Been Doing Alot of Thinking
Things in a way have been going smoothly since my last update.
School is going great.
My relationship is actually in a good place from my perspective.
Friendships I've built with the new people in my life is ahhmazing.
I couldn't ask for more.
I've just been really tired and not eating as much.
I don't know what it is with me,but i feel like if i so much as eat a crum
I'd feel like i'd gain 5 lbs.
I mean its completly retarded.
But my insecurity is is that i just don't want to get huge again.
People don't seem to believe me when i say i was 167 at one point in my life.
Which held me back from alot of shit,plus being 4'10-4'11 at the time didn't help.
I'm trying to break out of the habit.
In my honest opinion i think i may have an eating disorder.
But who am i to say.
Latley my breathing kinda scares me sometimes.
I feel like im not getting enough oxygen to my brain for me to concentrate
&& i feel like im going to die.
And its scares the shit out of me sometimes cause i don't breathe at a steady pace.
I just .. i really need to get to a doctor before something horrible happens to me.
Right now im just really relaxed but tired.
And my internet is finally working so i can start on my last minute project.
The thing i hate this month is how i get piled up with so much goddamn work
That i don't even have the time for when i come to think of it.
It's not fair but i have to do it and lose a decent amount of hours of sleep.
But moving on ..
So Janessa and her boyfriend broke up.
Okay we ALL saw that coming.
But we knew the boy was going in for one thing and one thing only.
Her virginity
The guy is a fucking pig.
and i can tell he is insecure with himself to use girls.
I honestly felt bad for her at one point,shit i even missed her.
But not anymore.
She makes the most stupidest disissions.
Now to my love life..
That boy is fkn amazing.
There is not a day that goes by where i don't think of him.
& im always so eager to see him.
I realized we've been so busy but in a way we make time for each other.
I see things looking up for us and i don't want anyone tearing it down again.
Cause i will seriously hurt someone if they get in the way of me and Chris.
But the way i feel for him is like how i did when we first met;even powerful then that.
I love him more then anything in this world.
He's my future<3
Well its almost 5 in the morning,gonna sleep for a bit then head back online to finish up some 2 projects that i have.
School is going great.
My relationship is actually in a good place from my perspective.
Friendships I've built with the new people in my life is ahhmazing.
I couldn't ask for more.
I've just been really tired and not eating as much.
I don't know what it is with me,but i feel like if i so much as eat a crum
I'd feel like i'd gain 5 lbs.
I mean its completly retarded.
But my insecurity is is that i just don't want to get huge again.
People don't seem to believe me when i say i was 167 at one point in my life.
Which held me back from alot of shit,plus being 4'10-4'11 at the time didn't help.
I'm trying to break out of the habit.
In my honest opinion i think i may have an eating disorder.
But who am i to say.
Latley my breathing kinda scares me sometimes.
I feel like im not getting enough oxygen to my brain for me to concentrate
&& i feel like im going to die.
And its scares the shit out of me sometimes cause i don't breathe at a steady pace.
I just .. i really need to get to a doctor before something horrible happens to me.
Right now im just really relaxed but tired.
And my internet is finally working so i can start on my last minute project.
The thing i hate this month is how i get piled up with so much goddamn work
That i don't even have the time for when i come to think of it.
It's not fair but i have to do it and lose a decent amount of hours of sleep.
But moving on ..
So Janessa and her boyfriend broke up.
Okay we ALL saw that coming.
But we knew the boy was going in for one thing and one thing only.
Her virginity
The guy is a fucking pig.
and i can tell he is insecure with himself to use girls.
I honestly felt bad for her at one point,shit i even missed her.
But not anymore.
She makes the most stupidest disissions.
Now to my love life..
That boy is fkn amazing.
There is not a day that goes by where i don't think of him.
& im always so eager to see him.
I realized we've been so busy but in a way we make time for each other.
I see things looking up for us and i don't want anyone tearing it down again.
Cause i will seriously hurt someone if they get in the way of me and Chris.
But the way i feel for him is like how i did when we first met;even powerful then that.
I love him more then anything in this world.
He's my future<3
Well its almost 5 in the morning,gonna sleep for a bit then head back online to finish up some 2 projects that i have.