones that involved kids, since I've wanted to work with kids for as long as I can remember. Wide Awake, Now & Then, Harriet The Spy -- they all gave me a sense of light when I needed it.
Then there came The Rosie O'Donnell Show in 1996. This show became routine for me, as it had the rest of it's loyal viewers. I began to see it as my safety net of sorts. Those of you that know me, know how hard it is to get through each day, and considering at the time I was living with both of my parents who were abusive due to drug use, there wasn't much I could count on. School was my escape, and I was always scared to come home. However, it seemed that when I closed myself in my room everyday afterschool, I would turn on the TV to Rosie's show, and she'd make me laugh, because let's face it, her jokes and stories were always funny. Or she'd inspire me with the kids she had on, I always dreamed to be one of those kids, but I never was. Then she would take me to the world of theatre that I loved so dealy from my childhood, a world only my grandfather understood because he was responisble for my love for the stage, but Rosie took it deeper. By the end of the hour everyday, I had forgotten everything that had happened in the day. I felt untouchable. I liked that feeling.
When Rosie's show ended in 2002 I was crushed. I was crushed because I felt like the only form of consistancy I had wasn't going to be there anymore. I was crushed because I was a stupid kid who was upset that she never got to meet her idol and thank her for everything she did for me without knowing it. When her show ended, I made a crappy tribute website to make myself feel better. However, even after all of this - I was happy for her because she was getting to get away from the pressures of fame and be a mom to her children. Since the end of her show's run, every time she's been in L.A. at The Tonight Show, I have been in the standby line before the show. I haven't gotten in yet, but I know my time will come.
The thing that is hard for me to explain to people about my love and adoration for Rosie O'Donnell is just why I look up to her as much as I do. Everytime I try to find the right words, I'm at a loss for words altogether. Or when I try to explain, people just don't get why I think the way I do. When I look at why I love Rosie, it has nothing whatsoever to do with her fame. I love her for the human being that she is, and the standards that she chooses to live by. I love her for what she does for people that are in need, or have been damaged by the obstacles of life, most especially what she does for kids. This woman gives and gives with all of her heart, sometimes not knowing where the line is or when she's crossed it. All that matters though, is the fact that at the end of the day, she has made a difference in someone's life while staying true to who she is. I learn so much just by watching her, and I can only hope that one day I will have the chance to impact people on a larger scale as she has done. That is all I have ever wanted from life. Whenever life feels like it's too much for me to handle, or I lose faith in the things I believe in or accomplishing my goals, I curl up in my bed and read her book Find Me from cover to cover. And maybe, for a little while, I feel like I'm not alone in the world. That is what Rosie O'Donnell does for me without knowing it.
Tonight (well, last night now at the point that I'm writing this) my best friend
Heather met Rosie at Fiddler on the Roof. At first, earlier this week, it hurt me that I wasn't able to go with her, and she felt bad that I couldn't go as well. However, something happened this weekend - out of nowhere things became clear to me. I learned things that I think I knew all along, but are sometimes hard to see. I learned that everything is not always about me, even though I get carried away with being concerned with myself sometimes. I learned above anything else that everything does happen for a reason, even if you may not believe that sometimes. As Rosie would say, "Nothing happens by chance." I also can't even express the amount of joy and happiness I have at the fact that Heather had an amazing time in the city, which she definetely deserved. I learned that friendship is a beautiful thing and its boundaries are limitless. Not that I didn't know that before, but everyday there is something new to appreciate. I know now that one day my time will come, and I will welcome it with open arms.
Whether it is a day, a week, a month, or years from now... I will meet Rosie O'Donnell. I will probably cry a lot when it does happen, but through my tears I will tell her what she means to me. Maybe I'll give her this post, if I can't find the words. Whatever happens, I will cherish every moment. That is what she has always taught me to live for - the moment and the brighter days will come.
I don't let people into this part of me very often. I like to keep it private because it is my strength when I feel like I have none. However, now I hope that maybe you all understand even a little bit just why Rosie O'Donnell is my biggest inspiration.
Note: If you want to see the said "crappy tribute website" mentioned in this post - go here: http://geocities.com/inspirationaleyes/. Keep in mind that it hasn't been updated since 2003 so my blog link and e-mail address are incorrect, clearly.